Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Love Me to the Death

Breakdown

by devilsgyrl 0 reviews

Amy gets attacked by Izzy's ex-girlfriend and then gets her heart broken...again.

Category: Motley Crue - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2010-03-15 - Updated: 2010-03-15 - 15253 words

-1TrainWreck
"Um...yeah," I answered, bewildered. How the hell did this strange woman know who I was? I could've sworn that I had never seen her before. There had to be something that she wanted from me since she seemed to have been stalking me all night. Feeling a little apprehensive, I asked, "How did you know my name?"
The woman let out a ludicrous laugh that didn't seem to match her soft, lilting voice, "Why, how could I not know who Amy is? All I ever hear about is how Amy is so sweet and gentle and lovable. But I know better!" The woman took a step towards me in tall stiletto heels that clunked across the floor.
My heart was starting to pick up the pace a bit as she approached me. Something about this situation didn't seem quite right. I want out of the bathroom. Before I could make a move, the woman thrust a perfectly-manicured finger under my chin so I was forced to look right into her crystal clear blue eyes, "You've never even had sex with him, have you?"
The stripper woman was crazy. I had no idea what she was talking about. Despite her delicate little figure, she seemed to have a an audacious personality. She must have been drinking. I took a step backwards and eyed her warily, "Um, maybe you want to start from the beginning and tell me what you're talking about? I have no fucking clue who you are."
The girl's eyes opened wide. It was only then that I realized just how large her eyes were. They had a wild, desperate look to them and they seemed much to large for his small, pointed face, "You honestly don't know who I am? Now that surprises me, little Amy. I'm surprised your lover hasn't told you about me. It's a shame he hasn't...a real shame..."
Suddenly, things clicked in my head. This woman had to be Shelia! She must have been checking me out earlier while I had been sitting with Izzy. That explained all the weird glances she had given me. Axl had also said that this place was called the "Gold Club." I hadn't given it a second thought earlier, but now I remembered Izzy saying that he had met Shelia at the Gold Club.
Unable to keep my revelation to myself, I burst out, "You must be Shelia! Izzy has told me about you." Shelia's lips curled upward in sickly satisfaction, "Ah, I figured he would. The man never forgot about me even though he wishes he could have. So tell me, what exactly has he told you about me?"
"Uh..." I hesitated, not sure what to say. Then I remembered Izzy saying that Shelia was having his first child. I looked over at Shelia's paper thin waist. She certainly didn't look like she was pregnant. Suspicious, I frowned at Shelia and accused, "He said you were pregnant. But you aren't, are you? There's no way you could be."
Shelia looked down at her flat stomach and gave another batty chuckle, "Of course I'm not pregnant. I only told Izzy that in an attempt to get him back. He know he wants me deep down inside, he just can't bring himself to admit it with you little bitch around. You're the only thing that's separating me from him."
I was getting upset now. Shelia had actually lied to Izzy! And now she was trying to...make me do something? I still was unsure of what she wanted. I flinched at her last sentence and retorted, "I love Izzy and he loves me. I'm not in your way, Shelia. There are plenty of men out there. Go find someone else."
Shelia's aquamarine eyes flashed venomously, "You just don't get it, do you? You have no fucking idea how much Izzy meant to me or how much love we shared. You think Izzy actually loves you? Well, let me tell you something; he certainly doesn't. He hasn't even made love to you once, has he?"
That touched a nerve and sent me over the edge, "It's none of your business! What the fuck do you want from me, Shelia?" Shelia quickly took control of herself and passed a sappy smile on her red, glossy lips, "Break up with him. Now. Right in front of me." I stared at her in dismay. She had really lost it.
"Hell, no!" I snapped back and tried to push my way around her to get to the door. "Izzy is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I'm not going to let him go so he can get back with a girlfriend who he intentionally broke up with." Shelia cocked a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me, "You're not, hm? Well, I guess I'm gonna have to do this the hard way then. What a pity. You seem like such a sweet child."
Annoyed at Shelia's pathetic behavior, I reached out a hand to the door to the bathroom and tried to yank it open. It didn't budge even it a centimeter. An ominous feeling came over me and I felt like panicking. Turning angrily to Shelia, I threatened, "Let me out now! This is stupid, Shelia. Very stupid. You do know that someone is going to come looking for me sooner or later."
"I'm sure they will," Shelia agreed pleasantly, "The only thing is, you won't still be in here." She grabbed my arm and sliced through my skin with her razor-sharp nails. I tried to pull away from her, but her grip was strong. I would never have suspected that this woman was strong. Her fragile figure and perfect profile indicated weakness.
Shelia kicked open the wooden door at the far corner of the room and dragged me inside of it. It was a very dark room. There wasn't a single light in the room. It felt damp inside and I noticed several spider webs hanging from the corners of the room. A single chair was centered in the middle of the room. Besides for that, the room was barren.
Shelia pushed me down into the chair and stuffed a rag into my mouth as a gag. I scowled at her and tried to pull it out, but Shelia was already there. Her freakishly long fingernails had already dug into my hands. She pulled them to my sides and grabbed a piece of rope from the corner of the room that I hadn't noticed before.
Fear seemed to have taken hold of everything inside of me. I had no idea what was going to happen to me. I wanted to scream and shout, but knew it would be pointless. The gag prevented me from making any sound and besides, the music in the club was on full blast so even if I did scream, nobody would hear me. I also wanted to ask Shelia what she was planning on doing to me with the rope, but of course, I couldn't do that either.
Shelia seemed to have read my question through my eyes because her next words were, "You're wondering what I'm going to do to you, aren't you? Well you'll just have to wait and see. Patience is the key, darling." Shelia's eyes were bulging out of her thin skull as she pulled the rope around my wrist and knotted it tightly.
My eyes watered with the pain and I knew I screamed. Shelia gave me a fake saddened look, "I'm so sorry, little Amy. Too bad you hadn't just agreed to break up with Izzy like a good little girl. Then we wouldn't be here." Shelia moved to my other wrist and yanked the rope around it as well. It scrapped against my skin and I could see blood tricking where the rope had entered my skin. Shelia yanked down on it with all her strength and this time I let out a scream that was audible even through the gag.
"Fuck you!" Shelia cursed and slapped my mouth with a pale, bony hand. "Be quiet if you value your last minutes of life." Tears of pain were now streaming down my cheeks and my hands were starting to turn white. The rope was cutting of my circulation at a rapid speed. In a sudden move, I tried to jump out of the chair. Through the gag, I screamed, "Please let me go, Shelia! I'll break up with Izzy or do whatever you want. Please just let me go!"
Shelia stuck out her lip in a pout, "Why couldn't you have just said that earlier? Now it's too late. I'm sorry dear." Eyes flashing and anger ripping through my veins, I shrieked, "Shelia, you can't just try to kill me and then leave me in here. People would eventually find out what happened to me. You know that." I tried to make my voice sound strong, but it came out weak and trembling. Shelia just shrugged, "I don't care anymore. I just want Izzy."
The woman didn't care if she got caught as a murderer? She truly was insane. She could kill me here if she wished and she wouldn't even give a shit about my dead body. Something didn't seem right about that. Maybe she had some mental disease. My hands were starting to go numb and I could tell my circulation was starting to get cut off.
I glanced anxiously towards the door, praying with all my might that someone would discover us in here and lock Shelia up in prison. Shelia walked around my chair in a little circle, smiling devilishly all the while, "Does it hurt? Your wrists I mean?" I scowled at her and continued to stare hopefully at the door.
"Nobody knows about this room except me," Shelia stated a-matter-of-factly, following my gaze to the door. "Besides, even if they did know about this room, they wouldn't be able to get in here because I locked the door to the bathroom, remember?" It felt like icy fingertips were squeezing the blood out of my heart.
I was in a frenzy now. What happened if my circulation got completely cut off? Would I lose the feeling in my hands for the rest of my life? I shuddered and prayed for a guardian angel to come safe me from this hell. Shelia just continued to smile at me as she paced around the room. It was like she was drinking up my pain. It was like fuel to her.
Just when I thought I could no longer feel my fingertips, a loud smash came from a close distance away. Could it be the bathroom door opening? Could someone possibly be here to rescue me? A little tiny bit of hope sparked instead me then quickly faded as I looked at my ghostly white hands in the darkness.
"Shit!" Shelia hissed under her breath as she stared at the door with narrowed eyes. Mumbling under her breath she added, "Well, I guess this only calls for one thing..." Shelia yanked up one of the dusty wooden floorboards with a yank. I was surprised to see it break lose. Did Shelia have a secret room underneath this one?
