The gang meet their roommates and Fanny has found a new chewtoy
“I hope mine is like me a peppy, funny, giggly, Rainbow Monkey loving type” Kuki said hugging herself as she reached dorm 119.
“Study the number Wally because if we’re going to date you need to know what dorm to find me in, and I need your dorm room number just in case I want to pop in”.
“If we ever act like that hit me with a frying pan until I’m unconscious Rache, in fact I think my mom and dad were in each others dorm rooms more than they were in their own” Nigel said as Rachel kissed him and they walked hand in hand down the hall to Rachel’s dorm.
“Well looks like it’s just me, you, and Fullbright hey Hoges unless you want to ditch Fullbright somewhere” Wally said as Fanny turned around and smacked him leaving a red mark on his face.
“You never learn Beatles, after all the times I’ve hit you and all the things you’ve gone through you still think you can just talk about me in the open like that” Fanny said stopping at her dorm as Hoagie carried her bags inside and tossed them onto the bed.
“Not that I don’t like the service Gilligan but why are you doing this?, I mean I’ve been a bully since birth and hear you are helping me”.
“I have my reasons Fullbright don’t question them just go with the flow” Hoagie said dragging her suitcases into the dorm and resting them against her bed.
“If your doing this to win bonus points with me then it’s working Gilligan, but if this is a clever trick then your going to have to try harder than that”.
“Can we hurry this up Hoges I want to get to my dorm sometime today, and I also want to see the lucky sap that has Wally the party machine for a roommate” Wally said as Fanny shook her head laughing and Hoagie unloaded the last bag rushing out to join Wally.
“I don’t know why you just don’t tell her that you love her Hoagie, I mean how hard could three words be I- love- you that’s all”.
“Because those three easy words were never spoken to Kuki and look at you two, head over heels in love and In can’t take that Fanny and I are the only ones not in love with someone.
“Abby’s not in love with anyone either, she’s in Houston granted but she’s never mentioned anyone in the letter’s she’s sent to the treehouse”.
“Exactly she’s in Houston meaning Texas and she may have found someone and not mentioned it”.
“Hoges you have got to tell Fanny how you feel before she finds another man, Kuki did and the only reason I’m with her now is because she got with the wrong man” Wally said stopping at his room to find John pinning baseball caps to his side of the dorm.
“Hey roomie how’s the Asian girl doing these days if you don’t mind me asking?” John asked as Wally threw his bags onto his bed and plopped onto it.
“Actually I do mind, I mind greatly about you asking me how she’s doing seeing she’s my girlfriend” Wally said fishing through his bag and pulling out sheets, a blanket, and a pillowcase.
“We need to come up with some kind of code to tell if you have a girl in the room, you know putting something on the doorknob like a bracelet or some shit like that”.
“All right if you see my orange hoodie which I haven’t wore since eighth grade hanging on the doorknob that means do not disturb”.
“How did you two hook up anyways kid, she seems like the type to date the future world leader not the future president of stupidville” John said as a knock came on the door and John ran to answer it finding a brown haired beauty standing behind it.
“Maddie how’s it going?, Wally this is my girlfriend Maddie Washington, Mads meet Wally my roommate and looks like my new best friend for four years”.
“Nice to meet you Wally, you are never going to believe who they stuck me with Jonny, this rude girl that doesn’t even know the meaning of the word polite and she stole my Oreo’s without even asking” Maddie said as Wally knew the girl she was describing almost at once.
“Her names Fanny right?, She wears a green sweater, an orange skirt, big brown shoes, and a nasty attitude right?” Wally asked as Maddie nodded and Wally felt sorry for her.
“She’s easy to deal with actually, just take one of her stuffed animals and threaten to trash it, then she’ll be like putty in your hands”.
“She has stuffed animals?, I thought a girl that mean enjoyed cutting the heads off kittens and torturing boys to give her their lunch money”.
“$50.50 is how much she owes me, she took my lunch money all through school until Junior High where she found weaker prey that just cowered and gave her their money”.
“We have to do something to save her from this thing inside of her, she’s becoming meaner and meaner and soon nobody’s going to want to be around her” Maddie said grabbing her backpack and seeing no Oreo’s in the bag as she sighed angrily.
“Now I have to go food shopping for more double stuffed Oreo’s and not let the little thief know I have them” Maddie said as Wally and John followed her out of the dorm.
Meanwhile we see Kuki putting makeup on to cover Stevie’s latest and last beating as the door slammed shut and she saw a girl dressed in black storm past her mumbling under her breath.
“Who the hell put their stuff on my side of the room, and you better speak up now before I toss it out three stories” The girl said as Kuki stepped from the bathroom smiling.
