Gerard confides in Olivia
"Having fun" He asked and smiled when she looked up in surprise.
"I am actually. Jade and I made some cookies and then she fell asleep watching the Lion King. I brought the monitor out side" She said pointing to the monitor on the ground next to her.
"See I am a responsible nanny" She laughed and started to swing again.
"Something about Disney movies always seems to put her to sleep. Want and push" He asked and walked behind her swing.
"Sure" She laughed and then squealed when he pulled her swing far back and let go.
"You sound like a little girl" He joked as he pushed her again.
"I feel like one right now"
"Whats up with the red heels" He asked as he continues to push her.
"I Was feeling a little down and these are my favorite shoes. I feel better when I have them on". He laughed. She was definitely un like any other women he knew. Jade's mother had always been either to serious, or to careless. But he didn't want to think about her right now. Not when he was here having fun with Olivia.
"Did she have a good day at pre school today" He asked enjoying being out side.
"A very good day. She even drew you a picture. I put it on the fridge" She had,had a bad morning.
Ryan had tried to get a hold of her one last time and the things he had said to her before he hung up on her,were hurtful. Having Gerard out here with her like this seemed to make her feel so much better. She felt him stop swinging her and pull her back against him. God it felt so natural just to lean back against him and relax.
"God this is nice" He said inhaling her scent. She smelt amazing.
"It is, I could get used to it" She said and turned her head. His lips were just inches from hers. He started to lean in but stopped when he heard Jade over the monitor.
"I'll go get her" he said rushing away and into the house. She sighed and stood up. She hadn't seen him much over the last few days so it hadn't been to hard to not want him, but today... This was tougher than she thought. She needed someone to talk to and Bree was out of town. He was her only other friend. Funny, when did she start considering him a friend? She walked into the house and heard Jade crying which alerted her immediately. She ran into the living room and saw that Gerard was holding her.
"It's okay sweet heart it was just a nightmare" He said against her hair. She was sniffling and wiping her face with her shirt. She looked up and saw Olivia and reached out her arms.
"I want Livy" She said and climbed up Olivia until she rested against her hip. She looked at Gerard to see his reaction. He shook his head with a little smile. At least he wasn't mad that she wanted her over him.
"I think these Villains in the Disney movies are getting to you honey" Olivia said running her hand down Jades hair.
Jade had her head on Olivia's shoulder and now had her thumb in her mouth. Olivia noticed that the little girl did this whenever she was upset. It was adorable. Gerard stood up and pushed his forehead against his daughters.
"I know what we can do"He said acting like he just came up with a great idea.
"What daddy" She asked lifting her head off Olivia's shoulder.
"We could go get some dinner then ice cream! How does that sounds" HE asked seeing immediately that she loved the idea.
"Only if Livy can come" She insisted.
"Well of course Livy will come. Wont you Livy" He asked her. She looked at them both and couldn't say no.
"Of course I will go. Just let me get out of these heels" She said handing Jade to Gerard.
"Hurry" Jade yelled as Olivia headed to her room. She kicked off her shoes and grabbed some flip flops then ran out of the room.
"I'm ready" she smiled.
Gerard looked at the pizza menu then back up at Olivia. "What do you want on your pizza?" He asked and she shrugged.
"She wikes cheese"Jade announced loudly.
"That's surprising. That's a little to simple to be your choice" He joked. Olivia rolled her eyes.
"I do like lots of stuff on my pizza but Jade and I were eating my favorite pizza. I like just cheese when it's my favorite" She winked at Jade.
"Daddy wikes everything" Jade grinned and ate another piece of bread.
"I do but we can get what you gals want". "I would like sausage, pepperoni, and onions. What about you" She asked Jade.
"I wike that. I want dat dad" She handed her menu back to Gerard.
"Okay sausage, pepperoni, and sausage it is" He signaled for the waiter and ordered for them then sat back.
The conversation flowed between the three of them. Gerard was having fun with the girls. He listened to Jades chatter about school and watched as Olivia listened intently to what his daughter was saying. It was moments like this when he realized how lonely he was. It felt right for there to be a women sitting with him and Jade. Olivia looked over at him and smiled. He felt his heart leap from is chest. He shook it off. It couldn't be like that with him and Olivia.
Jade was having so much fun at dinner. She loved Jade so much already and Gerard, she just adored him. She wished she could have been Jades mother... she tried not to think about it but sometimes she couldn't help it. Who wouldn't want that little girl. She laughed as she watched Jade make faces at her and Gerard. This felt so right! Stop thinking about it, she warned herself. After dinner they went for ice cream and walked around Central Park. As she walked Jade put her hand in Olivia's then she reached for Gerard's. She and Gerard looked at each other then quickly looked away. Jade didn't know what picture she was making.
