Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Parker Lewis Can't Lose But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot

She Left Me For Herself

by mandy9207 2 Reviews

Pete and Patrick are trying to get through Parker's sudden death.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2010/02/15 - Updated: 2010/02/16 - 2056 words - Complete

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Pete’s POV

It’s been a week since Parker’s funeral everyday hurts even more it gets worse and worse I haven’t even slept in my bed since that it hurts too much. When I pass by the kitchen I think of her she loved to cook she taught me how to cook she taught me a lot of things I never loved someone as much as I loved her and now she’s gone forever.

Patrick’s POV

I’ve never seen Pete look so hurt he’s been like a zombie this past week. I’ve tried to get him out of the house a little but he refuses if I could at least get him out of his house we could go to my place but he doesn’t want to because he’s Pete and Pete is hard headed.

“Hey are you alright?”

He shook his left to right.

“Are you hungry? I don’t think I’ve seen you eat since I’ve been here.

Again he shook his head.

“Come on Pete talk to me. I’m just trying to help.” I said as I took a seat next to him.

This time he didn’t do anything.

“Come on you want to go to Andy’s place? He called he’s worried about you everyone is Pete.”

“I wish I could tell you that you have no idea how I feel but you do. You probably loved her as much as I did.”

This time I didn’t do anything.

“I know you’re trying to help but it’s not working and it’s not going to.”

“Pete come on don’t be like this. She wouldn’t want to see you like this.” I said as I held back tears.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” I asked confusedly.

“How are you so strong? You act like it never happened.”

“That’s not true. I’m anything but strong and you know that.” I said quietly.

“You are strong because if you weren’t you’d be like this right now.” He said as he pointed to himself.

“Pete you know I haven’t slept in a week right? Do you know that every time I do get sleep it’s only thirty minutes of it because I wake up crying.”

“You cry?” He said curiously.

“What? Pete you’ve seen me cry.”

“I know I just didn’t know you cried about her.”

“Well I do I cared about her very much.”

“Yeah probably more than I did.” He mumbled as I noticed a tear fall of the tip of his nose.

“Hey! Don’t say that! You are her husband she loved you more than anything Pete! What we had meant nothing.”

“Then why do you cry?” He said sounding lifeless.

“I don’t know Pete I just I don’t know.” I said as I walked into the bedroom to be alone.

There’s a part of me that wants to tell Pete everything and the other part is telling me not to because I know that will make him feel bad. It will make him think of how I slept with his wife for two years. God I’m so full of shit! Here I am trying to pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. The only reason Parker died because she was on her way to talk to Pete to explain herself for sleeping with me. That makes me sick. The fact that she’s dead is because of me. I came in and ruined everything. Pete is probably going to die alone he’s never going to love anyone the same way he loved her not even close to it. I sat in bed crying for an hour. Thinking of how I ruined my best friend’s life.

It was getting too quiet so I went in the living room to check on Pete. I found him asleep on the couch holding his wedding picture. I took the picture out of his grasp took off his shoes and gave him a blanket. I want him to be comfortable I’ve been here for a week and I haven’t seen him sleep. He’s been living off of pills. Pete and I had massive dark circles underneath our eyes. I’ve lost god knows how much weight I haven’t ate anything neither has Pete. Nothing is the same without her.

Right now if she was her she would be cooking something Pete probably his favorite macaroni and extra cheese. Music would be blasting throughout the house most likely Blink 182 and the three of us would sing along to Dammit but that’s if I didn’t screw everything up if she didn’t get in that car accident she would’ve been here crying in this house about how her marriage is over feeling guilty.

Maybe it’s better off. She’s in a peaceful place now. Now she has nothing to worry about. I’m not the religious type but I kind of changed since all of this happened before it did I considered myself an atheist. Maybe god took Parker away for a reason. So she doesn’t have to go through all of this pain yeah that’s it. She’s better now she’s happy and I know that she’s always going to be with us no matter what. Thinking of that about Parker being happy made me feel a little better it made me think of her smile and her laugh I loved her laugh it was adorable and contagious. The thought of Parker being happy made me drift off into a sleep that I desperately needed and this time I didn’t wake up screaming or crying I just stood asleep. I couldn’t remember the last time I had such peaceful sleep it made me remember how much I loved it.