“Howdy roomie I’m Kuki Sanaban, and it looks like we’re going to be roommates for the year at least” Kuki said as the girl’s head shot up and her blue pain filled eyes locked with Kuki’s green ones.
“All right peppy Mcgee here’s the fucking scoop, keep your shit on your side of the room and I’ll keep my shit on my side and we can both be happy” The girl said as Kuki picked her bags up keeping the smile on her face.
“All right well since I gave you my name don’t you think it only right that you give me yours?, or are you one of those girls that go by a cool gothic nickname?”.
“The names Roxie Kuki, but I go by the name Alexis to my friends and seeing I just met you Roxie is who you address me as”.
“All right Roxie I’m Kooks to my friends and seeing most people I meet are friends right of the bat you can call me Kooks if you like” Kuki said moving her stuff to the other side of the room.
“All right Kooks I like that name better than Kuki, and for future reference your using way too much eyeshadow and concealer unless you have a reason to look like a two dollar hooker” Roxie said as Kuki quickly hid her arms under her sleeves.
“There’s no need to hide it Kooks I’ve been there, so father, brother, sister, mother, friend, or boyfriend?”
“It was actually my fiancé and things were fine before we got engaged, then he was controlling, abusive, and he made me hate myself after awhile”.
“Yea all my boyfriends were controlling, and when I fought back I started getting hurt more and more, and that my peppy little friend is the reason I wear all the black I’m mourning myself” Roxie said pulling package after package of Sour Patch Watermelons from her backpack.
“You’ll come to find that I’m totally obsessed with these things, the only love in this world I share is for Mr. Sour Patch if there even is such a man”.
“I’m into Soft Patch Chocolate Chip cookies in the microwave, and a tall glass of milk”.
“I enjoy Soft Patch over any other store brand because their so hard that I can’t bite into them” Roxie said licking her lips when she saw Kuki unload about a dozen bags of Soft Patch Cookies.
“I just have to jet to a convenience store and find some milk then we’ll be in business, so besides the black and Sour Patch Watermelons what else are you into?” Kuki asked seeing that she could reach Roxie and Roxie could relate to Kuki also.
In Nigel’s Dorm we see him unpacking with no sign of a roommate yet and then the door opened and he saw an oh so familiar blonde head of hair as Rachel dumped her belongings onto Nigel’s bed smiling.
“Well I guess this will be déjà vu to your parents won’t it?, I mean us rooming together and all it’s bound to bring us closer together” Rachel said as Nigel had to do a double take to make sure it was really her.
“I’m just as confused as you sweetheart but you have to admit this is a great opportunity for us to grow as a couple”.
“I’m just surprised is all Rachey, I mean I was expecting a boy and in you walk like out of a dream or something” Nigel said as Rachel stared wanting to know what dream Nigel was talking about.’
“Exactly what dream has the both of us in a college dorm rooming together Mister?, because I’ve had a dream like this once or twice and we’re about to be interrupted in 3-2-1” Rachel said as a booming knock confirmed her dream interpatation.
“All right that is just plain freaky, but if you can tell me who’s at the other end would be freakier beyond imagination”.
“It’s Fanny and she’s going to be asking questions about Hoagie, see Hoagie helped her carry her luggage into her dorm and she’s a little freaked out by it”.
“And she came here why?, to bug you about what Hoagie did for her?”
“You’ve had this dream too huh?, now open the door because in three seconds she’s going to threaten your life Nigel, and this time I think she means it” Rachel said as Nigel bolted to the door and opened it to find Fanny shoving past him.
“Now she’s going to say beat it Uno Rachel and I have some girl talk to get through, and your not going to want to be hear listening to it”.
“Beat it Uno Rachel and I have some girl talk to get through and your not going to want to be here listening to it” Fanny said as Nigel looked frightened at Rachel as she shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
“It’s my dream sense Nigel, and by the way if your thinking of listening in I wouldn’t use the patio overlooking the window of the dorm because it’s a little weak” Rachel said as Nigel walked out hoping to catch a glimpse of conversation.
“Let me lay it down for you Fanny you’re here because Hoagie Gilligan did something nice for you, and since he did something nice for you that scares you beyond belief because he’s a boy”.
Fanny stared dumbfounded at Rachel as she held a grin on her face knowing her dream all too well.
“How in the world did you get all that from beat it Uno Rachel and I have some girl talk to get through and your not going to want to be here listening to it?” Fanny asked as Rachel’s smile became bigger.
“My dream Fullbright, I had a dream of this day about a million times and I can tell you right now that Nigel’s listening at the door because he actually listened when I said the patio was broken” Rachel said as Fanny stormed to the door and swung it open to find Nigel at the keyhole.
