Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Haury Jovich Show-The Royal Rumble:Part One

Part Two-The Madness Continues

by SmashAuthority2 7 reviews

We meet more guests, and there is a shock in store for Gerard...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Published: 2010-09-26 - Updated: 2010-09-26 - 2606 words - Complete

I know I said there were only going to be two parts to this, but half-way through writing this I had an idea so there will be a Part Three. I have managed to include everyone who wanted to be in it, except for Jo and Steph. You guys will be in the next one!!

And I can't forget to say a massive thank you to all that left reviews. You guys rock!!

"Hello, and welcome back to a very special addition of the Haury Show!" said Haury, smiling widely at the camera. He was glad there had been a break-he had really needed it. Gerard and his problems with his love life was very stressful.

"Now if you were watching before you'll know we are joined by a regular on this show. Gerard, say hello to everyone!"

The camera zoomed in on a slightly bruised Gerard who smiled. The trouble was when Gerard Way smiled he looked like a serial killer. Now with the marks on his face he looked even more disturbing-yet still handsome.

"Now that you're back we can get right back to here we were. Right." Haury re-joined his guests. "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier, Gerard," he said apologetically.

During the break the four ladies had to be separated from Gerard due to the fact Rebbecca had taken it upon herself to beat the living hell out of him. She had been joined by Aria who had grabbed a chair and hauled it in his direction. Thankfully her aim was awful-she had hit a cameraman instead, knocking him sideways. Emily had not helped matters by removing her 5 inch stilettos and attempting to stab him in the leg. Amy had stood with her arms folded over her stomach and watched proceedings looking very much as if she would give anything to join in.

It took the entire Haury security team to restore order. Even the crowd had become slightly hysterical, screaming, "Jerry! Jerry!" Until someone pointed out this was NOT the Jerry Springer Show. Haury had not been pleased. He hated that guy.

When order had been restored, Haury had expected Gerard to be furious. He had been surprised when the young man showed no such emotion. In fact, he had been looked amused. Pulling out a cigarette, lighting it and blowing a cloud of smoke in the girls direction.

"No more violence, ladies," said Haury very sternly.

"Sorry, Haury," they chorused meekly, as if they were being reprimanded by a teacher.

"Dude, it's fine," smirked Gerard. "I thought it was entertaining-especially the part when Rebbecca's skirt flew up." Rebbecca glared at him hatefully.

Haury sighed. "Can we continue the show, please?" They nodded.

"Okay." He smiled at the camera. "We've got a lot more guests coming." He was interrupted by a snickering Gerard. "What is so amusing, young man?"

"What you just said, man. That you've got a lot more guests 'coming'." He smirked.

Haury rolled his eyes. "Is sex the only thing on your mind? Grow up, please," he sniffed. "Okay, we've been discussing Gerard's stint in rehab and the repercussions of his reckless behavior. So far, we've met four ladies who he, ahem, had relations with-one of whom is pregnant, allegedly with his baby."

"I can't believe Gerard Ways is procreating," shivered Aria. "It's unholy."

"Hey!" cried Gerard. "Don't hate on my spawn. Well, if it is mine, which I'm totally not sure about yet." He looked at Amy suspiciously who frowned at him.

"Let's not get into that again," said Haury. "Instead, why don't we bring out our next guest? Give a warm welcome to Cheyenne!"

There was warm applause as a girl with warm, chocolatey skin and shiny black curls came down the stairs. Gerard was on his feet before Haury.

"Chey," he smiled. "How are you, sugar?"

Haury quickly walked past him to greet her first in case she wanted to attack him. She didn't, which was strange. She simply brushed past Gerard and took a seat.

"Hello, Cheyenne," said Haury. "Tell us, what brings you to our show?"

"Screw that," said Gerard, annoyed. "First tell me why you're ignoring me."

Cheyenne chose to ignore him again which seemed to make Gerard very upset-something Haury picked up on. "Why are you so upset, Gerard?" he wondered, as so far he had shown little or no interest in the woman on stage.

"I'm not upset," said Gerard lightly. But his narrowed hazel eyes told a different story.

"Fine," said Haury. He turned back to Cheyenne. "Tell us why you're here."

"Well, it all began when I met Gerard at the rehab centre. I'm a counsellor there and he was attending a meeting. We started talking and realized we share a love of playing pranks on people. The next thing I knew, we were.....Well, you know." She paused and looked at Haury a little red-faced.

"Trust me," began Haury, with raised eyebrows. "We all know."

"Good times," muttered Gerard, with a small smile on his face.

Cheyenne frowned. "Maybe for you, but it was a different case for me."

"I didn't hear you complaining when we were in the store room," said Gerard. "You sounded like you were enjoying yourself then."

