That one night was the most amazing, worst mistake of my life. All because of him...
I looked out my window as I drove across the hot desert of the west coast. I drove past my old hometown not hardly surprised it hadn't changed since the last time I was there. I sighed as I knew where I was going, and part of me wanted to turn back. Of course I was doing all of this just for him. My stomach churned as I thought of him. I still imagined the way he smelled, his cologne enticing, warm, and inviting. His smile burned into my brain as I recalled that one night. One very mistakable wonderful night. It seemed like yesterday it happened. The reason I'm even driving out here. I must be out of mind to think I could swing this. But do you ever get the feeling, that no matter how messed up the situation is, in the end you do was right, even if it may cost everything?
Of course you do. It's only human nature your conscious tells you what to do in an effort to keep you out of trouble, even if it doesn't always fall through. I sighed as I listened to Flyleaf as I looked past the cactus and many, many, tumbleweeds as they blew with the sand mixing into the hot air. My mind drifting off the exact moment that got me here...
The lights, the music, the noise. The party came to life as I lost myself in the sights of the wonderful Las Vegas. It was all so hypnotizing to me and surreal as I never experienced such an extraordinary place, even when I'm not one for parties. I took it all in as I felt hands snake around my waist as I gasped and turned around, ready to curse someone out, until I saw a smirk on Katie's face.
"You should've seen your face." she said shaking her head.
"I'm sorry I don't welcome stranger's hands groping me as they please like you do." I retorted with a smile as she nodded.
"It's nice to have someone else's hands besides your own." she smirked as I cringed.
"I really don't want to discuss that further." I said as she laughed but nodded in agreement.
"Get your mind out of the gutter." she said trying to turn it around on me as I shook my head.
"I know how you think Katie and it sure as hell ain't no pure thoughts."
"Yeah...you're right." she said shrugging and I smiled as I sipped on my daiquiri. I looked around the club at Rio, honestly not having a clue what I was doing here. I guess I just came for the drinks. Katie was like the tazmanian devil, here one second, gone the next, and swirling around from place to another. I guess I always envied her ability to adapt so easily to new people and places. She made friends everywhere she went and I just was...so shy. I turned my head and that's when it all started. There he was.
His dark brown hair shining softly in the light. His smile filling the room as he talked. His laughter like music to my ears. I couldn't keep my eyes off him, he was like something shiny, and he had my full attention. He looked my way for one short second and I turned away shyly as his eyes met mine. I smiled as I looked back and our eyes met once more before he turned away and continued his conversation with two other guys. I sighed and turned back around in my chair sipping on my drink more before the rest of night was going to change my life. I just didn't know it then....
I remember the music still blaring. The cheers of people yelling as they partied their lives away. The lights never stopped flashing, and everything around me seemed to move at a fast pace, making my head spin as I grabbed the barstool to steady myself. When I relaxed I felt a presence next to me and I sub consciously looked to my left, gulping slightly as he was standing directly next to me. His stature a good couple inches taller than me I'm sure. His voice soft as he ordered a drink. Whiskey on the rocks. It stuck in my head like a permanent record. I blushed slightly as he scooted a little bit closer.
"Hey." he said softly and I looked at him with a smile. I looked around me just to make sure he was actually talking to me. He was. I grinned inside.
"Hey." I replied smoothly, doing my best to not seem desperate, which I wasn't by the way.
"How's your night going so far?" he asked as he thanked the bar tender when he served him his drink. I shrugged.
"It's different...yours?" I asked.
"Interesting." he replied awkwardly as I laughed slightly.
"I see." I said nodding.
"You come here often?" he asked casually while leaning against the bar while I shook my head.
"Not really no. I'm just here for some desert photos...I'm a photographer." I shrugged.
"Very nice." he smiled his killer smile and inch by inch I felt my body turn to jelly.
"How bout you?" I managed to speak out.
"I'm here for AMA. I'm a Pro Racer. Supercross."
"Pro Racer eh?" I teased as I laughed and he nodded.
"Yeah." he said smiling.
"Cool." I shrugged.
"So may I ask why a pretty girl like you is alone?" he asked softly as I blushed once more.
"My friend abandoned me for the DJ." I said pretending to be sad as he scooted closer. I bubbled inside some more.
"Such a shame." he replied and I nodded.
"Perhaps I can buy you a drink to make up for it?" he asked and I looked at him direct in the eye and nodded once more.
"Only if you tell me your name." I asked smoothly and he chuckled.
"I'm Chris. You?"
"Lynai." I replied. He seemed confused as everyone did.
"Hmm...different. Unique. I like it." he said nodding while I smiled.
"It has its good days." I shrugged as he smiled back at me.
"I could imagine. So...how bout that drink?" he asked and I nodded.
"What's your poison?"
"Screaming Orgasm." I replied smoothly, attempting not to laugh as I said it, or his facial expression.