“Uhhhhh keyhole inspector here to inspect keyholes and yours looks good Mrs. Mckenzie so let me go inspect the rest of those keyholes” Nigel said as he was grabbed around the collar and Fanny held a bully smile on her face.
“You know Uno that was probably the most pathetic display of acting I’ve ever seen and I sat through the Cable Guy a million times” Fanny said pulling Nigel into the room as Rachel giggled at the getup Nigel was wearing.
“I’m no Nigel I’m a Luigi from the keyhole inspectors association and I’m a going to bake you a pizza pie, just as soon as you’s lady lets go of Luigi’s collar”.
“Absolutely pathetic and to let you know Luigi your now on my bad side and that means you have to deal with me being your bully all four years of College, get my drift?”.
“Luigi get’s your drift now to bake you a pizza pie because I’m a Luigi and not Nigel” Nigel said giving himself away as Fanny’s smile became wider and Nigel gulped.
“Funny I never mentioned your first name Luigi just your last name, now you have to deal with the fact that I’m never going to leave you alone” Fanny said as she got closer to Nigel poking his chest.
“I’m not a Nigel I’m a Luigi here to bake you a pizza pie now Luigi needs Pizza dough, sauce, cheese, and a nice a pepperoni” Nigel said as Fanny pushed him onto his bed and ripped his fake moustache off as he yelped in pain.
“Was this in your dream too Mrs. Dream Liver?, because if it was do you like seeing me in pain?” Nigel asked as Rachel just shook her head smiling.
“If this was in my dream I would have been laughing my head off but it wasn’t, now you have a new best friend which just so happens to also be your girlfriends best friend” Rachel said as Fanny ripped Nigel’s clothes off.
We see a tatoo on Nigel’s chest that says Nigel and Rachel 4 eva in a heart as Fanny smiled at it.
“Aww isn’t that cute a tat with your girlfriends name on it, now beat it bully bait unless you really want to hurt” Fanny said cracking her knuckles and looking over at Nigel.
“But I have no clothes what do you expect me to do with no clothes on?, I mean people are going to notice a naked man in the hall and besides this is my room too so you leave” Nigel said as he was lifted from the ground and thrown back into the hallway.
“And to think I was going to give you clothes but you just lost that luxury Uno, now you have to watch as people stare and laugh at you.
The door slammed in Nigel’s face as he got close to the keyhole again to hear Fanny and Rachel talking about Hoagie.
“So what should I do Rache?, I mean he helped me and I think he’s a little cute I guess I mean he’s Hoagie P. Gilligan after all” Fanny said as Wally came walking down the hall with Kuki.
“Ahhhhhhhhh I’m blind quick Wally cover my eyes before it’s permanent and you have to date a blind girl” Kuki said seeing Nigel naked outside his dorm door.
“Uhhhhh Numbah one why aren’t you fully clothed and what are you doing outside Numbah 362’s door?” Wally asked as Nigel waved his hand to silence Wally.
“Well Fan I think you should at least give Hoagie a chance, I mean come on he did help you carry your bags into your room after all” Rachel said as Wally got closer to the door.
“I’ll ask again why aren’t you wearing clothes and why are you spying on Rachel Nigel?, I have to say your taking the bad boyfriend to a new level”.
“I’m not clothed because Fanny Fullbright has become my new best friend, and I’m not spying on Rachel I’m spying on Fanny because she kind of loves Hoagie” Nigel said as Kuki stayed as far away from Nigel as she could.
“I guess I could take him out for a slice of pizza or something for helping me, I mean it’s only fair am I right?” Fanny asked as Hoagie walked up with a big smile on his face.
“Became Fanny’s new bully chewtoy huh?, I was her chew toy all through high school”.
“Yea well I bet she never made you sit butt naked in a hallway trying to get into your own room” Nigel said as Hoagie laughed harder.
“Actually she did more than once, she was Tommy’s babysitter and I was the one that got tortured instead of it being the other way around” Hoagie said seeing Nigel listen into the keyhole.
“Anything interesting Nigel?, or are they just talking about makeup and stuff like that?”
Fanny opened the door smiling down at Nigel as she saw Hoagie and blushed at him.
“Exactly how long have you been here Gilligan?, long enough for me to pulverize you?” Fanny asked as Hoagie shook his head still staring at Fanny’s eyes.
“Look Gilligan 1 I have a new chewtoy as you can plainly see, and 2 I want to know if you would like to get a slice of pizza tonight, I know this great place about three blocks over” Fanny said rubbing Nigel’s hair still smiling at him.
“Pizza sounds great Fan, I’ll meet you downstairs at 7:00 or it could be earlier if you like” Hoagie said as Fanny smiled at him seeing the first boy she didn’t want to hit.
Well that’s that for now please reply and I understand if some people can’t get in because of the R rating which I explained why it was R in the 1st chapter