Chapter 7. The Decision, The Heartbreak.
I was in Juliet’s apartment; we were doing our make up and our hair with our dresses on. I spent a whole day with Gerard and his friends and lately, couldn’t stop thinking of Mikey.
“TOOOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS TOO MUCH!” Juliet was singing loudly to her ipod speakers and I smiled “I forgive you only because it’s All Time Low”
Ryan walked into the bathroom, helping us out with make up
“you’re so lovely Ryan” I smiled
“thank you” he grinned “I like to help… especially since I wasn’t invited”
Moments later, there was a knock at the door and Ryan got up to answer it
“I’m guessing they’re here” Juliet said putting all the make up away
“do I look okay?” I asked and she nodded “you always do”
Mikey and Gerard were in the doorway all dressed up in suits
“awww” Juliet smiled and hugged Gerard “you look so cute”
“ugh, can we go now” Mikey said before leaving the doorway
“you girls look beautiful, come on” Gerard said and we said goodbye to Ryan and went to the venue
The whole time, Mikey seemed angry about something.
We sat on a table with the guys and Mikey’s parents, Juliet was in deep conversation with Gerard as I just sat there, partially bored, partially wondering what was going through Mikey’s head
“you look really pretty” Ray said beside me and I smiled “thank you”
We ate and talked before watching Mikey and the rest of his year dance
After all of the students danced, it was free for anyone else. I felt odd being here since I dropped out of high school and being the same age as Mikey. I never got to experience this.
“wanna come dance with me?” Ray asked
“errr… you think I can dance?” I laughed
“and you think I can?” he laughed back
“fine, we can look like big messes” I said getting up with him and we went to the dance floor and blended in with everyone else. It was heaps of stupid fun until the music went down and it went slow
“I can sort of dance to this” Ray said putting his arms around me and I smiled
Slow dancing was really pretty, I noticed Mikey smiling with his dance partner in the distance, they must have been together if he was so angry before and happy now. I felt kind of sad
“hey Cass…” Ray said and my brain clicked and I looked up at him as he bent his head down and we started to kiss each other. It made me so happy.
I laughed and put my head on his chest as we gently danced. When the song ended he took my hand and walked us both outside and I was a little confused “why are we going outside?”
“privacy?” he said
“oh, fair enough” I said
“so um” he said looking at his feet “that was nice”
I nodded “it was”
I took a step closer beside him and put my arms around him and he did the same to me
“cold?” he asked and I nodded
“wanna come home with me?” he asked “it could be more fun than this”
I had a small think “I guess it should be okay, Juliet has Gerard anyway”
“hey” someone said and we both looked to see Mikey and I stopped hugging Ray
“can I speak to you?” Mikey said looking at Ray and he shrugged and went inside.
I stood outside in the cold while some guys walked past me and went inside, one however stopped to talk to me before going inside.
Ray finally came back without Mikey and took my hand “lets go”
“is everything okay?” I asked as he hurried me to his car
“what the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked angrily
“…what?” Ray said
“isn’t it obvious that I liked Cassadee? Then I come out to find her and you’re making out with her”
“hey, I had no idea. Plus you were with your dance partner the whole time, ignoring her” he said
“IT’S A BALL. I had to be with her!” I said
“Mikey, it’s too late now, calm down” he said
“no, tell her you have to go” I said angrily
“calm down, I cant just do that after all this” he said “I’m going”
“RAY, BACK OFF.” I yelled
“are you drunk?” he asked
“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” I screamed as Gerard came and pulled me back “hey! What the fucks wrong with you?”
“he’s drunk, I’m going” Ray said walking off and I whimpered as Gerard gave me a lecture.
I saw Ray take off with Cassadee and went back into the room annoyed
It was getting late and Gerard was all over me “wanna go to a hotel?”
“why?” I smiled
“I wanna show you something growing in my pants” he smiled and picked me up and walked us to his car
“don’t rape me” I frowned as he walked with me in his arms
He sat me in the passenger seat and sped to a hotel
“this seems wrong for so many reasons” I said “I dress up all pretty and you wanna have sex”
“it’s nature” he said parking the car and helping me walk quickly inside as he got us a room
“so wrong” I kept saying but I followed on anyway.
We were in the lift, going to our room and he held me close while we were going up. We found our room and he attempted to pull my dress off while we were halfway through the door
“hey, HEY HEY” I said smacking his arm and shutting the door
“what?” he asked
“slowly” I said
“okay, I gotta pee” he said ditching me for the bathroom
I rolled my eyes and sat on the side of the bed until he came back, his jacket was off and he pulled the sheets I was sitting on so I’d fall on them, on the floor
“what the?” I said but we started making out on the floor and I had forgotten the world.