"Okay then. Screaming Orgasm it is." he chuckled before ordering my drink as I studied his muscles. His hands flexed ever so slightly and I reacted slowly when he handed me my drink. I took a long sip from it and that's how it started.
One drink turned into two, plus two more, plus one more. The more the drinks, the more he talked, and the more I fell for him harder than I ever intended to. I could feel myself relax as I knew I must be getting drunk. I felt less shy, more bold...and frisky. Somewhere in my mind a voice was telling me to stop it, but I couldn't control myself, especially with him around. Our eyes caught each other's. He came even closer to me. His face not to far from his. At the moment, I only saw him. Everything else around me was blurry, unreadable. His face clear as ever as his hand touched my side. I shivered from that one small touch as he leaned in and our lips suddenly touched. I didn't pull back, I couldn't. It sent a shock of electricity in me, igniting every nerve inside me as I leaned in as well to kiss him back. His lips smooth, soft as we kissed ignoring everything around us. He pushed back and looked at me as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. And I let him. I let him take my hand and take away from the crowd of strangers and pounding music. Chris pulled me along softly as we walked out of the club and down the stairs. At this point, I was unsure of where we were. Just a long hallway, and my mind somewhere else.
We stopped at a door and he pulled me in when he opened it. I didn't struggle, didn't object as we entered the slightly dark room where I fully lost control and let him take me as he held me in his strong arms as his lips kissed everywhere on my neck. I can't explain every detail, but I can say every second was amazing. I remembered his hands at my waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. I remember him laying me down on the soft bed as he stripped me of my clothing and stripping himself as well. It all happened so quickly but passionately. His fingers trailing down my thighs. His mouth on my skin as I played with his hair while he kissed down and touched me. His hands cupping me as I let a moan escape my lips from his touches. I had no intentions of stopping him, and I had no idea why. I was trapped under him as he did things to me no one else did. And as he filled me slow but deep as I let out small breaths as we created a rhythm. He worked faster and I felt my body convulse underneath him as be brought me to an unforgettable climax as I shuttered and panted underneath him as I felt a warm thick substance fill me deeply. I sighed as he pulled out of me and collapsed to my side. He wrapped his arm around me and through drunk tired eyes, I nestled into him, unaware that what I did was not supposed to happen. I fell asleep quickly into the abyss of dreams as I heard nothing but his heart beat.
The sun peaking it's way into the hotel room as I slowly opened my eyes and stretched my limbs as I sat up and when I finished yawning, I gasped. This hotel room was not my mine. My breathing became deep as I started panicking. I couldn't remember a single about last night. I looked around and gulped. I froze when I felt movement next to me. I looked next to me with caution as I saw him.
"Chris." I said to myself. Well I at least, I managed to remember his name. I noticed he was shirtless as he snored softly. I took a deep breath as I removed the sheet.
"Please don't be naked. Please don't be naked!" I whispered as I looked down and bit my lip as I was fully bare. Don't cry. Don't cry. I felt tears form as I swiftly got out of bed and waited for him to wake up, happy he didn't. I quickly scurried around and slipped my panties and bra on before finding my dress and stilettos. I tied the straps around my ankles. I looked back at him one last time, and knew it would it be forever. Last night, what ever happened wasn't supposed to happen, and I had to let it go before anything else had happened.
"Goodbye." I whispered as I watched him sleep soundlessly before walking out of the room and shutting the door softly before finding my way back to room where I was going to pack, and not stay there any longer with the guilt. I was going home.
And when he woke up, I would be long gone...
"Forever." I mumbled bitterly. I promised I wouldn't look back and here I am driving across the Arizona desert. Somehow in my purse I found his number and I looked up his address. And as shamed as I am to admit, that was only thing I knew about him. Besides his name, and he was a pro racer. That was all I knew about him, and here I was driving to him.
"It's not too late to turn around." I suddenly said and cursed loudly. It was way too late. I was seven hours away from home. I shook my head as I thought everything happened. That one night messed with me at night as I tried to block it out. It was so clear in my mind like a movie as I tried to forget it and move on. But it was impossible...
And here I was. Right in front of his house on Moonlight CT, Phoenix, Arizona. Is sighed as I got out of the car. My feet involuntarily walking up the steps to his house. I chewed on my lip as I looked around the house. It was nice. Adobe made with brick steps and a shiny Mercedes Benz in the driveway. I sighed. There's was a chance he was indeed inside. I prayed to God to forgive me for what I did, and that somehow I would miss him and I could get right back in the car and not look back. But I almost threw up when I heard movement. Someone was in there.
I took deep breaths to calm myself and face the consequences of my actions. The fact that I was in front of his house after leaving him that morning with not one word spoken. The fact that I drove all the way here. The fact that I was standing outside his house...three months pregnant.