I was sure I knew why he did it. Why he cut himself up like that.
It was me. Kissing Lilly.
Damn! He told me he liked her! I’d even agreed to hook them up!
It was horrible, the guilt of it made me feel physically sick, and I ran to the restroom to throw up.
I flopped back in my seat in the waiting room, that hospital smell filling my nostrils.
Toro nudged me as a nurse walked by. I cleared my throat and approached her.
“Erm... Nurse? Could you please give me any information on a Michael Way?”
“yes sure” she grinned and then did a double take, her professionalism gone “Whoa! You’re Gerard Way! My little sister is totally in love with you, can I get an autograph for her?”
My jaw dropped and I struggled to remember how to shut it. Was this woman being serious? My little brother is injured, and she thinks she can just go all fan-girl-ish on me? What’s wrong with the world?
“Sorry, any other time, but right now, I’m bit more concerned about my brother” I snarled, my voice laced with venom.
She blushed and checked the computer behind the counter.
“Mr Way is fine, he’s very ill, he will be in overnight, and you can go and visit him” she quickly mumbled, obviously sensing she’d pissed me off.
“C’mon, guys, let’s go see him” I called softly into the waiting room, and the guys scrambled out, almost as eager as me to see him.
Walking to the private room, we got a lot of looks. We wondered how our publicist would deal with this one.
I carried on walking, and stopped when I realised I was alone, and Frank cleared his through. Oops... I’d walked right past his room!
I turned around and practically sprinted down the corridor, and saw my Band mates, staring through the window in the door, an expression of horror upon their faces.
I tore open the door, sending the guys sprawling, but I didn’t care. My brother was my main priority right now.
I wanted to tear my eyes out when I saw my baby brother in his bed.
He had his eyes shut, but I could tell that he was in pain by the way they flickered from beneath his lids. He was hooked up to a drip, and had an oxygen mask on. His torso was covered in bandages. Oh god. This was my idea of hell. When I saw him, I knew I’d be sleeping at the hospital that night.
I walked over to his bed and sat down.
“Gee..?” Mikey’s voice was muffled from under the mask.
I took his pale hand, “I’m right here for you bro, now just rest.”
“Oh...Kay...” and his eyes shut once again, but this time, they did not twitch.
“Thank You!” I yelled at Matt, snatching his keys and racing towards his car.
Mikey had been hurt, according to a text off of Ray, and I had to be there. Why had they not asked me to come with them?
I slammed my foot on the breaks and all but screamed as I hit traffic.
Half an hour later, I sprinted from the car and into the huge building.
“Mikey Way” I snapped at the receptionist.
“Room thirteen, up the corridor, to your left.” She said, in a bored, monotonous voice.
I rounded the corner and strode up the corridor.
But as I passed room eight, I stopped.
There must be a reason the guys didn’t bring me with them... Maybe it was my fault. I started to panic, and was wondering whether or not to go back to the bus.
But then I told myself it wasn’t me, I was being silly, and I took the two more steps to his door.
I knocked and waited to be invited in. Impatience was gnawing away at me.
The door swung open and Ray’s face greeted me. I took two steps back, his face looked terrible, it scared me.
Dark circles and bags sat under his eyes, and beads of sweat were hanging onto his forehead. His clothes and ‘Fro were covered in what looked like splinters and bits of dust.
This was definitely a bad sign.
“Lilly, I knew you’d come as soon as you could. Please, just ignore Gerard, he’s being rude to everybody right now, but he’s just concerned about Mikes.” And with that, he beckoned me in.
“What’s she doing here?” Gerard growled at Ray.
“She has every right to be here Gee, so shut it.” Frankie said plainly.
There was an awkward silence, broken by Johnny.
“Umm... I’ll get some coffee, who wants some?”
“Me” I whispered
“Latte Ta” Gerard said
“I’ll come too” that was Frank, he sounded like he wanted to get out of here, and I could hardly blame him. The tension between me and Gerard was unbelievable.
