Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Jamais Vu

Breakdown

by killxsmile 3 reviews

"When was the last time you talked to me? Seriously. I feel like I don't even know you."

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2009-07-20 - Updated: 2009-07-21 - 1072 words

1Ambiance
Author's Note: Still here. Don't worry.

THANK YOUS
somethingorother: Yes. The first step is admitting you have a problem. But where will Andy go from there?

Oh snap. I'l kill for some oreos & nutella right now.

tryingtohard_x: I know it's taken a while, but she's coming to her senses.

ash360: Mitchell Davis, you're too funny. When I was watching him and Kyle slapping each other, I thought it was the awesomest thing. Ever.

And I agree, we could all use friends like MJ.

F-A-S-D: Aww, thank you! It's nice to know that I was missed. As much as I love mibba, I've been on ficwad for almost 3 years. I could never turn my back on you. -insert me singing "The World Has It's Shine" here-

STORY STARTS HERE.

“You alright?” Jack asked as the guys took a break from practice.

“Yeah,” I replied, snapping out of my daze. “Why do you ask?”

“You just seem a little out of it,” he commented, with a look of concern spread across his face.

“I just have some stuff on my mind. No biggie,” I replied, giving him the biggest smile I could muster.

Then without warning, Alex came up from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What do you think of the new songs?” he asked.

“They’re good,” I replied, fake smile still plastered across my face. “It’s no wonder you guys got signed.”

In truth, however, I hadn’t been paying attention to a single thing they played. Instead, I was busy watching Alex and planning out how I was going to end things with him.

“Thanks, babe,” he said pulling away, slapping my ass, and heading toward the cooler.

After going through a 12-pack of Sprite and a family-sized bag of Doritos, the guys continued with practice. This time around, however, I made an effort to pay attention to the songs being played. It didn’t take long for me to notice that my comment from earlier still held true: they deserved to get signed.

Eventually the boys stepped away from their instruments and called it a night.

“Practice again next week!,” Zack called out as Alex and I made our way toward his car.

“Alright!” he yelled back.

On the drive home, Alex didn’t make an effort to make conversation and neither did I. Instead, we let his iPod do the talking for us. While “Yesterday’s Feelings” by the Used fittingly filled the silence, I thought about all that we’d been through in the past year—the fights, the fucks, the laughter, and everything between.

I’ve never been one to dwell on mistakes, but in this case, I think that would have been a good idea. Maybe then I would have realized how messed up Alex and I really were.

Still, if you asked me if I would change anything about how it played out, I probably wouldn’t. Everything happens for a reason, whether they’re shitty or not. I know it’s cliché, but if things hadn’t happened the way that they did, I wouldn’t be the person I am right now.

When Alex turned onto my street, I knew it was crunch time. If I didn’t end things before getting inside my house, it would probably be a while before I garnered up enough courage again.

He pulled up in front of my house and I took a deep breath.

“When was the last time you talked to me?” I asked turning toward him.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been together for about a year, and outside of parties and bedrooms, I feel like I don’t even know you.”

“I thought that you wanted to keep it that way.”

“I did…” I said, looking down. “But I can’t do it anymore.”

Alex let out a sigh turned his eyes to the floor.

“Then I don’t think we’re going to work anymore,” he honestly said. “…So I guess this is it then?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, unbuckling my seatbelt. “But it was fun while it lasted.”

He nodded.

“…Wait,” he said, almost inaudible, as I got out. “Can I at least get a proper goodbye?”

I let out a small sigh before slipping back into the car. He gently cupped my cheek in his hand before planting a soft kiss on my lips. It was easily the most genuine kiss we’d shared, which was ironic because we’d just broken up. He slowly pulled away and watched as I wordlessly stepped out of his car and quietly shut the door behind me.

“Good night, Andy.”

“Night, Alex.”

With that, he flashed a brief smile before driving off. Then while his car disappeared into the horizon, I walked to my house and let myself inside.

As I walked up to my bedroom, that’s when it really hit me. Alex and I were really finished. The fact seemed simple enough, but I had a hard time taking it all in.

‘Bittersweet’ was the only word that came close to describing my thoughts.

With a sigh, I grabbed a pack of Marlboros and a lighter from my desk. Smoking wasn’t a regular habit of mine, but every so often it helped me clear my head. After lighting the end, I laid down in bed and took a drag. While ribbons of smoke floated above me, I watched as shadows from passing cars danced across my ceiling.

Tired of silence, I took the remote to my iHome and set it to shuffle. Jesse Lacey’s voice spilled from my speakers, and it seemed perfectly fitting if you ask me.

I took another long drag as Me Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis continued bouncing off my walls.

I will lie awake,
lie for fun and fake the way I hold you,
let you fall for every empty word I say…


Soon enough, my cigarette was burnt down to the filter. With a sigh, I lazily got up and put it out on the ashtray next to my bed.

Just as I laid down again, my phone went off, signaling that I’d received a new text message.

party at my house this saturday. you in? xo, justine

To party or not to party.
That is the question.


+++++
So it's official.
Alex and Andrea are no more.
"What now?" you ask.
RATE & REVIEW and you'll find out.
;)
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