Continuation of 'Need'; Sanzo deals with his emotions, blahblahblah. Rated R for abusing curse.words and implying a kink[ual] relationship betwixt men.
Somewhere in the back of Genjo Sanzo's mind, there was a clock ticking; counting the minutes, giving Sha Gojyo time to collect himself and get the hell from his room.
Tossing the butt of his finished cigarette into the night air, the monk decided that he'd waited long enough, turned, and went back inside the Inn.
As he trudged up the staircase, Sanzo pushed unwelcome emotions aside; the growing ache of wanting and the dark shadow of guilt.
Sanzo wasn't going to take the blame, no matter what sort of pain he'd caused Gojyo by his parting remark. So the fuck what; he'd been harsh with the kappa. That was certainly nothing new, and as such, Gojyo had no right to look so fucking injured.
Being Genjo Sanzo's lover didn't earn you any special favors, nor the exclusion from the man's anger.
Pushing open the door to his room, Sanzo stepped inside and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. He wasn't particularly happy with what he saw.
One certain redhead lay sprawled across his bed, lightly snoring and looking entirely too vulnerable.
Entirely too enticing. Fuck.
The monk slid his hand into the sleeve of his robe, fingertips brushing the cool steel of his Smith & Wesson. It could be so simple; fire one round and Gojyo would be startled awake before storming from the room in a pissed-off huff.
Instead, Sanzo found himself slipping from the weight of his robe, folding it and sitting it to the side, all the while keeping his mind in a careful blank.
He stood over the bed, violet eyes, half-hidden in shadow, looking down and at the sleeping redhead. Moonlight faded in and out along the sharp angles of Gojyo's body and brought to attention the twin scars upon his left cheek.
Unaware of holding his breath (indeed, of his intention of /moving/), Sanzo reached down and lightly stroked the back of his forefinger across the lines.
Having such an obvious flaw should take away from one's beauty; on the contrary, it enhanced that of Gojyo's. Someone who wasn't so fortunate would say that it wasn't fair and that only a heart softened by the man could believe such things.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder or some shit like it, isn't that what was said?
Sanzo pulled his hand back, took a moment to light a cigarette, and seated himself upon the edge of the bed. The smoke did nothing to cover the scent of sex still heavy in the room and unconsciously, the monk inhaled, deeply.
Strands of blond, washed pale in the moonlight fell over unseeing eyes as Sanzo sat, in silence, lost to the battle, within.
After a significant passing of time, it became easier to accept the way things happened to be, especially if you wanted your life to be as unbothered as possible. A person may find himself or herself falling into emotional habits; sometimes to such an extent, that to feel otherwise is an embarrassment, a nuisance, really.
Sanzo only had so much patience and Goku used most of that up, in an hour's time. He didn't have the tolerance to deal with unsettling sentiments, nor the time and energy it was taking to sort through them, one by one.
The monk drew in a lungful of smoke and exhaled slowly, grasping for a calming effect in the repeating of the act.
'You didn't wake me up'
Gojyo's unexpected voice should have startled Sanzo, yet, for whatever reason, it didn't. The priest's eyelids drooped, a fraction, when the kappa yawned big and stretched a lanky body that brushed against him as he moved. Sanzo's spine stiffened as ash fell from his dying cigarette.
'Then why aren't you still sleeping?'
'Sore ass . . . needed a smoke,' Gojyo replied, shrugging, 'take your pick'.
Blood-hued silk brushed his arm when the half-demon reached over the bed, hand fishing for his dropped pack of Hi-Lites. Once finding them, he propped up on one elbow and lit a cigarette, sighing with the exhale.
Afterward, Gojyo shot a sideways look at the stiff-postured monk, confusion scratching at the walls of his mind. Although there existed, at least, half a dozen questions that he could ask, he only asked one, 'Why didn't you?'
His inquiry met silence. He shouldn't have expected any different, honestly.
'You missed the perfect chance to take me from your misery, you know,' there was a hint of teasing in the redhead's voice and just enough uncertainty to cause Sanzo to wince, internally.
