Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Kitty-Kat - The Demonic Pussy! (I WISH THIS WAS FICTION)
Horrfically true but funny story. Held captive by my sisters cat. Told using MCR boys.
Kitty-Kat - The Demonic Pussy!
‘Mikes are you sure you want to do this?’ Gerard asked for the hundredth time.
‘Positive’ he heard his brother say ‘Kitty Kat can’t stay here, the place isn’t big enough for him and he wants to be outside. You have to take him you have a back yard and everything.’
‘Alright I’ll take him’ Gerard said with a smile. He had played with Kitty Kat a thousand times at Mikey’s house and thought he was the best cat in the world. He was big and cuddly and loved affection. He was a great animal. ‘I’ll take good care of him I promise.’
‘I know you will that’s why I asked you first’ Mikey replied
‘Bring him over tomorrow’ Gerard said
‘Cool, see you then’ Mikey replied feeling relief at the fact that his cat was going to a good home.
The next day Gerard found himself rushing home to get ready for Kitty Kat’s arrival. He couldn’t stop smiling at having a new companion to love and take care of. He imagined them falling asleep together, the cat keeping his feet warm as he slept. He was so excited as he updated his face book status
Getting a cat today his name is Kitty Kat, he’s big and ginger and I can’t wait to go home and play with him
Yeah, having a new cat was going to be great.
Just after seven Gerard opened the door to his brother and new housemate.
‘Ok Kitty Kat’ Mikey said opening the door on the cat carrier ‘this is your new home.’
Kitty Kat confidently left his carrier and began exploring the house, his ginger and white tail up in the air as it happily purred and rubbed himself against Gerard and Mikey.
‘He is huge’ Gerard stated as Kitty Kat jumped onto his lap pushing his whiskers eagerly against Gerard’s hand.
‘I know he’s a proper cat.’ Mikey said proudly as he clicked his fingers for the cat to come ‘aren’t you?’ he cooed as the animal delighted in his attention ‘you’re a man’s cat aren’t you?’
After several more minutes of play Mikey bid his farewell to his beloved cat and left.
Gerard closed the door and turned to smile at his new friend ‘I guess it’s just the two of us huh?’ he said perching on the end of the sofa and giving the cats head a quick scratch.
‘Come on let’s go upstairs’ Gerard reached down and picked up the cat and headed upstairs he placed the cat down gently on the landing. ‘This is my room’ he said proudly and to his surprise Kitty Kat hissed at him and ran down the stairs.
Confused Gerard followed the cat downstairs and found him in the living room. ‘Not ready to come upstairs yet huh? Gerard said sitting on the end of the sofa stroking the cat who purred.
After a few minutes Gerard decided that he really should get to writing some of his story, he was coming to the end of a chapter and he was excited about it. As he stood up Kitty Kat walked directly in his way.
‘Out the way cat’ Gerard said with a smile and to his horror the cat hissed at him.
‘What’s the matter? He said leaning down to stroke the cat. He snatched his hand back as Kitty Kat swiped at his palm and then meowed a long and low sound in the back of his throat.
‘What the hell?’ Gerard said backing up and to his shock the cat followed him all the while making the long and low meowing sound. Gerard found his feet against the bottom of the sofa and he started to panic as he realised he was trapped between it and the now angry cat.
‘Easy there Kitty Kat’ Gerard gulped his arms up in defence.
‘MEOW!!!!’ Kitty Kat growled lunging at Gerard’s leg.
Gerard screamed as the cat’s claw dug into his foot and he shook off the animal running from it as it chased him around the living room making demonic sounds as it pursued him. Gerard had never been chased by a cat before and he found it even scarier then the time one of Frank’s dogs chased him up a tree.
‘THAT’S ENOUGH KITTY KAT!’ Gerard bellowed turning to face that cat and clapping his hands once loudly. The cat hissed but backed off and Gerard legged it up the stairs closing his bedroom door with a shaking hand.
He dialled Mikey’s number.
‘'Sup’ Mikey answered
‘You need to come and get your fucking cat’ Gerard said trying to control the shake in his voice.