"That's before I found out about all these other girls," she said, gesturing to the girls seated across the room. "When I did, I dumped him immediately."

"Wait." Haury stopped her. "You dumped him?"

Gerard looked angry all of a sudden. "Yes," she nodded. "By text."

The audience gasped. "You dumped him by text?" repeated Haury, sounding impressed. "No wonder Gerard looks so upset."

"I'm not upset," said Gerard furiously. "I don't give a shit."

"Then why did you call me all those times?" challenged Cheyenne. "You said you wanted to get back together."

"He probably wanted to get back with you so he could dump you," said Amy. "That's how he rolls."

Gerard glared at her. "Bullshit."

"Tell me, Gerard," interjected Haury swiftly. "Do you have feelings for Cheyenne?"

Gerard looked at him like he didn't know what feelings were. "She's a great girl. One of my favorites."

The audience gasped at his callousness. "Gerard!" cried Haury. "Can't you ever be a gentleman?"

"I am a gentleman. I open doors and shit all the time for girls," replied Gerard, looking affronted. Haury just shook his head.

"Go on, Cheyenne," he sighed.

"I had to break it off with him. He was sleeping around," she explained. "But that's not all."

"Oh?" said Haury quizzically. "What else would you like to share with us?"

"I have a secret I have to tell him," she said quietly.

Gerard turned to stare at her. "What secret?"

"Yes, Cheyenne. Do tell," urged Haury.

"I have to tell Gerard that I've been sleeping with his baby brother, Mikey," she confessed in one breath.

"WHAT?!" thundered Gerard, jumping to his feet. "You've been screwing my brother?"

"That's not all!" she squeaked. "I'm pregnant!"

"MOTHERFUCKER!" roared Gerard. "I'll kill him!"

"Whoah, whoah, whao," said Haury. "Why are you so upset? You just told me you didn't have feelings for her?"

"I don't give a shit, man!" huffed Gerard. "Mikey should know better. He knows I never share my toys."

"What the fuck?!" screamed Rebbecca. "Toys?! We're toys to you?!"

"Would you stop interrupting me?!" yelled Gerard. "I'm pissed off here!"

"Gerard!" shouted Haury. "Were are your manners?"

"Fuck manners. Where's Mikey? Is he here? I'm gonna kick his ass all over the place!" Gerard looked around menacingly.

"As a matter of fact he is here," said Haury. "But I'm afraid you can't touch him."

"We'll see about that," muttered Gerard darkly.

Haury prepared himself for what he knew was coming next. "Let's bring out Mikey!"

The audience clapped and cheered as a skinny, pale young man with messy blond hair came down the stairs. He took one look at the furious expression on Gerard's face and screamed, "keep that crazy motherfucker away from me!"

However, before security could intercept Gerard, Gerard broke into a run and jumped on his poor brother who was still half-way down the stairs. They tumbled backwards and he punched Mikey right in the face who howled in agony.

"Bastard! I think you broke my nose!" cried Mikey rolling around on the floor.

"Good!" yelled Gerard triumphantly. "That's what you get for sleeping with Leanne."

"My name is Cheyenne!" fumed Cheyenne.

"Whatever!" screamed Gerard, punching Mikey again in the gut. "And that's for knocking her up!"

"Ow!" cried Mikey. "I'm telling mom!"

Fortunately security rushed onto the stage before further damage could be done. "Gerard," said Haury with disappointment. "How could you hurt you baby brother?"

"He's not a baby!" snapped Gerard. "But the little shits created one!"

"I love her!" yelled Mikey quite dramatically. "We're getting married."

"Over your dead body!" snarled Gerard. "You're not marrying her. You know she's off limits!"

"I hate you!" shouted Mikey. "You say I can't sleep with any of you ex's, but you've slept with so many people nearly everyone is an ex! What the hell am I supposed to do, go around and ask everyone I meet: Have you by any chance slept with a guy called Gerard?!"

"CALM DOWN EVERYONE!" yelled Haury suddenly, interrupting them. "And take a seat before my head explodes!"

After everyone was seated and relatively calm Haury spoke. "How are you, Mikey?"

"Not good," he replied truthfully. "My brother is a prick."

Haury ignored the insult. "Tell us how you met Cheyenne, please."

Mikey turned to Cheyenne who was seated next to him and took her hand. Gerard stiffened in his seat. "She called Gerard's phone one day while Gerard was out-with another woman, I should add, and I picked up. She was really upset because she'd heard what a whore my brother is. I felt sorry for her because she sounded so nice and we got to talking. Before I knew it we had been chatting for two hours. We decided to meet up, and when we did it was love at first sight." Cheyenne beamed at him.

"I'm gonna throw up," threatened Gerard, while there was a collective "Ahhhh," from the audience.

"That's sweet," said Haury. "It's clear you two kids are in love."