'There'll be other opportunities, I'm sure'
Once finishing his cigarette, Gojyo shifted his weight, preparing to exit the bed while making only the slightest of sounds to indicate his discomfort.
Sanzo stared straight ahead, 'You're leaving'.
The kappa couldn't decide if that was a question or a statement and during his hesitation to make a reply, the priest slipped from his boots and lay back, resting his head on bent arm.
'Go back to sleep, Gojyo'
Mind in a daze, Gojyo's back met the mattress; however, his eyes remained wide-open, body stiff, as if expecting the punch line, any second.
Several long minutes later, Sanzo released a heavy, drawn out breath, 'You're too tense, goddamnit. Relax'.
Easy for him to say. He's not waiting to be shot at, again.
What was up with Sanzo, any fucking way? There were plenty of instances when Gojyo found himself rubbing his head and pondering what the monk was thinking; yet this? This was almost /scary/.
The redhead bolted into a sitting position, causing Sanzo to groan in frustration, 'What /now/, Gojyo?'
'Where's your gun?'
Sanzo lifted one eyelid, 'Why do you want to know where my gun is?'
'You have this bad habit of shooting at me, you sadistic asshole and I want to make sure that you're not planning on catching me asleep and-'
'I'm not going to shoot you while you're sleeping,' Sanzo interrupted, turning to his side, 'that would be cheating'. Can't you get my reasons, you brainless kappa?
Gojyo snorted, falling back. He mimicked the monk's position, mere inches separating their bodies. Despite Sanzo's assurances, he still felt it difficult to loosen his muscles and. . . He has a nice ass . . . wonder what he'd do if I ran my fingers through his hair?
The kappa yanked his arm back when catching his hand moving toward Sanzo's head. The blond made a soft growling sound, twisted himself around, and faced Gojyo, amethyst glittering dangerously in the moon's soft glow. Fuck, the man was too beautiful for words. It wasn't fair that Gojyo was close enough to touch him and apprehensive about doing so, all the same time. His mind was already confused beyond what was normal; there was no need to baffle his body, as well.
Ignoring his half-hard cock, the half-breed stared back, refusing to give simply because Sanzo pushed. For whatever insane reason that the monk had fathomed, he'd seen to it that Gojyo had remained in his bed. The irascible monk would simply have to deal with the consequences of his actions.
Sanzo immediately recognized the glint in Gojyo's scarlet eyes, felt his body's response to the expression, and silently cursed the other man.
You do this on purpose, don't you?
Then aloud, 'Don't start. I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep. So are you'.
'Handing out bedtimes now, are you?'
'Do you prefer bullets?'
'Fine, I'm going to sleep'
Gojyo quickly shed his shirt before settling himself onto the mattress, eyelids falling over scarlet and lips parting with the slightest moans of contentment.
Sanzo's gaze washed over the redhead's torso, hunger beginning as a small, gnawing ache within his chest.
The monk took several deep breaths, meant to calm himself and chase away the unwanted thoughts. He was more than his need.
'You're breathing too hard. I can't sleep'
Sanzo's eye twitched. So did his trigger finger. One more deep breath and his words were snarled, in the stead of screamed, 'I'm not going to stop breathing'.
'What do we do then?'
Sanzo had his first morning's cigarette just as sunrise peeked over the mountaintops, in the distance. Dawn's vibrant hues shot through the window; catching fire to the edges of Gojyo's hair and the priest found his fingers wanting to be seared.
He shifted his position, giving a small wince when the dull ache in his ass flared bright for one quick instant, and coiled one of the kappa's locks around his finger.
The smoke from Sanzo's exhale tangled itself into Gojyo's hair and the priest needed to remind himself that his skin wasn't going to burn, in reality.
When did you steal my indifference? After taking my breath? Before robbing my good sense?
Sanzo gave a weary sigh, expecting that Hakkai would come knocking at his door, any moment. He gave a sudden, sharp tug to Gojyo's hair and the half-demon mumbled a drowsy curse before rolling to his side.
'Wake up, you idiot. You need to get out of here, before Hakkai catches you in my room'. Before you take anything else, which belongs to me.