I watched curiously as Shelia stuck in the hole where the loose floorboard had been. After rummaging around for a few seconds, she pulled something black and shiny out of the hole. Everything in my body seemed to freeze as Shelia picked up the black object. It glittered malevolently in the darkness; it didn't take me any longer to figure out it was a small gun.
I would never ever have guessed that a stripper like Shelia would've known how to use a gun, but Shelia was clearly no ordinary girl. She was either fucked up from drugs or she was completely whacked. Another bang came from outside the door. It sounded closer this time. Please, if there was any mercy in the world, hurry up and open the door!
Shelia smiled viciously at me as she approached. She held the gun to my throat and slurred quietly, "Just be still, and it won't hurt too much. Screaming isn't going end the pain." I stared up at Shelia in horror, completely forgetting about the pain coming from my wrists. The woman was going to shoot me with someone only a door away? She couldn't be serious, could she?
One look at Shelia's face told me that she most certainly was serious. My breath starting coming in little puffs and my heart was thundering against my chest in terror. Just as Shelia raised the gun, a booming smash sounded from behind us. The wooden door burst open, revealing three figures in the doorway. Light trickled into the room. It felt like light coming from heaven.
Two of the figures were security guards from the club. They were both holding guns of their own and were squinting into the darkness, trying to adjust their eyes to this new lighting. The third figure was Izzy. He looked just like an angel standing in the doorway with light surrounding him. His dark gray eyes searched the room and then came to rest on me and Shelia.
The security guards were rushing towards Shelia, but stopped when she held up a hand. In a menacing voice, she screeched, "Stop, or I'll shoot her!" To prove her point, Shelia shoved the tip of the gun against my throat. I stared at with sweat dripping down my forehead. My whole body was shaking and I couldn't feel my hands at all.
Shelia had us trapped. If the guards made a move on her, she would kill me. If I tried to move, she would kill me. Every option seemed to end with my death. I knew it was possible to live through a gunshot, but someone as weak as me wouldn't stand a chance. While I was starting to think that all was lost, something caught the corner of Shelia's eye.
She immediately whirled around and tried to hide the gun behind her back. Shelia plastered a sugary smile on her blood red lips and took a step towards Izzy. Even in my state of panic, I couldn't help but feel a flash of envy as she moved close to him. Shelia slipped her hand under Izzy's shirt and stroked his chest with two fingers. Leaning towards him so that they were only millimeters apart, Shelia whispered, "I knew you'd come back to see me again."
Without waiting for a response, she took Izzy's lips inside hers and kissed him passionately. Although her eyes were shut and she seemed to be living in the moment, I could tell Izzy's eyes were focused on me. I knew it was time to make my escape. Shelia was no longer holding me pinned to the chair. All I had to do was get up out of the chair and escape out the open door. It would be simple, right? Not exactly. I would have to be absolutely soundless. If I made a wrong move, well...it would be too late for me. Deftly and swiftly, I stood up from my chair.
Shelia was still kissing Izzy, but I could see her left hand was still fastened tightly on the gun in her left hand. I took a hesitant step forward and then another. The door seemed to be only two steps away. If I could only make it through the door, I would be safe. I took one more step, thinking about reaching my safe haven.
That was when I made my mistake. In my haste, I forgot that I was suppose to be moving noiselessly. My foot came down on the ancient wooden floorboards with an agonizingly, loud creak. Swearing under my breath, I froze where I was standing and hoped with all my might that Shelia hadn't heard me. But of course, she had. Everything that happened next when by in a blur.
Shelia swung around at the sound of the creaking floorboard and whipped her gun around so that it was pointing at my chest. I knew I should duck, run, or at least do something, but my legs were statues beneath. All I could do was stare paralyzed into her blazing, blue gaze. Suddenly, I felt myself being thrown to the ground.
I fell to the ground just as the sound of a gunshot sounded in the room...just above my head. I tried to breathe, but something was holding me against the ground. A clatter and small shriek sounded from somewhere in the distance, "Let me go, you bastards!" It had to have been Shelia. The security guards must have managed to grab her when she fired the gun.
I heard the sound of footsteps fading away as the guards dragged a kicking and screaming Shelia out the doorway. Hopefully, she was going to a jail cell. I had absolutely no sympathy for that woman. She deserved to be locked up. Even though I knew Shelia was gone, my heart was hammering rapidly in my chest and I still couldn't breathe.
Whatever had been on top of me shifted slightly, and I could see once more. Izzy was leaning over me with his black hair plastered against his face with sweat. His gray eyes were full of angst as he asked, "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Amy. This is all my fault. Are you hurt at all?"
I glanced up to see a hole in the wall just centimeters above Izzy's head. Izzy must have pushed me to the ground when Shelia had pulled the trigger to keep me safe. Then he had thrown himself on top of me to protect me. What had I ever done to deserve a guy like Izzy? Thank god he had found me before it was too late.
I lifted up a hand to show Izzy my tied up wrists. His brow furrowed and he searched in his pocket for a little knife. He immediately started slicing through the ropes that bound my hands. I wanted to say something, but I still couldn't find my breath. My heart seemed like it was about to burst out of my chest and the world started spinning faster and faster until everything blurred together and all went black.
My eyelids fluttered open what seemed like an eternity later. It had probably only been ten or fifteen minutes since I had passed out though. Gazing around, I noticed that I was still in the same, darkened room where Shelia had brought me. It seemed creepy in here. My top priority at the moment was to get out of this forsaken room and get back out to the club.
My thoughts traveled back to my wrists. Did I dare look at them? If they were all shriveled up and dead like in movies, I was going to scream. Apprehensively, I slowly let my gaze wander to my wrists. My hands actually had a bit of color to them. They were still pale, but they were alive! I tried wiggling my index finger. To my delight, it actually moved!
Suddenly, I realized I was leaning against something...someone. I was curled up in Izzy's lap and he was clutching me against his chest. One of his hands was massaging my wrist to keep the nerves in it active and the other hand was holding me tightly. Izzy had buried his head against my shoulder and hadn't realized I had woken up from my daze.
I considered not telling him I had awakened. I really like being this close to Izzy. He hadn't held me this close before. It was as if he was afraid of losing me. Just as I let out a sigh of contentment and was about to close my eyes, Izzy lifted his head from my shoulder and turned over to look at me, "You're awake! That's a good sign. How are your hands? Can you feel anything?"
Izzy pulled back away from me slightly as if he was embarrassed for embracing me. I wanted to press back against him, but knew I had to keep my distance to keep him in his comfort zone. Instead, I answered the question, "Yeah, I can feel again. They were sort of numb before, but they're okay now. Thanks for saving me."
Izzy put a finger to my lips to keep me from going on, "Please don't. If it weren't for me, you would never have been in this situation. I had always known Shelia was crazy, but I would never have guessed she was this crazy. Are you mad at me? I never should've brought you to this club. I knew Shelia came here, but I just didn't know..."
"Izzy, shut up!" I commanded. Izzy shut up and gazed up at me helplessly. I continued, "All that is bullshit, Izzy. The only person I'm mad at right now is Shelia. But she's on her way to prison, so I'm not going to worry about her anywhere. I must say, she did seem to be really in love with you though from the way she talked about you."
"She didn't...uh...tell you anything weird about me, did she?" Izzy asked, blushing slightly. I wondered what kinds of "weird things" Izzy was referring to. I shook my head, "No, she didn't tell me anything weird about you. By the way, how did you find us in here? Did you check the bathroom when I didn't come out?"
"Um hm," Izzy confirmed, "I got suspicious when you didn't come outside in five minutes. I went back inside the club and tried the bathroom door, but it was locked. I got the security guards and somehow they managed to unlock the door. Then I told them that you were probably in this room." Izzy waved a hand around to indicate the room that we were still sitting in.
A spider web reflected in the light and I noticed for the first time that there was a black spider the size of my thumb sitting happily in the center of it. I didn't like spiders much. They were the only bug that I really couldn't stand looking at. To distract myself, I asked Izzy another question, "How did you know about this room though? It looked like a secret room or something. It's kind of hard to see from the bathroom unless you get up close to it. It sort of blends in with the wall."
"Uh..." Izzy stuttered. A blush rose from his neck to his cheeks, "Shelia brought me in here one night to...um..." Izzy clearly didn't want to finish the sentence. I had already assumed what they had done in this room though. It was a pretty creepy place to have sex. Shelia must've gone nuts even from the beginning.
