Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It Could Be Exactly The Same

Or Maybe Kill Ourselves But Live Again

by hannahfrerard 7 Reviews

Part 2, enjoy :)

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst - Characters: Frank Iero - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2010/07/24 - Updated: 2010/08/25 - 1876 words - Complete

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It had been a bleak day. As I’d driven home from work, a thick fog had hung over the grey skyline, permeating the tiny vehicle that was my car; tainting my mood. It had been a bad day, and the fog certainly hadn’t helped.
Annoyed by the silence, I had switched the radio on, and since it had never been used before, it was on some sort of shit default channel.
However, after a couple of minutes of some guy rapping about ‘Slapping his bitch up’, something decent finally came on.
Gentle, slowly spoken words to the tune of a simple piano, the male singer sounded fragile, yet strong. It was delicate, yet powerful. A cacophony of guitars and cymbals and drums had suddenly exploded, and then the singer came back strong. I was enchanted; I’d never heard something so intense. Well, not since I’d last heard My Chemical Romance.
Turning the volume up, I’d started to sway my head and tapping the foot that was on the accelerator, resulting in my car jittering forwards, and then stopping abruptly. But I didn’t care how idiotic I must have looked, and I didn’t care about the traffic mounting and honking behind my shaking car.
When the song had ended, I listened intently to find out who had sung it; yet was pissed to find that the jackass radio DJ didn’t say who it was. By this time, I had reached home, and was in my driveway, cursing like an idiot. I couldn’t understand why I needed to hear who this band was so much; I just knew it was one of the best things I’d ever heard.
Exasperated, I’d got out of the car to go in, the high I’d felt from hearing the music soon disappearing, leaving me, once again, in a foul mood. I’d growled ‘Hi’ to my wife Jamia, and stormed upstairs to the safety of my office, and the internet connection I praised so highly.

‘We’ll carry on, and though you’re broken and defeated, your memory will carry on’, I had typed into the search engine, these seeming key lyrics.
Up popped a load of sites, and I gaped as I saw the first result. ‘My Chemical Romance Welcome to The Black Parade Lyrics: We’ll carry on…’
My Chemical Romance! Suddenly, it had all made sense. Gerard’s ability to sound so weak, yet to portray the fact that he would prevail and succeed in the end. The expert guitar playing of Ray and Mikey, and Bob on the drums. YouTube, I had thought.
For a long time that night, I’d holed up in the office, listening to Welcome to the Black Parade and all the other sketchy demos that had sprung up. Somehow, through my trawling off all things My Chem related on the internet, I had missed any new songs. Somehow, I hadn’t figured out that they would be making new music. My wife came in at about 3am that morning, worry etched onto her face. “Come to bed Frank,” she’d pleaded, “Or at least turn that music down.” But I’d ignored her, angrily waving her away with a wave of my hand, and gone back to searching the internet.
The next day, I’d woken up at noon with my head on the keyboard. The keys had made dents on my face. Jamia entered the room holding a steaming mug of coffee, and I couldn’t help relating that back to Gerard’s love of coffee. “Frankie, you should have been at work three hours ago. How long were you on the computer for last night?” Jamia had asked.
“Erm, I’m not sure.” I’d lied; knowing I’d fallen asleep just after 6am. She’d looked at me strangely, and then left the room. I think that was around the time my marriage had first started falling apart.

A couple of weeks later, I came home from work, happy because I’d just been listening to The Black Parade album. It had been on repeat on my car since I’d bought it, and I loved all the songs, especially Famous Last Words. Jamia had been home, because it was her day off work. I’d walked in the door, and she was leaning against the wall in just black panties. She smiled enticingly at me, and beckoned me forward. “Hi baby.” She whispered into my ear as I embraced her, “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah…”
She’d quickly undressed me, and then taken her panties off. Pressing her lips to mine, she’d muttered “We haven’t done this in ages.”
“Should I get a...um… condom?” I’d awkwardly asked. She hadn’t replied.
Then she’d knelt down, and taken me in her mouth. A groan escaped my lips, and she smiled wickedly up at me.
“You like that baby? You like it?”
In response, I’d groaned even louder.
“You’ve been a bad boy, Mr Iero. A very bad boy.”
She’d held my member in her hand then, sliding her hand slowly up and down the shaft.
“F-u-u-u-u-u-c-k” I’d moaned, and then come all over her hand. She’d looked me in the eye, and then licked her hand, still keeping eye contact.
I’d lifted her up then, and pushed into her. I’d pressed her into the wall as I pushed rhythmically backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards.
She screamed my name, and I had to bite my tongue not to scream ‘Gerard’.
Jamia... Gerard ...Jamia!
Luckily she didn’t notice me whispering Gerard’s name as I came, she was too busy screeching mine.
I’d slipped out of her, and gently set her down on the floor. Her eyes were wide, and an elated smile was on her face.
“I’d forgotten how good you were Frankie. We don’t screw enough.”
I’d laughed then, and gone upstairs telling her I needed a shower.
When I was in the shower, thoughts had run through my head. I hated knowing that I’d pictured Gerard’s face as I fucked Jamia, and had to stop myself from calling his name. I hated knowing that Jamia couldn’t turn me on anymore. That a man could. Even before, when I’d been just as enamored with Gerard, when I’d thought of Jamia, I came.
I’d turned the shower off, and then hastily got dressed. I’d run past Jamia dressing in the hall, and then opened the door, cool air hitting my face as I’d vomited into the grass outside.


