(#) mysilentromance 2010-03-09 02:29:49 PMC- on this?! I don't see how that's possible. It's not depressing - it's real and honest.
I know my opinion doesn't count when it comes to your grades, but I think this deserves a much much higher grade. You put yourself out there and didn't pretend to be someone you're not for the sake of getting a good grade. That should be rewarded, not looked down upon.
This was beautiful. And I truly mean that.
Author's responseThank you! :) Even though this story is short, I worked hard on it! I was actually even doubting turning it in to my teacher. I was so bummed out when she gave it a C- -_- But you telling me it was beautiful, meant alot to me and I thank you once again
(#) TheGiinger 2010-03-09 02:37:52 PMThis is good, really good- but it needs more depth! Maybe add some history in there of her explaining the first time she realised she was ugly (in her POV not mine!) and how shes leant to accept and embrace it a little.
You could make her show more emotion around Frank, they could have more bodily contact.
This is a good stating point, but you could totally have so much fun with it, stretching it in loads of directions, with loads of hidden meanings of low self-esteem etc
Love Rae xo
Author's responseI thought I might do that. Like go in her past or something idk yet. Thank you for reading it btw :)
(#) MyFamousLastWords 2010-03-09 02:43:41 PMI both agree with TheGiinger and mysilentromance, but at the same time I think it's still really good the way it is, and also a C-?! I think it should have gotten a higher grade. Loving the last line too.
And thank you for reviewing on "famous words" I didn't even remember that shit still existed.
Author's responseI think it deserves at least a B or something...
Your welcome! That story made me laugh for a long time! Yesterday in class I thought about it and I started laughing in middle of class when everyone was quiet lol
(#) _Amy_Revenge_ 2010-03-09 07:06:21 PMI can see why it would be "depressing" but at the same time WTF? I think at least a B would be great :) My creative writing teacher would've agreed with me ^^
I lurve it :) And I was just thinking about that song last night as I was bawling my eyes out >.>
What happened to that other one-shot you posted? At least.. I THINK it was you.. ^^
Author's responseI think it deserved a B too! Thanks for lurving it too! Oh and I kinda stole that word from you >.> lol sorry.
And yes that was me. I deleted it. I didn't like how it coming out
(#) adrenaline_bomb 2011-04-11 05:20:29 AMThat deserved a much better grade.
I wouldn't worry about it though, my teacher once told us to write a horror/romance in class and I based mine on a bit of a high school Frerard.
He gave me a low grade because being gay is 'wrong' so I was just like "You're in for a shock then" she looked confused and I said "I'm bisexual and I fuck you're daughter." That was in my last year of primary (year six- don't know what it is in America) and he lowered is even more =/
But yours did deserve a MUCH better grade, it wasn't depressing, it was deep and honest and you were putting yourself out there. Well done, Jackie gives you a B because that's what it deserves.