‘What? Why?’ Mikey demanded
‘Your cat just attacked me and chased me around the living room.’ Gerard said. As he spoke he updated his facebook status.
OMG BROTHER’S CAT IS CRAZY, IT HAS DOMINATED THE LOWER FLOOR KITTY KAT IS NOT FRIENDLY. I REPEAT! KITTY-KAT IS NOT FRIENDLY. I’M BLEEDING. SEND HELP!
‘What are you serious?’ Mikey gasped.
‘Like a heart attack. I am freaking out’ Gerard told him
‘He’s never behaved like that before not ever.’ Mikey replied
‘Well he’s acting like it now, he’s all demonic and shit.’ Gerard said.
‘He’s not demonic’ Mikey insisted ‘he just need to settle, leave him alone for a while, he just needs to chill.’
Gerard agreed and he hung up from his brother feeling calmer. He opened his bedroom door and to his joy the cat was not upstairs.
After cleaning his foot Gerard switched on his TV and settled on his bed with his laptop social networking and writing, every so often he’d glance over to his open bedroom door to check Kitty Kat wasn’t there.
An hour later though he appeared and Gerard’s heart rate quickened. 'Calm down animals can smell fear.’
Kitty Kat however seemed to be more relaxed as he walked over to Gerard wanting attention which Gerard happily gave him.
‘This is more like it’ Gerard smiled as the cat left the bed to lay in the middle of the floor. Gerard took the opportunity to snap a few pictured of his new housemate which he would upload to show his friends. As he got up though he noticed Kitty Kats eyes were open and on him watching his every move. Gerard felt uneasy ad he grabbed his USB cable and sat back on the bed. Kitty Kat closed his eyes and relaxed.
Another hour went by and Gerard grew thirsty. Moving his laptop off his stiff legs he got off the bed and took a step towards the door. Kitty Kat jumped up, his tail touching the ground (which isn’t a good sign) and started making that low demonic sound in the back of his throat.
‘Oh my God!’ Gerard panicked as he backed up ‘What’s the matter with you?’
Kitty Kat continued to make the noise low in his throat and Gerard’s heart started to pound. The cat was going to attack. Thinking quickly Gerard grabbed his towel and held it as a barrier between them. This of course only angered Kitty Kat more.
‘Easy now’ Gerard said waking around the animal whose hair was now standing on end as it hissed at him. Gerard ran down the stairs and into the kitchen grabbing the cats' biscuits thinking it would be a good way to deter the animal as it stalked into the kitchen its teeth bared, hissing angrily. Apparantly Kitty Kat doesn't like having a box of biscuits shaken in his face. Who'd have thought it.
‘Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with you?’ Gerard cried as the cat got closer to him. He took a cautious step to the left where the sink was and decided that if he was going to get out alive he’d have to use water.
Gerard quickly filled a glass of water his hands shaking as Kitty Kat hissed and “meowed” a few inches from him.
‘Get back Kitty Kat’ Gerard demanded tossing a little water at the cat. It hissed loudly as it jumped back.
‘Get out of the way’ Gerard continued his voice shaky as he threw the water and used the towel to flick at the unfriendly beast. He managed to beat Kitty Kat back to the front door and Gerard scooted around the kitchen door slowly walking backward up the stairs as the cat continued to growl.
‘OH SHIT’ Gerard yelled as Kitty Kat suddenly howled and broke into a run. Gerard screamed and ran up the remaining steps, racing through his bedroom door and slamming it shut before the cat reached the top of the stairs.
Gerard fell onto his bed, tears in his eyes as his body shook from fear. He had never in his life experienced anything like this before.
He called Mikey.
‘You have to come right now?’ Gerard demanded
‘Your cat just cornered me in my own kitchen and then chased me up the stairs I’ve barricaded myself in my room.’
Mikey didn’t hold back his laughter and it sounded long and hard down the phone as Gerard sat scared on his bed still trembling and holding back his tears.
‘It’s not funny, I’m scared shitless right now Mikes, I really am.’ He insisted ‘He’s crazy.’
