I walked out of the room and started skipping, yes skipping, down the hallway. I turned the corner and ran right into my sister.
‘Hey, I’ve got great news.’ I smiled at her. She looked…, not herself.
‘Yes?’ She asked me.
‘I proposed. To Lilly of course. But it’s really happening!’ I was so happy.
‘I’m uhh…happy for you bro!’ She smiled.
‘So, what’s wrong with you? I know something is bothering you.’
‘Bert.’ Was all she said.
‘Oh, I see. He was telling me that you two aren’t going out anymore and that you are staying here with me. Are you really?’ I asked.
‘He pretty much decided for me. I have no choice.’
‘Well, that’s ok. You can be here with your loving brother.’
‘Yes cause I love you so much. That’s truth. But I really don’t think I’m up for watching that lovey-dovey shit.’
‘Well, you can have lovey-dovey shit of your own. Haha, I’ve noticed Sonny watching you. I think he likes you. You should give… wait.. Uh.. Love you sis.’ I smiled. I was about to insist on her going for Sonny, but her and Bert.
‘Ahh…umm…yeah I love you too.’ She looked around almost……nervously.
‘I’m, uh, going to think. Outside. I need to decide on who my best man is going to be, you know.’ I smiled and started to skip happily away.
‘Have a joyous time!’ She yelled after me.
So I’m going to have a sister-in-law. Wow, I’ve never seen Jeph so happy. It’s good. I wonder who his best man is gonna be? Probably Quinn…which oh yes…his nickname is Pancake now. I’m sure you know why, crazy kid. I feel sorry for him if he’s the best man, I think he would object to it. Speaking of…
‘No, no pancakes. That’s your new nickname.’ I said to a very disappointed looking Quinn.
‘Oh, no pancakes then.’ He pouted.
‘That’s all you wanted?’
‘Uh, no. I don’t remember what I wanted…’ He looked away. Something was bugging him, I could tell.
‘Oh don’t even play that Mister.’ I said.
‘Play what? Huh?’
‘The whole nothing’s wrong deal. What’s up?’
‘The sky.. I’m not playing the whole thing. Eh, whatever.’ He said.
‘Ok fine Quinn.’ I sighed.
‘Ok, I’ll tell you. I don’t want Lilly to marry Jeph, I mean I do because I want Jeph to be happy but, I like Lilly a lot. And, I like her pancakes.’ He smiled. ‘I would love to be in Jeph’s place right now.’
‘KNEW IT!’ I shrieked. ‘What are you going to do if he asks you to be his best man? What are you going to do at the wedding?’
‘Well, I could either tell him I can’t be his best man, or I can pretend everything is alright and be his best man. And, I have no idea what I’ll do at the wedding. It’s going to be hard. I mean, I keep trying to not like her, but every time I see her I like her even more than before, so it’s hard.’ He said.
‘I don’t know what to tell you. Mainly because Jeph is my brother, and I love you too.’ I shrugged.
‘It’s alright.’ He smiled and hugged me. ‘I’ll figure something out.’ With that he walked away. I was left in the kitchen all by myself. I looked around a bit. Sink, refrigerator, couch, Guitar Hero, Ooooh what’s this? Diary….LILLY’S Diary. Walk away…WALK AWAY…don’t even think about it. Oh, too late it’s open… Oh, it’s from yesterday.
June 5th 2007,
Why? Why do I have these thoughts? Everything has been so crazy since Jeph asked me to marry him. Well, he mentioned it and I kind of went along with it. I just hope I don’t have any second thoughts or whatever about it. Even though that would be ok, I think, because we barely even know each other. I just can’t help to think about Quinn. Maybe I like him, maybe I don’t, I’m just very unsure….
I couldn’t read anymore. It was wrong of me to even open the diary. I was tempted to find Quinn, but that would hurt Jeph, but then again, she might hurt him. Oh, what am I going to do? Being in the middle sucks. I set the diary down and turned around only to be met with Matt.
‘Hi?’ I said as I waved.
‘Was that Lilly’s diary? Sorry, I couldn’t help but to look over your shoulder and read.’
‘Uhh, yeah…yeah it is.’ I answered.
‘Hm, so she might not marry Jeph. Well that- Oh, I’m going to go. Later.’ He said keeping his evil plans to himself.
