I curled up on the couch after our fight and cried. Why couldn’t I have just dropped it? What was wrong with me? I trusted him, I really did. Why was I letting this jealousy consume me? It was wrong of me to throw the past in his face, right when things were going great. I hated myself for the look I saw on his face when I brought up the past. It was the past and that is where I should have left it! I will not lose him again! I stood up and headed up the stairs. I opened the door to our room and quietly shut the door behind me. I stood at the end of the bed and looked at him. He was awake, I knew it.
“I am sorry” I said into the darkness. “I trust you, I don’t know why I am letting all of this consume me. It’s not like me at all. I am strong and secure with us but... I have no excuse for what I said. Please love forgive me” I finished and just stood there.
“Not a day goes by Emily where I don’t think about what I did, where I don’t regret the pain I caused you. It doesn’t feel good having you bring it back up. It kills me” I heard him say. I could hear the pain in his voice. I had caused it, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks.
“I never think about it, ever. Not until today. I don’t even know where it came from but I don’t believe you would ever cheat on me. You’re a good man... I am so sorry I said anything. I was just angry about that women. I don’t even know why” I said and sat down at the end of the bed. It was quiet for a while then I heard him shift. I looked and he had lifted up the covers.
“Get in” he said quietly. I obeyed and got under the covers and snuggled into him.
“Why do we hurt the ones we love” I said into his chest.
“I don’t know” He said and I felt his hand rub my back.
“I forgive you” I he said and kissed my hair.
“I am sorry” I said again.
“Stop apologizing” He said and put his finger up under my chin to look into my eyes.
“I love you” He said and gently kissed my lips.
“I love you too. More everyday” I said and buried my head in his neck. I felt his hand on my stomach.
“It’s impossible to stay mad at you” He said as he rubbed my stomach.
“I know the feeling” I smiled and placed my hand over his.
“You prepared to run after another toddler” He asked with a smile.
“Ready or not it’s coming in seven months” I said with a sigh.
“This will be the last” I said and looked up at him.
“Okay” he said and shut his eyes. I didn’t deserve him. I never had, but he was mine.
I pulled up my jeans and found a some what clean t shirt to throw on. “Is that clean” I heard Amy asked from behind me.
“Yes” I said rolling my eyes. It was Friday night and we were going out with Sam and Deek. I wasn’t really looking forward to it but Amy had been excited all week.
“Okay the pink top or the purple" I turned to see her in her jeans and white lacey bra.
“I like what your wearing now” I said and waked up to her and pulled her to me.
“I know you do but you want me to look like this in public” She teased as she kissed me.
“Nope, so where the pink” I said and let her go.
“That’s what I was thinking” She smiled and slid the shirt over her head. I heard her cell ring and picked it up.
“Amy’s phone” I answered.
“Hey it’s Sam. Just letting you guys know were here” She said.
“Okay we will be down in a minute” I said then shut the phone. “
Their here” I said and she slipped on some shoes, grabbed her purse and dragged me down the stairs.
“Bye mom and dad” I said as we headed out. Amy practically ran to the car and we jumped into the back.
“Hey guys” Sam turned and said.
“Hey” Deek smiled.
“Thanks for getting us” Amy said happily. We headed off to this resteraunt both the girls decided on. As we sat at the place I looked around. Sam and Amy... and me.... eating together... this was strange. I was all the sudden picturing Sam in my floor board giving me head. I mentally shook myself. That seemed like years ago.
“You okay” Amy whispered to me.
“Yeah” I said.
“You look a million miles away” She said looking at me like she had seem my thoughts.
“Nope I am here” I smiled and kissed her briefly. Don’t get me wrong I no longer wanted Sam I loved Amy, it was just weird being around her with Amy. Shouldn’t your current girlfriend and your ex not like each other. This all just seemed .... wrong to me. I looked at Deek and he was just staring at Sam. Good for him. Deek deserved it.
“So how’s all things baby going” Sam asked as we were getting our food.
“Good, Angel has volunteered us her room. She is gonna share with our little girl” Amy said happily. She was so excited that she could officially refer to the baby as our little girl since we knew for sure now.
