Jimmy and Cindy have 12 kids and it looks like the madness will begin
“Ooh if it isn’t the birds it’s the kids Cin, for one day I’d like to sleep in for a little longer than five minutes” Jimmy moaned as Cindy turned over and the siding to their house bumped and thumped.
“Jimmy burglars go show them what a brave man you are, then come back here and keep me warm sweetie” Cindy said groggily as Jimmy grabbed a metal baseball bat and headed in the direction of the bumps and thumps.
“I can’t believe I pulled that off girl, it’s like I was a genius in another life or something, and to get one over on my parents I’m none the wiser: A blond haired girl said into a cell phone as Jimmy angrily tapped his foot.
“I gotta go Lillian my dad’s about to erupt and I think he wants me to pay close attention to what he has to say”.
Cindy and Jimmy’s first daughter Gabriel looked exactly like Cindy but with Jimmy’s eyes which she used mostly for staying out of trouble.
“Morning daddy see here’s the thing I was getting the morning paper and the door blew shut locking me out, so I tried calling Alex but she is a very sound sleeper when I need her so I climbed the siding” Gabriel said throwing the paper at Jimmy as he took it but wasn’t buying her story.
“I can’t believe I pulled that off girl, it’s like I was a genius in another life or something, and to get one over on my parents I’m none the wiser” Jimmy said turning his hand into a telephone and speaking into it.
“What I meant to say was I went to get my darling, loving, caring, giving father the morning paper, I mean what’s the world coming to when a daughter can’t get her father the morning paper?”.
Cindy shuffled down the hall knowing that Jimmy wasn’t going to punish Gabriel but she sure was, because she could see through her daughter’s blue eyes.
“Morning eldest daughter and what brings you to climbing our vinyl siding this morning, another party or were you just out with Brad into the wee hours of the morning” Cindy asked as Gabriel put the puppy dog eyes on Jimmy and he could feel himself becoming weaker.
“Can’t we just let me get away with it just once, I mean come on daddy I never hurt anyone and at least I’m alive” Gabriel said as Cindy snapped her fingers in front of Jimmy’s eyes.
“One month no phone, no Brad, no Libby, no Eliza, no television, and you’ve pulled babysitting duty for that month, and the only time you leave this house is to go to school and come home from school”. Cindy said as Gabriel’s jaw dropped.
“But what about my cheerleading, and my gymnastics, and my ballet?, I mean dad and you pay good money for me to be there” Gabriel said as Cindy got a thoughtful look on her face.
“Fine you can go to your sports but you have to take the triplets with you, and on occasion the littlest sib Kennedy” Cindy said a smile growing over her face as Gabriel turned her eyes back to Jimmy.
“One week let’s stand by that daddy, and then after that week we can talk longer punishment if you want and that’s if you want not if mom wants”.
“All right young lady a month and one week for putting your father up against the wall, and Jimmy so help me God if you even tell her one week you’ll find yourself bedless for the month that she’s grounded”.
“One month I stand by your mother on this, in fact we had a talk last night that I was being a softie with you and I would agree with her one hundred percent” Jimmy said as Gabriel’s eyes met his again.
“One week, one week one week, one week, now when I snap my fingers you’ll say one week and not care what mom has to say on the subject” Gabriel said as Cindy shook her head and Gabriel snapped her fingers.
“One month and that’s final meaning end of the conversation, kaput, no more arguing or we’ll add another week on to the week your mother gave you” Jimmy said as Gabriel pouted her lip at Jimmy and Cindy knew that he was becoming stronger than her.
“Now get your little butt ready for school and be downstairs for breakfast in five minutes, and if I hear another grumble from your lips your grounded even longer” Cindy said as Gabriel slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked down the stairs still moping.
“All right I’ll get the rest of the dozen up you get their lunches and breakfast ready Jimmy, then we’ll go through the morning mail to see if there’s anything of interest this morning”.
At the word mail Gabriel ran to the door to check it as Jimmy started knocking on the first door he found which was his only son Leo’s room as he moaned and turned over.
“Good morning son let’s get you up and ready for a good day in the second grade, then you can come home and help me with my experiments” Jimmy said as Leo kicked his blankets off and slowly shuffled from his room.
