While on the run from the Death Eaters, Harry and Hermione are waylaid by an interested third party.
- A jealous Hermione... I like it! I'm also looking forward to seeing who the Queen is... I'd guess either Fluer or her mother - in a recent corination.
Author's responseI can tell you right now that at least one of your guesses is wrong... but stay tuned.
- Interesting outset. Few things are new in the fanfic heavens, but this is a setup i haven't seen before. There's not much to flame or applaud yet, but you have my interest firmly in hand. Let's see where you'll take us.
Author's responseThanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the ride.
- Okay you have my attention, let's see if you keep it.This was a very good start to what looks like could be a great fic, but I'll hold my tongue until I see that it is going to keep going and not get good and stop like so many others are doing nowadays.
(#) juggler196 2010-08-10 11:30:59 PMYou've definitely written a good first chapter. It did what the first chapter/part of a story is supposed to do: it drew me in and made me want to read more. Please update soon.
Author's responseIt was originally going to be a longer section, but this seemed like a good place to leave it off. I'll update as soon as I can.
- Good attention-grabbing start that leaves me looking forward to more. Along the way I can see the Veela assisting Harry and Hermione in seeing what truly lies between them and then in acting on that knowledge (mind you, I could see it being done strictly as advice or as "facilitating" it in a three-, or more-, some. Of course, with this assistance being offered and accepted, the deserter well might not return to them at all; not that he'd really be missed under these circumstances.
- Man do you know how to grab someones attention. Please continue to write your stories, We have been waiting for a while for you to continue with them especally Team of Rivals. It is good to see that one of the better authors is writing again.
Author's responseIt's just a matter of writing the kind of story that you'd like to read yourself.
I've got half a chapter of Team of Rivals in another window now. I just have to write the other half...