"Should we go back to the club and see how the others are doing?" I questioned Izzy. He shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose so. This isn't exactly a great place to spend our night. Do you think you can stand?" I figured I could. After all, it wasn't like I had broken a bone or anything. Pressing one hand against the wall for support, I slowly put one foot on the floor and came to a standing position. My legs felt a little weak, but they held me easily enough.
Izzy stood up next to me and entwined my fingers with his. I smiled up at him as we slipped through the doorway to the bathroom and back out into the club. The club seemed absolutely no different than when I had seen it last. Most likely nobody had even noticed the incident with Shelia. Some people probably noticed the security guards dragging Shelia out the door, but they probably had no fucking idea why.
I peered around the club until I found the table where we had been sitting at earlier. It was completely deserted. The only things left on it were an overturned wine glass and a bottle of vodka. I frowned and asked Izzy, "Do you have any idea where the others are? You don't think Axl would just have left without tell us he was leaving, do you?"
Izzy opened his mouth to answer just as Chris, the other guitarist from Axl's new band, appeared at my elbow. He smiled politely at me before turning to Izzy, "Hey Iz, do you want to practice with me tomorrow morning? I thought it might be nice for us guitarists to do a little practicing by ourselves."
As a second thought, he hurried on, "It's not that I don't like practicing with the others. It's just...I don't know...I think we might accomplish more if we practice by ourselves." Izzy nodded understandingly. It wasn't too hard to tell that Chris didn't seem to like working with Axl. Normally, Axl wasn't so hard to work with, but this situation with Erin had put him constantly in a bad mood.
"Sure, that sounds like a good idea," Izzy agreed, "What time do you want to practice tomorrow morning? We can meet at my house." Chris glanced down at the black watch on his wrist and suggested, "Hm, anytime works for me really. What do you say about nine? It's not too early and not too late in the day."
"Sounds great," Izzy smiled a smile that lit up his pale, gray eyes, "I'll see you then. Say, you haven't seen Axl by any chance have you?" Chris cast a nervous look over his shoulder, "I think he went that way. I haven't exactly been hanging out with him though, so he might've gone somewhere else without me noticing."
Izzy pulled me in the direction Chris had indicated. A few minutes later, I eyed a familiar auburn head sitting at a fully occupied table. I walked around to the left to get a better view of what was going on. Axl was slumped back in his chair, still holding his bottle of vodka from earlier. I had noticed that he had stripped of his shirt. His bare chest sparkled in darkness of the club.
Three beautiful girls were sitting at the table with him. One girl had taken hold of his free hand and the other girls were staring at him intensely with mouthwatering expressions on their faces. I looked over at Izzy uneasily. I didn't think I liked the way Axl was sitting with all three girls. I didn't mind it if Axl wanted to sit with one girl, but to tease all three girls like this was just cruel.
"Um...Axl?" Izzy inquired awkwardly. Axl pulled his sunglasses up onto his forehead to get a good look at us. He had been smiling, but when he say us, his smile vanished, "There you two are! You spent the last half hour in the bathroom. What the fuck have you been doing in there this whole time?"
Axl's eyes traveled up my rumpled dress and then onto Izzy's flushed cheeks and sweaty brow. He scowled angrily at our clasped hands and burst out, "You didn't...you know...in the middle of the girls' bathroom, did you?" The girls sitting around Axl giggled lightly and peered up at us. One of the girls fluttered her eyelashes at Izzy. I squeezed his hand possessively.
"Geez, Axl, is sex all you can think about? I mean, I know this argument with Erin is driving you nuts, but can't you just make up with her?" Izzy cried out in exasperation. Axl completely forgot the attractive girls simpering over him and shot back, "No, I can't! Just fuck off, will you? None of this is any of your business. Just go...do something!"
Izzy shrugged, "As you wish." Izzy led me back over to the bar. I selected a small table for us while Izzy went to get us something to drink. A moment later, he came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. After he poured us something to drink, he settled down in the chair next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder once more.
I nestled against him as the two of us slowly sipped our wine. Both of us seemed much too tired to talk. Normally, silences were awkward, but in this situation it was alright. There wasn't any need to talk. We were both content just leaning against each other, listening to the rock 'n roll, and drinking our wine.
Unfortunately, we weren't alone for long. One of the chairs to our table scraped backwards and a figure slumped into it, "So...what were you guys doing in there anyways?" Oh no, it was Axl again. Now I wanted him to just fuck off! I was trying to spend some quality time with Izzy and he had to come over and stir up the pot again.
"Doing in where?" Izzy asked without looking over at Axl. He refilled our wine glasses and took a long sip from his. Axl sighed said in a voice that you would use when talking to a dumb child, "The bathroom. Remember? You two were doing something in there earlier. What the hell happened?"
"Shelia locked me up in there," I replied sedately. Axl's eyebrows shot up and I figured his eyes were wide even though I couldn't tell because he still had his brown sunglasses on, "Shelia? You mean that whore Izzy used to get drunk and fuck with?" That was enough to get Izzy's attention. He gave Axl a murderous look and said, "Keep your comments to yourself, will you?"
Axl shrugged, not looking the slightest bit offended, "Sure, whatever. So was Shelia the girl I saw the guards take outside earlier?" I nodded, "Yeah." Axl leaned forward and whispered, "Izzy, did you know that the bitch you were fucking with was a murderer too? God...I wish Erin was here."
Izzy was getting pretty pissed off at this point, "Axl, this isn't really something to laugh about. If you say one more thing about Shelia and me, I'm moving tables. So keep your shitty mouth shut, alright?" I was only half listening to their argument. I had leaned my head against Izzy's shoulder and was breathing his scent in deeply.
"Yeah, sure," Axl slurred and then shot a glance over at me and added, "Maybe you should head out anyways. Amy looks like she's going to fall asleep or something." I jerked my head off of Izzy's shoulder and tried to look alert, "I'm not falling asleep. I'm wide awake." Izzy carefully searched my face and I could tell that he didn't believe me.
"Amy, why don't we head back to my place now?" Izzy suggested. "It's gotten late and I'll wind up drunk if we stay here much longer. Besides, I wouldn't mind getting away from him!" Izzy pointed an accusing finger at Axl. Axl merely laughed. Sometimes I thought he enjoyed driving Izzy mad.
Knowing that I didn't really have a choice, I shrugged, "If that's want you want to do." Izzy muffled a yawn and nodded. Axl laughed again, "Don't let him fall asleep on the road, Amy! Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow for band practice. Don't you forget, Izzy!" Izzy rolled his eyes while I picked up my purse.
As soon as we had left the table, the group of girls from earlier immediately took our seats and started fawning over Axl once more. I frowned at them as I trailed out the club door behind Izzy. I couldn't tell if I didn't like the girls because I was envious or if maybe I was just being protective of Axl.
A cold gust of air slapped me in the face as we exited the club. Izzy glanced behind his shoulder to look at me, "You aren't going to try to drive all the way home tonight, are you?" I gave him an are-you-crazy look and shook my head, "No, of course not. It's way too dark out and knowing me, I'd probably get into an accident."
Izzy smiled and thrust open the door to his truck that was adjacent to my jetta, "Why don't you just follow me back to my house? It's only about five minutes from here. We can decide what to do after that, okay?" Already getting into the car, I agreed, "Yeah." Izzy started up his car with a loud rumble before swerving around and pulling out of the parking lot.
I copied his moves, not really thinking about the road or my driving. All I could think about was what Izzy and I were going to "do next." I was glad I hadn't gotten drunk tonight otherwise I would've passed out a long time ago. My body was already feeling fatigued and I had to do everything I could to keep my eyes open.



Just as Izzy had said, we arrived back at his house almost exactly five minutes later. I pulled into the driveway and parked my car behind his. The little house was barely recognizable in the dark. It just looked like a big, black mass silhouetted in the moonlight. Stretching my arms, I turned the car off and tumbled outside.
Izzy had already gotten out and was leaning against his car, waiting for me. As soon as I approached him, he took my hand and let us into the house through the garage door. The wind practically blew me inside and I was thankful when Izzy slammed the door shut behind us. The living room seemed warm and cozy compared to the frigid night outside.
Izzy turned to me with an undecided look on his face. It appeared that he was thinking about something but he hadn't made up his mind about it quite yet, "So, Amy, what do you want to do? I could drive you over to a hotel if you wanted or you could just stay here with me. You can stay in that bedroom you were in last time."
"Oh, I'll just stay here," I answered quickly. I hadn't quite figured out how I was suppose to get Izzy to know that I wanted him to love me tonight. I was awful and suggesting things like that. I was still trying to figure out what to say when Izzy opened a door at the far end of the living room. It was the bedroom Axl and Erin had slept in last time I stayed here.
