Mom Loves You
Kevin was nice enough to help my gimpy-self down the stairs and out to car. Brooke looked like a nervous wreck, not that I looked much better. “You ok?” I asked her once she sat down in the car. “What do you think?” she grumbled. “Got it Sunshine.” I said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes at me. “Sorry, just trying to brighten things up.” I mumbled and sat back down in my seat. It was silent for a few moments as Kevin put some things in the trunk. I was almost worried that she was seriously mad at me. “It’s ok.” I heard her whisper.
The drive to the airport was quiet and uncomfortable. When we got the to the airport it was so odd seeing all these happy people. Some happy about getting away from home, some happy about being or going home, and some just happy to be around people. I wished that this was a happy trip too, but I knew that it was far from a happy trip. The scene reminded me of the beginning of “Love Actually” and I was sad that no matter how heart-warming that movie was, my life was no where near that movie.
We slowly boarded the plane and I had to admit that I was happy that we at least got first class. Honestly, I had no idea why we didn’t just take the private jet, but that was just me. The plane took off and it was about twenty minutes into the flight when I felt Brooke grab my hand; I glanced over at her. There was worry swirling in her eyes and I badly wished that I could say something meaningful to comfort her. It was odd that now, when I needed them, I couldn’t think of my usual comforting words. Instead of speaking, I just nodded. Brooke smiled half-heartedly. “Please buckle you seat belts.” the fake voice said from the intercom. “We’ll be landing soon.” it finished. Once we landed it would only be three hours away from home…
Kevin was the one that drove, because neither Brooke or me could’ve driven this early. “So…are we going to drive for three hours and not listen to music or what?” I asked from the backseat. Brooke turned the radio knob and music came on. It took us awhile to find a radio station that we wanted, but at last we did. Even with music playing I felt no comfort. I had this feeling that Joanne would slightly blame this on me, because I was the one that had started this whole Jonas Brother thing. Although I knew that Brooke had to be a gazillion times more stressed than I was, it didn’t take away from the stress that I was feeling.
I found myself looking out the window after about two hours and recognizing things. Home was getting closer. My eyes glanced up to the front seat to find Kevin and Brooke holding hands. Neither one of them were looking at each other, but the way that their hands seemed to cling together said it all. I looked down, and felt my head throb. Guilt started sinking in; I felt like I should’ve stopped all of this, but then again, how could I have stopped it? My heart knew that there was nothing I could’ve done to stop this from happening, but my head just wouldn’t let it go.
“We’re almost there.” Kevin announced braking my thoughts as I looked up from the floorboard. “Almost there…almost there” the words echoed in my head. Brooke glanced quickly back at me; there was nothing that would stop us from telling her mom and mine-absolutely nothing.
My stomach rolled as Brooke told which turns to take down the beaten back-road that she lived on. A couple dogs barked as we pulled in beside a grey vehicle. Brooke looked as though she was going to pass out; her face was pale, her eyes seemed worried, and she could barely make herself walk. I heard Kevin take a deep breath as we stepped up to the front door. His hand knocked twice on it. Joanne opened it, and a surprised look formed on her face. “Hey Mom.” Brooke attempted to smile. “Hey!” Joanne hugged both of us girls and then hugged Kevin.
I heard the arguing of who I assumed were the voices of eight year old RaeLeigh and twelve year old Erin. “I wasn’t expecting you! Why did you call me and tell me you were coming down?” Joanne cleared off the table and we sat down. “Well, we came here to tell you something.” I spoke first; breaking the ice. “Tell me something?” I watched as the excitement in Joanne’s face dissipated. “Yea…Mom something pretty important.” Brooke looked down at her hands. “Well one of you better tell me before I have a heart attack.” she looked back and forth between Brooke and I, but never at Kevin. I just assumed that she wanted the explanation from one of her girls. Brooke looked over at me, her eyes were pleading for me to talk and not her. I hated myself for doing it, but I shook my head no. This was not my battle. “Mom…I’m…Kevin and I are…we…are…uh…well you see…” she mumbled out and then sighed. “Mom, I’m pregnant.” Brooke’s hands shook a little.
Suddenly everything got quiet; not even RaeLeigh or Erin were fighting in the other room. I wondered if they had been eavesdropping. Joanne’s eyes fell from Brooke’s face and to the wall. “Mam, I can promise you that this wasn’t meant to happen. We had planned on waiting.” Kevin spoke. Once again it was quiet. None of us dared to talk, and by now I was positive that RaeLeigh and Erin were eavesdropping. I could hear my own heartbeat, and I wasn’t quite sure how I could break the silence. Joanne got up from her chair and walked upstairs. My eyes went over to Brooke. “Are you ok?” I asked her softly. “Uh-huh.” her voice quivered. Kevin’s arms pulled her into an embrace. Brooke pushed him away, “I’m going to go talk to Mom.” she stated and walked upstairs.
