Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu Yu Hakusho

It Ends Tonight

by SereneShadow 0 Reviews

Hiei is tired of being tied down, but cannot bring himself to cut his bindings. Will he have them cut for him? Divergent from Third Eye Blind. Songfic to the All-American Rejects' song of the same ...

Category: Yu Yu Hakusho - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst - Characters: Hiei - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2009/08/28 - Updated: 2009/08/29 - 1329 words - Complete

It Ends Tonight

Hiei's eyes scanned the horizon, his hands folded in his lap. Why the hell was this so difficult? It was like nothing he'd felt before. Not just a yearning to belong as he'd had when he'd been abandoned and hated, not just a sense of longing when he'd met Yukina but felt so far from her. Now, it was some sort of confusion topped with anger. Kili made his life so confusing. He couldn't tell how he was feeling, except that he wasn't happy. In fact, he couldn't remember ever being less happy in his life.

What was it? That was his major problem. He didn't know why he hated this so much. It was some sort of paradox in which he suffered...but he couldn't quite say why. Perhaps it was the loss of freedom he'd come across. The sun was setting off the edge of the ocean, and the reflection was beautiful. But Hiei did not appreciate the beauty, being stuck inside his own head.

This beach was special to them. He'd comforted her here; laughed with her here. So why was he sitting around here? Why was he placing himself where he could be intentionally hurt? He didn't know. But something was amiss in his paradise. Something wasn't right.

Your subtleties—they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all their wants, and all their needs
All I don't want to need at all.


Being with Kili was so hard. She was vague, and he couldn't speak. She was smothering him, and he couldn't breathe. Maybe it was that they spent too much time together, or maybe it was that they just weren't meant to be. This scared Hiei, because Kili had been his rock for so long. She'd been there when no one else had, and he was certain he'd never find someone else. Anyone else...which left him alone once again.

This fear, this fear of being alone again, had kept them together for so long, and he wondered just how long it would allow them to argue and fight and make each other miserable. Sure, in the beginning, it had been amazing. She'd understood him like no one else, and comforted him, and he'd done the same for her. But now...where was that? Where was the love they'd had? Gone, he assumed. And perhaps he couldn't take anymore of it.

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight.


She was at her house now, probably crying over old pictures of them. She was intense. Her emotions got the best of her and she often did or said things she later regretted.
But this regret did not make up for the wounds she caused, which never fully healed. When he thought of her, alone in her house, his heart pined to go and comfort her, because it was the natural thing to do.

But then he felt a surge of anger, a surge of guilt, that a mere human had allowed him to be so weak. And she made him feel insignificant, as well. There was an emotional damage in this relationship that he couldn't repair, and she couldn't erase. So maybe he'd leave and not come back. Maybe it would be all over tonight.

A falling star, at least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain.


She was so inhibited and humane. He felt so suffocated, so closed in and chained up. He was sick of her and her helplessness but refusal to allow him to help. Things were so jaded these days, and he wasn't able to just up and leave if he wanted. Never would he be allowed to go where he wanted and do what he wanted. So, what was more important to him: his pride and freedom, or the feeling that he wasn't alone—but pain came with that? And the comfort of one human girl wasn't even on the list?

She had given him a conscience; that was for sure. But, he decided, tonight is the night. And he would decide on his own. Kili, for once, had absolutely no say in his decision, and with that, he was glad.

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow.


Really, it all came down to what he could handle. If he could handle staying here with her, forever, or if he could handle being alone again. That dark place in his soul from all those years alone was begging him not to return; to stay away and be with her, even if he was miserable. But his current pain was too much. And he'd made his decision.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little inside, we'll make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight, it ends tonight.


As soon as he thought about it, he felt an immense relief. The thought wasn't scary or even foreboding; instead, it was free and welcoming. He could be his own man now, with no one to live for, and no one to answer to. He was free, and this was such a liberating feeling that he almost smiled.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side.
It's my fault when you're blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes.
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know.


But how to tell her? She might kill herself if he did it the wrong way, but he couldn't just walk up and say, "I'm leaving you." She would want something special; something to remember, even through her pain. He felt a twinge of guilt at the mental image of her crying into her pillow, alone.

But then, he remembered that he was free now. He had broken down the imprisoning walls that she'd helped to create, and you know what? He wasn't so sure she'd miss him. Quickly, he ran to Kili, determined. Tonight it was over.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little inside, we'll make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight, it ends...


Kili sat in her living room, angry and ready to hit someone. She was so tired of Hiei and his shit. She wanted to break up with him, but wasn't sure about him. What if he killed himself? She got the feeling that he wasn't exactly chipper either, but she didn't know if he was thinking about breaking up with her.

What if he wasn't? Even if she no longer harbored feelings for the demon, she couldn't see him in pain or hurt. She then heard the door opening and turned to face whoever was coming in. She stood a few feet from Hiei, their eyes staring each other down. But he looked happier than he had in days.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little inside, we'll make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight, it ends tonight.


Hiei walked forward to a stunned Kili, put his hands on the sides of her head, and kissed her smoothly. Kili hadn't been kissed by him like that in months, and her breath was literally snatched away. He pulled away from her face and smiled.

She smiled endearingly, but they both knew what the other was thinking. Kili now leaned in and kissed Hiei, while saying, "Wanna break up?"

He kissed her back and said, almost comically, "Yes."

Tonight, inside.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight.
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