I've been here crying for what seems like hours. How can I just make a big mistake like that? Why did I have to do something without thinking. I immediately brought the Nate/Pandora issue to conclusion when I didn't even think through it enough. I hate that I just let go the most important thing in my life. I definitely can't live without Nathan. I know that Nathan will never forgive me. I don't blame him at all. It was absolutely my fault. I always do things without thinking and that's one of the main things I hate about myself. Nathan must be hurting so much inside.
I wish I never went to Alexander's house. If I went directly home, Nathan would have proposed to me and I'd be his fiancé by now. We wouldn't be sitting here in misery. This was all my fault and I can not go back in time to fix it. I thought that revenge was the solution. But where did that bring me? Here. I got up from the floor with the box in hand. I stuffed it in my pocket and walked over to our bedroom. Nathan was already sleeping I suppose. His back was facing me so I couldn't really tell. I climbed on my side of the bed, putting the ring box on my side of the counter. I wiped all my tears away and wrapped my arms around Nathan's waist. He was snoring lightly and I couldn't help but smile as I fell into sleep myself.
When I woke up, I was in bed alone. Nathan was nowhere to be found in the room. Of course he left. He was definitely mad at me. Guilt washed over me once again. My stomach growled and it felt like it was swallowing every inch of my body. I got up and brushed my teeth, cleaning myself up. How am I going to fix this? Will we be able to make it before I leave for our Canadian tour with Marianas Trench? I surely hope so. I ran my hands through my hair for any signs of knots. Luckily my hair was knot free. I just wish that life was knot free. I'm just stuck in this knot that I can't fix. The only way to fix it was forgiveness. Nathan has to forgive me for everything to be okay. This event will always leave a scar but we all move forward.
I left the bathroom and found Nathan in the kitchen, making breakfast. What am I suppose to do? Help him? I cleared my throat. Nathan nearly jumped when he turned to me. He sighed in relief but the sour look on his face returned. I looked down at my feet, nervous as hell. What am I suppose to tell him? I looked up and he already turned away from me, concentrating on the eggs he was making. I sighed, walking out of the kitchen. I know exactly what to do. I need to move away from here for a while. We only have a week till the Canadian tour and they only had a month for their UK tour. Several months apart from each other would either tear us apart even more or bring us back together. I have to take the risk or I'll lose Nathan forever. I do not want that.
I took a suitcase from the closet in the living room. I began packing some items in the living room that I needed for tour. I got some DVDs of my favorite movies and moved to the bathroom. I took my shower cap and my favorite shampoo. I searched the drawers for my favorite set of makeup. When I was done with the bathroom, I entered the bedroom. This had to be the hardest part. A lot of memories of us were here. Everything was in here and now I'm leaving this place. I opened the closet and searched for my clothes. "Where are you going?" I looked over at Nathan. He was leaning against the bedroom door. "I'm leaving, to make everything easier. I suppose we need time apart so I'll make this easier for you and move out" I responded.
He shook his head, "I don't want you to move out" he said. I smile appeared on my face. "Really?" "Yeah I mean I'll move out. If you move out where will you go? I can go to Matthew's and you can stay here. If time apart is what we need to fix this, then I'm willing to do it" he confessed. "Nathan, this is basically your house. You paid the bills and everything. I'm not going to kick you out for something I did. I can find a place to go eventually" I told him. "Where? That's what I'm worried about. Where will you go?" he questioned. "Maybe Pandora's" I said. He frowned. "Don't worry about it, I'll find somewhere to go. I'm going to Rachel's or something if that makes everything better" I said. He only nodded.
I finished packing and walked out the door without saying another word to him. He was mad at me but he wanted what's best so I appreciate that. He was a really good guy and I'm an idiot for letting him go. I hope he's right. I hope that everything will be alright. When I got outside, I dialed Rachel's number. I haven't touched that number for a while now. I wonder how she's going to react. "Skye? Is that you?" Rachel's voice rung in my ears. "Rachel?" I started. "Skye, what's wrong?" she could hear the intensity in my voice. "I need somewhere to stay and can I stay with you for a week. I'm not going to stay long. I'm going on tour" I said as fast as I could. "Skye, come over I'll give you address" Rachel told me her address and we both hung up.
I didn't think I deserve this at all. I stole Rachel's boyfriend and now she's letting me stay at her house when I have no where else to go. I hailed a taxi and told the driver where to go. I looked back at Nathan's house. I don't think I will be seeing him for a while and that bothers me so much right now. I just hope that our time apart will fix us. If it doesn't then I don't really know what to do for the rest of my life. I can't believe Rachel was willing to help me. Maybe she'll kick me out the second I tell her what happened. It was my fault anyways and I'm ready to take the consequences. "Is it this house?" the driver asked. I looked at the nice fancy house. I could see Rachel making something in the kitchen from the window. "Yeah it's this house" I paid the driver and got off the taxi.
I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell to her door. The door opened and I expected Rachel at the door but instead, Matthew pulled me into a tight hug the second he saw me.
"Skye how are you? I haven't seen you in a while" he let go of me. What am
I suppose to tell him? That I cheated on his twin brother? "Hey Matt" another female called from the living room. "Josie, what's up?" he yelled back. "Bring her in, I'd like to meet Rachel's sister" she said. "Come on Skye" Matthew dragged me into the living room. There sat a beautiful woman with auburn hair and gorgeous blue eyes. "I'm Josie, I'm your sister's friend" she took out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Skye, Rachel's sister" we shook hands.