RaeLeigh and Erin walked around the corner. “What’s going on?” RaeLeigh’s high-pitched voice asked. “And why is that guy the Brooke is obsessed with here?” Erin finished her younger sister’s question. “Well we came here to tell your mom something important.” Kevin answered as simply as he possibly could. “What was so important?” Erin demanded. I knew that she would never let it go until I told her. “Girls, Brooke is…she’s having a baby.” I spoke the truth. Rae tilted her head for a moment and then something struck her, “So does this mean that I’m going to be an aunt?” she asked wide-eyed. “Yea…” I nodded. I could tell that Erin was dumbstruck. She knew what that meant and she didn’t look so happy about it. Erin glared over at Kevin and then dragged Rae back into her room.
“Did she really just glare at me?” Kevin leaned over and whispered. “Uh-huh.” I looked over at him. “Aubrey, you don’t even realize how bad I feel.” he admitted. “No, I do. Kevin, I know better than to think that you guys did this intentionally.” I hugged him. “Thanks, you’re going to be a great sister-in-law.” he commented. “Who says I’m going to marry that dumb brother of yours?” I asked in a cocky tone. “Is that even a real question?” he glanced over at me. “No…not really.” I shook my head. Now that I was thinking about it, one day I really would be Kevin’s sister-in-law…That just seemed so weird.
Kevin and I sat quietly, or it was quiet at first, until some yelling started echoing throughout the house. I walked into Erin’s room, where the girls were playing. “Hey, why don’t we go outside for a bit?” I stood in the door frame. “Ok.” RaeLeigh answered, and Erin slowly followed. Once we were outside I felt a little better; I really didn’t want for the girls to be eavesdropping on Brooke and Joanne’s conversation…or argument…or whatever it was. Charlie, Brooke’s dog, came up to us and started barking. “Oh Char.” I patted his back. Kevin and I petted Charlie, while the girls ran around and played. I was really hoping that everything was going well with Brooke; the last thing that girl needed was her own family to walk out on her.
For some reason the stairs seemed so much harder to walk up than they used too. Behind the corner of the top of the stairs sat my mom. “Mom?” I looked at her as she sobbed quietly. My legs folded as I sat down beside her. “I’m so sorry.” I bit my cheek, not wanted to cry. “I…I didn’t want to disappoint you.” a tear fell. “No baby, don’t be sorry. I…” another sob, “I just so badly wanted to best for you. I know that you must’ve sometimes thought that I didn’t care or that you weren’t important, but it’s not true.” she looked over at me with tear-filled eyes. She was right, I had thought about a billion times that I wasn’t important to her, and that my sisters were so much more to her than I was. “It’s ok Mom.” my words were only to make her feel better. “No, it wasn’t. I’m sure that you felt like I cared about the other two girls more, but I didn’t. Brooke, you were my first baby-girl; my strong little angel.” her lips shook a little. “I always knew that you could handle anything that you had to; you were stubborn and strong, and I was always just a little jealous of that.” she took in a breath, “Brooke, it was never that you didn’t matter, it was that I knew you could take care of yourself and be strong.” she touched my cheek.
My mom had never told me those things…ever. I felt myself start crying. “But I wasn’t, Mom! I needed you to listen to me, and not just ignore me!” I admitted. “You should’ve known that I needed you too!” I could barely breath through the tears. “You never listened to my opinion, and you never asked me if I was ok with anything!” I was so angry, but at the same time relieved. “And now you have the guts to get mad at me for having a child with the man that I love, even if I am only sixteen!” by now I was almost shouting, and for the first time in my life I felt like she was really listening. “I just wanted you to have it better than me! Damn it Brooke, I wanted you to go out there and be better than the rest! You were special and I knew you could do it!” the words seem to just slip from her mouth. “Y-You…you believed in…me?” my voice quieted. “Of course I did, how could I not?” she asked rhetorically. Mom touched my cheek softly and looked in my eyes for a moment.
For a couple of seconds it was silent, and then Mom hugged me tightly. I had never felt all that close to her, in the sense that I could openly talk to her, but there was something different. “I’ll always be there, no matter when or what is happening, I’ll be there.” she whispered in my ear. “Thanks Mom…” I whispered back softly. “I love you so much.” she squeezed me tightly. “I love you too, Mom.” I smiled to myself. I couldn’t believe that everything that Mom said was how she really felt, but I knew that she wasn’t lying, there was just something in her voice that was truthful.