When Axl finds a note from Izzy.
Izzy sat back and admired the way his slender body moved his hips rocking in perfect time to the beat and the way his hair carelessly fell across his face as he screamed into the microphone, the beads of sweat dripping from his chest tempted him but he stayed placed on the amp and continued watching the flawless singer.
He wasn’t worried about the rest of the band catching him starring at Axl this time because he and Axl were practising and if one of the guys had walked in it wouldn’t have mattered that Izzy was gazed upon the singer’s movements, he loved days like this were Axl would wake him up at ridiculous hours of the morning and drag him into the back room because he’d had a idea for a song.
‘You could be mine, Yeah!’ Axl sung the last of the lyrics, panting with loss of breath he turned to Izzy.
Izzy shook his thoughts away and looked up at Axl who was starring at him, strains of his red hair stuck to his flushed cheeks and a thin line of sweat covered his chest.
‘Perfect.’ Izzy simply replied.
Axl stood silent for a minute catching his breath within the small room, reaching across to Steven’s drum kit he gripped the bottle of water and let the cool liquid disappear down his throat.
Izzy watched Axl stand there, head tilted back and the bottle to his lips, his posture seemed to stand perfect before Axl placed the bottle on the floor beside him. Axl glanced up and noticed Izzy starring intensely at him, a cocked eye brow Axl studied Izzy’s face unsure of why his friend was so into him he let out a little cough, catching Izzy’s attention.
He quickly looked up to see Axl’s face masked with complete confusion.
‘Sorry, lost in my own world.’ He lied, scared that Axl would find out what he really thought about the short tempered red head, what he dreamed about when he lay wide awake in bed at night.
Axl smiled and placed a small nod to the guitarist, walking over to where Izzy sat and took a seat along side him.
‘We’ll have to get the band together.’ Axl explained.
An hour or so had passed and Axl was now making his way into the kitchen searching for some kind of alcohol beverage, when his face twisted into confusion and panic.
‘What the fuck are you guy’s doing!?’ Axl demanded, storming his way to the pool table were Slash laid with what looked to be an outline marked with pen or some form of paint on his body.
‘Slash passed out.’ Steven shrugged, clearly they were drunk as Steven’s breath reeked of Beer and the smell of Vodka followed of Duff like perfume.
‘I see that!’ Axl pointed out. ‘Why is he drawn on?’ He continued.
Izzy sat tensed up on his bed with crazy thoughts running through his mind as he took another drag from his cigarette, he wondered how long he could go on living in the shadows because of a love he had towards the bands singer.
Burning out the remains of his burnt cigarette his hair locked around his fingers as he ran his hands through it, he was sure he was going insane slowly he was always good at keeping secrets, everybody came to him when they needed someone to listen not that he minded he found it comforting but it seemed he couldn’t keep his own little secret.
Grapping the cardboard box he slipped another cigarette between his lips and let his trembling hands light the chemical filled stick, letting the smoke swirl and dance in front of his eyes.
‘Were playing operation’ Duff beamed, a smile shaping his lips.
Axl glanced at Duff then at Steven and searched around Slash’s lifeless body.
‘Please.’ Axl sighed. ‘Tell me you don’t have knifes.’ Axl asked worried.
‘Nope.’ Steven shook his head. A sigh of relief escaped Axl’s mouth. ‘Just the pen.’
‘Where are your kidneys?’ Duff blankly spoke, starring into space.
Axl sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. ‘I need a drink.’ He told himself, walking away.
Izzy lay back on his bed the cigarette still placed perfectly between his lips, he had to tell Axl, he had too. But how? He was sure Axl would just laugh and tell him to lay off the drugs and that was the last thing he wanted, he was already pretending his heart wasn’t breaking he couldn’t bear to hear Axl laugh at his heartbreak.
A knock echoed the quiet room making Izzy jump, when he realised someone was at the door he cautiously got up and opened it.
‘Hey.’ Axl’s smiling face met his.
He felt his heart drop but smiled back and let the singer in.
‘Got a drink?’ Axl asked.
Izzy pointed to the corner where his tiny fridge stood, he usually kept any alcohol he didn’t want Slash drinking in there as he knew Slash wouldn’t come into his room. Axl walked over to the fridge and pulled out a Beer gesturing Izzy one, he simply shook his head and took a drag. Axl closed the fridge door and sat back down on Izzy’s bed.
Izzy wished Axl hadn’t came in not that he really minded, it was more the fact that to him Axl always seemed like the kind of guy to suss you out and figure out what you were thinking and the thought made him uncomfortable.
He looked away and pretended like he wasn’t even interested that Axl was sat on his bed, in his room but clearly that didn’t last long as Axl’s piercing eyes starred him down.
‘Something wrong?’ Axl’s voice made his body tense.
‘No.’ He replied, quickly avoiding conversation. When all he really wanted to do was stroke the singers face and gaze into those deep green eyes and tell him all he felt, all he dreamed, all he wanted for him and Axl. But the thought of rejection quickly shot that thought to the back of his mind, once again.
Izzy let out a sigh, he didn’t care at this point if Axl heard and noticed he really wasn’t okay, he was sick of hiding it and he knew of he couldn’t face it, he’d have to walk away.
Axl placed a hand upon Izzy’s shoulder before leaving the room and Izzy alone.
Izzy felt his heart crumble then and there, torn and ripped thrown against the cold cement.
‘I should have said something.’ He whispered.
But he was numb, he couldn’t face the pain or rejection even tho he had a chance of Axl running into his arms and telling him he loved him, he just couldn’t.
Izzy sat himself down and scribbled some words onto a piece of paper, tear stains marking the page as he wrote.
Grapping his smokes, his coat and a bag he headed out the back door.
Axl, Duff and Steven sat around the pool table drawing pointless markings on Slash’s body.
‘He’s going to kill us.’ Duff sighed, laughing a little.
‘He knows the punishment.’ Steven declared.
Axl placed the coloured marker down and headed to check on Izzy.
He reached his door but confusion soon wept over him as nothing was heard inside, pushing the door open the room filled with darkness Axl flicked on the light. Gazing around Izzy was nowhere to be seen, walking inside he gently closed the door behind him and let the quiet fall around him. Confused Axl searched his room, coming to his table he found a folded piece of paper with the word’s AXL written across it.
Taking a seat Axl un wrapped the unexpected note and started reading, soon his heart dropped and tears built up in his eyes.
‘But if someone really cared well they'd take the time to spare, a moment to try and understand, another one's despair. Remember in this game we call life, that no one said its fair’ He read out loud.
Hands trembling he continued on.
‘But if I call you out of habit, I'm out of love and I gotta have it. Would you give it to me, if I fit you needs.’
Axl’s cheeks now damp as tears streamed down them and fell onto the already stained paper, he just wanted to curl up and die, as he read the bottom of the page.
‘I love you, Axl Rose.’
Axl left Izzy's room and headed into the back where him and Izzy used to sit together and play, pulling out the paper, he started to sing what Izzy had written quietly to himself, a song that Axl would soon call 'Breakdown.' as thoughts of Izzy flooded his mind.