Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you.
I open my eyes and my gaze lands on her, lying there beside me with her body pressed against mine, cradled in my arms. Its warmth my own body could not produce as her chest rises and falls in time with me own. I feel it against my bare skin, sending heat in waves across my chest.
My hand brushes the length of her arm, smooth even strokes in a peaceful rhythm. It comforts me more than she would ever know, to feel her milky white skin beneath my fingers, just to know it is real. To know that I can touch it and that it is mine; I relish it. I do this while she sleeps, so she cannot see what it does to me. I hide it when she wakes, because I know it's over.
Every time you leave my side, I just fall apart.
When you sleep there is a look on your face. You go places where no one else can venture. It kills me inside to be locked out, unable to see this world inside your head. I wonder if I am there in your dreams, a place where anything can happen, where rules do not apply. I wonder if your dreams are like mine, filled with the moments we'd shared, replaying them over and over, watching that smile that spreads across your face only for me. I wonder if you know that I dream of that smile. It is my smile. The one you save for no one else.
When you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go.
The memory of your skin is so real, so tangible. Your skin is so soft, it glows against my own. Even from afar you can see it shimmer. In a crowded room, you stand alone and my eyes are drawn to only you. Do you notice? Do you feel it? You make me want to walk over to you and wrap my arms around your petite frame and claim you for the world to see. But I know my family would stop and stare and you would disapprove.
I pull her tighter to my body.
There is so much I want to tell you in that crowded room full of my family and now yours too, but nothing seems to fit to sum up what I am feeling.
I miss you; these three words have said it all.
Do you see it in my eyes? Feel it in my touch? It is all I feel, every moment, every day. The pull my body has towards yours, it is like gravity. We were made for each other, never meant to part. And then when you stand so close, right by my side, you are still so far away. I could reach out and touch you, but I do not as I would not have the strength to let you go. So, I live in the moments. The moments we have together where I do no have to let you go, where can hold on to you all night, breathe in your scent, have it fill up my lungs, intoxicate my senses.
You I miss you, I think about you when you're gone.
There are times when it all seems like a dream, like it never really happened and that you never turned my way that day to see me staring, yet again. What if you had not seen that look in my eyes that said I would love you, that you would be the one? That it would all end with us? And what if you had never had the exact same look mirrored in your own eyes? These times cloud my mind with questions, like how did we not see it sooner when we could have had so much more time together. These questions do not change anything though, so I just close my eyes and picture your face and that look in your eyes when you first realised you loved me too.
I know it doesn't sound too cool, but maybe I'm in love with you.
The warmth her body exudes seeps into my bones, shivering down my back. She is so warm; I cannot forget she is lying there. I cannot sleep while she is beside me. The sheets that lie thrown about our bodies are cold compared to her touch, and the feeling only magnifies as I try to concentrate on sleep that continues to elude me.
I force my eyes tighter and your face is still there amid the darkness, staring at me. Your beautiful eyes are big, filled with happiness. It was this happiness I had been missing until I saw you for the first time, really saw you. Your brown hair had been playing in the wind, dancing around your face. I remember how you had brushed it aside, tucking it behind your ear. I remember seeing your face and how it had changed. How it looked exactly as it had through the years as I watched it change from a girl to a woman, but for some reason that day, the moment when my eyes locked with yours my breath caught in my throat and my chest grew tight. I could not breathe. I could not think. I could not look away. This feeling was new, and it made me realise that it was you I had been looking for, that it was you I had been missing, and you had been right in front of me the whole time.
I can't concentrate; the world is turning upside down, spinning round and round.
After one look I knew it was true. There was nothing false about the way I felt for you. It was real and it was consuming. I was afraid. I knew it was impossible, you would never feel the same, but there you were, saying you wanted it too. In that instant my breath came back and my chest collapsed against my ribs, the pressure released. I felt my heart for the first time. It felt so loud, loud enough to be heard and make it clear it was there, and from that moment it never silenced. It is my song. It carries me through the days and the moments when we are apart.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room, there's a part of me that just wants to follow you.
Her body stirs and it brings me back to reality, in this room, in this bed. Her legs are entwined with mine. I feel the soft curves of her thighs as they shape into her smooth stomach, which lies flush with mine. Our bodies are aligned and her head rests lightly against my shoulder. Her hair drapes along the pillow, strands of it lying across my skin, their feather touch tickling me as she breathes. My hand still caresses the expanse of her back, it feels so familiar. I know every dimple and curve of her body, just as she knew mine.
It's such a hard life most of the time, I'm just surviving.
Feeling her there was too much, too real. I had to leave. I needed fresh air; my lungs were filled with her, I was surrounded by her and I knew that I should not leave; I should want to stay there with her smell, her touch.
You know I miss you.
I slowly untangle our exposed limbs and stand there staring at her naked form lying in front of me. Her arms and legs are elegantly placed across the bed. She looks beautiful, peaceful, and I loved her. I knew I did, but I needed air. I needed to leave for just a moment, a moment to breathe.
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong.
The night's air bathes across my skin, the cold chill clearing my mind. The distant thud of my feet against the pavement was the only sound to intrude upon my silent thoughts. My thoughts are of you and cause a pain in my chest, my heart aches for you. I need to smell, to touch, to see you. I need to be near you. We had been apart for far too long for me to take. I feel my feet move as I head in your direction, the thuds sounding faster and faster against the pavement. Your smell is so near I can already taste it in the back of my throat, the sweet taste I crave. My heart pounds just that little bit faster at the anticipation of seeing you.
My hand is just above the door when it opens and you stand there staring at me. Your big, brown eyes hold back the glint of emotion that tries to flood your features. I see the smile that is mine get shoved to the side as worry takes over. Your eyes glance back inside the house. I reach out and touch your face and you instinctively lean into my touch. It reminds me you are real.
"George, what are you doing here?" you whisper.
I just smile. It was not a dream, it happened. You are mine.
"George, Ron's upstairs and what about Katie?" you ask.
I sigh. Katie. I see the image of her asleep. Her naked form elegantly placed across the bed, our bed, where I had left her only moments ago. Katie.
You continue to stare at me. I know this will eventually end, but for now it is real. I know that when that day comes, my heart will stop and I will lose my song.
"George, what are you doing here?" you ask again.
"Hermione..." my voice comes out raw and broken.
I just miss you.
Song: Darren Hayes - I miss you
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