Real magic comes to Hogwarts
A/N2: Warning, like most of my stuff, this is particularly silly, and probably should not be read, by anyone at any time. Ever. In fact allowing your children to read this is most likely classified as child abuse in most states. But then if you’ve ever read any of my stuff, you already know that.
If Wishes were Fishes
A Harry Potter Adventure
The last trace of steam evaporated in the autumn air. The train rounded a corner. Harry's hand was still raised in farewell.
"He'll be alright," murmured Ginny.
As Harry looked at her, he lowered his hand absentmindedly and touched the lightning scar on his forehead. "I know he will."
The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.
The tiny pink haired woman closed the book thoughtfully. “Well, that seemed… abrupt.
“Abrupt?” The brown haired boy wearing a pink hat asked incredulously. “That made absolutely no sense. After spending months in a tent with Hermione, he marries Ginny? He named his kid after the dink that was always picking on him? What the heck?”
“I liked Ron.” Cosmo said removing his floating crowny-thing so as to scratch at his thicket of green hair. “He seemed so balanced and smart.”
Wanda and Timmy just shared a look and shrugged.
“And Hermione married Ron? The nose to the grindstone bookworm married to the king of the slackers? That’s insane, that would be like Trixie Tang marrying…. Marrying…”
“You?” Cosmo suggested helpfully.
“Well, that’s the way the story goes Sport.” Wanda sighed, sharing the feeling of let down that the final book had inspired. “Want to read Goblet of Fire again; we all really liked that one.”
“No. I want to stop Harry from being so stupid.”
“He did the best he could Timmy.” Cosmo noted as he floated by the bed again. “I mean, he’s no Ron…”
“Timmy,” Wanda said in her ‘I’m very concerned about you and about to explain why you’re being stupid’ voice. “The magic of the Harry Potter world is very different than ours, much more limited, and…”
“Don’t care.” The youngest Turner said. “I wish I had a wand that would let me do magic”
“Ok, done!” Cosmos said waving his wand.
A Timmy sized wand appeared in the boy’s hand, ten inches long balsa wood with a snail snot core, terminating in a three inch sparkling five pointed star.. Stiff and good for anything the user decided he wanted to do.
“Timmy!” Wanda pleaded for a bit of sanity, “Why don’t we go help the Crimson Chin again? That’s always fun.”
“No!” the boy in the pink hat proclaimed. “I wish I was being sorted into Gryffindor for Harry’s first year!”
Cosmo cluelessly raised his wand, while Wanda sighed and raised hers as well.
Vickie, the world’s most evil babysitter was standing outside Timmy’s room trying to decide which of the horrible tortures she had devised to use on Timmy next. There were four distinct options, any of which would have the boy a sobbing wreck in seconds. She shook her head as herself. It was obvious, do all four simultaneously. The evil teen kicked the door open only to find herself looking at a huge roiling mass of smoke inside the room.
The smoke seemed to be forming the words ‘Copyright Violation’… That was odd, she thought as she found herself pulled into the vortex the smoke concealed.
A/N: Not sure where to go with this one, it makes me giggle when I think of the possibilities. Imagine Snape going into Croaker like convulsions in Potions, imagine Jorgon VonStrangle confronting Dumbledore, imagine the Pixies (or anti-fairies) aligning themselves with Voldemort…