Now, Tsuzuki breaks down and shares some of his past to Anna while they cuddle. Spoilers ahead.
Chapter Seventeen: Experience in the Moon:
/Where's the moon?
As the temple bell is --
sunk in the sea/
The rain poured on into the night and Tsuzuki and Anna were back in bed again. They were cuddling after they made love again. Anna looked up at her lover.
“Thanks for the date today,” she whispered. Tsuzuki smiled as he played with her hair.
“I’m glad you liked it,” he whispered back. Anna nuzzled her face against his chest and kissed it. Tsuzuki twirled her hair in his fingers.
“I never knew that your hair curled so easily,” he commented in a happy way.
“With a little help it does,” she said with a giggle. The woman kissed him on the chest again. Tsuzuki trembled at the gesture, but then a bitter drop fell between them. Anna happened to look up and notice Tsuzuki’s right wrist. He wasn’t wearing his watch tonight and she saw the monstrous scars on them.
“Asato-kun,” she whispered, “What happened to your wrists?” The shinigami felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t tell her everything right away. Maybe give her bits and pieces at a time, just like she’s doing to him; but how could she take learning the truth? His heart ached as he exhaled underneath her. Tsuzuki’s amethyst eyes filled up with sorrow as he looked away from his beloved.
“I wanted to die,” he murmured to her. Anna looked at him with big eyes.
“Asato-kun…” she said with trembling lips.
“No, listen,” he interrupted, “When I still alive, I didn’t have a good life. In fact, I sort of envy you for having a normal childhood growing up. I always knew that I was different. The other kids hated me because of it. Everywhere I went, I always tormented by them. The only person that cared about me was my older sister, Ruka. After she died…” Tsuzuki fought back the coming tears. It hurt to dig this all up again, yet the crazy force called love refused to let him shut up.
“I ended up in really dark place after my sister’s death,” the shinigami forced himself to keep on, “By the time I was eighteen, I had reached the pit of darkness. I ended in a hospital for eight years. By that point, I wanted to die. I would slash my wrists over and over again. At age twenty-six, I finally committed suicide.” He choked back a heavy sob.
“Even in the afterlife,” Tsuzuki closed up. “I still have these scars to haunt me!” A tear escaped down his cheek. The shinigami began to fear the worst as silence caught his ear.
Oh no!/, he thought, /I think I might have scared her off! She might avoid me now. Oh, I knew this would happen! Anna inched forward to his wrist and gave it a little butterfly kiss. She lied her head down onto his chest; she could feel his heart beating against her cheek.
“Asato-kun,” Anna murmured softly, “Those scars… with time, I will heal them.” Tsuzuki only eyed his beloved.
/Anna-chan…/, he thought. The shinigami touched her hair again. She would do all of that for him? He only breathed out softly as his eyes trailed up to the ceiling. He still had many secrets to get off of his chest to her. Anna might have seemed okay with the first secret; but how would she fare with the rest of them?
Tsuzuki looked down at his girlfriend to see that Anna already drifted off to sleep by now. The shinigami sighed and gently kissed her on the head.
“Good night, Anna-chan,” he whispered. Tsuzuki let the rain outside carry him off to sleep.