For Kyle the line between Addy and Addison blurs.
Author: Allison Wonderland
Rating: R, I guess.
Summary: For Kyle the line between Addy and Addison blurs a little.
Warning(s): Incest, sex with a minor, transgender issues, language, and I’m not sure but you maybe could consider this ageplay. I think it’s kind of borderline since Addison is only thirteen anyway. So anyway, if you’re easily disturbed, DO NOT read this.
Series: Feel That Fire
Note(s): You really need to read Shopping before you read this. It explains the whole Addison/Addy thing better than I can explain it in one sentence here. I don’t think I like this story. I think the change in their relationship should have happened differently but I’m not sure how and anyway, I’ve already written it this way.
“Friday evening. Cocktails at seven and dinner at sever-thirty,” Mackenzie Smith clairified. She listened for a moment. “How old is your daughter? Oh, that’s quite all right. My youngest son will be fourteen in a week. I’m sure they can keep one another entertained.” Privately she was not sure at all. Her youngest son Addison would be fourteen in a week but he barely looked eleven or twelve. He was tiny and skinny and so much shyer than the other boys his age but the pediatrician had assured her that would all change with puberty – which he had yet to show any sign of. Her Addison preferred books to sports and was happiest curled up in one of the overstuffed chairs in the family room with a piece of classic literature. His older brother Kyle affectionately – most of the time – called him a geek. Kyle, at eighteen, had recently graduated high school. He had already made it plain that he would not be attending college that fall and had instead chosen to work at Dixie Calhoun’s garage, further allowing his obsession with anything with a motor and four tires to take over his life. Sometimes she thought if she could combine her two boys – Addison’s brain and almost too pretty for a boy face with Kyle’s physical strength and drive to prove himself as a man – she might have one perfect son. “I’ll see you then,” she said and hung up the phone a moment later.
Now to tell her family they were having the new neighbors – the Gilberts from Greenbrook, Ohio – over for drinks and dinner Friday evening. Her new husband Stefan would have no problem with it. His daughter – the daughter Mackenzie had always wanted and now finally had – would be no problem. Elena was only eight years old and so obedient, nothing like those boys from Mackenzie’s first marriage. Kyle would undoubtedly find some excuse to stay late at the garage and she would be lucky if Addison spoke a single word all evening without his brother there to gently prod him into speaking at appropriate intervals.
Elena was in the kitchen with Momma.
Addison had offered to help but he had been shooed away, informed that the kitchen was for girls and his place was to stay out of the way. He had to remind himself that Momma did not know about Addy, that no one knew about Addy but Kyle.
Elena was in the kitchen with Momma.
That meant she would not see him sitting backward on the couch on his knees with his thumb in his mouth and run to tattle. He folded his right arm atop the back of the middle couch cushion and rested his chin on it with his left thumb still in his mouth. He stared out the big etched glass window on the door.
They were all there.
Mrs. Peters’ sixteen cats were all out on the porch across the street. The Browns’ three elementary school age children were in their fenced in yard. There was no sign of the big black pickup truck or its driver – Addison’s brother Kyle. Kyle should be home at any time and Addison needed his brother. When his brother was there everything was okay because Kyle took care of him. Three – almost four – years ago when their father had finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer their mother had been too grief stricken to take care of ten year old Addison. It had been Kyle who had met him after school, fed him, bathed him, put him to bed, been there when he had woken up in the night shrieking ‘daddydaddydaddy, had held him, bathed him again, dressed him in dry clothes, and sang ‘the pretty ponies song’ to him countless times to get him back to sleep. Things had gone on that way for several months. Needless to say Addison had developed an attachment to his brother. Momma had a little girl now – a real little girl like Addy would never be – and once again she scarcely noticed Addison. Kyle had – without either of them realizing it – once again taken over the role of Addison’s primary caretaker. And Addison needed his brother now. There were new people coming over tonight, the new neighbors down the street, and he was always nervous when meeting new people.
Addison ducked his head to rub his eyes and when he looked up again the familiar black pickup truck was already parked in the driveway. His nervousness was not enough to keep him from wriggling excitedly as his brother climbed out and headed for the house.
Kyle was met – or perhaps assaulted might be a better term – by a pair of big brown sad puppy dog eyes the moment he walked in the front door. Those eyes could only belong to Addison. “Hey, kid,” he said, ruffling his brother’s hair. “What’s up?”
“Momma’s having a party,” he pouted.
