A shrink? A shrink? A shrink?
I know he does not think he is sending me to the shrink. Just because I momentarily thought a regular thirteen-year-old girl had something to do with the freaky dreams I had at night...does not mean I’m crazy. It just meant I felt tired. I realized her appearance was a coincidence. We all have random, crazy-ass thoughts like that.
“I’m not crazy!” I yelled at Gerard as he attempted to gently take my hand and lead me out the door.
“I didn’t say you were!” he assured me, gripping my hand tighter.
I tried to pull away, but he only pulled harder. So, I leaned back, in hopes I could fall down, and take him with me. Gee’s stronger than he looks, though, especially when he’s peeved.
“You implied it,”
“I’m just worried!” he groaned. “You can’t sleep, you can’t pay attention, you don’t go anywhere-”
“I went to see Morg-”
“All are signs of depression! Except for your paranoia....”
“You know damn well it’s not!”
“I won’t go!”
“Oh, you know you will,” he said calmly.
“Another lie!” I swore. “You’re a dammed liar, Gee!”
“Stand up straight, for-”
“Now you’re using my sexuality against me?” I screamed.
“What the hell....?”
“You can’t say anything, you’re bi!”
“What, are you gonna preach the Bible at me next, you hypocrite?”
His expression flickered between confusion and amusement, and I took the opportunity to try another tug for freedom. No good. Gerard laughed and kept a tight grip on my hand. I stopped pulling as I got an idea.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” I squeaked. “I always loved you, I thought you’d appreciate that! Wait....”
“See, you’re so depressed, you can’t even word your own arguments,”
“Who else’s arguments would I word right now?” I shot back.
“Good point,” he giggled. “But this is getting no where.”
“Let’s go no where together!” I stalled.
“Come on, this is fun,” I laughed.
“I dunno, that’s the point,”
“See, this is why we live together,”
“I thought it was ‘cause we have sex every night,”
“Now?” I suggested.
“No, shrink now, sex later,”
“Fine,” I agreed, heading toward the door.
“Told you so,” he sung.
“You threatened me with sex,” I defended myself.
“Bribed,” he corrected.
Possibility of later sex aside, the damn shrink didn’t even seem to know what he was talking about. He either thought he was a medical school grad, or just filling in, because every answer I gave him seemed to confuse him.
And I didn’t even mention the voices.
Finally, he agreed with Gerard, and gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant. Just the fact that he came to the same conclusion as Gee told me he failed, but I wouldn’t say something like that to my boyfriend. Whom I swear I love, but happen to want to slap in the face sometimes.
“I still think he’s wrong,” I told Gee once we got back, and started unbuttoning his shirt.
“I don’t, it explains why-”
“I haven’t been able to sleep because I have weird dreams, okay?” I explained. “I’m tired because I haven’t been able to sleep, I can’t pay attention because I’m tired, and I don’t go anywhere because there’s no where to go. See? Not. Depression. I will not take mind altering drugs for something that is in a shrink’s head.”
“Yes, you will,” he told me.
“They just wanna make money,”
“See? Conspiracy theorist,”
“Whatever,” I sighed. “Time for anal penetration- I get to be on top this time.”
Morgan and Gee must have either forgiven each other, or forgotten about their apparent fight, because a few days later, Gee headed over to see her. Determined to prove myself not depressed, or in need of drugs, I went with him. He gave me a smirk, which slightly irritated me, as he obviously thought I did take the drugs.
But I’d take care of that later.
I remembered how Lord of the Rings-y her house felt to me, with the low ceiling and pottery. Somehow it seemed even more so that day, though I could tell it hadn’t changed.
She greeted us and led us inside, uncharacteristically nice. She must have subconsciously realized she was wrong. Or had a very dirty scene going through her mind....
Maybe that’s just how I work.
Once she pulled up her writing, she again disappeared behind her mysterious door. It seemed normal, but as she turned around, I saw a look in her eyes that almost scared me. An excited look.
“What was that about?” I asked Gee once she left.
“I was just wondering the same thing,” he muttered, a perplexed expression on his face. “Hey, this is the first chapter, you wanna read it?”
“Sure,” I said. “What did she just edit it?”
“No, she’s a J.K. Rowling,”
Amazing how I understood that. Of course, we have more...off...conversations than that one everyday. Way more off. I’d like to say we could have silent conversations, but we’re not quite that advanced. We have to at least grunt.
Okay, that might have sounded awkward, but you know I didn’t mean that. Or did I? Or maybe I’m scaring you. I tend to do that....
After we’d read about half of the chapter, I heard Morgan come back out. Her story seemed a little too complicated for me to follow, so I couldn’t really tell you if it was good or not. She really liked the foreshadowing element.
“What are you doing in there?” Gee asked bluntly.
“Science fair project,” she said.
I turned to find her smirking...quite menacingly. I jerked back around, then turned back, almost as a reflex.
“What the hell?” I blurted out.
Her gaze flicked toward me and she frowned. “What?”
“You have a smirk on your face like you’re planning to gouge our eyes out with a bubble wand,” I said, afraid she’d slap me for saying that.
Surprisingly, she laughed.
“Wow, Frankie, that was morbid,” Gee said. “Have you been taking your Zoloft?”
“Zoloft?” Morgan repeated. “You’re depressed?”
“Wow, Gee, thanks for exposing my very private misconceptions,”
“Not a misconception,” Gee corrected. “And I take that as a no.”
“I don’t need drugs,”
He would take my comment literally, wouldn’t he? He would also mention my drugs in front of Morgan, wouldn’t he?
I did my best to glare at him, but he kept his eyes trained on the computer screen, reading Morgan’s chapter.
“I don’t think he appreciates you,” Morgan said, as if it weren’t obvious enough.
“That would make two of you, wouldn’t it?” Gee said with a hint of a smile.
“Indeed,” Morgan and I said in unison.
I looked at her as she half glared, half smirked at me. So maybe she didn’t completely hate the world.
“Whatever,” Gee giggled. “I’ve gotta take a piss.”
Morgan now had a full on smirk on her face, obviously trying not to laugh as Gee got up and went to the bathroom. Suddenly, I felt unbelievably uncomfortable alone with her. Not that I thought she would kill me, although her attitude suggested I shouldn’t be surprised if she tried.
“That has to be the most masculine thing I’ve ever heard him say,” she said once he left.
“Well,” I said. “I think it’s the most masculine thing I’ve ever heard him say.”
“Heh,” she half laughed, probably feeling just as awkward as I felt.
While she pulled up a third chair, I mentally searched for something to say to her. Then I wondered if I even needed to say anything, or if she was the type who felt perfectly happy just sitting in silence.
Oh God. Why was she smirking at me like that? She did realize-
I’ll just skip the small creepy talk. Let me finish my dreams, why don’t you?
I tried to react. I really did. But truthfully, I don’t know what I did after that.