“Daddy I know I ask this a lot but why am I the only boy in a valley of eleven sisters?, I mean can’t mommy and you make another boy to play catch with me in the yard?” Leo asked skipping down the stairs as Jimmy stared after him.
“Maybe the new baby will be a brother for you who knows?, and besides that you have Godard to play with in the yard”.
“Godard is a metal puppy with no human skin daddy, I want a little brother to play with me, someone I can teach things to like how to sneak cookies when mommy is cooking dinner, or how to make mommy say no to being grounded, and lastly how to make a three point shot at the buzzer” Leo said as Jimmy smiled.
“All right I have other girl’s to wake up so you get dressed and be ready to eat breakfast before the bus, I’ll talk to your mom about the little brother problem while your at school” Jimmy said as Leo pumped his fists in the air and hugged Jimmy.
“You’re the best daddy in the world of daddy’s you know that?, I’m glad you’re my daddy and nobody can make me hate you”.
“Wait a couple years kid you might think differently of me then, but I’m glad you love me right now kiddo so let’s get you some breakfast and then get you ready for school”.
Leo walked into the kitchen as he kissed Cindy’s cheek and then stared at her stomach as Cindy smiled down at him.
“Does it feel like a boy mommy?, please say it feels like a boy because I’m starting to hate being surrounded by icky girls” Leo said as Cindy kissed him back and hugged him.
“I have to say it does feel like a boy kiddo, but look at things this way at least when girls are all you think about you’ll be able to understand them” Cindy said as Leo sat at the table and grabbed a cereal bowl.
“So what kind of cereal would we like this morning cutie pie?, Corn Pops, Lucky Charms, Peanut Butter Crunch, Reeses Puffs, or Golden Graham’s your choice.
Cindy knew even before asking Leo what cereal he wanted as he grabbed the Corn Pops and poured them into his bowl with milk as toast and orange juice greeted him.
Meanwhile Jimmy stopped at another door where three beds greeted him and he pulled the shades back as three girls squinted against the sun.
“Morning ladies it’s a beautiful morning for school, now get you butts out of those beds, dressed, and downstairs for breakfast” Jimmy said as a blonde haired girl with pigtails was first.
“Good job Angel all right you two up now or you’ll meet my friend Mr. hot water, how does that grab you?”.
A second girl in pink hair woke up next as Jimmy stared and blew up when he saw the pink hair as Cindy and Leo ran upstairs to see what the problem was.
“Young lady what have you done to your hair?, and don’t even try blaming Alex for this one because last I checked she wasn’t a hair dresser” Jimmy said as the girl smiled innocently up at Cindy.
“Don’t look at me I told you not to color your hair, and I believe your father asked you a question” Cindy said as the girl stared at her feet.
“I let Christie Ann color it for me, she said it would look cool and I have to say that she was right and it makes me stand out against all the blonde heads in this house” The girl said as Jimmy grabbed her arm and led her to the bathroom.
“All right young lady stick your head in the sink and don’t move an inch or I’ll mess up your hair even more” Jimmy said as the girl who’s name was Gretchen held a pout on her face.
“Well I have more breakfast’ to make so excuse me Jim, and I have to say your parenting is rather well today”.
Jimmy smiled as he grabbed a blond hair coloring from the medicine cabinet and poured it into the warm water as Gretchen started to cry.
“I want to stand out in the crowd and here you are making me look as bland as everybody else in this God forsaken family” Gretchen said as the last triplet woke up and shuffled to the bathroom to find Jimmy and Gretchen fighting.
“Excuse me but I have to use the facilities and I’m not about to do it in front of a boy” The girl said as Jimmy walked out and shut the door seeing Gretchen’s hair turn blonde again.
Jimmy walked to the next door and knocked as a girl came walking out already dressed and her backpack slung over her shoulder with a kitten dashing out of the room.
“Morning Alex apparently Gabriel was screaming your name this morning for you to let her in, did you hear anything like that this morning?” Jimmy asked as Alex shook her head and picked up the kitten cuddling with it.
“It shouldn’t be Gabriel being out past curfew that you should be worried about dad, your about to get a letter from our school that should interest you” Alex said grinning and running down the stairs for breakfast.
“Hold it young lady what is this letter about?, I mean what does it say if I may ask my cute little bunny rabbit?”.