“Ah, damn. That tonight?” Kyle asked. He hated his mother’s dinner parties. There was nothing worse than having to sit around making small talk with his mother’s friends and avoiding the advances of their daughters who saw him as the dangerous bad boy sort. His evening would be better spent driving Addy out to the old Civil War cemetery and making love to her in the bed of his truck until she could not sit comfortably on the way home. He was sure Addy – and by extension Addison – felt the same way.
Addison nodded silently in answer to his brother’s question.
Kyle sighed. He might hate his mother’s dinner parties but Addison dreaded them. The younger brother was painfully shy around anyone he did not know well. New neighbors he had never met coming for dinner and most likely asking all the questions adults asked children – school, summer plans, favorite hobbies all included – and thinking he was strange when he answered that he was not playing any sports and his favorite hobby was reading Jane Austen. To make matters worse they were bringing a girl Addison’s age. A week before Kyle’s fourteenth birthday his favorite pastime had been making out with Josie McAvoy in her treehouse and trying to get his hands on her boobs. Addison was four days from being fourteen and girls terrified him. “Yeah,” Kyle said finally, then, “all right,” and “fuck it. I need a shower.” Addison made a sort of whimpering sound and Kyle took pity on him. “Ya wanna come upstairs with me?”
Addison gave another silent nod. He studied his brother for a moment. Then he held up his arms in Kyle’s direction.
Addy talked constantly. She never shut up. There were times when her chatter got a little annoying. But Addison was shy and quiet even around his family. Still somehow Kyle always knew what he wanted. He lifted his brother up over the back of the couch and stood him on his feet. A little giggle escaped Addison and when his feet hit the floor he did not look quite so hopeless anymore. “Ya feel better?” Kyle asked. It was amazing how a little attention could bring out a whole new Addison.
Instead of answering Addison reached up and ran a hand over the stubble on his older brother’s face. “Can I help you shave?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” Kyle said as he started up the stairs, “how long till dinner?”
“Momma said cocktails at seven and dinner at seven thirty.”
“So that’s two hours-“
“Can I?” Addison persisted.
“Yeah, whatever.” Kyle did not see why helping him shave was so fascinating. When Addison finally started shaving himself he was not going to like it. If Addison ever started shaving. There were drugs out now that would stop transgender kids from going through puberty or halt it or whatever. Kyle had no idea how it worked but Addy had given him a long drawn out explanation about how the changes in Addison’s body that would eventually turn him into the man he did not want to be were caused by a hormone. The first drug would prevent his body from creating it, in effect keeping him a child until he was ready to take another hormone that would give him a more feminine appearance though it would do nothing about his genetalia.
That had been a strange conversation ending with, “and I’m gonna have boobs, Kyle! Real ones!” Fortunately it had been Addy, not Addison who had made that statement. But there was a problem with getting Addy the drugs she needed. On the black market a few months worth could cost as much as the 1962 Corvette C2 Kyle wanted so badly. Obtained legally the insurance from their mother’s real estate agent job would probably pay for them but that meant telling Momma about Addison’s condition. And Momma with all of her southern Baptist beliefs was not an open-minded person.
Kyle pushed open his bedroom door. “Sit down and watch TV or somethin’ till I’m out of the shower.” Then something else occurred to him. “Ya need a bath too, doncha?” he asked.
“You had one yet?”
“No.” The younger boy brightened suddenly. “Can I come in with you?”
“No,” Kyle told him. “Course not.” If Momma happened to come upstairs and catch them in the shower together…
Well, come to think of it, it probably wouldn’t be that strange because they had always taken their baths together when they were younger. Taking care of Addison was Kyle’s one and only household chore now that Stefan and Momma were married. It was going to be up to him to make his brother presentable at dinner tonight. Getting the two of them showered at the same time would be easier than showering, shaving, and then giving Addison his bath. “Well, okay,” he reconsidered, “but Addy better not come out and pull any funny shit.” They had showered together a few times when Addison was Addy and it hadn’t mattered then because Momma and Stefan and Elena had been out for the day. But showering with Addy was one thing and showering with Addison was something else entirely.
“I won’t! I’ll be good!”
“Are ya sure?” Despite Addison’s insistence Kyle was still unsure. There had been a couple of times recently when Kyle had been giving Addison his bath or putting him to bed that Addison had tried to kiss him the same way he did when he was Addy. Kyle knew it was ridiculous, particularly when Addison and Addy were technically the same person but there was no way he was doing the same things he did with Addy – his girlfriend - with Addison – his innocent little brother. Kyle had tried to explain his reasoning to Addison but he was not sure how much his brother had comprehended.
