Categories > Original > Humor4 Reviews
F/F With A Lil' Humor
“Ma’am, I’m not going to repeat myself. You’re under the influence while operating a vehicle.”
“Influence? Influence of what?”
I hear screaming from the other side of the car. It’s Amy. Now, I’m not gunna lie.. I did have a few beers, but I certainly am NOT drunk. Amy, on the other hand.. Well.. she had one too many.
“Alcohol, and possibly illegal substances.”
“What?! Illegal substances? I don't do drugs!”
“And I believe you ma'am."
“Then what the fuck are you doing?!”
The cop starts to get furious and slams me against the car next to Amy. Her hair is covered in vomit... I almost felt bad for her. She’s never gotten arrested before, and neither have I.
“Taylor… What’s g-going on?”
“We’ll be fine, hun.”
Amy loses her balance and falls to the floor. I jump out of the cops' arms and try to help her, but the next thing I know, I see black.
The next morning I wake up in a cell. Across the room I see Amy passed out with her arm hanging outside of the iron bars. I call her name a few times, but there wasn't a response. As soon as one of the guards noticed I was awake she came over and opened the cell door. I walked out not knowing what to expect. She asks me to step into a room. An Interrogation room. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone getting interrogated for drinking and driving. She sits me down at a desk in the middle of the room. I guess they're going to play the Good Cop Bad Cop thing on me. You know, like they do in the movies. Like in Batman. She leans over the desk and whispers something in my ear. I couldn't really make out what she said. I was still worried about Amy.
The guard turns off the lamp on the desk and leans in again, but this time she strokes my long blond hair and starts to whisper in my ear again.
”You’ll be Okay.”
“What abou-" She places her finger on my lips.
“Sh, sh. Don't be so loud, my dear.”
My eyes go wide as I try to figure out what's really happening. The guard gives me a small grin and turns around. I lean to my left to see what she's doing. Oh my God, She's unbuttoning her uniform. I push myself back into my seat. She slowly takes her top off. My heart skips a beat as she turns around and gives me another one of her innocent grins. The thought of Amy completely leaves my mind. The guard moves the small desk away from me and sits on my lap. She lays her hand gently on my shoulder and starts to kiss me. I wanted to to fight back, but I couldn't. The kisses got deeper and I was sent into a trance. Then she stops kissing me and starts toward my neck. She nibbles a little bit, then bites down, and I can't help but to gasp. She giggles softly and continues to suck on my neck, occasionally biting and drawing small little gasps from me here and there. Then, much to my surprise, she trails a hand down my middle and strokes my crotch through my boy shorts, and I moan. She giggles and kisses my lips softly.
"You like that huh?"
"Mhm," I moan, wanting more.
She gives me another innocent grin and reaches up under my shirt, running a finger over my bra-covered nipple. I get goosebumps and lean my head back, just a little, and she nibbles my throat lightly. As she does this, I make up my mind and decide to return the favor. I put my hand behind her head and pull her into a deep kiss, our tongues battling for dominance. A moan escapes her lips, and I almost just want to rip off the rest of her clothes and fuck her like there's no tomorrow. And apparently she has something similar in mind, because before I knew it she had my shirt halfway up and my bra halfway down, her mouth gently sucking on my now hard nipple. I leaned my head back again and moaned in ecstasy. Then I pull her back up and start to kiss her deeply, and she grabs my hand and places it on her thigh. I force myself up and push her against the wall and she groans. I start to unzip her pants, as she lifts up my shirt. I smile and play with her thong strings. She pulls off my shirt as I slide my hand down even further. She lets out a short moan. She grabs a hold of me tightly and lets out yet another moan. I give her another kiss on the neck as my fingers lightly stroke her wet pussy. A sharp intake. She pulls me in for yet another deep kiss, and this time I stroke a little harder.
"Are you ready?" I whisper. She nods. "I can't hear you.."
"Aye aye, Captain," she moans and bites my bottom lip.
I kiss her hard and then slowly insert my middle finger on my right hand. She moans loudly and leans her head back against the wall, her eyes rolling in the back of her head. I start slow at first, and then gradually get faster.
I swallow and insert my ring finger, pumping faster. She squirms and moans, then bites my neck really hard, making me moan. I insert a third finger, my index, and she almost screams. I keep it going for a little while, then go back to just stroking her. She moans in slight disappointment.
"Baby, why you gotta tease me like that?"
"I don't want this to go too fast," I whisper, kissing her yet again, this time a little more passionately, a little slower.
She finishes the kiss and says in a drop dead sexy voice, "My turn."
Before I know it she has me laying on the floor, half naked, while she kisses my neck and trails a finger down my middle and strokes me. I moan and close my eyes. And then she stops suddenly, and I open my eyes.
