Dante was a regular customer in the ice-cream shop where you worked, until he got you fired and you ended up living with him. (Reader+Dante)
Strawberry 01: Banana Split
You were cleaning the counter when the bells on the door softly rung even if it was well past closing time, you had forgotten to lock the doors. "Sorry, but the shop is... Dante!"
"The shop is mine?" He chuckled at how the words played out. "I'll gladly accept it."
"You know what I was going to say," Dante was a regular customer at the ice-cream shop where you worked and he always ordered the same thing. "I'll go make your strawberry sundae, but you have to eat it quick, the shop is supposed to be closed."
"No problem, I'm hungry enough to finish very fast," sometimes you wondered how he was able to live on just pizza and strawberry sundaes.
"You should really try adding a banana," Dante always ordered a sundae, not a banana split, but bananas went very well with ice-cream and he would at least be eating a different fruit then.
"As long as it's strawberry ice-cream," Dante agreed.
The owner of the ice-cream shop was an old lady, she was the grandmotherly type, but also outdated. She didn't give you too much trouble; you didn't dress like an easy girl anyway, so she had nothing to critique except the lack of feminine details in your tomboyish attire.
The old lady's house was located on the second floor on top of the ice-cream shop. When you moved into the city hoping to start a new independent life, you found it to be harder than it looked. But you reminded the old woman of her deceased granddaughter and she took you in offering you a job and room.
It wasn't as easy as it sounded since the old lady didn't want you going out at night or staying out for too long in the evening even if your shift was done. But overall, for the time being, you were doing pretty okay. If only you could find a banana...
You had filled an ice-cream cup with strawberry ice-cream; now you needed a banana to complete the banana split. "Is something wrong?" and Dante was getting impatient.
"I'll see if we have a banana in the refrigerator in the back," with the cup of melting strawberry ice-cream in your hand you went to the back of the shop in your quest to find a banana.
Though customers were not supposed to go beyond the front counter, Dante followed you like a starving puppy.
The melted strawberry ice-cream slipped down the sides of the cup creating a tiny, yet dangerous, puddle on the floor. "Sorry Dante, I don't think we have any more ba-ah!" You slipped in the aforementioned deadly strawberry puddle of doom and fell forward, tossing the cup of ice-cream into the air, its contents raining down on you, and mostly on Dante.
Fortunately, Dante was able to catch you before you crashed face first into the floor. Unfortunately, he was hungry and tired, and he lost his footing falling backwards with you landing on top of him.
"What's going on around here? Oh my goodness!" The old lady looked horrified. "Young lady!" She scolded you, "I did not take you in so you could make out with your boyfriend in the backroom, and since when do you have a boyfriend?!"
"He's not my boyfriend!" You blushed, "and we weren't kissing, I just needed his banana!"
The old lady gasped, "pack your bags, I will not house such an indecent girl, you're fired!"
"What?" The realization hit you like a ton of bricks; the old lady was outdated but apparently not outdated enough to be ignorant about the other meanings of certain words. "I didn't mean it like that!"
"Can I still have my strawberry ice-cream?" Dante had the audacity to ask, making no comment about being accused of crossing the line with you.
"Of course not! I'm banning the two of you from my shop!" The old lady hyperventilated, "go pack your things before I get the police to kick you out." She run off and locked herself in the bathroom, though you could her ranting about indecent youths through the closed door.
"Idiot!" You hit Dante on the back of the head. "What am I supposed to do now? I'm jobless and homeless!"
"You can't say it was entirely my fault..." Dante didn't know how he kept getting into trouble; maybe he just had bad luck.
"Yes it was! It's your fault I'm homeless and jobless so you'll have to take responsibility!" You were not going to let Dante escape the blame. He laughed and you blinked. "What?"
"The way you say it makes it sounds as if we really did cross the line." The hit to the back of his head made it clear you were not amused. "Alright I get it. Why don't you just stay at my place for now?"
"Fine," you accepted the offer; you had nowhere to go anyway. Besides, Dante was cool and you liked the idea of living with him.
xoxox xox xoxox
"Dante! How's the business? No customers as usual?" Patty let herself in. Her visits to Devil May Cry were frequent so it was no surprise to Dante. "Did anything new happen?"
"Nothing," Dante replied. He was sitting on the couch next to you, his arm casually around your waist.
"That's because you're not even trying to look for a job," you set down the newspaper; Dante didn't like any of the jobs you suggested anyway.
"Oh, something did happy, you got a girlfriend! Hi, I'm Patty, nice to meet you."
"Hello, Dante told me about you, I'm (name)."
"Maybe now Dante will stop being so lazy. You have to teach him to be a little more responsible."
Dante didn't like where your conversation with Patty was going.
"You're right," you grinned mischievously. "No job, no strawberry sundaes or bananas."
Dante grumbled and picked up the newspaper.
Strawberry 02: Protector of Machines
There was a loud crash and then total silence. The jukebox was dead, wounded with a hole just big enough for Dante's foot.
"Dante!" You yelled.