“That nickname went out the window when I was seven dad, but it says a little of this and a little of that but in short she’s expelled for failing every one of her classes”.
Jimmy shrugged it off and knocked on the next door as a teenaged girl walked out on her cell phone as Jimmy motioned for her to hang up.
“Gotta go Laurie I’ll see you at school you know I have to do the family thing this morning” The girl said hanging up as she hugged Jimmy and then it all sank in that Gabriel was getting expelled and he screamed form the top of his lungs.
“Gabriel Aurora Vortex get your takuss up here now and bring the mail with you and I mean now young lady!” Jimmy screamed as the teenaged girl kissed him and ran down the stairs as Cindy, Leo, and Gabriel met him at the top of the stairs.
“All right young lady I shouldn’t have to tell you how angry your mom can get so out with it, and don’t play dumb because Alex told me all about your little school problem”.
“What school problem daddy?, I mean I’m best in my class and their even thinking of skipping me a grade so I can be the first 12 year old in junior high” Gabriel said smirking as Jimmy wasn’t laughing.
“You didn’t happen to catch the mailman this morning did you young lady?, and if so I want the mail that your hiding from us right now” Jimmy said as Cindy was till in the dark about the whole thing.
“I’m not hiding any mail daddy, I mean do you really think I’d stoop that low to hide school letters from you?” Gabriel asked as she gave herself away.
“All right who said I was looking for school letters Gabby?, I want the mail in my hands this instant young lady all of it”.
Gabriel reluctantly handed Jimmy all the envelopes as he handed them to Cindy.
“Bill, bill, bill, bill, bill, you could win a million dollars, call your mother, and what have we here a letter from Crocket Elementary do we know anybody who goes there?” Jimmy asked as he opened it and read it aloud.
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Neutron we’re sorry to inform you that Mrs. Gabriel Aurora Vortex is hereby expelled for the year, she was found fighting with students and is holding herself back from learning”.
Cindy snatched the letter from Jimmy and read more of it as Gabriel wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
“Mrs. Gabriel Aurora Vortex may not come back next year or the year after that, maybe now she’ll learn that fighting and playing dumb get’s you nowhere in life” Cindy said her eyes full of fire and locking with Gabriel’s.
Jimmy wake the rest of the kids up I’ll handle this delinquent myself, and she will be home schooled by me for the rest of her natural life”. Cindy said as Jimmy knocked on the teenaged girl’s door again as she stepped out with a smile on her face.
“I knew one of us would be expelled but I had no idea that it was going to be her, she was the smartest of all the kids” The girl who’s name was Britney said as Jimmy knocked on the next door.
“I don’t feel well enough to go to school today dad, I think I have a stomach flu” A girl said in the most pathetic display of acting Jimmy has ever seen.
“All right you can stay home and let your mother deal with you all day, did I mention that she’s already on edge with Gabriel being expelled and all” Jimmy asked as the girl who’s name was Laney jumped from bed and started dressing herself quickly.
“That’s what I thought sweetheart, now get downstairs and eat some breakfast then it’s off to the bus stop for a day full of learning” Jimmy said as Laney hugged him and ran downstairs where Cindy was obviously yelling at Gabriel.
“Of all the boneheaded things you have done with your life this is by far the stupidest, I can’t believe you think this is some kind of joke!” Cindy yelled as Gabriel said the one thing all the kids never thought she would say.
“Is it stupider than dropping out of College to raise a child?, I mean come on where the hell do you get off yelling at me!” Gabriel screamed as a slap was heard and the house fell silent.
“Don’t you ever blame me for the things you do again you bonehead, at least I graduated junior high and high school which is more than I can say for some people”.
“Your calling me a bonehead I’m not the one with twelve kids am I?, I mean one wasn’t enough for you was it”.
Gabriel ran up the stairs with a red mark on her face as Cindy ran after her and the kids steered clear of her field of vision.
Jimmy knocked on the next door as a girl with brown hair hopped from the doorway hugging Jimmy as he helped her get dressed.
“Daddy when will I be old enough to start going to school like the older kids?, It get’s boring around here all day” The girl said as Jimmy picked her up and carried her to the kitchen.
“This conversation is not even close to finished young lady, I have given up everything to raise you and all’s I get is you regretting even being alive” Cindy said grabbing Gabriel’s arm as she stopped dead in the kitchen.