“I’ll join ‘you on that one bro’” Ray sounded like Frankie; Eager to escape.
Then there were three of us.
“Gee... what happened?”
“He cut self because of what we did. It’s all my fault.” And without warning, tears flooded his cheeks.
I made my way through all the monitors and machines that Mikey was wired up to, and pulled Gerard into my arms.
“Look, I feel bad about kissing you too, ‘cause, I think of you as a friend. A good one at that.”
He looked up and nodded
“Yeah, same here, but it’s worse for me, because I’m married for Christ’s sake! I have a freaking daughter! Now when I see my wife, I’m just gonna feel -!”
He shut up, and both our heads turned to a stirring Mikey.
“Stop... Shout...ing... LILLY!” His eyes went from Doped up looking, to wide and alert.
“Shhh, Mikes, its okay. Please, don’t over-hyper-up yourself, or whatever they say around here.”
He pulled his mask down.
“Lilly, Gee, I know what you’re thinking; this is not your fault. Okay?”
“’Kays...” we both mumbled, though I knew, that in both our heads, what Mikey had just said, didn’t make a blind bit of difference.
I pulled up the chair that Frank had just occupied, and sat right next to the bed. I placed my hand over his, and held it, just so he knew I cared. Gerard looked down, seemingly ashamed; he was obviously reflecting on our little moment.
After another fifteen minutes, the guys shuffled in, handing me an Americano, and Gee a Latte.
“you took a long time getting coffee..” Gerard narrowed his eyes.
They exchanged funny looks, and then we all lapsed into silence.
The quiet was broken by Mikey demanding to know why he didn’t get a coffee.
“Guys, I’m the addict here! Where’s mine eh?!” he looked appalled.
“Dude, we asked the nurse if we could get you one, but she said cold drinks only. She said something about your retarded state making you prone to spilling stuff.” Frank smirked and Mikey went off on one about how he wasn’t a retard.
Once again, the silence descended, and this time, Ray broke it.
“Mikey, I’ll understand if you don’t wanna say, but why exactly did you cut yourself?”
Mikey’s cheeks flushed bright red, finally giving him some other colour than deathly white.
“Umm... well, Alicia Broke up with me, as y’all know... and then I finally moved on and started to umm... like somebody else.”
I couldn’t help but notice that every eye in the room travelled towards me as he said that. All except for Johnny, who seemed intent on killing a moth that had intruded upon our chat.”
“And I err... thought she didn’t like me back. I was also confused about a lot of other shit.” He finished lamely. It was so obvious he was lying earlier, and that just proved it.
“Excuse me” I whispered, my head bowed, I was trying to get out without them noticing I’d started crying.
I ran down the corridor, past the reception is, and into the pitch black parking lot. I opened the car door and slumped down in the seat, slamming the door.
I dropped my head onto the steering wheel, and let the tears fall, my breathing messed up by wracking sobs. I finally calmed down, and tiredness came over me like a wave.
I put the key into the ignition, and set off.
My eyes were shutting at the wheel. I turned on the radio to try and wake me up.
Then I heard what the announcement was.
“-Way was rushed to a hospital in Los Angeles, where we can confirm he is awake, and recovering. However, we still don’t know what caused him to be brought here. Was it an overdose? With the rock stars, it’s always likely. Maybe, an alcohol influenced stunt gone wrong? Who knows? Keep on listening, and we’ll keep you po-“ I slammed the off button on the radio.
“Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!” I screamed. I pulled over into a lay-by and turned off the engine.
I fished around in my pockets for my phone, and rabidly started texting
G, the media have found out about Mikes, I dont know how they found out. 2 tired 2 drive, so i’ll sleep in lay-by 4 now. Love Lilly xo
That would do. I clicked send, and put the seat down, and caught some shut eye.
