Categories > Books > Harry Potter

Harry Potter's Strange Dream

by Oldwolf 8 reviews

Harry has an extremely odd dream.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Parody - Characters: Dumbledore, Fudge, Harry, Peter, Tom Riddle - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-04-03 - Updated: 2006-04-03 - 896 words - Complete

5Funny
Disclaimer: Harry and crew belong to the esteemed J Disclaimer: Harry and crew belong to the esteemed J. K. Rowling not me. I ain't making any money so don't bother suing.
Harry's sitting at the table of #12. As he looks to his side, he finds Albus sitting there. Turning back to face forward, Harry finds Tom and Peter sitting across from him. A chair scuffles at the head of the table; Harry turns to find Cornelius just sitting down.
"Ah," Cornelius says, "I'm glad everyone could make it. Does everyone remember where we were at when we broke up last time?"
There are nod all around the table.
"Very well, let's begin the battle then. Everyone please roll initiative."
To Harry's surprise, he feels something hard in his hand. He shakes his hand a little before he tosses it on the table. He sees that it's a die, only it has more thane 6 sides. Harry's die comes up a 17. Everyone around the table, except Cornelius emulates Harry's action. Tom rolls a 16, Peter a 12 and Albus comes up with a 2.
"Ok Harry, you go first, what do you want to do?"
Harry says, "I'll cast the Darkness Destroyer spell against Voldemort."
"Ouch, triple damage versus evil creatures, good choice. Well, roll your attack."
Harry picks up his die and rolls. Everyone has their eyes glued to the small piece of bouncing plastic. Finally the die comes to a rest, the number 20 is showing.
Cornelius says, "Ouch good roll Harry, a threat. Roll again to see if you managed a critical."
Taking the die in hand, once more, Harry cast his fate again. The die bounces for almost a minute before coming up a 20 again.
"Ouch indeed. Complete critical, max damage applied directly to the Hit Points. Tome make a Fortitude roll, difficulty 30."
Tom swallows hard as he picks up his die and casts his fortune.
The die hits the table and bounces once, twice, thrice, before coming to a rest. The die is showing a one.
Tom looks at the die for a moment, "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"
Cornelius, "Ouch, sorry Tom. Peter, action passes to you."
Peter focuses for a moment, "I'll use the Killing Curse against Potter."
"Okay, make your attack please."
Peter picks up his die and makes his roll. There are groans around the table as the die comes up a one.
Cornelius says, "Looks like fate is being a bitch to the forces of evil tonight. Roll again to see how bad it is."
Nary a breath is drawn as Peter picks up his die and rolls his fate. Even Albus takes a moment to swear as the die comes up a one again.
"Well, it would seem fate wants Evil well and truly fucked tonight, so here we go.
"Harry cast the Darkness Destroy spell and Voldemort vanishes in a flash of light, leaving only a small pile of robes. In a fit of grief, Wormtail cries out 'Avada Kedavra' and points his wand at his own head before dropping to the ground, lifeless.
Well boys, I guess that does it for this campaign. Tom, Peter we'll have to get together and create some new characters for you. For now though, break out the refreshments." So saying, he reaches into his robe and pulls out a small plastic baggie that he tosses onto the table.
From his robe, Tom pulls out a small metal pipe, about three inches long.
Peter reaches into his rob and pulls out a bottle of Fire Whiskey.
Albus waves his hand and the table is covered in finger foods.
Tom reaches for the baggie as Harry goes over to the cupboard and gets a large bottle of soda and five glasses before returning to his seat.
Harry takes the Fire whiskey and pours a measure into each of the glasses while Tom pulls a small pair of scissors from his robes before he pulls out a clump of green bud from the baggie. He then uses the scissors to help break the clump up into a small pile.
Meanwhile, Harry has finished pouring the proper amount of liquor into the glasses, he opens the soda and adds a good portion to the mix. He pulls out his wand and casts 5 gentle stirring charms. Finally the glasses get passed out.
Cornelius raises his glass, "Boys, here's to a good campaign and a good fight."
Everyone raises his glass and takes a small sip.
Harry marvels at the sweet, sharp taste of the drink.
Albus says, "Perfectly mixed, as always my boy."
By this point, Tom has a decent sized pile in front of him, so he lays the scissors down and puts the rest of the clump backing into the baggie. Finally, long limber fingers puck up and pack the pipe. Tom presses the pipe to his thin lips and casts a flame charm into the bowl. Tome takes a long drag before passing the pipe to Harry. Tom holds the hit for a moment before releasing it. Harry's just raising the pipe to his lips when Tom says, "Hey Harry." The two lock eyes, "No hard feeling ok?"
Harry nods his head as he presses the pipe to his lips.
Harry sits up in his bed at #12. He looks around the room with a perplexed expression.
"Ok, that was one strange dream."
Until next time.
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