Avenged Svenfold, My Chemical Romance crossover.
It’s isn’t wrong. There is nothing about this that can be wrong. It isn’t like I have done anything wrong. I don’t belong to anyone, least of all Zacky… I did something… something I think I should regret, but I know I don’t. I mean, can I really be blamed? Mikey is… Mikey. Amazingly handsome, a fucking amazingly good kisser. I mean, the sex wasn’t bad. We were both very very VERY drunk. He didn’t last long, to be honest. But I couldn’t have lasted long either. 18 months, though the boys don’t really think it’s been that long. Matt would die from laughing if he knew it’s been since Za... this long. It was awkward. I’m not that type of girl, no matter what those fucking bitches say. I don’t sleep around, I am not hooking up with their boyfriends, I am not fucking the opposing football team and I do not have random sex with the hot lesbians in the clubs. So last night was… I don’t think it will happen again. Even now, as he lays on the bed across the room, saying he would take it from anyone… how Violet is looking pretty sexy sitting there on the computer.
Part of me likes it, I love the attention and revel in the compliments. It’s been a while since I’ve heard anything like that. I mean I love the ego boost. But… I won’t. This is a new book, and I will not be filled with all the bla bla bla of the others. I won’t spend my time on people who wouldn’t give me a parting glance, even if it saved my life.
Zacky Vengeance is my best guy friend, not my brother like Shads or Syn. I can’t see him that way. Then again, Zacky Vengeance is not your ordinary deathbat. At least, I used to think that way. Now he has to be normal… unattainable. His precious Marie clings to him, a bad odor that’s unpleasantness lingers long after she is gone. And it is mildly hilarious because she is so in love with him… and he is just her friend. He loves her how I love Mathew. His baby sister, his golden star. But the moonlight of his life belongs to the moon alone. His sunlight is saved away, the clouds have yet to break in his world. But I’m a flower, and I need the sun to survive. I can’t be blamed for surviving. Especially since he doesn’t need me to survive. So I’ll learn. I’ll make it ok again, like I have for years now. I’ll put on a brave face, smile for them, and the men in my life, the ones I love so very much, will remain oblivious to the fact all I want to do is scream until I bleed.
I just have to tell myself it’s going to be ok, that what I did wasn’t wrong, and that Zacky Vengeance will still have my back in the morning. If he doesn’t, maybe the other boys will. M. Shadows, Synyster Gates, Johnny Christ, The Rev. It’s true, I guess. Two out of three isn’t bad. So four out of five has to be better.
I think I need sleep. Class starts at 8 am, and there is a test I haven’t studied for yet. So let me sleep, I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.