I woke up and glanced at my phone for the time. It flashed 5:42 in my face, and I noticed I had a message, from Gee.
FUCK. I’ll call Stacy [legal person] she'll know what 2 do. K when you get up though, go 2 the bus, G xo
I thought for a moment then wrote back.
K. Bus is fine, left it with a friend, Matt :] xo
Then, I flipped the screen down, and headed back to the bus, even though I knew it was fine.
I woke up from sleep again, and Gerard was flat out on a chair next to me. He refused to leave last night, and so the nurses said he could stay.
I stared down at the drip in my hand. Eww...Fucking needles. I fought back the urge to rip it out.
I thought about how Lilly had walked out last night. However much she had tried to hide it, we all knew she’d been crying.
Crying because I’d let it slip out. I’d admitted it was her partially her fault accidently, but to be honest, the blame was mainly with Gerard.
It was the drugs they were pumping into me last night.
I had to get out.
“Ge...rard” I wheezed.
He woke, and looked at me.
“Yeah Mikes?” panic flitted onto his face. “Are you in pain?”
“No... When can I get back on the bus?” I said, pulling myself up.
I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just ached a bit.
“I’ll ask for you bro”
He got up and left, presumably to find a nurse.
I fiddled with my sheets for a bit and Gee came back, with a pretty nurse in tow.
“Hello Michael, how are you feeling today?” she asked, speaking to me like a four year old.
“Aching” I admitted
“Okay, Aching is good, it means you’re mending well” she smiled.
“When the fuck am I getting out of here?”
“Well, Michael, does this hurt?”
She poked me on my cuts. It didn’t hurt really, just tingled a bit.
“well, you sure recovered faster than expected. We will agree to discharge you on one condition: Don’t over strain your cuts, of the stitches will come loose. Can you do that?”
I nodded eagerly, keen to get out.
“Okay then, I’ll go get you some forms to fill in, and then you can be on your way. You will have to come back in though, so we can check you over,”
“Umm... no can do, see, I’m in a band, and we’re touring. I can find someone to replace me for a while, so i don’t mess up the stitches, but I can’t come back here.”
“Well, if we pass on your forms to another hospital, you can drop in anywhere, just give them our name.” she smiled. And I was instantly happy, knowing I’d only be here another couple of hours.
The nurse took the drip out of my hand, and taped a cotton bud thingy over it, then asked Gerard to fill in the forms for me.
After another hour and a half of forms, checks and other irrelevant stuff, I was walking out of the hospital doors, leaning on Gee.
Outside, we called for Ray to come and pick us up. I could hear him from over the phone
“He’s out already? I don’t know Gee, are you sure he’s okay?” he sounded like my mom!
“Toro, he’s fine, he wouldn’t have been discharged otherwise. Now, can you come and get us?”
“Yeah sure, I’ll be about twenty minutes, see ya”
“Kay, see you”
And Gee hung up.
During the twenty minutes it took ray to get to the hospital, it had started to rain, slowly at first, but after a few minutes, it was like a full scale downpour. I huddled up to Gerard and we ducked under the canopy. After what seemed like forever, a beautiful car pulled up. I wasn’t good with cars, but I spotted the insignia on the front, and I noticed it was a Ferrari.
“Where the HELL did you get that?!” Gerard asked, jealously dripping from his tone.
“Well, I asked Lilly how she got here last night, and she told me to go and speak to Matt...”
“Shadows... How many Matts do we know? Cause they were on the tour and it seems Zacky likes the look of Lilly too...” he bit his lip, throwing a worried look at Gerard
My eyes darkened.
“Yeah, so keep him away... you know what he’s like. He’s a man whore...”
“Damn right he is.” I mumbled, and Ray seemed to just notice me.
“Mikes! How you feeling man?” his eyes travel up and down my skinny frame, as though searching for abnormalities. He wouldn’t find any though, they‘re all in my head, where nobody can see them.
“I’m fine, you?”