Kid Flash thinks the Titans need to be bit more diverse.
Warning: Humor, drabble, and a little moren' a bit of slash.
Notes: Comicverse. I'm slowly warming up to Kid Flash. I still think his name and costume are dorky as hell, but he's still Impulse and I can't help liking him.
"We need to have sex."
Which couldn't have been what he heard. Robin looked up from his computer and stared hard at Bart. The speedster sat calmly on the coffee table looking as serene as anyone who blurred every few seconds could.
Too serene. Robin felt a sense of dread creep over him. Hoping futilely he could stop whatever disaster was about to be dropped on him he asked, "Huh?"
"Sex," Bart repeated. Drawing out the word like he was explaining a rather complex formula to an idiot. "We need to have sex. With each other."
Ok, so he hadn't heard wrong. Robin shut down his lap top and focused his attention on Bart. He suspected he was in for a long and somewhat confusing explanation. "Why?"
"Because it's our duty," Bart held one hand up forestalling Robin's next question. "Let me finish. We're heroes, everyone looks up to us to save them. Maybe not everyone, that's too general, but most of the kids and teens in the world do. To them we're not just heroes we're role models. People they base their lives and reactions to the world off of."
"Yes?" Robin reluctantly prompted. He had an idea where this was going, but his mind was reluctant to travel that thought process.
"We need to support all the kids that look up to us," Bart looked completely serious. He'd obviously thought long and hard on this. "I mean we already inspire a lot of people as we are. Girls, pagans, orphans. We're pretty diverse just like everyone who looks up to us, but we don't have anyone who is openly gay. We need to show them that there is nothing wrong with being gay. That's why you and I need to have sex."
"Ok," Robin tapped his chin and frowned. "I understand where you're coming from, but who says we aren't already? Kon doesn't really care about gender and has said so in many of his interviews. Cassie might not come from Themyscira but not many people know that, and it's widely known that there are no men there."
Bart nodded, had been nodding, "Yes, but as far as the public is concerned those are just rumors and aren't fact. Kon hasn't given out any interviews since he got a secret identity, and they stopped asking him about his preferences long before that. All of his widely publicized interviews where deliberately worded to lead him to answer with women. No one believes the other interviews are true because of that."
Robin nodded. The combined efforts of Cadmus and Kon's manager had effectively buried what they considered a flaw in the clone. "And Cassie?"
"More rumors," Bart's hands blurred in a dismissive gesture. "No ones ever been to Themyscira to confirm their suspicions so that can be brushed aside. Besides most of the teens that look up to us know where Cassie is from."
"Hm," Good points. Robin thought on it a bit. "Well, you always have Kory and Gar. You know she is very open about sex in general. No one could miss that. And there were those pictures of Gar and a guy last year."
"Yeah, but they're adults," Bart shrugged. "I know Gar isn't much older than us but they're the old Titans. The people most teen's parents looked up to. Which makes them harder to identify with."
Which put Raven and Cyborg out of the running as well. "Ok, that just leaves the four of us. So why does it have to be you and me?"
"Because Kon and Cassie are still trying to make a go at dating each other," Bart grinned. "I don't think it would be productive for me to ask one of them to be openly gay. So that just leaves you and me."
Completely logical and intelligent, but the whole plan still seemed like something Impulse would do. Robin hid a faint smile behind one hand and pretended he was seriously considering something. "Why does it have to be both of us? We could get away with just one of us being gay and having a boyfriend who isn't a superhero."
"Yes, but then people would always wonder if it was true. A boyfriend who isn't a superhero wouldn't been seen or could be interviewed. As soon as it was announced everyone would forget it. Then we'd have a gay person no one would acknowledge as being gay because he doesn't act gay or anything. We need to have two active members of the Titans in an open and serious relationship that way no one can ignore it or pass it off as a rumor. That's why you and I need to have sex. Now."
Robin closed his eyes and did not laugh. "Yes, that does make sense. Except for one thing."
Bart blurred around the room before returning. "What?"
"I don't do publicity," Robin said.
"Oh," Bart stilled for a fraction of a second before his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I forgot about that."
"It was a good plan," Robin consoled.
"Yeah, it was," Bart said sadly. He looked up suddenly. "But we can still have sex, right?"