I think Sasuke knew before I did that i was not cut for Hokage...
Aren’t you happy, Naruto-kun?
You must be very proud of yourself, Naruto.
I’m so happy for you, Naruto.
I dreamed of being Hokage since I was a child. I never knew I would feel like this.
The day I was graced by the presence of Tsunade-Baa-chan, I felt like I could protect Konoha. When she told me she was leaving it up to me, I felt gleeful…and very excited. I felt like this was what I wanted to do.
I wanted to become a part of the community, be a part of my people…
Instead, I stay inside of the office with the lights out…completely unwilling to talk to anyone.
In the midst of things, I wanted nothing to do with a lot of people…once I became Hokage, I placed myself in a shell and feel my nerves turn to steel. I proceeded with missions and instructed shinobi’s of our future. Never did I bother to form a personal relationship with them.
Sakura stopped coming by along with Shikamaru. Kiba and Rock-Lee never bothered. Chouji and Ino kept away. Neji never liked me. Hinata still visits.
I talk to Kaka-sensei all the time. He stands by the window…comes and goes when he pleases. He knows what happened. He knows where I’m going.
When I was a child, I would look at the statues of the Hokages and one day pictured my face there. I told everyone I got a hold of that I will become Hokage. They didn’t believe me, the villagers, and casted me aside because the Kyuubi is inside of me. But, after the fight with Pain, I was considered Konoha’s hero. Uzumaki Naruto…a hero. No more “Demon Child”. A true hero…and yet that seems so fake to me.
I look at Konoha and sometimes, I can picture myself destroying it, killing each member of each clan slowly. Show them the true extend of the Kyuubi’s power. I feel like they deserve that much.
I guess becoming Hokage wasn’t something I was made to do. If I cannot become the “Orange Hokage” I promised mother, then, what will I become? What is my destiny? How will I obtain it?
For a moment, I closed my eyes. I felt the tears come. It is time for me to go home. “Kaka-sensei?” I called. He stepped in. His dark eye looked directly into mine. His silver hair blew gently with the wind. “I’m going home,”
“Goodnight, Hokage-sama,” He said. I cringed. I exited the room and walked down the hall slowly. No, this job is not made for me.
The moon lid up the dark night while Konoha slept to its desire. Sluggishly, I moved to see you place your robes on. Your fair skin was covered and your onyx colored hair was a bit unkempt. My insides began to scream. “Naruto…do you ever feel if you can get up and run away, you would? If you had the power to leave, you would?”Silence engulfed the room as I watched him leave. “I’m not running away because I’m ashamed. I’m running away because I know I love you and you and I are not meant to me. I want you to do what makes you happy…not what is the right thing to do,”
I love you, Sasuke
“Promise me that you will do something that will make you happy.”
I really love you, Sasuke
“Promise me you won’t become Hokage and I promise to stay close,”
A rouge ninja is what they call shinobis like him. Running away and traveling alone...I think Sasuke knew before I did that I wasn’t cut for Hokage. I was desperate to keep him at my side and told him what he wanted to hear. He promised not to attack anyone to avenge Itachi. I think we both knew the other was lying.
“I won’t become Hokage…just stay in my arms a little longer. I rarely see you…and after hunting you down for so many years, the least you can do is stay a little longer,”
I made it to the gate and watched it. The trees rustled on the outside.
“Naruto! He’s dangerous. He’s killing everybody! Take him down.”
I just became Hokage and he’s killing everyone. Stop it! Stop!
Revenge is a thirst no one can stop. It is one of those things that must happen. I leaned onto the gate and closed my eyes. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my heart.
“Hokage-sama, Sasuke is dead. Konoha is safe once more,”
I’m not writing this as a letter. Nor is this an apology. I’m clearly stating the obvious, listening facts. Uzumaki Naruto was not destined to be Hokage. He is not a savior, someone to worship but a human being who contains so much anger…and grief. You may disapprove, demand answers, call me a traitor…it will not guarantee my return.
With anger flowing through my veins, how can I protect you? I cannot and will not promise anything. I will leave it up to you.
Hunt me, hate me, and do as you please. Do it until your limbs disintegrate from overexertion, until your heads explode with anguish. Treat me the way you treated Itachi and Sasuke in Konoha…as a rouge ninja who is the enemy. Belittle me. Banish me. Target me. Eliminate my existence. Remove my face from the Hokage wall. Do everything that satisfies you.
Just leave me be.