Morisson shook his head, "he's no good with machines or women."
"I agree!" Patty pouted.
Dante shrugged indifferently, "just fix it."
You walked over to Dante in fury, "the difference is that unlike poor innocent little machines, women can fight back," and you delivered a swift kick to painful place.
Dante looked like he was in horrible agony, which he was; and he collapsed on the floor, hands covering the affected area.
Morrison was speechless and Patty stared wide eyed while Lady laughed. "Poor juke box but also poor Dante!" Patty finally said.
"Screw Dante!" You growled.
Lady chuckled, "I don't think anyone is going to be doing that any time soon."
Morrison's horrified and frightened look did not change, Dante continued to agonize on the floor and Patty didn't get it; but you and Lady had a good laugh.
xoxox xox xoxox
"Dante," he turned around on the couch facing away from you, this afternoon it was just the two of you at his place. "Dante it's been three days you can't possibly still be in pain..." He refused to talk to you or even look at you. "You big baby... I brought you something, they're strawberries. You like strawberry sundaes so I thought you might like strawberries. They're fruits so they're healthy; you need more vitamins since all you eat is ice-cream and pizza."
You set the bowl of strawberries in the coffee table and looked at Dante. You lifted his head, sat down and let him lay his head on your lap. "C'mon try the strawberries, they're really good." You took one of the juicy red fruits and fed it to Dante. Despite his refusal to talk to you, he couldn't resist eating the strawberry when you put it in his mouth. "Do you like it? Are you going to stop being mad at me now?"
It was his fault anyway for kicking the jukebox and ruining your plans to improvise a karaoke marathon with Lady and Patty. He probably treated the TV badly too, that's why it hardly ever worked. It was about time someone defended those machines.
"You'll have to spoil me, a lot more," Dante finally said.
Strawberry 03: Stomachache
"Dante! Wake up Dante!" Usually by now, Dante was out of bed and dozing off at his desk. Okay, so he would still be sleeping but at least he would be downstairs and ready to greet any possible customers at a moment's notice even if it was with a sleepy "hmm".
When you entered Dante's room the first thing you noticed was Dante laying on his stomach, face buried into his pillow, wearing nothing but his boxers. Then the second thing you noticed was... actually, you couldn't pry your eyes away until you stumbled into an empty box of pizza, then you finally noticed said box.
You picked up the empty box decorated with pictures of pizza slices and hearts, and noted that there was more trash hidden under the bed when you bent over to pick it up. You sighed and threw the box under the bed, it would be best to clean it all out at once; but first you needed to wake Dante.
"Dante!" You were temped to just take a nap with him, or on him, but he needed to get up. "Dante!" You shook him until he finally produced a sound.
"Oh..." and he sounded like he was dying.
Dante lifted his head from his pillow, his expression a mix of pain and confusion. "In all my days as a hunter I've been shot, stabbed, and a bunch of other things; but that didn't really hurt, not like this..."
"What about when I kicked you?"
"I blocked out that memory," you could have sword you felt him shudder.
"Where does it hurt now?"
Dante turned over so that he was lying on his back and pointed at his stomach, "here."
"Your stomach hurts?" You had thought Dante was invulnerable to stomachaches if he was yet to mention having one despite eating nothing but pizza and ice-cream all the time. You touched the affected area, he had nice abs... very nice abs.
"Whatever it is you're doing, it's not working."
"Huh?" You snapped out of your daze, "oh right, you have a stomachache. I'll get you something to take for that."
You went on a quest to find some pain killers; thankfully you had bought some when you went shopping for miscellaneous necessities the previous day. You returned to Dante's room with a pair of small white pills and a glass of water.
He only groaned in response.
Dante was still just as you left, him laying on his back, one arm thrown over his face and from the right angle he looked amusingly dramatic. From every other angle he just looked hot.
"I brought you some medicine."
Dante removed his arm from his face and opened one eye looking at you suspiciously. You took a step forward and he opened his other eye, his face gaining a look of disapproval. You took another step forward and Dante sat up on his bed. Finally, he spoke, "I don't need that."
"It's for your own good!" You insisted.
"I don't need it," Dante decided to be stubborn.
"Fine then, I guess this means your stomach ache is gone." You set the pills and glass of water on the cluttered night stand between a small lamp and a pile of magazines that looked like it was about to fall off.
Dante continued to watch you suspiciously as you sat on the bed next to him and grinned mischievously, "give me a hug."
He blinked, "what?"
"A hug," you threw your arms around Dante's mid section, squeezing him tightly until he pushed you away and clutched his pained stomach. "I knew it!" You pointed at Dante accusingly. "Stop being stubborn and take your medicine like a good boy!"
"I don't need something like that!" Dante growled defensively.
"Yes you do! With the way you eat I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner." The memory of the heart decorated pizza box surfaced in your mind and you quickly dug it out. You remembered that box; it was a special offer for February only. The now empty box used to contain a heart shaped pizza which Dante ordered because it was a special offer, and thus, cheaper. He claimed that only the taste was important, not the shape. Though you suspected that he was trying to be nice in a special day and knew of no other way to show it than to share his pizza with you, then make strawberry sundaes together.
