Some action. Harry gets to play with his lightsaber, saves Amelia's life and thwarts Dumbledore. Also gives Snape an unwelcome surprise. Susan sleeps over, and Luna comes to call. Rated for langua...
(#) jabarber69 2010-05-03 09:51:40 AMhey is ole harrikins gonna shag susan, and luna too!!! hell bring in amelia to that group that would be so kinky....
mighty mouse, where the hell did you come up with that....
Author's responseI have no plans to turn this into a harem, and the will be no overt smuttage. Any adult activities will be understated or off-screen entirely.
Susan is there because Amelia was there. Harry warned her in chapter three, that this would happen and promised help when it did. Susan was in the house and had to be removed for her safety. HEr lust for the green eyed quidditch god, is well documented in fanfiction, if not in canon.
Her involvement here, will be as a close friend, and senior lieutenant of Harry's Jedi Order.
As for Mighty Mouse, I've always liked that entry line: "Here I come to save the day!" Face it. It could have been worse...it could have been Underdog.
- A small point of terminology, this being set in England, I'd think "Robinsonian" rather than "Goldbergian" would be the appropriate term; Heath Robinson was a British cartoonist, roughly contemporary with Rube Goldberg, who produced much the same kind of complicated designs.
I rather liked how Harry handled himself in this chapter, though dressing as a Jedi was a bit much (on the other hand, he can most certainly play the role properly, so why not dress the part?). I had to laugh at the password and countersign (I do remember the original tc cartoon show) and I thought his performance at Bones manor was well done (I reckon Albus is going to suffere a fecal hemorrage when he finds out that Harry was there and made the difference in Amelia's survival). The confrontation at 12 Grimmauld Place was amusing, Albus was so out of his league that it was quite amusing and what happened to Severus was a delight (wonder how much what happened to his wand shocked him?).
The discussion between Susan and Hermione was amusing, especially the way Harry demonstrated his knowledge; I wonder if there's a potential threesome there? In any case, it's clear that Harry is quite capable all around.
I feel sorry for Arthur, he's caught between Molly and reality and he's doing a good job of navigating a hazardous passage; 'twill be most interesting to see what the Unspeakables find when they examine Ron & Ginny. I suspect Molly will not enjoy what is found out and Albus will find it even less encouraging, especially on top of everything else.
What will be interesting is to see how Madame Bones manages to deal properly with Snape while deflecting DUmbledore. Of course, between the "new" Harry and his actions, the Writs of Conquest which will severely hurt the purebloods supporting Tommy-boy, and the loss of Snape, he's going to have lots on his plate (and that's not even counting fun with the Wizengamot as they deal with and dispose of Fudge).
Author's responseHeya Cat. Over the years, your reviews And those like them, have become the ones I like the most. Each time you read something I've written You give me such great ideas for future fics or chapters.
If I had known of Robinsonian, I would have used his name, unfortunately I am more familiar with Goldberg. I did look up Robinson and saw some pretty silly ideas.
Jedi uniform: I had to give some people an idea what they were seeing as soon as they saw him.
Mighty Mouse. I've always loved the operatic mini-hero.
While it would be fun, to twist Dumbley's bowels, He's not going to discover that particular aspect of her survival. Harry has indicated he was responsible for both her survival and her breaching the security protocols of the manor, but that's as far as he's going with that. In chapter nine or ten, Dumbly will rediscover the awesomeness of the lightsaber. Remember, he's been /Obliviated/.
Like Snape, Dumbledore is a bully. He's just been taught he ain't all that, unfortunately he doesn't remember the lesson...for now.
Snape is both shocked, and well used to preserving his own hide. He's also fatalistic as hell. He understands now that he has grossly underestimated Harry.
While there is some chat, I had not really planned for a threesome. I alluded to it in Ch 2, and again here, but I don't really know if i want to write that. First all the really naughty stuff is off screen in this fic, so it would be rather boring. Second, it's not a major plot point in this story.
Arthur has always intrigued me. Were I married to Molly, I'd have strangled her within the first few years. He has to be nearly phlegmatic to deal with Molly's tempers on an even keel. I had to give him a way to explain that calm nature.
The Unspeakables will find exactly what you presume. Still not sure how I'll have Molly handle that. She can go either way with the appropriate consequences.
Slowly but surely, Dumbledore is going to find his plate loading. (Evil Chuckle!)
~/What will be interesting is to see how Madame Bones manages to deal properly with Snape while deflecting DUmbledore./~
That comes in the next chapter, I believe. It's going to upset some...for now.
Dumbley has lost control of his weapon, only he don't know it just yet. He will try to fight the writs, but they are standing laws the purebloods insisted remain on the books so they could screw others. Harry is simply taking advantage of the same laws to redress some ills. That's why I hired Carolyn.
Fudge is gone, and it won't take as long as you might think.
Until next time...