Mikey felt bad for laughing ‘there’s nothing I can do now, I’m way far away.’
‘You have to do something’ he insisted.
‘Ok’ Mikey said hearing his brother’s fear ‘you need to go downstairs and let him out.’
‘No’ Gerard said
‘You have to’ Mikey insisted
‘You’re not listening to me I-AM-SHIT-SCARED’ Gerard said slowly so his brother understood ‘There’s no way I am going back outside.’
Mikey sighed as he thought what to do ‘ok call Frank, he can come over you throw him the keys he’ll let the cat out.’
Gerard took a deep breath as he dialled Frank’s number.
‘Hey Gee what’s up?’
‘Mikey’s cat is trying to kill me’
Gerard explained the whole thing to Frank, who surprisingly didn’t laugh.
‘You need to look on line and see what animal behaviour sites say.’ Frank told him.
‘Ok’ Gerard said reaching for his lap top ‘what do I type?’
‘Erm try my cat keeps attacking me’ Frank suggested
Gerard searched the link and read all the relevant stuff back to Frank.
‘So he’s just being dominate’ Frank said ‘you need to man-up and go show him who’s boss’
‘Yeah. No’ Gerard said shaking his head ‘not happening, not leaving this room.’
‘Don’t be such a pussy put on some thick jeans and a jumper and go kick his ass’ Frank demanded
Gerard cringed at the thought. Wasn’t it just safer to stay locked away in his room?
‘Where’s the cat now?’ Frank asked
‘Have no idea’ Gerard said getting off his bed, he walked to the door and lowered himself to the ground looking through the crack of door into the hallway ‘I think he’s downstairs.’
‘Go now and catch him by surprise’ Frank urged him.
‘No. I’ll just stay in here’ Gerard concluded ‘He can’t get me in here’
They talked a while longer and agreed that Gerard would call Ray and have him come over in the morning to let Gerard out. Safety in numbers right?
The next morning.
Gerard slept well considering he had a demonic cat stalking the lower ground of his house. He slid the sofa away from the door (he had pushed it against it for extra protection) and peered out. No sign of Kitty Kat.
Racing to the bathroom he turned on the shower and to his horror he found there was no hot water, the boiler was out.
‘Fuck!’ he cried as his fear came flooding back at having to go downstairs where the beast was.
Throwing on thick track bottoms, a thick hoody and trainers, Gerard crept downstairs. He passed the kitchen and then went to the living room where he found Kitty Kat laying on the sofa starring at him. Faster then lightening Gerard lunged for the door handle and closed the door locking the cat in. Kitty Kat seeing this jumped from the sofa onto the windowsill then onto the shelves knocking down Gerard’s treasured DVD’s and books.
‘In your face’ Gerard squealed glad to have trapped the animal. Kitty Kat though wasn’t impressed and it moved towards the glass door like a snake ready to attack. It reached the door and suddenly it meowed, but not a crazy demonic sound but a cute innocent cat meow and Gerard felt his heart melting.
‘Sorry buddy’ he shrugged ‘can’t let you out just yet.’
Revelling in his new found freedom Gerard fixed the boiler and grabbed his breakfast. He headed upstairs and got ready for work. Just after eight thirty Ray’s car pulled up and he knocked on the door.
‘Ok let’s do this’ Ray said ‘Operation get cat into the garden is under way. Where is it?’ he asked looking through the glass doors and into the living room.
‘WAIT!’ Gerard screamed ‘we have to prepare ourselves this cat is vicious’
Ray huffed and rolled his eyes ‘it’s just a cat.’
Gerard opened the garden door and then braced himself as Ray pushed the living room door open.
‘Where is he?’ Ray whispered as the walked into the room
‘I don’t know’ Gerard replied ‘but it fucking smells of piss in here’ he frowned ‘my sofas are new.’
‘There you are’ Ray cooed overturning a cushion to find Kitty Kat behind it ‘come here Kitty Kat.’
Ray smiled as the cat came towards him but the smile soon vanished when Kitty Kat hissed at him.
‘What the fuck?’ Ray cried angrily ‘get out of here you stupid cat’ he said shooing the cat out the living room door.
