There was a knock on the door. It was Mikey.
“Gerard?” he asked peeking his head through the door.
“what is it Mikey?”
“I just wanted to know how your feeling.”
“oh is that all?” Mikey nodded stupidly “OH well then just come on in” the irritation was not slim in his voice. Mikey came in and sat down on the bed with Gerard.
“So how are you feeling” he asked with more curiosity than before.
“I don’t know Mikey, I just don’t know…” he sighed
“How do you not know how your feeling?”
“WELL Mikey how am I SUPPOSED to feel? Hmm?”
“I don’t know…” Mikey answered it a small voice
“yah see!” Gerard huffed “Part of me is mad, but part of me could care less what she did, and the part of me that’s mad wants her gone, but I don’t want her gone at the same time…”
“yeah” was all Mikey said, he figured to just let Gerard rant on and blow off some steam.
“I mean I love Jackie, I just don’t like what she’s become…hell maybe I don’t even love her, how am I supposed to know, would someone who loves someone else do that kind of shit? I don’t think so…but maybe I’m wrong…” Mikey decided to jump in at that comment
“No, your not wrong what she did to you is what’s wrong”
“But I did the same thing to her…”
“Mikey, your being biased” He got up and started to pace the floor “I mean maybe she was trying to get back at me”
“or maybe she’s changed and that’s who she is now”
“And who’s fault is that? Hmm my guess is uhh Tara…and someone cant just change like that, there’s still a trace of the old Jackie, and I intend on finding it and exploiting it until she realizes her real self…”
“well your gonna’ have to find her first” Mikey mumbled as he looked away.
“what?” Gerard immediately stopped pacing and focused all of his attention on what Mikey had just said.
“Tell me Mikey or so help me God I will kill you!”
“Jackie’s gone, she left”
“that’s not possible…she was gonna find some place to stay…and then…”
“Where was she gonna stay? We’re her only friends, and she’s got no money so it’s not like she can get a room anywhere”
“What about Tara?” Mikey just looked away looking for anything to help him change the subject, no such luck. “MIKEY what about Tara?” Gerard said through clenched teeth.
“Tara’s parents wouldn’t let her stay, they thought she was a bad influence on Tara, it kidna makes sense though…”
“what are you saying, Jackie’s a horrible person who taints everyone she knows? Tara’s parents don’t even know her…how could they think she’d be a bad influence…?”
“I never said that Gerard all I was saying is that she doesn’t have the same effect on everyone”
“how do you know all of this?”
“Umm cause I know her…?” Mikey said taking a shot in the dark
“no I mean how do you know she’s gone and didn’t find a place to stay?”
“she left a letter”. Gerard pushed past Mikey and ran to her room, in total denial. He figured this was all some kind of sick joke. He paused before opening the door to take a deep breath…he had no idea what was going to happen. Finally he opened the door to an empty room and almost fell. On the bed was a envelope, with “To Gerard, Love always Jacks” on the front. He carefully opened it and unfolded it shaking. It read…
I’m sorry about what happened, I had no intentions in hurting you. I know everyone says that, but it’s true. It’s hard for me to say why it happened, or how…I can’t really even remember it, It was all a blur, all impulse…and I know I can say sorry all I want, but its not going to make a difference so im just going to stop while im ahead.
You may be wondering where I am, or not. But I figure I’ll tell you just incase you are wondering…I couldn’t find anywhere to stay, cause I have no money and no other friends…I know right. I’m on my way to New York City, I had enough money for a bus ticket to get there, and I’m gonna stay with my cousin until I can get a job and buy my own place.
I really never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that. And maybe one day our paths will cross…but I wish you the best of luck on your journey through life.
Gerard lowered the letter took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.
“I’m going o find her” were his last words before leaving the room.