Shortly after Harry's flight from Snape's dungeon, Hermione catches up to him in the corridor.
- Oooookay... The rating buttons appear to be broken just now. Pfui. +1 moving. So there. Yes, that H/Hr scene was uncomfortable. That says you nailed it close enough, because those scenes ARE uncomfortable (hellish, actually, in my experience) when you're living 'em. Keep going, please.
Author's responseTrue enough; it wouldn't have felt right if it hadn't been awkward. I was worried I made it a bit too awkward/sappy, but most people seem to think it turned out OK.
I haven't begun work on Chapter 4 just yet, but should do so soon. There will definitely be at least 5 chapters. Could it be more? Possibly. I've given up on trying to gauge how long my stories will end up being.
- Not too sappy at all; you nailed the scene between H and HR exceedingly well, IMHO. Such scenes are bound to be uncomfortable, at any age, because there's a lot on the line for both parties and opening up like that is never easy.
Bravo!! for a most well-done chapter.
Author's responseYou're right; whether they'd been 14 or 34, that moment still would have been at least a bit uncomfortable.
Glad you liked it.
- bit on the sappy side, but since its a sappy moment, you get a pass on it.
next bit ought to be interesting though, the results from ch2 ending.
Author's responseYeah, the situation called for at least a bit of sappiness.
As far as the fallout from the ending of Chapter 2: if you're referring to Ron's reaction, we'll be getting that in Chapter 4. We probably won't be hearing from Snape, though, at least not yet.
- Well, sappy or not, I liked it. Teenagers tend to doubt themselves in affairs of the heart and I think you've played this perfectly. Teenage love rarely survives in the long term, people move on, but in some cases and this would be one where your best friend for years is also your love interest, it'll work. JKR missed the boat on that one, since her own life was so messed up until she met Mr. right. Ron and Hermione? Puleeze! That was never going to work. Harry and Ginny? What did they have in common? They would have wound up drifting apart.
Author's responseI'm willing to accept that Harry and Ginny might have been able to work--primarily because I just didn't learn enough about Ginny during the books to really be able to gauge how compatible she and Harry would be. I didn't like that she said she "never gave up" on Harry, though. What does that mean--she never gave up on her hero-worship of the Boy-Who-Lived? Meh. It wasn't a well-written romance, but I can accept it because, like I said, I just don't know enough about Ginny to feel confident in saying she wouldn't be good with Harry long-term.
Ron and Hermione, though? I completely agree. They spent years seemingly constantly arguing with each other, and their personalities appear to clash horribly. I don't think JKR could have picked someone less suitable for Hermione if she'd tried. I don't dislike Ron (aside from when he's being a stubborn jerk, that is), but I just think he and Hermione are all wrong for each other.
(#) siledubhghlase 2010-07-20 09:35:42 PMIt wasn't sappy at all. It was very sweet. Teenagers are loaded with self-doubt, especially teenagers who had been abused or shunned most of their lives. Harry and Hermione had been through the mill up to this point, what with childhood insecurities and all the crap they had to take about Rita's articles.
The raw honesty in this chapter made it the success it is. And yes, good fluff is very hard to write, and sex is even harder (no pun intended). Love scenes of any kind can be either sweet and romantic or shallow and sophomoric. You hit sweet and romantic right on the head here. Well done!
Author's responseIndeed, I think the lives Harry and Hermione had led up to this point made their self-doubt believable.
Glad you liked it. I think your review was more eloquent than the story itself is. :)
(#) datbenik513 2010-08-10 12:35:00 AMCome on, Mayor, it was the best coming-out scene I've ever read in a fanfic (or in any other story, for what it matters). For a moment, I relived my fifteen-year old self going through the same... Bravo!
It was also precisely how I'd been imagining Harry and Hermione in this situation. Like siledubhglase mentioned, both were kind of outcasts, abused, ridiculed all their life, no wonder they were afraid to show emotions, real/, /honest emotions. They've been friends for too long and they were afraid of risking it "by saying som'thing stupid like 'I love you'"
Author's responseThe best you've ever read, huh? Wow! As for my own doubts about the scene, which I mentioned in my A/N: what can I say? I tend to be pretty critical of my writing.
I felt both Harry & Hermione would behave rather awkwardly in this situation, given their upbringings, and would be afraid to risk what they already had. I'm glad you think that I captured their behavior.