‘OUT’ he demanded chasing the cat into the hallway.
Gerard watched from a safe distance as Ray dealt with the beast and he heaved a sigh of relief. No sooner had the breath left his body he heard an almighty growl and the demonic meow of an angry cat.
Gerard jumped out of his skin as Ray screamed
‘Ahhhhhh! Oh my god Oh my god?’ He screeched as he ran into the living room slamming the door in Kitty Kat’s face. ‘Jesus Christ’ he yelled
‘I told you’ Gerard said and he suddenly had the urge to laugh. He threw his head back laughed loudly before it turned into a hysterical giggle
‘We’re trapped’ he sniggered
‘What the fuck!’ Ray said in disbelief as the cat hissed at them through the glass. ‘What is wrong with that cat?’
‘I don’t know’ Gerard said with a nervous laugh. He was glad to have someone else experience the terror instead of people just thinking he was over reacting.
Ray paced the living room trying to find something to use as a weapon to help get them out.
Gerard phone went off and he answered it, it was Mikey.
‘How’s it going?’
‘Great’ he laughed ‘Kitty Kat has successfully trapped Ray and me in the living room.’
Mikey burst out laughing as he pictured the two grown men being held hostage by a ginger cat.
‘It’s not funny’ Ray yelled snatching the phone from Gerard’s hand ‘you need to get your ass here right now.’
‘Can’t’ Mikey explained ‘I’m at an appointment.’
‘This is bullshit’ Ray fumed as Gerard giggled in the back ground wondering what he would say to his boss when he rang in to take the day off. It was clear they weren’t going any where soon.
‘Ok listen up’ Mikey said as Ray put him on speaker phone ‘You two need to man up. There’s two of you and only one little cat’
‘Lies! Ray shouted ‘that cat is anything but little.’
‘Either way there’s safety in numbers. Here’s what you do grab the floor cushions and go on the attack and drive the cat back and out into the garden. You can do this.’ He encouraged hanging up.
‘Hand me those cushions Gerard’ Ray said psyching himself up taking one in each hand. ‘I would just grab the fucker but he’ll tear us to pieces’ Ray said taking a deep breath ‘You ready’ he asked Gerard who was still giggling as he armed himself. He nodded.
‘Let’s do this’ Ray said. He pressed his face up against the glass attempting to look down the hallway. Kitty Kat wasn’t there. He opened the door and the demonic sound came immediately from the kitchen.
Ray threw the first cushion causing Kitty Kat to jump back in alarm, he bared his teeth and hissed as Gerard and Ray advanced on him.
‘Back the fuck up Kitty Kat’ Ray commanded as he jumped forward forcing the cat back toward the open back door.
Gerard held back cheering Ray on using his cushions like pom poms as he watched his mighty friend take down the ginger beast
‘OUT KITTY KAT’ Ray yelled and he threw his last cushion making Kitty Kat run out the door and Ray chased him slamming the door and locking it.
‘Yes’ Gerard screamed racing to the door.
‘In your face’ Ray screamed ‘I AM KING! I-AM-KING’
‘Oh my god stop taunting the cat’ Gerard said suddenly as the watched the cat scan the outside of the house for an open window.
‘Oh my god the bathroom window is open’ Gerard whispered
‘GO!’ Ray wailed shoving Gerard through the kitchen door, they raced upstairs and slammed the bathroom window closed locking it tightly.
With the cat safely outside the two men headed downstairs laughing hysterically as they came down from their ordeal.
‘You see?’ Gerard said finally ‘I wasn’t exaggerating.’
‘No you weren’t’ Ray agreed ‘lets get the fuck out here, we’re both late for work.’
Gerard locked up and got into Ray’s car glad to be out of his house. Suddenly Ray started laughing loudly.
‘What’s so funny?’ Gerard asked a grin on his face as they drove away from his house.
‘I just thought about it’ Ray howled ‘He’ll be here waiting for you when you get home’
TO BE CONTINUED!....MAYBE!
I have to go home now and I'm shitting it lol I really am scared! I hope he's not waiting on the doorstep