It was true that your mind had been elsewhere that day several months ago, but even so, you vaguely remembered playfully fighting Dante over the last slice of pizza, one thing leading to another, and in the end no one actually claimed that last slice.
"No way... Dante!" You held the empty pizza box, the accusatory evidence.
Dante nodded, guilty as charged. "It would have been a waste to throw it out."
"It was months old!"
"It didn't taste that bad."
"If you were hungry why didn't you order a new pizza?"
"I was going to later."
"Dante! You can't eat food that's months old! Maybe you should see a doctor..."
"I don't need things like that!"
You sighed, Dante was too stubborn. "Fine, at least take your medicine."
You could be quite stubborn too. "Give me a hug then."
You poked his stomach, "hug, hug, hug!"
"Hug, hug!" You continued to poke Dante until he pushed you down on the bed and laid on top of you.
Dante decided that he wasn't in the mood to argue and simply laid his head on your chest. Then, when Dante had his guard lowered, you pushed him on his back and shoved the pills into his mouth. He was caught by surprise and swallowed them.
"I told you, you should have taken your medicine like a good boy." You grinned victoriously from your position on top of him.
"I'll get you back for that!"
"You're welcome to try."
Strawberry 04: Appreciation
Patty wrinkled her nose disapprovingly and yelled. "Dante, why aren't you helping clean up this mess?"
"I'm busy," Dante muttered half asleep, he was just sitting at his desk dozing off and definitely not as busy as he claimed to be.
You pouted and set the broom aside, "Dante, you're helping us clean, we're not your maids!"
"I don't mind if you leave things the way they are. Besides, a certain someone owes me for eating my last ice-cream." He glanced at Patty.
"You won't die because you had to wait until you got to the restaurant to eat more ice-cream," Patty countered. "Besides, you owed me that ice-cream anyway; I won it in a game of cards."
"Ice-cream drama aside," you voiced, "I've been cleaning a lot lately so you definitely owe me."
"I thought I already paid you, fine, I'll show my appreciation again later," your face turned red at Dante's words.
But thankfully Patty didn't quite catch the hidden meaning. "Dante actually had money to give you? I thought he only had debts. Either way, didn't you say you were going to have a serious talk with Dante about cleaning this place?"
"I was but..." you paused searching for the right words, truthful yet tactful, "something came up and I forgot."
"Something came up?" Patty inquired, "was it a job?"
"Not exactly..." You glanced at Dante who had the nerve to look amused.
xoxox xox xoxox
Tired of cleaning after your lazy boyfriend, you waited for Dante to finish his shower so you could give him an earful. You paced around the room until your foot landed on an empty can and you nearly fell. Though you managed to hold on to the edge of the pool table, a shriek had already escaped you; which caused Dante to rush out of the shower clad in only a towel.
He looked around as if searching for his target. "I thought we were being visited by suicidal demons." They would have to be suicidal to go to Dante's place.
"No I just slipped," you replied as soon as you returned to reality after a few seconds of staring. "And it's all your fault!" You picked up the offending can and threw it at Dante, who easily dodged it.
"How it is my fault?" He asked.
"It's because you're always making a mess. I slipped on that can and almost fell." You pointed at Dante accusingly. "What would you have done if I fell and twisted my ankle?"
Then without warning, he picked you up and carried you up the stairs.
"Dante!" He was still wet from his interrupted shower and wearing only a towel; those were facts that you found were hard to ignore. Finally he set you down on your bed. "What... why?"
"You asked me a question," Dante finally spoke.
You blinked, "then if you I twisted my ankle you would carry me here? You could have just said so!" The truth was you liked the demonstration far more than simple words, but you were not going to admit it. Then you remembered what you were supposed to be telling Dante. "I have something to say," you paused and looked him over, it wasn't easy to concentrate on your planned lecture like this. "Actually, why don't you just finish your shower first..."
Dante sat on the bed next to you, "I don't feel like it anymore."
You knew he was purposely annoying you, and that the multiple shades of pink and red on your face were the source of his amusement. "Fine, then pay attention," you would rant the best you could despite the distraction. "You really need to start cleaning after yourself because I'm not your maid and neither is Patty."
"Then why not hire a maid?" Dante asked.
"Because I'm not paying someone to clean after you, you're too broke to pay, and I'm not going to keep playing maid for free, especially if you don't even appreciate it," you replied annoyed.
"I appreciate it," just as suddenly as he picked you up before, Dante pulled you into his arms, "maybe I can repay you in a different way..."
You had decided not to let Dante escaped your speech of doom. You wanted to make it clear that he needed to stop throwing empty pizza boxes, cans and random things all over the place. But it wasn't your fault if something came up and you forgot about the ultimate lecture you had written in your head...
Disclaimer, I don't own Devil May Cry. Strawberry 02 was inspired by episode 6 of the anime.