I started to follow Izzy instead the door, but Izzy jerked to a halt inside the entrance. I came to a slamming stop behind him and careened my neck over his shoulder to see what had caused him to stop. A beautiful woman with shiny brown curls was sitting on the bed with her chin resting on her knees.
It didn't take me long to recognize her; Erin. Izzy asked in a surprised tone, "What are you doing here, Erin? I didn't know you were coming over." Erin smiled from the bed and explained, "I'm waiting for Axl. He's coming here soon, isn't he? He'll probably be too drunk to want to drive the whole half hour back to his place after being at the club."
Izzy shrugged, "I don't know. Axl is pretty unpredictable sometimes. Anyways, can you try to make up with Axl? He's been down in the dumps all day. I don't think I can stand him in this mood much longer." Erin nodded vigorously, "Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Hey, is that you, Amy?"
I slid under Izzy's arm and waved, "Yep. It's nice to see you again, Erin." Erin looked from me to Izzy and then back to me with a grin sliding across her red lips, "Are you staying here tonight, Amy? Do you have anything to sleep in?" I frowned at her, not quite sure what she meant, "Um, yeah, I'm staying here. What do you mean by something to sleep in?"
Erin rolled her eyes and slid off the bed and onto the floor, "I mean pajamas and stuff. Here, you can search in this drawer and pick something out." Erin slid open a wooden drawer to reveal several thin, lacy pieces of lingerie. I risked a look at Izzy over my shoulder. He was looking out the window and not paying attention to us at all.
I picked a black and red piece of lingerie from the drawer and thanked Erin, "This is really nice of you to let me borrow this stuff. I take it that you stay here pretty often?" Erin leaned back her head and laughed heartily, "Oh, you have no idea! Axl and I practically live here! Axl's place is...eh...not the nicest."
I nodded understandingly, "Yeah, I noticed." Erin grinned and waved me out the door, "Off you two go! I'll just stay here and wait up for Axl. You don't mind do you, Izzy?" Izzy, who had been staring out the window transfixed, turned around, "Nah, I don't mind. Believe me, I'll be very happy when you get Axl out of his depression or whatever it is he's going through."
Izzy shut the door quietly behind us and directed me to the bedroom I had stayed at last time. He kicked the door open easily with just one foot. The door swung open noiselessly. Izzy dragged me inside and locked the door behind us with a click. My heart was starting to pick up speed. Izzy turned to me and looked me right in the eyes. I stared right back into them, hypnotized by the beauty of them. The room was dark and quiet. Only the moonlight shining in from the one window allowed me to see at all.
We continued to stare at each other with anticipation, hesitation, and apprehension. I could see a dozen different emotions running through Izzy's head. The only emotion going through my brain was longing. I wanted Izzy. Now. It couldn't wait.
Izzy seemed to be having the same thoughts. Just before I thought I was going to go insane just looking at him, he crushed me to him and took hold of my lips in a passionate kiss.
I sighed and enjoyed the feel of Izzy's lips traveling over every part of mine. I kissed him back and rested my tongue against his lips. He opened his mouth slightly to allow my tongue to slid inside his lips. The tips of our tongues touched briefly. Izzy was pulling me closer against him now. He took a step closer to the bed, bringing me along with him.
Meanwhile, I let my tongue explore the inside of his mouth in places I hadn't explored before. This was the first time Izzy and I had ever kissed like this. Usually Izzy had a barrier up around him, but tonight, the barrier had smashed and crumbled to the ground. I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or passion that caused it to break, but I didn't care. I just wanted this wall to stay down forever. Without warning, Izzy jerked away from me.
I frowned up at him, wondering what the hell he might be doing. My lips were already missing the softness of his tongue flicking over them. Izzy slipped out of turquoise blue shirt and tossed it aside before coming back to my mouth for more. As our lips touched once more, I felt my eyes traveling over him.
His bare chest seemed to shine in the darkness surrounding us. I could feel his heart beating against mine as we pressed against each other. The only thing between us now was my flimsy summer dress I had decided to wear to the club. Izzy swept a hand under my knees and thrust another one under my back so he holding me.
As we broke away from our kiss for air, the two of us locked eyes once more. In Izzy's eyes, I saw a burning black flame that I had never seen before. Izzy crossed the remaining two steps to the burgundy bed and stripped back the sheets before laying me down on the far left side of it. It didn't even take a mere millisecond before Izzy was lying on the bed next to me.
I twisted onto my side, already hungering for more of him. Izzy had already slid against me and was sliding his tongue over the exposed part of my chest. I threw my arms around his neck as his tongue worked over me and stroked his back with one hand. In a swift movement, Izzy gently knocked me onto my back onto a supine position.
He laid down on top of me and yanked down the straps of my dress. It slid off of me easily, leaving me in my bra and panties. Izzy dragged his tongue from my belly to my neck and back down again. His hands were exploring my chest, tracing the shape of my breasts and feeling the shape of my hips.
As we lay pressed together, I could feel our two rapidly beating hearts start to sync together until they were beating as one. Izzy's dark hair flopped over his eyes as he slid his tongue under my bra and started to mess with the clasp behind me back. I arched upwards to help him unclasp it. As soon as he had my bra off, he ran a hand over my thigh and pulled my legs apart with the over hand. My heart was pounding against my chest and my head seemed to be spinning in a daze of Izzy.
Suddenly, the sound of a door slamming sounded from the far distance. Izzy's body froze and the two of us listened in silence as the intruder in the living room slammed the door shut behind him and stomped into the kitchen. A faint voice called sweetly, "Axl...is that you?" The stomping stopped and a hopeful, slurred voice answered, "Erin?"
Light footsteps sounded as Erin padded into the living room to where Axl was standing. I could hear her musical voice replying, "Who else would be waiting in your bed? I'm so sorry for arguing with you the other day about the band. It was stupid and all my fault. Please forgive me, Axl, I can't sleep without you."
"Oh, it's okay," Axl replied with a softened voice, "It was my fault too. Let's just put that behind us now." I imagined Erin nodding, her rich brunette curls bouncing on her shoulders, " Yes, let's." Silence fell again before I heard the sounds soft, sweet kissing. Erin let out a soft whimper and whispered, "Oh god, I've missed you."
"I've missed you more," Axl replied a-matter-of-factly. I had to admit he was right. He had barely been able to make it through the day without Erin around. The creaking of the couch echoed as Axl and Erin slid on top of it, unable to make it to the bedroom. Now that there was no more drama to listen to, I turned back to Izzy.
He was still straddled on top of me, but something had changed. His gray eyes were clouded with confusion and he was looking at me with an odd expression that I couldn't read. Hoping that I wasn't doing something wrong, I placed a light hand on Izzy's chest and asked him questioningly, "Izzy?"
Izzy shook his head as if he were trying to shake something off. He swatted the dark hair off his forehead and rolled off of me. Instead of staying in the bed besides me, he got off of it completely and stood by the side of the bed. I stuck my lip out in a pout and tried to grab for his hand. Just as I was about to reach out for his fingertips, he jerked his hand back. My hand clasped around thin air instead. What the fuck was going on?
Pulling my hand back, I tried to repress the hurt inside me. Izzy was looking more that delectable half naked in the moonlight by the window. I couldn't let him tease me just standing there. I needed to have him. Moaning, I shot him a hurt look, "Izzy!" Izzy was biting his lip in the corner of his mouth and was still eying me with that odd expression.
"Izzy, what's going on?" I asked him, sitting up in bed. The sheets fell down around me, leaving me sitting half naked. Izzy yanked the sheets back over my chest and whispered, "I'm sorry, Amy." I pulled the sheet tightly against my chest and eyed him with confusion, "What are you doing? Come on, Izzy, please stop playing with me. Can't you see how much I need you?"
Izzy's eyes filled with guilt and he didn't meet my eyes, "I...I just can't. You can understand why." My head was spinning. Why was Izzy doing this to me? Did he not love me after all? We had come so close to making love and then Axl had to come in and ruin everything. Well, I liked to think it was Axl's fault...
"No, I don't understand why," I snapped back at him, "You'd better have a good reason for this." Izzy took a step backwards and explained quickly, "I don't want to do this with you now. It's just not the right time. It's going to change everything between us and I don't want that to happen. I just want you to be with me like how you've been with me the last few months. I don't want things to change. I can't bear it if things change."
I was still bewildered, not understanding Izzy's point at all. Our love for each other would only get stronger by having sex, it wasn't going to "change things." I protested, "Izzy, it's not gonna change anything. It's just gonna make me love you more. Things will continue on has they have been in the past."
