Emotional whiplash, anyone?
"Only starting, love? Oh, no. That just won't do."
He glided from his spot and took me by the hand pinned me up against the wall.
"What are you feeling, Christine? It should be terror."
"It is." I shakily exhaled.
"Good girl. A very good girl." He lowered his face to kiss my neck. His actions and emotions were giving me whiplash. I had to stand up to him. Somehow.
"I'm not terrified of you, Gerard. I'm terrified of what you're hiding."
"Which is the precise reaction I wanted. How do you like those strings baby?"
"What strings? What the hell are you talking about?"
"You're my puppet.Making every move I wish you to."
"I may be a lot of things, Gerard. But a puppet I am not." I pushed him away with all my might, walking to the other side of the room.
"Oh-ho-ho, feisty." He chuckled, brushing himself off.
"God, I can't stand you stand you sometimes."
"Oh, Christine. That hurt." He gasped sarcastically.
"It's hard to feel pain when your emotions are a roller coaster."
"Well, I don't see you walking away. And as far as roller coasters go, I never liked amusement parks. So perhaps its you in for the ride."
"I won't walk away. It's my job to tour with you. Not like I can anyway."
"Hmm. Won't or don't want to, sugar?" He walked to me and kissed my cheek. I let it slide.
"Can we play human for a second, Gerard?"
"But I am."
"No, not like this."
"Oh, I see. You want to see the real me. Well here it is, honey. Get used to it."
"No, this is a part of you. Not entirely you. A part, Gerard. Let me see the good that I get to glimpse at every so often."
He turned away in a flash. He balled his hands into fist and I could tell the calm before the storm was over. He turned back to me and his screams began to fill the room
"What?! Do you want to see me vulnerable?! On my knees begging for love?! Do you want to be a part of this darkness that consumes me?! Because it's sure as hell ugly. It's what I am, Christine. Can't you fucking see that?! Ugly! Tattered! Abused! Dark! Honey, I'm fucking tragic with a capital "T" and I WILL bring you down. I swear to you I will."
He was a few inches from my face.My throat felt like it had a knot in it. I could see the self hate and fear in his eyes. I tried to speak.
"What are you so afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of anything." He backed away.
"I can see it in your eyes."
"You see nothing."
"I see much more than you think, Gerard."
"Do you now, sugar? Just know it is a short distance from the razor to the rosary."
"Riddles, always speaking in riddles! Whatever it is you have. The happy, the tragic, anger, fear, love, hate! I'll take it all if you would just let me."
"Christine, patience is a virtue, but ignorance is a death wish."
"Then take my hand and lead me to the fucking gallows."
He chuckled, walking to me once more. My breath hitched, not knowing how to react.
"As you wish." He kissed my lips and walked to the desk. I watched him write on a piece of paper. He ripped it from the note pad, folding it once.
"Meet me at the address written after the show and meet and greet." I took it in my hand, keeping it shut.
"I'm leaving. Don't bother to follow." He kissed my forehead and walked away. He sang on his way out the door.
"Never again, never again they gave us two shots to the back of the head."