I stood outside my house watching the lights flashing from the ambulance and police cars. There were sirens earlier but they stopped. I was having to stand off to the side so the police and my dad in the back of the cop car wouldn't see me. They were rolling my mom out of the house in a stretcher. She moved her head to the side and looked at me, she mouthed something before they pushed her in the ambulance and drove off.
I started to run after the ambulance, Gerard running behind me. I got a few blocks before I tripped over my shoelaces. I wanted to cry but I didn't think I could for two reasons. 1) I didn't think I had any tears left, I had used them all earlier. 2) I didn't want to seem more weak than I already am.
Gerard sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around me. I fell into his embrace.
"It'll be okay Frankie."
"How do you know? She could die. They could let him out of jail. He could come after me. He could kill me."
"Because I won't let that happen. That's how I know," he whispered.
I cannot sleep to save my life right now.
Frank's in my bed and it just wouldn't feel right if I went to sleep while he is. I feel like I need to be up to protect him.
I've gone through three pots of coffee, making a fourth now. I can't stay focused on anything. I swear the floor is trying to get a nice feel of my nose.
"I really need to lay down," I mumbled to myself.
I walked back to my room and Frank was sitting up in the bed. He turned and looked at me and went back to staring at the wall.
"Do you ever wonder what happens when we die?" He looked so pale.
"Frankie, are you okay?" I walked over to him reaching out.
"Do you think that anything we ever try to accomplish is even worth all of this? Pain and suffering. Endless hours of torture for what? A heaven and God that might not even exist. What happened to 'God will always be there.' Where is he now? If he has all this power why is he letting things turn out this way?" He was shaking and crying, but he kept talking.
"He lets all these people die. Innocent people. Children. People starving, being murdered, rape, and he makes some of them crazy enough to kill themselves. If he loves us so much why does he let this happen? Is it his favorite sport? Him sitting up there saying 'I bet I can make that guys life worse than the one I fucked up yesterday."
He stopped and grabbed a pillow and started screaming. I hugged him until he stopped. I stroked his hair and told him it was going to be okay. I wiped his tears away and I wanted to be all he'd ever need.
His breathing softened and he was asleep. I pushed him back into the bed, I layed down beside him and out my arms around his skinny frame.
"Whether he's really out there or not I don't know but he doesn't have a say because I promise I'll help fix everything that's broken."
Sorry for the wait. Same deal as last time, a reveiw gets you another chapter.