Tatsunosuke wonders about war sometimes.
Tatsunosuke wonders about war sometimes. He didn't before, when he was much younger, when he lived in the countryside with his father and his brother. When there was nothing but their small house, the green fields, and the wide, bright sky.
Tatsunosuke wonders whether or not it's the weight of living in this city that's made him think about those kinds of things sometimes. And when he sees the missionaries and the Westerners in their black suits, he wonders whether or not their wars are like this one: countrymen fighting countrymen, brothers fighting cousins fighting fathers. He wonders whether or not, far away, across the depth and darkness of the sea, they have to build deep trenches in their hearts. He wonders whether or not, after everything is over, they can go back home - as if there were no time between now and then - back to their families, their friends, their lovers, their children. He wonders what it feels like to kiss someone goodbye and never see them again. He hadn't kissed his father since the age of five. His father died when he was seventeen. He wonders whether or not a kiss goodnight can count as a kiss goodbye.
But most of all, Tatsunosuke wonders whether or not he'll have to build those same trenches in his heart, and as the light of false dawn filters in through his window and he wakes up alone, he sometimes wonders whether or not Ryouma's kiss goodnight will be his kiss goodbye.