“That’s good, though she will be sleeping in your room for the first few months” Sam said as she ate a piece of her chicken.
“Of course” I said looking at Amy who looked surprised by the comment.
“In the basinet babe” I said and picked a piece of rice off her plate.
“Oh yeah” She said uncomfortably.
“I haven’t really been around to many babies, looks like I should start reading some books” Amy laughed.
“We can go to Barns some time and get a few” Sam smiled.
“I would like that. I need to use the restroom” Amy said.
“I’ll come with. Be back” Sam said as she followed Amy.
“Why must they go together” Deek asked.
“I dunno...look you don’t think this whole outing is weird” I asked, I wanted to know if this was just me.
“Yeah I guess. Sam’s your ex and Amy’s your current pregnant girlfriend of whom you cheated on Sam with and now Sam is dating me your best friend. So yes it is very weird. Sam told me she wanted us all to get along though. That you were my best friend and that she could put the past behind her to so we could all get along” He said as he took another sip of his coke.
“And don’t tell Sam but I think she might feel a little guilty over what Mike did.... Since their related” Deek added.
“I see. I am glad Sam being cool about this. Wonder why Amy is?” I said curiously.
“Well Sam did help Amy out with the whole Mike thing. Girls bond over that kind of thing. Hey their coming” He said looking past me. I turned and smiled at Amy she smiled back and placed her hand on her little belly. The rest of the night went well. The girls chatted a lot about baby’s and school, and girl stuff. Deek and I had our own conversations about the newest comic books and video games.
At ten we waved goodnight to them both and headed into the house. “Have a good time” Mom asked from the kitchen.
“Yeah” I said.
“It was so fun, it felt good to get out” Amy smiled.
“Good, look your dad’s at the studio, Lena’s at a friends, and Angel is at Mikey and Alicia’s so it’s just us tonight” Mom said from the kitchen.
“We should keep her company” Amy whispered into my ear.
“Ok” I agreed and we went and chatted with mom for a good hour before she headed off to bed. Amy was wide awake and wanted to watch a movie so we did. A romantic comedy of course because it was Amy’s favorite kind of movie and well I suffered through it. About an hour into the movie she turned and looked at me.
“Tonight was weird for you wasn’t it” She asked. I turned and shrugged.
“Jack you forget how well I know you” She said and crossed her arms.
“Okay so it was a little weird, you and her talking and being nice to each other...” I trailed off.
“Do you want us not to get along” She asked. Was this a trick question?
“No it’s just odd that you do. She is my ex who I cheated on with you... now your having my child and well she’s okay with all of it. Makes no since” I said shaking my head.
“Do you want her to be jealous” She asked. Great I did not want to talk about this.
“No” I answered. She grew quiet.
“Look Jack she helped me out during a rough time. Yes she is your ex, and I know all that went on with you two, but I can’t be mad at her. She’s nice and I have no girlfriend any more and....” she chocked back some tears. Oh no, she was going to cry. Damn hormones! I grabbed her and pulled her to me.
“I am sorry, man I cry a lot” She apologized.
“It’s okay. I want you to have friends to. I will try not to feel weird about you and Sam okay” I said.
“Okay” She shook her head against my chest. Within twenty minutes she was out. I carried her up the steps which was not easy anymore, and laid her in our bed. The next morning I woke up early. I left the room quietly so I didn’t wake up Amy, I knew how tired she was. I saw my dad sipping coffee and eating a muffin so I joined him.
“Where are the ladies” I asked as I grabbed a blueberry muffin.
“Angels still with Mikey and Alicia and Emily took Lena to ballet. Where’s you other half” He asked.
“Sleeping” I said and we ate in silence for a while.
“So how did the outing go” He asked.
“Okay, it’s weird for me that my ex and my girlfriend are friends” I said honestly.
“That is strange. I thought it was weird to when I came back to the hotel one day and they were there together. I’ve been married forever and I still don’t understand women’s minds” He said with a smile.
“Amy say’s she wants a good girlfriend, that all her other friends deserted her and she likes Sam” I explained.