Izzy shook his head, "No, it will be different. You can't deny that. Look at Erin and Axl for instance. Ever since they made love they've been much too attached. You see the way Axl reacts when she's upset with him and you can see how jumpy and argumentative they are with each other. I don't want that to happen to us."
I didn't understand why Izzy was comparing us to Axl and Erin. We were two completely different couples that couldn't even be related. My head was starting to spin and I flopped onto my back. All of Izzy's logic was starting to blur in my head. The only two clear thoughts in my head were that I wanted Izzy more than anything and that I couldn't have him.
"But we're not Erin and Axl..." I pointed out blearily. Everything was starting to get foggy and I was very, very tired. Izzy was staring at me with wide eyes that looked almost haunted. I looked down, but the sheet was still keeping me covered up. Unsure what his problem was now, I snapped, "What?"
"Sit up or something, will you?" Izzy snapped right back. I twisted onto my side and scowled at him, "Fine. Why does it bother you how I sit on the bed? Seriously, Izzy, I don't get you right now." Hot angry tears were starting to fill my eyes, but I blinked them back. I couldn't tell if Izzy's intention was to break my heart, but if it was, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Instead, I balled my fists up under the sheets to try to let out my frustration.
"You looked exactly like Shelia lying on your back like that," Izzy pointed out through clenched teeth. I had no fucking idea what that had to do with anything. Tired of arguing I responded, "Well, I'm not Shelia as anyone can see." Izzy crossed the room to the door with three strides and cracked the door open, "I can't do this right now."
Those were his last bitter words and he shut the door behind me. Left all alone in the darkness, I rolled onto my stomach and gazed out the window. The dark silhouettes of the trees outside blurred as tears smeared down my cheeks, clouding everything together. I felt used, hurt, and confused. I hadn't understood any of Izzy's excuses tonight. He must have just been trying to create a diversion. But he had been about to love me before Axl had come in. What had changed?
The thoughts were too complex for my brain to process this late at night after such a tiresome day. I buried my head against the fluffy white pillow that smelled much too strongly of Izzy, and cried myself to sleep.



The next morning, I was awoken by the golden sunlight streaming in through the windows. Yawning, I stretched my stiff limbs and was about to get out of bed...then I remembered last night's events. The rememberance made me freeze and then sink back onto the bed with despair. I wanted to stay locked up in this room all day, but I knew I couldn't do that.
I figured the best thing to do at this point was to quietly get dressed, clean my face and do my hair, and then escape without being noticed. I didn't think I could face Izzy now or ever. With that thought in mind, I made myself slide of the bed and pull my sleek blue party dress on from last night. It was pretty wrinkled, but there was nothing I could do about that now.
After getting dressed, I noiselessly walked over to the bedroom and cracked it open just widely enough so I could see if anyone was in the living room. To my satisfaction, it was completely deserted. I crept across the room and entered the little bathroom from the kitchen. God, I looked terrible. I didn't even know if I could remember when I had looked this bad. My hair was tangled in tight knots, my eyes were dark and pained, and my face was streaked with lines of black.
I turned the water on and felt the coolness run over my face. Dirty black water dripped off my chin and into the drain. Once I was sure my face was clean, I turned the water off and wiped my face with a fluffy, cotton towel. It felt nice and comforting. I was tempted to just press my face into this towel forever and forget about everything.
Knowing that wasn't an option, I rummaged around in one of the bathroom drawers to look for a hairbrush. I selected a relatively cleaning-looking one and raked it through my hair. No matter how many times I brushed my brunette tresses, they continued to look limp and dull. Frowning, I wrenched my gaze away from the mirror and opened the bathroom door as quietly as I could.
I slowly made my way across the kitchen and into the living room where I headed straight for the back door. I was just about to open it, feeling triumphant about my unnoticed escape, when a voice brought me to a halt, "Hey, what are you doing, Amy? You look like a criminal trying to escape prison."
Slowly, I turned back around to face whoever was talking to me. I couldn't help but feel disappointed that my plan for escape hadn't worked. I really, really did not think I could stand seeing Izzy right now without breaking down into a million pieces. To my surprise, it was Axl who had called my name. He was lounging on the couch with a bottle in one hand and the television remote in the other. He was wearing a loose white T-shirt and jeans. Most likely he had just gotten up.
"Uh...I was just about to head home," I explained to Axl, keeping my hand on the door. Maybe I could still leave without causing any suspicion. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky. Axl raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of whatever was in his bottle and questioned, "So you were going to leave without letting any of us know, hm?"
God, why did Axl have to be so inquisitive this morning? Usually he didn't give a shit about what I was up to. Sighing, I leaned my back against the door and confessed, "Yeah, I was. Do you have a problem with that?" Axl widened his eyes innocently and shrugged, "Nah, of course not. Do what you want. It is a little strange though..."
"What's a little strange?" I snapped back. From the way Axl was acting, I figured Izzy hadn't told him about our fight last night. Axl returned his gaze to the television screen and waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss the subject, "Nothing. I was just thinking to myself. But of course, if you wanted to come sit by me and tell me what happened between you two last night, maybe then I could tell you what I was thinking."
Axl's offer was hard to refuse. Even in my humiliated, heart-broken state, I still found that I wouldn't mind spending time with Axl. He clearly seemed to want to talk to me. It wasn't everyday a hot guy asked you to come sit by them. Not sure whether or not I would end up regretting the decision, I took my hand off the door knob and retraced my steps to the living room couch, "Oh damnit, you win. You'd better tell me whatever it was you were going to say though!"
Axl slid over to the far right side of the couch to allow me to sit next to him. I plopped down exhaustively next to him and leaned against a frayed, dark green pillow. I closed my eyes and thought about how nice it would be to just fall asleep. Most likely I hadn't even slept two hours last night. A little extra sleep couldn't hurt, right?
"Hey!" Axl's voice jarred into my thoughts, "You came over here to talk to me, not fall asleep on me, right?" Reluctantly, I forced my eyelids open and sat up straight so I wouldn't be tempted to fall asleep again. Axl watched me out of the corner of his eye than continued, "That's better. Now tell me what's up."
I wasn't sure where to start. The whole scene last night was a little awkward and I wasn't quite sure if I were comfortable talking about it with Axl. Maybe Izzy didn't want me to tell anyone about this. As doubts flooded through my mind, I avoided Axl's gaze by turning to look at whatever was on the television.
I was shocked to see some obscene show that looked like pornography. Topless women were parading around on the screen, fluttering their eyelashes and performing sexy moves. Axl, starting to get irritated, urged me on, "So? Have you gone mute or something? I don't have all day, ya know."
To change the subject, I pointed at the television screen, "What the hell is that?" Axl glanced casually at the screen and then shrugged his shoulders innocently, "My show? Here, I'll turn it off so you can start talking." Axl pressed a button on the remote and immediately all the images of the scantily clad women were gone from the screen. Honestly, I wouldn't have guessed Axl liked watching stuff like that. But with Axl, you could never be certain about anything.
Still trying to prolong the subject, I asked, "Where is Izzy anyway?" Axl pointed to the bedroom where he and Erin had been staying, "They're in the basement. There's a door that leads to it from that bedroom. So if you're worried about him overhearing you, I can assure you that he can't hear any of the shit we're saying."
"Oh," I commented, still unwilling to tell Axl about last night. Finally, Axl slammed his bottle down on a tan coaster on the wooden table and turned to look at me unblinkingly, "Okay, okay, just tell me what went on! It can't be all that hard. Besides, I already have an idea of what went on so..."
My eyebrows knotted together; how could Axl already know what had been going on? Had he overheard us last night? I would've figured that he was too involved with Erin to have noticed anything. But again, I had forgotten what exactly we had said last night. Had Izzy or I yelled at each other? My face flushing slightly, I asked nervously, "What do you think happened?"
"Well, I don't know exactly," Axl admitted, "but my guesses would be that you and Izzy either got in an argument while you two were having sex or you got into one after he fucked you. Is it something like that?" I was a little surprised by how openly Axl was talking about this. Axl was always full of surprises.
"Um, kind of," I replied to his question. "He didn't want to...you know..." I trailed off, not really sure how I wanted to phrase my words. Axl's eyebrows shot up and he shook his head, "God, Izzy can be so stupid sometimes!" Not really sure what that was suppose to mean, I merely looked at him.