The little girl hugged Cindy and kissed her cheek as Cindy kissed her back and she ran to get some Lucky Charms.
“Mommy why are you so angry this morning?, did Gabby do something bad?” The little girl who’s name was Kennedy asked as Cindy knelt down to her level still keeping her grip on Gabriel.
“Mommy want’s you to know that she loves you very much Kenny and right now Gabriel is trying to tell mommy that she’s not giving enough love to anyone in the family” Cindy said as Kennedy kissed her again and Cindy stared up at Gabriel smiling.
“Yea I really messed up this time didn’t I?, I have a little girl who loves me and a family who cares for me most of the time”.
“Three more kids to wake up and then I’ll join the family for breakfast Jimmy said as Kennedy hummed under her breath with a mouthful of cereal.
“Now since you have no sports because your expelled babysitting is your only priority these days, Kennedy, the triplets, Leo, the whole Motley Cru will be your responsibility as well as mine and your fathers now.
“Mommy are we still going to the mall to buy me a teddy bear and some clothes?, or are you too angry at Gabby to go anywhere today?” Kennedy asked as Cindy shook her head.
“We’ll go when daddy get’s home, we should be able to go to the mall earlier but your sister was a bonehead and got herself thrown out of school” Cindy said as Kennedy looked around and saw no Gabriel.
“Mommy where is Gabby she was right here a minute ago wasn’t she?, I mean she’s like one of those magic peoples”.
The TV in the living room could be heard as Cindy stomped that way and grabbed the remote as the TV turned off and Gabriel looked up angrily.
“Do you mind I was watching that?, don’t you know when somebody is looking at the TV their watching?” Gabriel asked as Cindy grabbed her hand and led her back to the kitchen.
“Young lady being expelled is not going to be a vacation for the rest of your life, your going to learn things and you just might learn some stuff about me too” Cindy said as Gabriel slumped into a kitchen chair angrily.
Meanwhile upstairs Jimmy is banging on another door as moaning is heard and a pre teen girl with blonde hair sleepily walked from the room and down the stairs with her backpack slung halfway over her shoulder as she clutched the railing stumbling down the stairs sleepily.
“Nice to see you too Nora, and I need to ask you not to get on your mother’s bad side this morning because she’s already about to erupt at Gabriel” Jimmy said as Nora just sleepily waved her hand at Jimmy and walked into the kitchen.
“Well look who it is the walking dead, now I want you to hurry up and eat then get dressed before you miss the bus yet again” Cindy said as Nora poured herself some Reeses Puffs and started eating.
“Not that it’s my business or anything but what did the escape artist of groundings do to get a lecture from you mom” Nora asked as Gabriel just stuck her tongue out at Nora.
“That’s not your business Nora, it’s between me and mom, but knowing mom’s fat mouth she’ll let it slip one way or another” Gabriel said as Kennedy slurped her milk down and ran off to watch cartoons.
“She has it made here, I mean she can do what she wants, she can watch what she wants, she pretty much has full reign of this house until she starts school”.
“You don’t hear her calling me a bad mother do you?, because she knows that it takes a good mother to raise twelve kids going on thirteen” Cindy said as Gabriel just looked angrily up at her.
“You grounded me for a month just because I broke curfew last night, now what kind of loving mother would ground their daughter for a month just for that” Gabriel asked as Cindy sat down next to her.
“A month and two weeks to be exact, but lucky you that month get’s turned into two more months and two weeks”.
“Three months and two weeks are you kidding me?, come on mom when do I get to have a social life in this whole grounding thing?”.
“She got expelled man mom she was right you do have a big mouth, but anyways I think the punishment fit’s the crime because mom and dad always told us not to get expelled didn’t she?” Nora asked as two girls skipped down the stairs in sundresses.
“All right gang it’s picture day and that means that we have to look pretty and handsome for one of us so we can send them to your grandparents” Cindy said as Gabriel smiled.
“That’s one thing I won’t miss becoming an aww you look so cute kid in a stupid 8X8 flimsy picture” Gabriel said as Cindy snapped her picture smiling back.
“I thing a caption saying Junior High School Dropout would make them so proud don’t you Gab?, I mean now they can tell their friends that they have a Junior High School Dropout in the family”.
Well that’s it for now stay tuned for part 2 and please reply to part one