Rachel came in the living room with some snacks in a bowl. "Skye" Rachel pulled me into a hug. "I missed you" I said to her. "I missed you too, how are you?" she asked. "I uh..." I didn't know how to respond. Our conversation was interupted by Josie's phone. "Sorry, it's my boss" she laughed and walked upstairs. Rachel sat me down between herself and Matt. "Now tell us what's wrong" Matt spoke up. "This is all my fault" I began crying. Rachel pulled me into a hug. "Its okay" she said soothingly in my ears. "Nathan hates me now, I can't believe I did this. I hate myself" I continued. "Hey Skye, I'm sure Nathan doesn't hate you. Maybe he just needed time to cool off" Matthew put a comforting hand on my back. "But I don't deserve to be forgiven" I argued. "What did you do then?" Rachel asked.
"Everyone is going to hate me" I sniffed. "No we are not" Matt reassured. "I thought he slept with Pandora so I slept with Tom" I shouted out. "Pandora?" Matthew asked. "Tom?" Rachel asked. "Whoa, when did Pandora show up? I can't believe she's..." Matthew was dazed. "Tom? Wasn't he the guy I went out with once and I left the date because he was living with another woman?" I nodded. "Matt, Nathan said he didn't sleep with her but he caught me sleeping with Tom and he was about to propose to me. I'm such a dick" I rambled. "Skye, it's not your fault. Nathan would have slept with Pandora too" Matthew sighed. "How would you know that?" I questioned. "Because he's addicted to her" he answered. "Really?" Rachel raised her brows. "Yeah he used to cheat on his girlfriend. The one before Rachel. That relationship didn't go out well. Pandora is like a curse to him. She ruins like every relationship he has in some kind of way. Like she ruined his relationship with you. It's not your fault Skye"
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked. I certainly don't deserve that. I thought that they'd hate me as well but they were actually siding with me. "You guys can just take some time apart and we'll make sure everything between you guys are fine okay?" Rachel asked. "Thanks, that would mean a lot to me"' I said. "It would mean a lot to Nathan as well" Matt added. "Hopefully" I muttered. "I know he loves you. I don't think he would ever want to let you go" Rachel patted my shoulders. "If he was planning to propose to you, then you know he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you" Matthew said. "But I ruined it" I added. They shook their heads at me as Josie came running downstairs. "I have to go, my boss wants me to do the photoshoot for Paramore" she huffed. "Well bye" Rachel waved. Matthew got up and hugged Josie tightly. "Bye honey, see you later" she said to him and rushed out the door. "She's a photographer?" I asked. "Yep, she works in the same company as I do" Rachel answered.
Was she Matthew's girlfriend as well?I thought he and Rachel had some kind or connection here and there.
(One week later)
"I can't wait to meet the bands" Fiona announced. "Well I can" I grumbled. "Stop being such a buzz kill. Think about something else. Who cares about Nathan? We got a sexy ass tour!" Fiona yelled. I sighed and looked away from her. "Look I'm sorry. I just want you to be happy, I don't want you sulking around for Nathan" Fiona softened. "I'm sorry for bringing in the crappy mood. I'll lighten up. I promise" I gave her a pinky swear. "Lets go meet Marianas Trench then!" she grabbed my hand and dragged me off the bus.
We went to the other bus. I backed up a bit, bumping into someone on my way. "Sorry" I mumbled, looking over at the victim. "Its okay" he laughed, getting up. He helped me up as well. "I tend to get a bit clumsy sometimes" I laughed nervously. "Its okay I like clumsy people" he grinned at me. "I'm Skye" I introduced. "Oh and I'm Josh" he shook my hand. "Nice to meet you Josh" I smiled at him. He smiled back at me.
Three weeks has passed since Skye left for tour. Matthew and I have been coming up with plans to get Skye and Nathan back together. But today is the first day for Madina Lake's UK tour. Matthew suggested Josie and I to come along. We openly agreed. Matt and I had a lot of planning to do. No one can know about this. This secret is between Matthew and I only. "Let's go!" I yelled. "Hurry up Mateo" Dan mumbled. Mateo finally loaded his stuff in the trunk and climbed onto the bus. "Going on tour!" Josie giggled. Of course she was excited. She gets to experience her first tour with her boyfriend. I was once there with the same kind of excitement but with Nathan.
Nathan was sitting on the sofa, staring blankly into space. He caught my eyes on him and managed to smile at me. I waved and smiled back. "Rachel! How are you?" Mateo pulled me into a hug. "I've been very good" I laughed. "What are you doing here? Haven't seen you in a while" he asked. "Matt and I have some planning to do" I chuckled. "Wow, that's nice... Hooking up huh?" he laughed. "No actually, this is my friend Josie. She's also Matt's girlfriend" I pushed Josie to him. "Nice to meet you Josie" they greeted each other and I just rolled my eyes.
The bus began heading to the airport. This is going to be one long journey. I will do whatever it takes for Nathan and Skye to get back together. I know that those two are meant to be. I have no more feelings for Nathan and I'm glad to say that I finally moved on. I'm moved on to being in love with Matthew. Another someone I can never have.