I blink. "What?"
And then I hear it. Click! I've been handcuffed to a chair leg that's attached to the floor. So totally didn't see that coming.
She's all over me. Kisses trailing down my stomach, stopping just above that tender region that needs to feel her hot, sweet mouth. She begins to play with my clit. I can feel her inside me. I can't help but to lean my head back and moan. We switch into 69 position. Her pussy tastes so good.
I do so. She screams in pleasure.
"Fart on me."
"Just fucking do it."
"Are you kidding me?"
All of a sudden, there's voices near the door. She quickly gets up and dresses herself, then hastily uncuffs me. I had no idea what was going on or what I should do, other than making myself look like I hadn't just been turned on to the max...if that was possible. She turns the lamp back on and steps outside of the room, leaving me there. I still didn't know what to do. I ended up sitting there for what feels like an eternity, when she finally comes back in.
"You are free to go, ma'am."
"Yes, follow me. I called a cab for you," she says with a wink.
"Umm, Okay. Thanks?."
I didn't realize until the moment the cab drove up that I didn't have any money to pay for the cab. I wasn't even sure what my fucking address was..Oh well. I guess I can just ditch the cab by the Taco Bell down the street from my house.
"Where We Going?"
"Uh, the Taco Bell on 2nd and Van Buren."
"Okay. So, how was your day?"
"Interesting, but not something I want to talk about," I say, remembering the feel of the guards lips on mine.
"That's cool. I had quite an interesting day myself. A few people played Ditch-A-Cab.."
He frowns. I feel kinda bad for him..but oh well. I feel bad for myself, even.
"Oh, Im Sorry."
"Yeah. Me too. People don't understand how much it sucks to be a cab driver."
I see the Taco Bell a little ways ahead, and decided to jump out right then and there. I'm not even sure why, but I just couldn't take it. I sprinted towards my house, and look back to see the cab driving the other way. I felt really bad, but I couldn't pay him even if I wanted to. As soon as I'm through my doorway, I go straight to the kitchen, make a sandwich, and sit down in front of the T.V. I turn on Cops. They're arresting a couple of drunk chicks who were driving under the influence... Oh wait..
Ugh, where am I? I think as I sit up. I groan as my arm pops back into place. I look around and see bars, and a desk, and it hits me in the face. Oh shit.. That's right! UGH! Fucking Taylor drove us home..only we never actually got home because she was too drunk and didn't realize it. And I was.. Oh my God.. Man I was so wasted! So wait..if we got pulled over..where the hell is Taylor?
"Excuse me Miss, but where's my friend? We were both in here last night..." I trailed off.
"I'm sorry, my shift just started. But..there's not record of anyone else in here but you. Are you Amy?"
I nod. "But that's not true, my friend Taylor was in here with me."
"What's her last name?"
"Hang on then, sweetie. Let me check, OK?"
I just nod.
"Nope, I'm sorry, but there's no record of a Taylor Kana being in jail yesterday or today."
"Whatever.. She must have been released earlier," I say, more to myself.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Can I leave? I mean, they only keep you here overnight for being under the influence, right? And I wasn't driving.."
"I'm sorry sweetie, but it says here that a Miss Amy Orchard was found driving under the influence on the 21st of November. That's you, correct?"
"Yeah, but I wasn't dri-"
"Susan, I'll take it from here," a young cop says, coming around the corner and unlocking my cell door.
"Oh alright, Jenny. But remember what the boss said last time yo-"
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him, now will it?" she says in this really gross innocent voice.
"Whatever you say. I didn't see a thing," Susan says. I'm confused at this point, and Jenny-the-cop motions for me to step on out.
"Susan, do me a favor and erase her record, will you?" Jenny says as she leads me to an interrogation room. What the fuck? I think to myself.
"Alright. But this is the last time, you hear? Just because you're so sexy..."
After I hear this I hear the sound of kissing. What the fuck? That's just so.. Oh my God I think. Lesbian cops?! And now I'm in the..oh shit oh shit oh SHIT!
"Hey, how ya doin' in there, Amy?" Jenny asks as she comes into the room and shuts and locks the door.
"Um, I think there's been a mistake. I wasn't driving-"
"Oh of course you weren't! Taylor was, we all know that."
My eyes are wide. "Wait, then why did she-"
"Sh, Love, sh," she purrs in my ear, and plants a soft kiss on my lips. "Now, you're going to be a good girl and let me have my fun..."
What do you think?
"Do I make you horny, baby? Do I make you randehhh?"
I love Austin Powers!!
Also, reviews would be greatly appreciated!
Spank You! ^_^