"What I mean is," Axl explained, picking up his bottle once more, "he goes around for ages looking for a girlfriend and when he actually gets one, he decides he doesn't want to make love to her. How stupid is that? Izzy's been in a weird mood lately. He's been a little different ever since he met you. Before that he used to go out to clubs every other night to look for a girl to have a one-nighter with. He never really used to be all that committed. But now...I just don't know what to think of him."
"He obviously doesn't love me," I twisted my hands around in my lap, uncomfortably. Ever since last night, I knew that Izzy couldn't love me. But saying it allowed seemed to solidify the fact. Axl held up a hand, the bangles around his wrist clinked and clanked together, "Don't do that. You don't know he doesn't love you. I think he's just going through...something."
"What 'something'?" I asked curiously, then added defiantly, "You know what I think the problem is? I think it's that Izzy just wants me as a friend. He said...he said..." I broke off my sentence, not sure if I should tell Axl anything Izzy had said last night. Axl pressed me on with that low voice of his, "Go on, you can tell me. You know I'm not gonna tell Izzy what you say."
"He said that he didn't want us to become like you and Erin. He said that you guys were too attached and that all you do is argue. Those weren't his exact words, but that's all I can remember," I said, quoting Izzy from last night. Axl shocked me by bursting into laughter. Frowning, I asked, "What's so funny?"
"Oh, just the fact that Izzy doesn't approve of my relationship with Erin," Axl snickered. "Guess I'm setting a bad example for him, huh? Anyways, I'm not exactly sure what Izzy meant by saying that. Yeah, we do argue sometimes, but everyone does. It's just human nature. And believe me, Erin and I have shared some of the best nights I've ever had." Axl's amber eyes clouded over and I expected he was replaying a scene with him and Erin in his mind.
A streak of sudden bitterness rippled through me. It didn't seem fair that Erin and Axl could have such a good time while I was feeling miserable. It didn't take Axl too long to snap out of his trance, "Anyways, why don't I talk to Izzy for you about this a little? It couldn't hurt. But seriously, what I'd really like to do is hammer some sense into his brain!"
I shrugged without answering. I wasn't sure if I wanted Axl talking to Izzy about this. It seemed like a private matter that should be kept between me and Izzy. One thought seemed to be taking over my brain. No matter how much I tried to divert my attention to something else, it kept coming back and covering up all over thoughts; was my relationship with Izzy over?
I was so distracted that I didn't notice the tear of sorrow drip from the corner of my eye and land on my thigh with a little splat. Axl peered over at me from the rim of his bottle and actually looked sympathetic, "Aw, don't cry, girl! Please?" Two more tears followed the first and I smiled wryly over at him, "I can't help it."
Axl frowned, set his bottle down, and rested an arm around my shoulders, "Just let it out then. Sometimes crying can make you feel better. At least, I think I learned that in chemistry a while back. But I never completed that course so I don't really know. School's just bullshit if you ask me." I rested my head against Axl and just let my tears come. They splattered out and streamed down my face until there weren't any left to shed.
I had to admit that I did feel slightly better afterwards. It was only then that I noticed that I was leaning against Axl's chest and that his fingertips were gently playing with the ends of my hair. He was wrapping a thin strand around his index finger then holding it up to light. My body suddenly stiffened a little bit, I wasn't sure if Axl was trying to mess with me too.
After thinking about it for a few minutes, I decided that he was just trying to comfort me. After all, he was clearly with Erin and he didn't seem like the kind of cheat at all. I remembered that he had been there for me when I broke up with Mick too. He was just good at calming me down. I needed to stop being so fucking paranoid all the time.
"What's Izzy doing in the basement anyways?" I asked to break the silence between the two of us. Axl dropped the strand of hair he had been wrapping around his finger, but kept his arm protectively over my shoulder, "He's practicing guitar with Chris Weber. You remember him, the other guitarist for the Hollywood Roses?"
I nodded, surprised that Axl didn't seem to be angry that Izzy and Chris were practicing all by themselves without the rest of the band. Axl seemed to read my thoughts because his next words were, "I do wish they'd invite all the band to practice with them, but as long as they still come to band practice with the rest of us tonight, I don't care."
I was surprised that Axl was in such a good mood today. He had acted completely opposite yesterday; constantly arguing and finding excuses to find things to fight about. Then I remembered Erin. It was amazing just how much that woman seemed to influence him. I spoke aloud my thoughts, "You know, you're really lucky to have Erin."
"Yeah," Axl replied, getting that distant look in his eyes again, "That woman's sure something." I watched Axl with a pained expression. I wished someone would get that dreamy look in their eyes when they thought of me. I wondered what my eyes looked like when I thought of Izzy. They probably just looked hollow and empty.
Ding, ding, ding! Izzy's telephone let out a raucous ring from across the room. Axl narrowed his eyes and pulled his arm off my shoulder as he stood up and stomped over to the phone, "Izzy really should bring his own fucking phone with him so I don't have to answer all his crappy calls." I couldn't help but smile to myself; Axl's good mood had already been ruined. It didn't take much to piss him off. Regardless of how grumpy he could be, I still found myself attracted to him.
"Yeah?" Axl spoke gruffly into the phone. He listened to the other side of the phone and then held it towards me, "It's for you, Amy. It's some of your friends from Crue." Shocked, I rose from the couch and hurried over to take the phone from Axl. I didn't know why Crue would be calling me or where they had gotten Izzy's phone number from.
Curiously, I held the phone to my ear and answered, "Hello?" Tommy's anxious voice answered from the other end, "There you are, Amy! I was starting to think you had died or something. I called your home phone number, your cell, and even your mom's cell phone number. Anyways, where the fuck are you?"
"Uh...I'm at Izzy's," I replied truthfully. Why was Tommy in such a hurry to reach me? Had something gone wrong? Feeling a little bit panicky, I asked, "Is something wrong, Tommy? Is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, of course," Tommy answered. "But you were supposed to be here hours ago. It's the show at the Orange Pavilion today, remember? And then after that, you, Vince, and me are all heading to the Cayman Islands for vacation." I stared at the phone in shock. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about the show at the Orange Pavilion. I had marked it on my calendar, but apparently I had gotten a little too carried away with Izzy to have realized that I was going to be busy today. But what the hell was Tommy talking about with the Cayman Islands? I wasn't going on vacation anywhere.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I missed the show!" I apologized repentantly. I really wished I had gone to the show instead of staying overnight at Izzy's house. "But what do you mean about the Cayman Islands? I'm not going on vacation. Who told you I was going?" Tommy's answer was quickly, "Vince told me you were going with us! I told him to ask you if you wanted to go. He told me you said yes and so we got tickets for you too."
"Vince didn't tell me anything," I said, completely lost. I could imagine Tommy frowning, "That bastard!" In a louder voice, Tommy called to someone behind him, "Vince, did you forget to ask Amy is she even wanted to go on the vacation with us?" There was a long pause and then a sheepish voice that must've been Vince's replied from a distance, "Well, I kind of assumed she'd want to go with us. I mean, who wouldn't want to go to the Cayman Islands for a nice, relaxing vacation?"
"Oh, fuck you, Vince! That was not the point!" Tommy spat out and then turned back to me, "Apparently, Vince assumed you'd want to come with us without asking you first. I hope you want to go because we've already got your tickets and you're coming with us whether you like it or not. You don't mind coming along, do you?"
Did I mind going to the Cayman Islands? After thinking about it for a few moments, the idea excited me. A vacation was just what I needed right now. It would be the perfect opportunity to get away and forget about Izzy. Besides, I could have some fun with my two best friends and maybe I'd meet a cute guy or too. That's what vacations were about for me; the guys and the relaxation.
Feeling ecstatic at this point, I answered happily, "I'd love to go with you, Tommy. I really need to get away from everything right now. A vacation will be perfect." When Tommy replied next, his voice was full of concern, "Yeah, a vacation will be nice. I was just thinking about how stressed out I've been lately. What about you though, Amy? You don't sound too good. No offense, but your voice is shaking and stuff. Is something wrong?"
Oh god, I felt like slapping myself. From only phone contact, Tommy could somehow figure out that I'd been crying. I just seemed to be one of those girls who wore her emotions on her sleeve. I answered Tommy's question as lightly as I could, "Oh yes, I'm fine." But the truth was that I certainly wasn't fine. I felt hurt, bitter, and unwanted. Everything around me seemed to remind me of Izzy which only dampened my mood.
Trying to return to the original subject, I asked, "So Tommy, when exactly are we leaving for Islands anyways? A few days from now?" Tommy laughed when he replied, "Hell, no! We're leaving right after this show. That's in four hours. So you've gotta be ready in four hours. You can make that, can't you?"