“Well if they get along and don’t mind being friends then good for them. Sam’s a nice girl. Maybe the two of you can even be friends again” He suggested.
“I don’t know” I said doubtfully.
“You don’t still like her like that do you” he asked.
“No, it’s just...” I blushed.
“What, come on you can tell me” He said and kicked my foot under the table.
“When I see her I see what we did when we were together” I admitted. “You didn’t have sex” He said matter of factly.
“No but we did other stuff, and well it’s just weird being with her, especially with Amy around. I mean I have had sex with Amy....” I sated.
“Well obviously” My dad laughed.
“And it’s just weird seeing them together. Am I over thinking this” I asked.
“Yes, but you are like me. It is something I would over think. I mean your mom and I ran into one of my old girl friends and well it was extremely awkward for me” He said and took a sip of coffee.
“So the thing is to just shove those memories down and remember Sam before you two... messed around. The Sam you were friends with. It might make it easier since it seems like she will be sticking around” He always gave good advise.
“Thanks dad” I said.
“No problem. I missed you a lot when you were gone. Have I told you that” He said looking a bit sentimental.
“Yes you have and you know I missed you. Is the album just about done” I asked.
“Yeah were finishing it up. We should be releasing it at the end of June. Tour starts in August” He said looking worried.
“You okay” I asked him.
“Yeah. Well I gotta go. Love you” He said as he left.
“Love you too” I said then I heard the front door shut. I was gonna try to take his advise and remember when Sam and I were just friend.... if that was possible.
I woke up stretched and realized Jack wasn’t there. He must of gotten up early. I sat up and stretched again. I had slept way to long last night but I still somehow felt exhausted. I laid back thinking about the night before. Jack acted so weird at dinner... did he still like Sam? Was I wrong to want them to be friends again? I mean she was so pretty, and far more his type then I was and she wasn’t five months pregnant. I did like her, I couldn’t help it. She was such a nice friend to me when I really needed one. She knew Mike for who he was and she believed me about what he had done. I needed friends just like I had told Jack but was keeping Sam around safe? I had felt so fat at dinner last night compared to her, I put a huge smile on so no one could pick up on my intimidation. What was I thinking? Jack loves me and he chose me over her and he loves the baby... I was just going nuts... this pregnancy was making me paranoid. I grabbed my robe and headed towards the shower. I needed the hot water to wake me up. I slipped in and wished that Jack was with me. It was Saturday which meant there was probably no one at home. Well it was too late now, I was already in. All of the sudden as I was washing the conditioner out of my hair I felt an intense pain in my stomach. I grabbed it but it was so intense it made me double over. I screamed as loud as I could before my knees hit the bottom of the shower. The pain from the hit burned all the way up my body.
“Amy” I heard Jack say as he walked into the bathroom. He threw back the curtain and saw me on the ground.
“Amy what’s wrong” he asked with panic in his voice.
“Something isn’t right Jack” I said feeling a shock of pain rock my body again. I felt like I might vomit. I felt him picking me up then wrap me into a towel.
“I’m gonna call an ambulance okay” He said loudly. He was shaking, I could feel it.
“Okay” I barely got out. I was not arguing with that. I was so scared for not myself but for our baby.
“Yes my girlfriend is five months pregnant and she collapsed in the shower. Yes could you send someone” He asked then gave the address.
“Their on the way” He said as he kissed my head. I saw him dialing again.
“Dad, get home and call mom. If you get here and were not home head to the hospital, it’s Amy” He said then shut the phone.
“How are you” he asked pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t answer.
“Don’t die” he cried.
Was that his tears I felt in my hair? I felt his hand on my belly and could hear him...praying? It was that bad? It seemed like only minuted before the paramedics were their and putting me onto the gerny. My eyes had slid shut and I could hear them asking Jack questions. I heard him answer them tearfully and I wanted to hold him and tell him it was okay, but the thing was I didn’t know if it was okay.
~Okay so I haven't updated this in years but I have had a bunch of chapters written forever! I don't even know if anyone will read this, hopefully they will!