"Swing me pwease" The little girl said happily. Olivia decided she could dream for and evening and gave in to the little girls request. She assumed Gerard did as well because he agreed and began to swing Jade with her.
Later that night after Gerard put Jade to bed he walked into the kitchen and stared at Olivia's door. He had, had such a good time with them both that evening and hadn't wanted it to end. It felt natural the three of them. "Stop it" He warned himself. He headed up to his attic after he grabbed his coffee. He had to do some final touches on the new comic. He walked in and immediately spotted the picture he had drawn of Olivia. He shook his head at himself and headed to his drawing table. He bent over and flipped threw what he already had. He was going to have to pull and all niter, he could see that already. He had been up there for a few hours when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He turned and thought he was dreaming. Olivia was standing there in a short white robe. He could see that she was wearing a tank top and pj shorts under it.
"Couldn't sleep" She shrugged.
"So this is where you hide out" She asked as she looked around the room. He didn't say a word. He just watched her. She turned and smiled.
"What are you working on" She asked as she walked over towards him. He ran his hands threw his hair.
"My comic" he said shyly.
"You mind if I look" She asked as she picked up the pages. He saw the surprise on her face.
"This is great Gerard. You are amazingly talented" She said in shock. He was still such a mystery to her even now.
She saw him blush "Thanks". She forgot how shy he could get. Then he watched her eyes grow even wider. "Is this me" She asked holding up the drawing. He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He never intended for her to find the drawing. She looked up at him and smiled. He watched her bring her hand to his cheek and caress it lightly.
"You make me look so beautiful" she said then leaned forward to press her forehead against his. He leaned into her and brought his hand up to touch her cheeks.
"You are beautiful" What were they doing? She looked into his eyes and wanted to cry at the pain she saw there. What could she do to help? Jade's mom had done damage, and she knew all about how painful life could be.
"How bad did she hurt you" She asked and felt his hands slide from her face. He backed away and turned.
"She and I were never really together. You have to understand the kind of person I used to be" he turned and looked at her.
"I met her on tour. She did PR work for another band. She had tried to sleep with me since the beginning of the tour but didn't succeed until we'd been on the road for a couple of months" He lit a cigarette and leaned against his drawing table.
"She was a pretty girl, dark hair, blue eyes... She had been out at the same bar I was and practically threw herself at me. I was wasted most of the time then and so was she. It lasted a few weeks. We just fucked, that's it" He inhaled and she listened intently.
"Then a month after the tour ends she tells me she's pregnant. I was completely shocked. That was the last thing I ever expected" He shook his head thinking back to that time.
"I at first didn't want anything to do with her or the baby but then she begged me to go to the first ultra sounds... That's where my life changed. I heard that little heart beat and everything stopped" She watched the emotion in his eyes and voice.
"I quit the drugs and the drinking. I went to AA meetings and got a sponsor. I was gonna do whatever i could to be a good dad to that baby. I took care of all of her doctor bills. Put her up in a nice place... made sure she was comfortable. I didn't want to be with her but I would have to get along with her. She went into labor. I was scared to death. The guys stayed all night in the hospital waiting. I remember hearing Jade cry for the first time. I cried like a baby" He smiled remembering and he saw Olivia smiling to.
"I will never forget how much love I felt for her the first time I saw her and held her. But her mother didn't feel the same. A week after Jade was born she left. Said she wasn't cut out for being a mother. I was shocked. What was I going to do with a one week old? I called the doctor and found out what baby formula to use. Jamia Franks wife was over all the time as was my mother, helping me. From time to time Krystal likes to drop in and see her. Personally I could give a shit about the women but I hate her for Jades sake. She deserved better than that" He felt the hate all over again for the women he had a two week fling with. He looked up at Olivia and saw that she had tears in her eyes.
"I didn't mean to upset you" he said sadly.
"I just hate that for Jade. Who wouldn't want her? She is the most precious little girl. I hate that women and I don't even know her" She said angrily. He walked up to her wiped a stray tear.
"You should go get some sleep" He said smiling.
"I should" She said and turned to leave.
"Oh and Gerard" She said and he turned.
"Thanks for telling me. I know it was hard for you" Then she was gone.
He turned and leaned over her picture. This face was taking up his dreams. He turned if over quickly sighed and started working on his comic again. He couldn't think anymore tonight.