Only four fucking hours? How was I suppose to be at the Orange Pavilion in only four hours? Was Tommy crazy? Nervously, I replied, "Uh, Tommy? I'm at Izzy's house, remember? I don't have any of my stuff packed or anything." Tommy's voice was careless as he replied, "I'm sure you'll find a way to get your clothes packed and make it over here. I should probably hang up now so you can get your stuff together. You'll still come, won't you?"
"Yeah, of course," I said, already lowering the phone from my ear. "I'll see you at four!" I flicked the phone shut and rested it back onto Izzy's counter top before hurrying over to the door once more. Just as I was about to step outside, Axl's voice stopped me...again, "Hey, wait a sec! Where are you going in such a hurry? And what did Tommy want? You can't just leave me in the dark, ya know." I looked over my shoulder and sighed.
"Tommy invited me to go on a vacation with him and Vince. We leave in four hours though so I've gotta get home and pack," with that, I turned the door knob. A rush of cold wind streamed through the opened doorway. As I turned to shut the door, I saw the corner of Axl's mouth twitching in what looked like the beginning of a smile, "Hey, aren't you at least gonna say goodbye to me? Tommy must be a pretty good friend of yours if you're willing to just run off and not even tell me you're leaving."
Rolling my eyes, I stepped back into the doorway. Axl came over and gave me a friendly hug before squeezing my shoulders and whispering, "Have fun on that vacation of yours. Call me sometime while you're there, okay? I'm pretty sure you've got my number somewhere on your phone. Do you want me to get Izzy so you can say goodbye to him or anything?"
I didn't seem able to process the rest of Axl's sentence. My thoughts were lingering on his second sentence. He actually wanted me to call him? Last time I checked, people only asked you to tell them if they were interested in you or if they were serious about you. I didn't know Axl was seriously enough about me to want me to actually call him.
"Uh, Amy?" Axl prodded. I blushed and quickly answered his question, "Oh, um, no. Don't call Izzy. I don't think he wants to see me anyway-" My voice cracked and I didn't finish the sentence. Axl frowned at me, "I'll talk to him for ya. I'm sure it's not what you think. He really seems to love you. Anyways, seeya later and don't forget to call. Stay away from Vince though. He seems dangerous." A small cracked through my lips and I grinned, "Whatever."
I traveled out into the cold and jumped into my jetta. As I drove back home, my thoughts were on everything but the road. So many different emotions were conflicting in my mind right now. First, there was the fact that Axl had asked me to call him. I honestly didn't know what to make of that. Second, I was already planning out what to pack for the vacation. But most importantly, my thoughts were focused on Izzy...and the fact that he no longer wanted me.
Not too much later, I pulled into the parking lot of our familiar driveway. I flew out of the car and rushed up to the front door without even bothering to shut the car door behind me. A plan had already formed in my head. I would head straight upstairs to pack my clothes and cosmetics. As soon as they were packed, I would head to the Orange Pavilion. There wasn't any time to waste.
I burst through the front door and ran right smack into my mother. She took a few steps backwards from the impact of the collision before her eyes widened and she gasped, "Amy, there you are! Where in the world have you been? I expected you to be home yesterday. What did you do last night?"
Knowing that I didn't have time for a lecture, I pushed past my mom and started up the stairs to my room, calling over my shoulder, "Oh, I was just at a friend's house, mom. No big deal." Of course, my mom didn't stop her inquisition there. She continued, "At a friend's house? What friend? And next time let me know when you're staying somewhere overnight. I've been so worried about you. You can't even imagine how worried I've been."
"I was just at Izzy's," I replied casually, taking the steps two at a time. I was hoping to get away from my mom as quickly as possible. Rounding the corner, I congratulated myself on escaping any further questions from her. Unfortunately, just as I entered my bedroom, a loud bellow came from downstairs, "You stayed where last night? Get back down here right this minute."
Cursing under my breath, I shouted back, "Yes, mom, I stayed at Izzy's last night. But no, we didn't sleep together. I'm going on a vacation with Tommy to the Cayman Islands after this so I kind of need to hurry and get myself packed right now." Without bothering to go back downstairs like my mom had wanted me to, I yanked my duffel bag out of my messy closet and started throwing random items into it. After the bag was about halfway full, I dragged it into the bathroom.
From downstairs I could hear my mom replied to my last statement, "You're going on vacation with Tommy Lee? That sounds fun. I always liked Tommy. He seems like such a nice boy. You do seem to go through a lot of boyfriends though." I didn't even bother to correct my mom and tell her that Tommy was not my boyfriend.
Sometimes it was better just to let my mom make her own interpretation of things. Besides, it might be good if she thought Tommy was my boyfriend. It would keep her off my back about Izzy for a while anyways. The thought of Izzy stung. For the first time, the thought that I was probably single now ran through my head. If I wanted to make out with Tommy or Vince on the vacation, I could do so without feeling guilty or be worried about getting caught. Well, not exactly. Vince was off limits. He and Beth Lynn had just gotten together again after all their struggles. The last thing I needed to do was rock their boat.
After tossing my shampoo and conditioner bottles into one corner of my bag, I carefully got my makeup together and put it into one of the little pockets inside the duffel bag. Hoping I wasn't forgetting anything, I swung the bag over my shoulder and started downstairs, feeling ready for an adventure.
My mom was still standing at the bottom of the stairs. I bit my lip; I didn't have time to deal with a lecture right now. To my surprise, my mom just gave me a quick smile and wave as I brushed past her out the door, "Bye, Amy! Have fun!" I waved back to her and hustled back into my jetta. After throwing the duffel bag carelessly into the back seat of the car, I turned on the engine and swerved out of the driveway at full speed. I was determined not to waste a single second.
Even though the drive to the Orange Pavilion took two and a half hours, it seemed to fly by. I had the windows opened and the music blaring as I raced down the highway. The wind ruffled my hair and sent a cool breeze down my neck. One of my favorite songs was playing and I tapped my foot rhythmically to the beat.
Despite my efforts to try to be in a good mood, I was still thinking about Izzy. I was trying to tell myself that I didn't need him. Honestly, we didn't even know each other that well. We had only been together for a few months. Maybe that was why Izzy hadn't wanted to sleep with me? I quickly brushed that thought aside. It didn't matter why Izzy didn't want me. I needed to let it go and move on. There were several other cute guys in the world. Surely one of them could satisfy my needs, right?
Wrong. There just wasn't anyone else in the world like Izzy. He was one-of-a-kind. In all my years, I hadn't met anyone like Izzy before this. God, why did I keep thinking this way? I should be thinking optimistically. I should be happy to be single again. There was a good possibility that I might meet some guy on the upcoming vacation.
Keeping that thought planted firmly in my mind, I veered into the parking lot of the Orange Pavilion. Luckily, there was a parking slot right in front. Before anyone else could steal it, I parked my care carefully in between a dingy old Ford and a shiny, black Honda. I jumped out of the car, swung my duffel bag over my shoulder, and started tromping across the lawn to the stadium.
I figured that the show was over because people were spilling out from the bleachers at an alarming rate. I sped up my walk, not wanting to get lost in the sea of the crowd. Swiftly, I jumped up the wooden stairs to the stadium and looked around the backstage for the Crue. It wasn't too hard to find them. Nikki and Mick were doubled over at some joke Tommy was cracking and Vince was smiling through his shiny, pink lip gloss.
"Hey guys!" I greeted, jogging over to where they were standing in the corner of the room. "How did the show go?" Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Nikki turned to me with a big grin, "Hiya there, Amy! It's good to see you. I thought you had ditched us all for those LA Guns people you've been hanging out with."
"Uh, Nikki? She was ditching us for the LA Guns people. I called her and reminded her about the vacation that Vince forgot to tell her about, remember?" Tommy reminded Nikki, shooting Vince a reproachful look out of the corner of his eyes. Vince held up his hands in innocence and blinked, "Hey, it ain't my fault she ditched us. Besides, she won't do it again, will ya?"
I was started to feeling guilty and rather uneasy. I hadn't exactly ditched the Crue for my date with Izzy. To be honest, I had simply forgotten about the show at the Orange Pavilion. Oh well, it didn't matter now anyways. I wouldn't be spending any more time with Izzy anymore. Although there was always Axl to think about...
"Earth to Amy!" Nikki said, waving a hand in front of my face to bring me back to the present. "What are you thinking about? You totally zoned out there." Vince nodded in agreement and added with a smirk, "Yeah, you did. Plus, you didn't answer my question. I'm still waiting for an answer you know."