"And we're having a baby," added Mikey.

"How do you know it's yours?" questioned Gerard sharply. "She could have been knocking boots with anyone."

Cheyenne sucked in her breath. "How dare you!"

"Yeah, man," added Mikey. "She loves me. I trust her."

"Whatever," muttered Gerard, now bored.

"Just because you don't believe in love," said Aria, "doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Fine," he snapped. "If you love her like you say you do, you can keep her. There's plenty more where that came from."

"You are such a dick," said Mikey angrily.

"Gerard, I expect better from you," chided Haury. "Stop being so rude."

"This is how I am. Either except it, or fuck off," said Gerard.

Haury shook his head. "I'm going to need another break soon."

"Yeah, me too," said Gerard. "These people are pissing me off."

"But before we do that, let's bring out another guest. Everyone give a warm welcome to Cassie!" cried Haury.

There was polite applause as a girl with long black hair, dressed in all black descended the stairs. There were colorful charm bracelets on her wrists and she wore black fingerless gloves. She glared at Gerard as she approached.

"Dude, if she attacks me, I'm walking," threatened Gerard. "She's a wild one."

"Please don't attack him, Cassie. I don't think my heart can take it," pleaded Haury.

"I'm not going to hurt the bastard, don't worry," said Cassie, taking a seat next to Mikey.

"Charming," said Gerard. "Why you hatin' on me, baby?"

"Do I even have to say?" she replied, pointing to all the girls on the stage.

"Tell us about your relationship with Gerard," said Haury wearily.

"I got to know him when I found out we share a love for art. He may be a dirty little prick but he's an amazing artist," she admitted grudgingly. "Anyway, one thing led to another and we were soon sleeping together."

"But?" pressed Haury.

"But then I found out he'd been sleeping with my art teacher-who, but the way is like twice his age," she huffed.

"Hey," shrugged Gerard. "I don't discriminate. She was a fine piece of...."

"Gerard!" said Haury loudly. "Enough!"

"So I broke it off with him," said Cassie.

"Yeah," drawled Gerard. "Right after you tried to burn down my house."

"That was an accident," she said, with a flick of her hair.

"Dude, you threw petrol all over the living room floor and lit a match. How is that an 'accident'?" said Gerard. Cassie shrugged. "How about when you tried to blow up my car? Was that also an accident?"

Haury looked at her. "Is this true, Cassie? Have you been trying to murder Gerard?"

"No," she replied. "If I wanted him dead, he would be."

"She's got Mafia connections," said Gerard. "She's in the mob."

"She's my new hero," said Emily.

"Are you affiliated with the Mafia, Cassie?" asked Haury seriously. "Because we frown upon that here at the Haury Show."

"No," replied Cassie, twirling a lock oh hair around her finger. "That's absurd."

"The chicks trying to kill me," insisted Gerard. "I'm sure of it."

"You've kinda brought it on yourself, Gee," said Mikey. "What with all this sleeping around."

Gerard looked hurt. "All I've been trying to do is spread some love around the world. If that makes me a bad person, then go ahead, blow my ass up."

"It's not love you've been spreading around, honey," said Amy dryly.

"Would you like to say anything else, Cassie? Before we go on a break?" asked Haury.

"Yeah," she turned in her seat to stare at Gerard. "Watch your back."

"Hey! I thought you said you weren't involved with the Mob?" said Haury.

"I'm not 'involved' with the Mob. I sorta AM the Mob," she replied dangerously.

Everyone looked at her nervously. "Um...okay. And you're saying Gerard is on your hit list?" asked Haury.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Depends what sort of mood I'm in."

"Well, young lady," said Haury. "I have to say I'm very disappointed in you. Being involved with the Mafia is a big No-No on this show."

"It is?" She wrinkled her nose. "Dang."

"I want you to see my counsellor before you leave. We'll try to get those murderous impulses under control. Okay?" Haury smiled kindly at her.

"Okay," she smiled back. "If you say so, Haury. You know I'm only agreeing because I respect you so much. If you show me respect then I'll show you respect."

"She even sounds like a Mob boss," whispered Mikey in terror.

"Thanks, man," said Gerard to Haury. "I think you just saved my ass from getting fried."

Haury sighed and leaned back in his chair, exhausted. "You'll be the death of me, young man."

He got up and approached the camera pasting a big smile on his face. "Well, that was part two of this special episode, but stay tuned because there is a lot more to come with some surprise guests still waiting to appear. Will Gerard live to see them?" Haury turned around to look at Gerard who was smoking and staring at the ceiling. Haury noticed the ladies eyeing him with dark looks on their pretty faces.

He sighed. "You'll have to wait and see."

I should add I will continue updating "Blue Moon" after I've finished this series. I haven't forgotten about it! xxxx
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