I’m sitting at my desk still. Tears creeping down my face. I can’t believe she’s pregnant. Suddenly, a sign appears on my screen: 1 new message. I click on it, and see that Mikey has replied.
‘Hey Frank!!! Haven’t heard from you in a LONG TIME! Man, it’s great about G +Lynz, huh? We’re all pretty psyched. Here’s a thought: we’re coming to NJ, me Gerard, Lynz and my wife Alicia on the 20th to see our parents. Perhaps we could meet up? That is, if you still live here! Mikey.’
I gape at the message as a million different emotions run through my body. Excitement – I get to see Gerard. Anger – His wife’s coming and she’s pregnant. Nervousness: Last night I screamed Gerard’s name as I made love to Jamia.
Mine and Jamia’s relationship changed after that day we had sex in the hall. Jamia got pregnant. When she told me a month later, I faked enthusiasm. But I knew I couldn’t bring a child into the world when I didn’t love Jamia. The due date grew nearer and nearer, until one day Jamia went to the bathroom, and screamed my name when she got there. The blood in her pants and the toilet didn’t look good. We went to the hospital; she miscarried. She eventually stopped crying, but the next time she came onto me, she refused to let me wear a condom and cried that she wanted a baby. I didn’t wear one, but slipped the morning after pill into her morning coffee and didn’t even feel guilty. Then last night, as she once again came onto me, a little desperately, my mind was in turmoil and I shouted Gerard’s name as I came. She’d frozen up, and then climbed out from under me and ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since, and its noon now.
I pull away from the computer, and knock cautiously on the locked bathroom door. Images flash through my mind of her lying in the bath, her wrists slit when she doesn’t answer. But then I hear her whisper, “Go away.”
“Jamia. Please, let me in. I love you.” Even though I don’t love her the way I do Gerard, part of me loves and cares for her. She’s my wife; the one I tell everything to. Except about Gerard.
“Then… why did you call that name?” She hisses, and her voice is thick with tears.
“I… Jamia honey I don’t know. Look, I’m just stressed. Work. A bit unfocused. That name means nothing. You’re the only one for me.” I hate lying to her, but I can’t stand to let her go.
I hear her unlock the door, and I gently open it.
“Honey…” I sigh into her shoulder as I hug her. “It’s okay.”
“I… Frankie I just… I really want a baby. Your baby.”
I mutter noncommittally under my breath. I know I’m being selfish holding onto Jamia when she could be finding someone who truly loves every part of her and wants her children, but I can’t be alone.
I gently lead her into the bedroom, and lay her down on the bed. “Jamia, you need some rest.” I kiss her forehead as her eyes close
Walking back to the office, I click ‘reply’ to Mikey’s email.
‘Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe we could just go out, you me and Gerard. Lynz and Alicia could meet my wife Jamia. Could order some non alcoholic beers :) How about we meet at that club in Hoboken? See ya then, Frank.’ I press send, glad I’ve found a way so I don’t have to be with Lynz, or my wife.
Ten minutes past, and I receive a new email.
‘Hi Frank. It’s Gerard. Mikey gave me your email address. It’ll be great to meet up, I know the last time wasn’t exactly ideal :/ We played a gig in that Hoboken club, it’s very friendly. I guess it can just be you me and Mikey this time, but I’ll have to introduce you and Lynz some other time :) xoxo Gerard’
I’m feeling breathless, and I can’t help wondering if everything is falling into place.


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Thanks for reading guys :) Part 3 (possibly the final part) will be uploaded soon. Rates & Reviews appreciated :D xoxo
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