"Sorry guys," I replied apologetically. I was genuinely feeling bad about not making it to the show. The Crue was only making me feel worse with their complaints. "I didn't mean to miss the show. I just got carried away and then I ruined everything like usual." I forced a smile on my face even though I felt like scowling.
Mick raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, "What do you mean 'you ruined everything'? The show still went okay. Actually, it was one of our best shows yet." Then Mick turned to the rest of the Crue and gave them a meaningful look, "Stop harassing her about missing the show. It's only making her feel worse."
I gave Mick a grateful smile. No matter how much tumult Mick and I had been through, he was always there for me when I needed him. Tommy tucked a brown curl behind his ear and ignored Mick's advice, "I think she meant she ruined whatever she was doing last night, not the show. Isn't that right, Amy?"
"Um hm," I agreed grudgingly. I hoped someone would change the subject fast before I was forced to tell everyone about what I had been doing at Izzy's house last night. Unfortuantely, Tommy kept the subject going, "Well, don't just stand there! Tell us what happened for God's sake!" Mick gave Tommy a disapproving glance.
"I think we should head back down to the parking lot area where Doc's plane is going to pick us up. He should be here any minute and we don't want to be late. Especially since you three need to catch a plane," Nikki remarked, glancing at his watch. Tommy nodded reluctantly as we all crossed the backstage room to the stairs, "Fine, but I wanna know what's going on with Amy soon. You can tell me on when we're on the plane."
I rolled my eyes and didn't answer Tommy as I followed Vince across the parking lot to where a small, white plane was already waiting for us. Knowing Tommy, he would most likely forget that I had a secret he wanted to know anyways. As we approached the plane, I questioned, "So is the plane gonna drive us to the airport?"
"Yep, it sure is!" Tommy answered enthusiastically. Excitedly, he wrapped his arms around my waist, picked me up off the ground, and spun me in a little circle around him. I laughed as Tommy whirled me around in the air. It was so nice to be with my loyal friends who I knew I could trust.
Vince eyed Tommy and me jealously. As soon as Tommy put me down, Vince strode over and flung an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me next to him, "I've really missed you, Amy. You need to hang out with us more often. It's so awesome that we have a whole two weeks at the Cayman Islands just to party though, hm?"
I managed to manuever away from Vince as I climbed up the metal stairway to the inside of the plane, "Yeah, it is nice. But next time, ask me if I want to go with you before just assuming I will, okay? I mean, there might've been someone else who wanted me to spend Christmas break with them."
Mick, Tommy, Vince, and me all buckled up in the back of the plane will Nikki was forced to sit next to the pilot. I felt sorry for him; he looked a little lonely up their by himself. Vince's brow was furrowing as he clicked his seat belt together, "Someone else? Who else invited you to spend Christmas with them? It better not have been that Axl Rose or Izzy-what's-his-name!"
"Nobody invited me," I corrected Vince as the airplane took off, "I just said that someone else could've invited me." Vince nodded understandingly, "Oh. Well, there's no better way to spend vacation than with Tommy and me. We're gonna have a blast together." I nodded, and then thought of something rather fishy.
"Hey Vince," I started, "Where's Beth Lynn? Why isn't she coming with you on vacation?" Vince looked at me with a blank stare. It took him a minute to process my words. When he finally understood where the conversation was going, he started pulling at the ends of his blonde hair, "Uh...Beth's at home with the baby. It's all good though, Amy. We're doing just fine. It's just...I didn't think it would be good for her and the baby to take a trip quite yet."
"I see," I replied, hoping that this wasn't just an excuse for Vince. Vince had a tendency of making up excuses, especially when they had to do with his wife or any other random girl. From the front seat, Nikki looked back at us and stated, "Nobody told me that Amy was going to the Islands. If I had known she was going, I would've wanted to go too."
"Well, too late now," Tommy stated a-matter-of-factly as he looked out the window. "Hey, we're almost here!" Almost inaudibly, Vince gave me a wickid smile, "That just means more of you for me." I wasn't quite sure if I liked the way Vince said that. Something told me that Vince was up to something. He better not have something bad planned for this trip or else I would never forgive him. Well, maybe I would eventually forgive him, but it would take a very long time.
Without warning, the plan suddenly dropped several feet in the air with a lurch. I clamped a grip on Vince's arm and turned to him in terror, "Oh my god, what's going on, Vince? There's something wrong with the plane!" Vince, surprised at my hand on his arm, replied, "It's okay, Amy. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the-"
Another longer, downward lurch cut off Vince's sentence. From the front of the plane, the pilot called to us in a paniced voice, "There's been an electrical malfunction! We're going to be descending rather quickly. Don't fret though and please remain sitting down!" I moaned and squeezed my eyes shut, "Ah...we're all gonna die!"
"Calm down, calm down!" Vince tried to reassure me through the turmoil. Without thinking, I buried my head against Vince's shoulder and tensed every muscle in my body, "This is why I don't like planes!" The little plane went hurtling to the ground. Only milliseconds later, we landed with a jolt and a crash.
"Is everyone alright?" the pilot asked with concern as he unbuckled from his seat to see how we were fairing. I slowly opened my eyes. Everyone seemed a little pale and rumpled, but besides for that, we were all completely fine. Then I looked behind. My duffel bag had split open. Clothes were all over the place and my makeup had exploded all over the place. A bottle of mascara had spilled onto Vince's leg and a lipstick tube was squished into Tommy's shoe.
"My stuff certainly isn't fine," I grumbled as I started grabbing loose items of clothing. Vince laughed at me, "Hey, at least we're not dead!" He started helping me pick up pieces of clothing. As he handed me a skimpy piece of lingerie, he grinned evilly at me, "I wouldn't mind seeing you in that sometime over vacation."
I slapped Vince roughly on the arm, "Not in your dreams, boy!" Even though it had looked like a big mess, it only took a few minutes for Vince and me to repack my bag. The only problem was that I no longer had any makeup. From the front seat, the pilot said, "At least we landed in the airport...it could've been worse. Why don't the three of you who are going on the vacation get out? I'll call someone to help the rest of us out so we can go home."
Mick and Nikki exchanged long looks. I hoped they won't be sitting around in the crashed plane for too long. Grabbing my duffel bag, I wasted no time in getting out of the plane. I decided not to wait for the ladder and jumped to the ground. Vince and Tommy followed me with suitcases in their hands. Nikki waved forlornly from the back of the plane, "Bye guys!"
The three of us waved back to Nikki and started towards the airport. I wasn't feeling too confident about the trip at this point. The plane malfunctioning had better not be a omen about the rest of our vacation.



"Oh god, this place is so nice, Vince!" Tommy exclaimed as we wandered along a hotel floor to find our rooms. Our second plane flight had gone smoothly and now we were finding our rooms. Tommy was right; the hotel was very nice. Everything looked nice, clean, and new. The walls were painted a bright turquoise and tropical photographs were arranged neatly on them.
"Here we are," Vince commented, pointing to two white doors with the numbers 301 and 302 imprinted on them in gold. I looked closely at the doors. They were arrange very close together. I asked, "Guys, is this one or two rooms? It looks like the rooms are really close together or something."
"They're connected," Tommy explained to me as he popped open one of the doors. "That means they adjoin by that door." Tommy pointed to a white door on the right side of the room. I figured it would be nice to have a connected room. Vince had better not make me any midnight visits though.
"So what's everyone's plans for the rest of the evening?" Vince asked as he flopped his suitcase carelessly down on the peach-colored couch and opened the windows to let in some sunlight. Tommy laughed as he unzipped his suitcase and started putting clothes away in the white marble drawers, "I have no idea. I'm pretty tired though so I think I'm just gonna relax in the room for a bit. What are your plans, Amy? Want to hang out with us?"
I weighed my options as I hesitated by the adjoining door. It might be fun to hang out with Tommy and Vince for a while, but I was still in a bad mood. The plane crash from earlier had left me feeling unsettled and jumpy. A little nap might do me some good. I politely refused the offer, "I think I'm just gonna unpack and call it a night. I'm pretty tired too. Yesterday was...exhausting." Vince looked at me curiously, but I didn't bother to elaborate.
Tommy, who was half distracted by unpacking, answered back cheerily, "If that's what you wanna do. Have a good night then. Tomorrow we'll all have some fun." I attempted smiling at my two good friends before I cracked the adjoining room door open and slipped through it with my duffel bag over my shoulder.
As soon as I was in the room, I felt lonely. I wasn't used to being alone. Usually there was always someone around. I laid my duffel bag carefully on a bamboo table and started unpacking. It was going to be a long night.

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