I was skipping around the yard singing my new song about pancakes when I started craving some--nothing new I thought. I went inside to go find Lilly. I went to the most obvious place she would be, her room.
I knocked the tune of some random song and walked in without hesitation.
‘Hey Lilly, mind making me some pancakes--what’s wrong?’ I asked.
She sat up and said, ‘Eh, I don’t know really. I guess I have a bad feeling about the whole wedding thing. I have a feeling things aren’t going to work out and it will be my fault… It’s not that I don’t like him, I do… but there’s another guy.’
I gained sudden interest, hoping this other guy might possibly be me, ‘So what’s this guy like?’
I noticed that she smiled when I said that, ‘Well, he’s sexy. He has a piercing, not saying where though. And well, I like him…quite a bit.’
‘How many of those things do I qualify for?’ I asked smiling, and leaning up against the door frame, all sexy-like.
‘Uh, well… all I guess.’
‘I see. Well, I’m just gonna go, you know.’ I waited for her to stop me as I took a slow step every minute and a half. ‘Yes, me, leaving.’
‘I think, I might leave with you, and you know… make those pancakes. OR make something better.’ She smiled as she stood up.
Something better?! Oh my…what could be better than pancakes? Certainly not waffles.
I walked into the kitchen and plopped down at the table. And by four o clock I heard Lilly come out of the kitchen.
‘All done!’ She smiled carrying a pan with what looked like pizza on it. I wasn’t sure.
‘So, you think pizza is better than pancakes?’ I laughed. ‘No chance.’
‘Maybe not frozen pizza. But I made this one.’ She smiled and set the food down on the table. I noticed that as soon as she set the food down, people started coming to the table. Maybe there was hunger in the air?
‘Pizza!’ Jeph and Livvy both smelled the air and said at the same time.
‘Oh god, not your damn brother sister thing again.’ Branden slapped Jeph.
‘Well I’m sorry that we have the same genes. Slap her too!’ Jeph said in defense. Branden ignored him and sat down.
‘Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god---’ Sonny began but Lilly cut him off.
‘Yes, this is my homemade pizza Sonny. And yes, you may have some.’ I swear about half of the pizza went down his throat as the words ‘You may have some’ reached his ears.
‘Where did you learn to cook?’ Jeph asked.
‘My parents… Well, my real parents that is.’ She smiled.
Questions of ‘real parents?’ filled the air, and Lilly explained the situation. That was, ‘My real parents are still alive, and I’ve known them most of my life, ok? I was adopted by Sonny’s parents when I was 13 maybe 14. And, I learned to cook so well because I was going to take over the family restaurant when I was 20, but my parents couldn’t afford to put me through culinary school. I was born in and lived in Paris, France too. If that explains it.’
Mumbles of yes’s could be heard over the slurps and chews of drinks and pizza. I ate my pizza, and thought about what Lilly had just said.
‘I love you.’ Branden said.
‘Who do you love?’ Livvy whipped her head up to look at him.
‘This pizza. It’s…beautiful.’ He said and took another piece.
‘So, oddly enough, we’re all at this table, for once.’ Derek said.
‘I know, it’s so weird.’ Sonny said, ‘I love my sister.’
‘I love you too.’ Lilly smiled at Sonny.
‘Yeah! Well…’ I thought. ‘I love pancakes!’
‘Who would’ve known?’ Livvy laughed.
‘Yeah well, you don’t love anything! So I win.’ I explained.
‘I have no love in my body whatsoever, right Quinn?’ Livvy asked sarcastically.
‘Never ever.’ I laughed feeling very childish.
‘RENDEZVOUS!’ Jeph screamed, and Livvy glared at him.
‘Ohh a-huh, you..’ She started.
‘Rendezvous?’ Sonny asked.
‘I was born in Italy, and Jepha calls it a rendezvous. I have no idea why.’ Livvy answered.
‘Can you speak Italian?’ Lilly laughed.
‘Does it look like I can speak Italian? And, what about you? Huh? Can you speak French? No, didn’t think so.’ Livvy laughed.
‘Oui, je parle François.’ She smiled.
‘What does that mean?!’ I blurted out.
‘It means, ‘Yes, I speak French’’ Lilly explained. My parents taught me English and French.
After that, Bert, Branden, Derek, Travis, and Jeph got up and left the room. Just Sonny, Lilly, Livvy, and I were at the table together. I felt the sudden urge to tell Lilly that I like her. A lot.
