This was as good as it was gonna get; I couldn't do better.
Chapter 13 – Doubt
I caught myself staring at Frank a few times while we were changing. Unfortunately, he seemed to be in a hurry. He gave me a small inconspicuous grin as he left. A large smile forced its way onto my face. I ran outside to catch my bus, almost late. They should not have a gym class during last block, there's not nearly enough time to change and catch a bus. When I got outside, I heard someone yell my name. I looked over and saw Gerard waving me down, leaning against his car. Confused, I walked toward him. He never picked me up from school; Mom thought it was a waste of gas when it was free to take the bus. I suppose she was right, even though I hated it.
I got to the car and Gerard smiled at me. "Hey little brother."
"Hey Gee, what's going on?" I asked.
He shrugged, "I wanted to see how the day went, thought we could grab a coffee," he said, pulling on his door handle. I accepted, getting into the passenger's seat. "Yeah Kaitlyn and I are headed to Maxwell's to see the Misfits tonight so I wanted to make sure I saw you,"
I sighed in jealousy. It was an eighteen plus show, so I couldn't go with them. "Oh yeah, that's tonight."
He reached over and ruffled my hair. "Sorry buddy, only two more years."
"Yeah, only," I replied sarcastically.
We drove to a Dunkin Donuts, saving the conversation until we had caffeine. I happily told him all of the details of my day; he sat across from me, listening intently, and didn't speak until I had finished.
He took a deep breath in. "Mikey. You are my brother and I love you. I don't want you to get mad at me for this…" he trailed off, staring at this coffee cup in front of him.
My eyebrows crinkled. "Well?" I asked, impatient.
He pursed his lips and looked up at me. "You need to end this, quick," he said quietly.
My mouth fell open a bit. "What? Why?" I asked. Had he not been listening to anything I said?
He sighed. "It sounds to me like he's using you." I said nothing; my blood was boiling. He had no right. I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth and folded my arms across my chest. "Look, all I'm saying is that he can't have his cake and eat it too. He's gonna date Amy and fool around with you on the side? That's not very fair to you. Or her for that matter." I knew that everything he was saying was true. I just didn't want to admit it. "I really don't want you to get hurt."
"I can take care of myself," I stated monotonously.
The left corner of his mouth turned up in a smile that did not match his eyes. "I know. I was just giving you my opinion. I'll shut my big fat mouth now." He finished off his coffee and stood up from the table. "Ready to go?" he asked.
I followed him to the car and slumped into the passenger's seat. Gerard pulled out of the lot and sighed. "Buddy I know you're pissed off at me. I can read you like a book."
"It doesn't matter." I mumbled, staring out of my window.
"I'm just really worried. That's all." Again, I said nothing. He couldn't just be happy for me. This was as good as it was gonna get; I couldn't do better. "Be careful at least. Can you do that?"
I nodded. We pulled up to the house and Kaitlyn was parked outside. We walked to the front door and she was sitting at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette with my parents. She smiled at us and walked up to Gerard, hugging him.
"How was your day, baby?" my mom asked, putting out her cigarette to come and hug me.
"Fine, Mom. I'm gonna go work on my homework." I walked downstairs to my room, and flopped onto my bed. I didn't actually have any school to do. I started cleaning my room instead. I gathered all the dirty clothes from my floor and added my uniform to the pile, changing into jeans and a black Smiths shirt. I threw my clothes into the wash, then went back to my room to make my bed. Kaitlyn stepped into the doorway. "Hey Mikey, you got a minute?" she asked.
I threw my pillows on my bed and nodded. "What's up?"
"You've seemed a little down lately," she said, walking right up to me and pulling me into a hug. "If there's anything you wanna talk about, I'll listen. Gerard might not exactly be helpful in the boy department."
"Thanks," I replied just as Gerard entered the room.
"What is going on here?" he asked in a stern but sarcastic tone.
"Oh, I'm just leaving you for your brother," Kaitlyn quipped, putting her arm around my waist.
Gerard pretended to be upset. "Kaitlyn…I don't want to be the one to break this to you but, Mikey's gay."
She gasped, stepping away from me. "I can't believe this!"
I cracked a smile. "There it is," he said, "We got him to smile. We should go; I don't want to be late."
Kaitlyn chuckled, "Alright, bye Mikey."
"Have fun guys, and bring me presents!" I said, closing the door behind them. I looked at the digital clock on my nightstand. I had barely killed any time. I had to find something to do until ten, assuming Frank even showed up. Stupid Gerard. I didn't have a doubt in the world about Frank showing up before our conversation. I hated when Gerard was right. He didn't have the personal control to refrain from saying I told you so.
I managed to keep myself busy until about nine. At this point I had to resort to stealing some of my brother's comics and reading them until I fell asleep.