- Ponders......will the idiot DE's decide that facing the maniac with the weird sword is safer then telling Voldy what happened at Bones Manor? That assumes they have at least one working brain cell, and I've never seen much evidence of that possibilty! The takedown of Snape and Dumbles was excellent, and I hope that humiliation is their new best friend! Has Harry chosen the first members of the Jedi council? If so, will Neville and the twins also be on it? I'm looking forward to Augusta and Neville's reaction to the news about Bellatrix. i liked seeing how harry and Hermione's relationship is advancing, and how Susan used her attraction to Harry to trick Dumbles! As always, a most excellent chapter! :)
Author's responseOnce they face him...probably. While not the most intelligent of creatures on Earth, even Voldy's thugs have a sense of self-preservation. I counted out the casualties and added a half dozen to account for Amelia before Harry arrived. Out of an a strike force of fourty Deez, between seven and twelve returned. Five were captured and the rest were killed. I wouldn't want to report such casualties for a failed mission.
Voldy tends to take such disappointments out on his minions.
Dumbledore is caught up in his own superiority. His mistake is that he cannot imagine anyone being better than he. He based his attack on both the idea that no one would oppose him, and that Harry was incapable. He also had never seen a lightsaber before.
Snape, anytime I get to stomp on Snape, I take it. He strikes me a s the type who strikes from the darkness and expects to escape unscathed. I found out the hard way that a bully will continue to bully until his nose is broken.
Still, he does have a powerful protection, as will be seen in the next chapter. Don't worry, He'll be getting the punishment he truly deserves near the end.
Harry has indeed chosen his senior lieutenants. It will consist of Hermione, Luna, Neville, Susan, Tonks and Remus. Reasons fort that grouping will be explained later.
While I love the twins' characters, I need someone who can be serious. They will be in the group, but as regular students.
Voldemort. He's gonna throw a tantrum. He's also gonna be royally pissed that his spy in in custody. I suspect Snape is going to have a very painful reunion.
I wanted Harry and Hermione together, and while they are being intimate, I don't want this to be a major point of the story, otherwise I'd have to write the love lives of all the characters and that would be counterproductive. Suffice it to say what goes on behind closed doors stays there.
Susan. She was raised by one of the finest Aurors in the service. I was a cop for several years, and I've taught my daughter the survival tactics I learned both there and as a Marine. That includes deception.
Thank you. I'm gad you're enjoying.
- Just a further bit, it's going to be quite informative to see Tommy-boy's reaction to losing Bella, as well as a slew of Deez, without getting Amelia, and to only two people, too. Of course, he won't put any stock in any of the wilder reports coming out of the debacle, nor could he properly interpret them if he did.
Author's responseAs I indicated in the first review, he ain't gonna like /that/!
I have the feeling some people are gonna be very stiff and sore, tomorrow and Voldy is gonna need to recruit some ore cannon-fodder.
What? A weapon that can defeat my servants, preposterous! More than likely he'll think the attacker was one of Dumbley's troops with Sinbad's magical sword. That at least he can understand.
- Well, this is interesting. I'm a bit worried at how quickly Harry has learnt swordfighting, but I suppose he could have gotten the mental aspect ironed out in limbo and then practiced since then. Great premise, great work, though you've done the cliche 'respect goblins and they're great!'. The goblins are a warlike race who like nothing more than to cause misfortune to others, primarily physically but finacially as well. You've made them violent, true, but I think you should demonstrate their propensity for war. It is what they're best at after all.
Anywho, this is a great story and I very much enjoyed it so far!
Author's responseDon't worry about it. No SUPER-HARRY here. He's only learned enough to protect Amelia. Like you said, he has the knowledge, and he's practiced his tail off, for the past week. While not nearly enough, he only needs to use it the once. Look at Ralph Macchio.
Never fear, He's gonna need lots of practice to get to where he needs to be.
Goblins. I disagreed heavily with book seven's revised description of the goblins. Until then, they demonstrated the basic aspect of a clannish warrior guild. In seven, they became the traitorous backstabbers, out only for themselves, as personified by Griphook.
While they are warlike, I see them as a combination of Feringi and Klingon. they have the rigid social and moral/ethical code of the Ferengi, they also have the Klingon-like wherewithal to enforce it. Harry has earned their respect not only by bringing to light a major violation of that code, but also by being willing to face one of their warriors -as a goblin-, and killing him in a fair combat.
As to their propensity for violence, I think Voldemort is footing to discover that aspect of the goblins floor himself.
I'm glad you are enjoying the story; Please keep writing the insightful reviews. I like to see reviews from people who have questions.
- Third-round thoughts: The backstory between Arthur and Algernon Croaker sounds fascinating; might be worth fleshing out some time.
I wonder if Dumbles is every going to realize that Harry's manipulationg him through his occlumency shields? I imagine that will severely disconcert him, much like a lot of other things related to Harry will; not that he can do anything about it.
Author's responseIt'll be background, but there might be some fleshing out...just a little.
Dumbledore cannot conceive of anyone being smarter than him. Ergo, nobody can manipulate him. Neat, huh? This is what we call circular logic. As he once said: "Isn't it amazing how nearsighted being invisible makes you?"
By the time Dumbley has the opportunity to try to probe, Harry, His studies under Carolyn's friends, will preclude his entry. He'll assume Harry actually did learn something from Snape, or found a guide in the Black Library, and berate his spy for allowing it to happen.
And nope. He can't.
- Regarding your response to jabarber69, I fully agree with you. Scary thing is, though it's been 40 years, that bloody theme for the Underdog cartoons still resides in memory. Actually, that particular song would be more appropriate for dealing with the Wizengamot, particularly the pureblood contingent therein.
Author's responseEspecially given that Smedley the shoeshine boy was in love with sweet Polly Purebred.