‘So Lilly…’ I began.
‘Yes?’ She asked directing her attention towards me.
‘I…I umm…love the pizza! Great job!’ I chickened out. Stupid stupid.
‘…Thanks.’ She said looking at her empty plate. Why can’t I just tell her? Ok, here it goes again.
‘Yeah?’ She asked once again.
‘I, umm, I like you.. A lot.. Ok, there I said it.’ Oh my god, I just told her! I almost started freaking out when Jeph walked into the room.
‘Hey,’ He smiled at her and gave her a kiss. I wish that were me. ‘Do you want to go for a walk?’
‘Um, I need to clean up first. Ok?’ She smiled as he shook his head and went in the living room to wait. ‘Quinn, I don’t know what to say,’ She was whispering, ‘I mean, I like you too. I just don’t know what to do right now, you know?’
‘No no I understand. I’ll just…yeah.’ I mumbled and left the room. You know, you’re really stupid Quinn. I thought you loved her. Pansy. I went outside and sat on the porch to think for a while.
I didn’t know what to do. Go after him, or…not? I decided to talk with him later. I picked everyone’s plates up and rinsed them off in the sink. I knew Jeph was sitting in the living room waiting for me, so I hurried. When I was finished I sat next to him.
‘Ready?’ He asked.
‘As ready as I can be.’ I smiled. And we went out the door. As we walked out, I noticed Quinn sitting on the porch. For some reason I wanted to go sit with him. ‘So, where are we walking to?’
‘Eh, anywhere really. I just wanted to get out of there.’ He smiled.
‘Jeph, I don’t know if I can do this.’ I began.
‘Do what exactly?’
‘You know… get married. I..I just … I don’t think I’m ready.’ I said without saying that I liked Quinn.
‘Why? I thought we both wanted this?’
‘We did, but I just, I don’t know. I want to fall in love before I get married, and I like you. I don’t know you well enough yet to fall in love with you, you know?’
Jeph looked like he had a loss for words, and then found some, ‘Well, would you be ready for this if I were Quinn?’
‘Well… I, uh, I don’t think so.’ I said trying my best to not hurt him. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt like I was hurting him a lot though.
‘You can tell me the truth. I’d rather know and be hurt by it than be told a lie.’
‘The truth is, I like Quinn, but I like you too. Ok, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been very confused for a while…’ I didn’t know what else to say.
‘You can’t have us both. And I think I know who you like more anyways, so it doesn’t really matter I guess.’
‘Who do I like more?’ I asked, not really meaning to.
‘Are you serious? I can’t make up your mind for you. I think you need time by yourself to straighten your thoughts out. I’m going back to the house.’ He gave me a regretting look, turned around, and headed back to the house.
It was dark outside when he left, and I kept walking. A sudden chill went down my spine and I looked around. Why am I freaking out? That’s really dumb. I came up to an intersection and turned right, walked for a little bit, and came up to a park. I wonder what they’re doing at the house? I sat down on a nearby swing and started swinging, only I wasn’t pushing. I put my feet on the ground to stop myself and turned around only to be met by Matt. That gave me a real reason to freak out. I was pretty much defenseless against him.
‘Wha-What are you doing here?’ I asked him.
‘Looking for you.’ He smirked slightly.
‘What do you want with me?’ I was getting scared.
‘To talk, that’s all.’ He got a little closer, and I moved a little farther away.
‘That’s it? I’m sure..’ I said.
‘Are you being sarcastic with me?’ He asked raising his voice a little, and pulled me up off the swing.
‘Yes, I am. Now leave me alone.’ I told him. ‘I need to get back home.’
‘First, WE TALK.’
‘Ugh, what the hell do you want to know Matt?’ I was getting a little annoyed myself.
‘Why you would choose Jeph over me.’
‘Fuck you.’ I said and pushed him away from me. I turned around to walk away when he grabbed my hair.
‘Don’t ever leave me.’ He demanded.
‘You don’t have that fucking authority Matt! I’m done with you. I’m going to fucking scream rape if you don’t let me go.’ I threatened.
‘Haha, like anyone would come. It’s the middle of the night. Nobody cares Lilly, NOBODY CARES!’ He screamed at me.
‘Yes, they do. I know people who do care. And, I know you don’t. So, let me go!’ I was so scared that he was going to do something to me.
