Gerard sits alone, he feels alone, till he comes staggering back home. P.S. if you don't like smut then please don't read. R&R!
I sat on my bed, sighed as I looked out of the window, a dog barking, people shouting, the street lamps guiding many along the street. One of those many must be him. Staggering home from a club, probably from a bar fight or being kicked out for being pissed. I don’t blame them. I don’t know how I can still put up with him for four whole years. It has been a drag, at felt amazing but now he comes home pissed, he hits me, attacks me, even rapes me, or forces me in to sex, I may agree to it but I hate every minute of it. I cried as he thrusted himself in and out of me, hoping it will end quickly.
I heard the front door of the flat slam shut. I jumped at the sight of him staggering into the bedroom.
“How s-sweet, you’re watin for me,” he slurred.
I sighed. I know what he wanted.
“Come on, lets make it quick,” he said. Make it quick, it sound like I’m a whore who he wants a quick fuck in the park.
“I don’t want to,” I said.
“You fucking will bitch, you will or I’ll kill you,” he said.
“Please Ray,” I muttered.
He slapped me.
“Let me fuck you or I’ll break your neck,” he said.
I lay down on the bed.
I heard he zipper been pulled down, I heard his trousers hit the floor.
“Get your clothes off then,” he slurred.
I didn’t argue, I knew if I did he would attack me till I was so much in pain that he could take advantage of me. I took all my clothes off, exposing all my bruises from him, only a day old. I turned to see that he was naked and waiting for me. I lay on the bed, he straddled me. I looked at him, he is still so beautiful, but his eyes were bright red and looked sore, I remember when I use to kissed his neck, and he chest. But now it was just a quick fuck, nothing more, nothing less.
He covered his cock in spit then shoved it into me. Thrusting in and out as I screamed.
“Scream my name,” he panted.
I didn’t look at him, I had my head facing to the right as the tears rolled down my face.
“Scream my name bitch, or are you screaming someone else’s name when they are fucking you?” he asked.
“No Ray, I don’t let anyone do that to me except you,” I said softly.
“Well then scream my name over and over again,” he panted.
“Ray!” I screamed.
“Yeah baby, that right, do it again whore, scream it bitch,” he said.
“Ray!” I screamed. He hit my spot.
“Fuck Ray, you hit it!” I screamed, he hadn’t hit my spot in ages.
“Beg me bitch, beg me to hit it over and over,” he said.
“Please Ray, God you haven’t done it in ages, please Ray,” I begged.
“You’re my bitch aren’t you? You’re a fucking whore, a little slut, you beg like one and moan like one, but you’re my one aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes! Yes! I’m your slut and whore, just please Ray, I love it when you hit it,” I said, I did sound desperate, but it was the only pleasure I was getting that I hadn’t had in months.
“Because you’re my bitch, and I haven’t seen you do this for ages without me forcing myself on you, I will, just this once,” he said.
He hit it over and over, harder and harder, faster and faster.
“Fuck Ray!” I screamed. I came after that. He soon followed. He collapsed next to me, his face in the pillow. This was my chance, to see if what he just did proved that he loved me.
“Ray?” I asked. He groaned, but didn’t move his face from the pillow.
“Do you love me?” I asked. He looked up at me.
“I’m going to have a shower, then a drink,” he said.
That just proved it to me, before he hit the drink, before he was violent, he would always answer that question with a simple yes. But now I didn’t get a yes, nor a no. That showed me that he didn’t love me, I was just this thing that he could take it out on.
I put my clothes on and got a bag out, I packed everything I needed, clothes, shoes, money, just everything I needed.
I got a piece of paper and a pen and wrote:
Before you drank, you was the most amazing boyfriend in the world, I loved you so much, you were so special to me. But now you attack, abuse and take advantage of me. I asked you if you love me, you couldn’t even answer that. Just go clean yourself up, get help for the drink and violence, till then don’t bother me.
Love Gerard x
I left it on the table by a box of painkillers. I ran, ran from him, from my home and when straight outside, where it was raining, I got in the car and drove, I don’t know why but I ended up at my parent’s. I stared at the house, grabbed my bag and ran to the house. I knocked on the door, my mom opened the door.
“Gerard!” she shouted.