Said I Wouldn't Call But I Lost All Control.(Ferard)
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cuz I can't fight it anymore
I don’t count how many times it rings before I realize there is no one answering on the other side. Your voice doesn’t come through the other line that I was hoping to hear. I lay the phone back down on the bed before getting off the bed; I head towards the doorway looking back at the empty bed. My heartbreaks even more the memories of us keep replaying. I can’t help but think if I ever cross your mind just once, if I ever was in your mind just for a second, for me my mind is always on you.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time
I hear my own foot steps walking down the hallway I keep hoping I would hear a second pair of foots steps walking right behind me but all I get is silent when I come to a stop. I look towards the clock it’s 1am I should be sleeping by now when the one I love but tonight I’m staring at the clock.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Drinking has never been for me I always thought drinking was a waste of time, that drinking your life away is a waste. I wondering why I’m drinking tonight I guess the memories won’t stop playing in my head I need the memories to leave so I can finally sleep, each shot of whiskey is one step closer to forgetting you. However, I cannot stop looking at the door hoping you will be walking in with that warm smile.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stopping looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
An hour has gone by I can tell I’m a little drunk but not enough to easier you from my mind. I walk back to the bedroom my heart races in hoping there would be one miss call from you, but when I look at the screen, all I see is the picture of us. Again I’m losing control I call again hoping this time you will answer.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
By the fourth ring, I realize your not going to answer I worry that something is wrong, but I don’t think that is the answer. This time I let it go to voicemail maybe if I left you a message you would somehow forgive.
“Hey Gerard. I know your mad at me I know sorry is not enough but please forgive me. It’s pass one clock and I’m kind of drunk, I need you. I need you in my life without you I’m nothing. I’m all alone this is not the way I want to spend my life alone; I want you in my life. Please forgive me, I need you“
Tears were going down my face after I said my message I lay the phone back down on the bed, I don’t know how I’m going to move on without you. I lay my head on your pillow I close my eyes hoping sleep would take over but I gave up after ten minutes went by. I can’t make it in this world without you I need you in my life, I never thought I would find someone who means the world to me. I keep waiting for my phone to go off any second now hoping to hear your sweet voice, I’ll wait forever.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I stare at the door once again still hoping any minute you would come walking in any minute that this whole fight is some nightmare I’m having, I know I have to stop pretending that this is real life and you’re not going to come back. I lay back on the bed my head resting on your pillow this is not how it’s suppose to be right now I’m not suppose to be alone in this bed. My eyes slowly close in hoping when I wake back up everything would be a dream, I have a feeling that won’t happen. Just then I hear my phone going off first I thought it was just me hearing things, until I look at my phone and saw your name on the screen. My heart started to race once again, a sad small smile came cross my face I open my phone before saying,
Oh baby I need you now