“Yes!” He sounded way too happy but Kyle was sure no one had given him any attention today and Addison was probably just excited because his older brother was paying attention to him.
Kyle laughed. “Yeah, I reckon it’d be alright,” he said.
Addison bounced – almost like Addy – into the bathroom that connected Kyle’s room with his own. He had wriggled out of his tee shirt before his brother had time to think that a shower with an excited Addison – an excited naked Addison – might not be a good idea because when they were alone he had a tendancy to turn into Addy at any given moment. When Addy got excited she was like an octopus with her hands in places Addison’s hands didn’t belong. “Come on, Kyle,” Addison whined.
Kyle laughed again as he stood up and stretched. He watched his brother shimmy out of his shorts and underwear and knew suddenly that this was a bad idea. Kyle had never had trouble keeping Addy and Addison separate in his head. Addy was his girlfriend and Addison was his brother. Addy had poise, confidence, and those cute little dresses from the Goodwill store. Addison was shy and skinny as a stick with a face too pretty for a boy. He had never had trouble being attracted to Addison even though he and Addy were technically the same person and Kyle knew that skinny little body inside and out. There had been nights he had made love to Addy out in the Civil War cemetery until neither of them could walk quite right then come home to give Addison a bath before putting him to bed. All those times he had never wanted to fuck Addison. Kyle supposed this time it must be because he planned to take Addy out tonight and presented with the same body he could not help thinking about it as ‘Addy.’
But he had promised Addison a shower. Kyle willed his downstairs brain to behave itself and followed his brother into the bathroom. First he adjusted the shower to that perfect not hot but not cold temperature – the only one they could agree on because Addison liked his bath cold as ice and Kyle preferred boiling hot. “Go on and get in,” he said.
“But –“ Addison started to protest.
“Do what you’re told, Addison,” Kyle cut him a little more harshly than he had intended to. “I ain’t got time to mess with ya now.” Kyle pulled his shirt over his head and, thus distracted, missed the look of distress that passed over Addison’s face.
Momma yelled at Addison, especially when she came to wake him up for school and his bed was wet but he was used to that. Stefan ignored him but he had come to expect that too. But Kyle never yelled and he always had his brother’s full attention. This was new and Addison didn’t like it. But he had no idea how to convey that feeling so, with tears in his eyes, he obediently stepped into the shower.
Kyle – still oblivious – knew what the bathroom floor would look like once they were finished. It was wet enough when he helped Addison with his bath at night but with both of them in the shower it was likely to be worse. He took several dirty towels from the basket and spread them out on the floor in front of the shower. They would soak up most of the excess water that got on the floor and Kyle would have less to clean up later. He took clean towels out of the closet and placed them on the closed toilet seat within easy reach. Then he stepped into the shower with his brother.
Which was weird because while Kyle was used to helping Addison with his bath and getting dressed they had not been naked together in a long time, at least not when Addison was still Addison.
But Kyle need not have worried about anything unusual happening with his brother. Addison stood in the shower stall, arms wrapped around himself and head down as he watched the water swirl away down the drain. Kyle would have sworn he was crying but it could have been the water from the shower dripping down his face. “Hey.” Kyle placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Addison let out a surprised sob and spun around quickly. His feet slipped on the bottom of the shower and he slid right into Kyle’s arms. Another little whimpery sob escaped him and his fingers clutched at Kyle’s upper arms even as he did his best to hide his face against his brother’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed.
“Sorry for what?” Kyle asked. What had Addison done this time?
“What you yelled at me for.”
“I didn’t-“ Kyle began before realizing that he had. “I ain’t mad at ya, Addison. Ya didn’t do nothin’. I’m just…I dunno. Tired I reckon.” His arms came up and around his brother, hugging the younger boy to him. Addison was shaking and that never bodes well. “Then Momma had to go and have this damn dinner party and I forgot about it and was gonna see if Addy wanted to go to the movies.”
Addison sniffled. “Addy wants a movie and McDonalds and ice cream.”
Kyle’s hands rubbed Addison’s back and he could feel his brother beginning to calm down. “You tell Addy I’ll take her to the matinee tomorrow since I don’t gotta work.” Addison made a content little noise into his brother’s chest. He relaxed further in Kyle’s arms and his thumb crept into his mouth. Kyle didn’t mind. He thought it was kind of cute. “Hey,” he said, “ya ain’t fallin’ asleep on me, are ya?”
Addison’s thumb slipped out of his mouth as he tipped his head back to look at Kyle with big brown eyes. Addy’s eyes. Before Kyle knew what he was doing he leaned down and pressed his lips to his brother’s.