I slid into the bed opposite Bob. He'd been silent nearly all the way here and had only spoken when we'd pulled into the motel.
The bed's scratchy sheets were like thistles against my bare chest but I pulled them to my throat to warm me in the freezing room. Bob lay facing me, his eyes glassy and the skin cut from where he'd been rubbing at too dry away his tears. “She's never going to forgive us.”
His face was blank as he looked up at me. “I hope she will. We're always be round anyway, she'll forgive us in time and we'll be there when she does.” My eyes began to drop and I heard Bob's low grumble from behind closed eyes. “I hope your right Gerard, or I might just kill myself.”
I pulled the van up to the side-walk outside Ray's house and held my hand down on the horn. I brushed my hair back from my face and slid my sunglasses onto the top of my head to hold it in place.
The sun beat down on the trodden stone that lay outside my window and the birds flew from tree to tree. I turned the radio up and music blew from the speaker’s full volume. Whams Club Tropicana lifted my mood even higher. Nothing said summer like 80's pop and fake tan.
I checked my cell again. Only two texts from Lindsay. Nothing from Kat.
I'd text her a couple of times and called Mom’s but I'd had no reply and I'd been sent straight through to voice-mail. She hadn't called back either.
Lindsay had found out about what had happened and hadn't stopped texting and calling me. She wanted me back. She still loved me. I still loved her in sorts. But I wouldn't take her call until I'd seen or spoken to Kat. Not until I found out if I still had a future, would I call Lindsay and tell her I'd go back to her. One condition would be involved. I'd refuse to ever be part of her babies’ life. Her baby was about 2 weeks late so I was waiting to find out about the birth.
I watched the side-walk as Ray’s afro bounced along to the side of the van. I slid my sunglasses back on and he opened the passenger side door before sliding into the seat and pulling on his seatbelt. “Anything?” I turned the key in the ignition and the engine erupted into life. “Not yet. You?”
“Mikey said she's been round and they’re picking Simon up today. He’s going back to England.”
“He's going home?”Ray nodded as I turned the corner of his street and sped off to the studio. We'd been working on some stuff. Just me and Ray. I wanted to get my head sorted and this seemed perfect. It gave me a chance to sing it out and also had given me and Ray a chance to get our music back down to basics. Vocals and Guitar.
“Look Gerard,”I pulled into a McDonald's drive through.
“You want anything?” He shook his head and turned to face the stone wall outside. I ordered a coffee and drove back down to the studio. I'd been staying there but nobody knew. Bob had gone back to Chicago for a bit to get his flat sorted and then he'd be back. In fact his flight was due in today. I'd moved out of the motel and into the studio nearly the same hour Bob had left. It had stank something stupid in that motel room and I had been glad to get into the air conditioned studio. I packed my stuff away into the back of the van before I'd been picking Ray up or if I had to go to the supermarket.
I drove slowly back to the studio,hoping nobody had seen me leave earlier this morning, the lobby had been empty but you never could be sure of the security cameras. “I think we can finish the vocals on 'a wave goodbye' today, I think I'm ready.”
“Mmm,” Ray stared off somewhere distant and only murmured a response. His face was dark and his gaze puzzling. “Is something wrong?”
“hmm? No, just thinking. I, um, think we should re-write that chorus of 'forgive my prayer' it doesn't seem like it fits. Like it's not a part of the rest of the track. If you really want it to apologise to Kat for saying sorry so many times then it should be more personal.” Something was definitely wrong. Ray had basically finished the chorus himself, he was trying to divert my attention from his thoughts. And it wasn't working. “Yeh, okay, whatever.”
I pulled myself out of the front seat and waited for ray to get out as-well before locking the doors. The air was hot and it hung heavily down on us as we parked the car lot. Ray dragged his guitar from the storage cupboard as we entered the lobby and I signed us into the studio. “This package just arrived for you Mr Way.” Rita behind the desk handed me a weighty brown package. The stamp and official header showed me it was from my lawyer. Finally. “Thanks Rita.”
“Is that it then? The papers?” Ray dragged his guitar gently over the soft wooden flooring. I nodded. We'd all been counting down the days till these would arrive. I was finally going to get a divorce and this was it. The divorce papers.
I trailed along the corridor to the staircase. The deep red walls holed us in under the tunnel of brick. Records hung from the walls in shiny glass blocks. The gold records reflective surfaces screaming at us. Would it be as good as we wanted? Good enough to get a gold record? I ignored their mocking tone and flew up the first set of steps before tearing open the envelope. I scanned it quickly searching for the details and where I'd have to sign. My heart skipped a beat as I registered that this was it. All breaking off from my past. No more Lindsay. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and I grabbed the end of Ray's acoustic as he tried to wrestle it up the stairwell. We both sighed loudly as we reached the top and I pushed open the studio door. We collapsed into the airy room. Sun filtered through the windows, casting golden rays over the expensive equipment. And sat below the window? Ellie sat, neatly on the leather couch and my bed for the last couple of nights, her hands filled with scrunched tissues and her face pink with tears.
Sorry for the wait guys my internet crashed and i couldnt get it fixed for a week. thanks for reading, keep on reviewing ly kat xxx