Darren is getting married, but he'd rather he wasn't!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
So here I am waiting at the altar for my beautiful bride. My
beautiful, seven months pregnant with twins bride! It should be the
happiest day of my life; I helped to create those twins didn't I? I
love her don't I? Yes they are my twins; and I think I do love her,
or at least I did, but getting married? I don't know if I'm ready
for this. Bit late to be thinking about that isn't it? A few more
minutes and she'll be beside me ready to exchange vows, in front of
our families and all our friends.
I look around; bloody hell there's a lot of people here, I can't bail
out now it's too late! I can't abandon her now; what kind of shit
does that? But the truth is I'm in love with someone else! So I am
a total shit anyway right? And you know what's worse? The person
I'm in love with is sat right over there ready to witness the whole
sorry charade about to take place. This is the worst day of my life;
I want to scream NO and run! But I can't; I have to see it through
for the sake of our babies if nothing else.
Oh heck here we go, the wedding march has started; she's here. I
turn to look at her she does look beautiful walking slowly down the
aisle on the arm of her father. He's a big guy and he would fucking
kill me if he knew what I was thinking right now! No it's too late;
gotta go through with it. My other love catches my eye; smiles at
me. I smile back nervously then prepare to greet my soon-to-be wife
as she reaches my side. I smile at her and she smiles back.
"Hi," she whispers.
"Hi sweetheart, you look beautiful," I whisper back.
I do mean it; she is beautiful. Even more so when I think she is carrying my
babies inside her. She didn't have to keep them but she chose to
because she loves me. And of course she believes I love her and only
her; she has no idea about my true feelings. About my other love.
The service starts but I'm not really listening; all these thoughts
are still spinning around in my head. I feel nauseous; I think I'm
going to throw up! I really want to run. I can't do this I just
can't; I glance around and see her father again and I know I have
to. Then of course there are her two brothers; I don't stand a
chance I've got to go through with it. I have no choice.
Then I hear her voice say 'I do'. Soon it will be my turn. My
thoughts drift again; I really don't want to be here. Then I'm aware
someone is saying my name.
I snap out of my daydream.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Where were you?" she asks. "You looked like you were away with the
fairies! Are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine." I look at the minister. "Sorry, carry on!"
"Do you, Darren Stanley Hayes take Shana Liberty James to be your
lawfully wedded wife?"
I freeze; like a rabbit caught in headlights! I feel hot, sweaty; I
can hardly breathe. I open my mouth, try to speak; try to answer the
question, to say something! Anything. Nothing will come out. I'm
not even sure what I want to say. Yes and go on to live a lie or no
and make a bid for freedom?
"Darren," she says. "What's wrong; are you sick? Darren baby,
answer me; you're scaring me! What's wrong?"
"No," I finally manage to say.
"No? No what? What's wrong?"
"No, I can't do this; I'm sorry I can't do it."
"Darren don't do this not now! Please Darren..."
"NO NO NO! NOOOOOO!"
"Dazza sweetheart calm down it's ok; it's ok. Baby it's ok."
Then I open my eyes; I'm breathing heavily. Sweating, tears
streaming down my face. Then I'm aware of beautiful green eyes
staring into mine. Green? Aren't her eyes blue?
"Dazza it's ok you're safe. Did you have a bad dream?"
"Danny?" I blink and realise I'm in bed with my real lover. "Yeah I
had a bad dream! Hold me."
"Well you will insist on having late night snacks!" he says.
Then my love is holding me in his arms calming me down; making soft
reassuring sounds and kissing me gently. I realize that I don't know
the girl from my nightmare and I'm not really about to be the father
of twins. It had all been just a bad dream!