Pete’s POV

I woke up on my couch with a blanket wrapped around me and Parker’s picture facing me. Just looking at her made me feel worse. I slammed the picture frame down. I couldn’t look at it I want to but I can’t. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself something to drink. I felt my stomach rumble maybe I should have something to eat. I thought as I looked through the cabinets and fridge. “Shit.” I said remembering there’s nothing in the house Parker always used to take care of that she used to take care of everything. I remember when we first moved in together everything was perfect the house was so clean it sparkled. I always used to tell her she had OCD and I’m going to take her to the doctor. I thought as I laughed to myself. I can’t remember the last time I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Patrick asked sounding groggy.

“Nothing. Were you asleep?”

“Yeah I knocked out. I can’t remember the last time I slept.”

“Same here.” I mumbled as I took a sip of juice.

“You wanna go eat? There’s nothing in the house.”
“Sure call Joe and Andy see if they wanna come.” I said as I grabbed my hoodie. I feel a little bit better since I slept.

A few minutes later Patrick got a hold of Joe and Andy. Joe couldn’t come he was busy with some stuff with Marie his fiancé but Andy said he’ll meet us there the only problem was we didn’t know where there was.

“So you’re telling me you want to eat you just don’t know where?” Patrick said as he started the car.

“Yes. You pick the place I don’t care long as there’s coffee there.”

“Fine.” He said as he pulled out of the driveway.

Once we pulled it made me smile it was Parker’s favorite.

“IHOP?” I said as I laughed.

“Yeah I know she used to love this place because she always used to say you could eat-“

“Breakfast at anytime of the day.” I said as I finished Patrick’s sentence.

We got out of the car and found Andy sitting in a booth waiting for us.

“What are you going to eat?” I said as I sat down.

“I already ate I just wanted to see if you guys are okay.”

“Were okay it’s getting a little bit better.” I said as I looked through the menu.

“You just have to remember Pete she’s in a better place now.” Andy said as he smiled at me.

After we all ate well me and Patrick actually. We went back home even though I was feeling better about all of this it hit me again once I walked back into my house. I felt my pocket vibrating it was my phone I didn’t recognize who it was so I answered.

“Hello is the Mr. Pete Wentz?” A woman said on the other line.

“Yes how could I help you?”

“I’m Sheila Wright from the adopting agency do you remember Kasey?”

“Yes what about her?” I said as I held back tears Parker loved Kasey she was devastated when we couldn’t adopt her.

“The other family that was interested in her decided against it.”

“Why? That’s horrible.”

“The reason why Mr. Wentz is confidential but Kasey is back up for adoption if you’d like you and your wife could come down here tomorrow.” She said cheerfully.

“Ms. Wright tell Kasey I’m really sorry but I can’t raise her by myself.” I said as tears streamed down my face.

“Mr. Wentz what happened?”

“My wife passed away a week ago she got into a car accident.” I said quietly trying not to sound like I was crying.

“Oh Mr. Wentz I’m so sorry I had no idea.”

“It’s fine. Can you please tell Kasey I’m sorry and to keep her chin up. She’s a wonderful little girl and anyone would love to adopt her. If my wife was still alive I would’ve adopted her today.”

“Of course Mr. Wentz I’ll tell her right away. Again I’m very sorry about your wife.”

I hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. Look when I can adopt her when Parker is fucking dead! What kind of fucking timing is that?! I thought as I breathed deep breaths from crying so hard.

“Pete what happened??” Patrick said as he ran in the living room.

“The adoption agency called now that Parker’s dead I can adopt her!”

“What?”

“Remember when I told you there was another family interested in adopting Kasey?”

“Yeah.”
“Well they backed out me and Parker were the only other family that was interested now that she’s gone I can’t raise that little girl on my own.”

“Maybe you could?”

“No! No I can’t do it without Parker.” I said as I started to cry harder.
“I could help you raise her. You know I’ll always be there for you no matter what right?” He said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

“Thanks but I can’t do it I want Parker to be with me. I know it’s selfish but besides the adopting agency won’t give her to me now that Parker’s gone.”

“Your right you would be raising her on your own and they wouldn’t like that.” He said as he started to get choked up.

“Exactly so I just have to forget about it.” I said as I walked out the door.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going??” Patrick said as he ran after me.

“I can’t stay in the house anymore Patrick I have to go somewhere.”

“Where??”

“Anywhere I don’t care I just have to go.”

“Let me go with you.” He said he came near me.

“No.” I said as I pushed him away. “I need to go by myself.” I said as I got into the car and pulled out of my driveway.

*Most likely the next chapter is going to be the last so rate & review! Xoxo
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