He took a very deep breath and asked, ‘What did I do?’
‘Fuck off.’ I said and tried to run away, only to have him tackle me down. There really was no escaping him.
‘Answer my question, and maybe, I’ll consider letting you run home.’ He breathed heavily in my ear.
‘You hurt me. You, you fucking hurt me. You hit me. You even cheated on me. I hate you.’ Was all I could say. I just wanted him off of me.
‘We could start over.’ He suggested.
‘Uh, No.’ I said boldly.
‘You’re such a fucking whore Lilly. I hope you know that. You can’t fucking make up your mind about what you want. You don’t know whether to take Jeph or Quinn, when I’m standing right here.’
‘How the fuck did you know that? I will never love you again Matt. I told you that I fucking HATE you. Everything about you.’
‘You bitch!’ He slapped me and continued, ‘How did I know that? Well I obviously overheard your conversation with Jeph. I was just waiting for the right moment.’
‘Fuck you, ok. Go fuck a tree.’ I said trying to get away from him.
‘You’re such a fucking idiot. You’ll come to your senses once both Quinn and Jeph reject you. And I’ll be the only one to take you back when you come running for me.’ He slapped me across the face again and pulled me up off the ground.
‘I’m fucking leaving..’ I told him and started to walk away.
‘Haha, you’ll be back bitch.’ He laughed as he let me go. I didn’t want anyone to see me when I got to the house. I had a feeling that there was a few marks on my face. So when I opened the door I instantly went to my room and locked myself in. I couldn’t help but cry.
I heard the front door open and close and saw Lilly walking to her room.
‘Hey.’ I called after her, but she didn’t answer me. Instead she ran into her room and locked the door. I looked at Livvy, Jeph, Quinn, and Branden and then back at her room. I wasn’t sure what was going on. ‘Should I go see what’s up? Eh, I will.’ I answered my own question. I could tell something was wrong with her, because she turned on Aiden, and turned it up loud. I mean you could hear the words through the wall. I knocked on her door, and by the second knock stopped. You know, you’re really out of it. She can’t hear that. I opened the door slowly and peered inside, then walked all the way in.
‘Lilly…’ I hesitated. She lifted her head up to look at me.
‘What do you want?’ She asked. I didn’t know if that meant I was wanted here or not.
‘To know what’s wrong. I’m pretty sure it’s something.’ I looked at her.
‘You want to know what’s wrong with me, I’ll tell you. Ok, I can’t make up my mind. I like Quinn, I like Jeph. What the fuck is that? And, look at me.’ She said and turned on the light, ‘Matt fucking… fucking Matt. I fucking hate him.’
‘He did this to you? When?’ I asked moving closer to her.
‘YEAH he did. And, I hate him. He hurts me all the time. I usually try to cover it up, but whenever he’s around me and you’re not around he hurts me. I don’t know why either. He did this while I was in the park, after Jeph came back here.’ She told me pretty much in tears.
‘What the fuck is his problem? I wish he would get a grip and realize he’s an asshole.’ I asked no one in general and went to comfort my sister.
‘Please, I want to be alone for a while. I really, honestly don’t want anyone else to see me either.’ She told me.
‘But, you know when you come out, they’ll see the bruises.’ I said.
‘I know, well… if anyone wants to come in here and see me, they must confirm it with you.’
‘Ok.’ I smiled at her and closed her door. When I walked into the kitchen where everyone was sitting, Jeph, Quinn, Branden, and Livvy started to ask me about how Lilly was. ‘She is ok.’ Was all I could think to say. I sat down at the table with them.
‘She probably doesn’t want to see anyone.’ Jeph said.
‘Actually, she wants to see someone, but then again she doesn’t. She said she can’t make up her mind… Well about you two.’ I did not mean to say that.
‘Wait. What?’ Quinn asked.
‘That, my friend, is something you should talk to Lilly about. I have no clue. But, not now. Don’t talk about anything that will upset her. I don’t think you would if you saw her.’ I said. I noticed how everyone became curious.
‘Man I wish everything could just be normal, and we could squish on the couch and watch a movie and throw popcorn at each other. Oh the life.’ Branden thought out loud.
‘Yeah, that can happen Branden.’ Livvy laughed.
‘I’m going to go talk to her.’ Quinn said and walked towards Lilly’s room.