“Juliet” he said and I looked at him “I think I love you” he said and all these emotions came flying into my head… and my heart
“is he mad at me?” I asked in the car but Ray didn’t seem to want to answer, but did
“I think he’s more mad at me” he said in a surprisingly calm tone
“oh…” I said looking at my fingers
maybe I shouldn’t have taken this offer.
“are you okay?” Ray asked and I looked at him and smiled a little “yeah, I’ll get over it”
We got to Ray’s house and his mother was there “oh hello” she smiled sweetly at me
“hello” I laughed nervously as Ray introduced us
“we’re just gonna go to my room mom” he said
“alright, you kids have fun” she said
I wasn’t sure what that meant but I tried to ignore it.
His room was quite plain, the highlight was his guitar though, I immediately picked it up
“I play guitar too” I said
“marry me?” he said from behind me and I slowly turned around “what?”
“I think girls who can play guitar are hot” he smiled
“awww, I feel special” I smiled and put it back down
“do you want some clothes? I bet you’re not comfortable in that” he said
“hmm… do you have any that wont make me look like a boy?” I asked getting up and looking in his wardrobe with him
He grabbed me a shirt and shorts and I laughed “I’m gonna look so bad”
“you wont” he said
“where’s your bathroom?” I asked
“ah” he said taking my hand and leading me down the hall and opened the door for me
“thanks” I smiled and went inside and closed the door
It was a relief to get the dress off and I started putting his clothes on, slightly baggy but so comfortable.
I folded my dress and walked out and he was there, waiting and I laughed
“aww wow” he said “you look good”
“no I don’t“ I blushed and he picked me up and I squealed as he ran me into his room and I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe
He put me down and I put my dress on his desk “that was so rude”
“I’m sorry” he smiled and kissed my cheek
We sat together on his bed and talked. About nothing in particular, the first thing that came to our minds. Eventually, I was sitting on his lap with my head on his chest and then we were lying down, making out when we had nothing to say.
“I’m getting sleepy” I smiled a little
“awww… me too” he said “I’ll go turn the light off”
I nodded and got in the sheets and rested, when he came back to the bed I was hoping he’d hold me but he didn’t. I rolled around facing the wall and felt his arm around my waist and smiled and put his hand over his.
I woke up still holding Cassadee and didn’t want to move. I gently rubbed the side of her body and she yawned and stretched for a little bit and turned around looking at me with her hair going wild
“oh” she said “morning… I think”
I nodded and she rested her head again but this time, facing me
“did you have a good sleep?” I asked and she nodded “I had a dream that I was a bunny rabbit”
I laughed “even your dreams are cute?”
She smiled and we made out again and her arms went around my neck
“I’ve never kissed a girl so many times before“ I said quietly and she laughed “I’m special?”
I nodded and kissed her cheek “wanna go for a walk?”
“I don’t have any clothes” she reminded me ”quick trip to my place first?”
“sure” I said and there was a quiet knock on my door
“Raaaaaaay” Lorie said and Cassadee smiled “who’s that?”
“my sister” I said “you can come in Lorie” I said a little louder and she opened the door and came in
“are you gonna fix my bike?” she asked and I looked at Cassadee who was looking at Lorie with the most adorable face “awww… can I keep her?!”
“I gotta get Cassadee home and dressed first Lorie” I said
“I can wait” Lorie replied
“how much do you trust me with your car? I can drive myself” Cassadee said
“oh okay” I said “fixing her bike shouldn’t take long”
“I don’t live far” she smiled
We both got up and she went to the bathroom and I made my bed. I gave her my keys and she kissed my cheek and hugged me “I’ll be back in a flash”
I nodded and went outside with Lorie who was playing with her ringlets
“who was that?” she asked “is she stealing your car?”
“no sweetie, that’s Cassadee” I said
“girlfriend?” she asked getting on her knees to watch me fix the bike
“not really” I said “she’s friends with Juliet”
“oh yay” she smiled
When I was finished, Cassadee was back and parked infront of the house
“where are you going?” Lorie asked setting the bike back up
“we’re gonna go for a walk” I said
“okay” she said and Cassadee got out of the car
She dressed pretty casually and was full of happiness when she saw me again. We went for a walk and we talked more and I picked a rose for her from someones garden and she giggled “oh how pretty”
“they have like a million of them anyway” I smiled
We were on a bridge over the river and there were 5 ducks fighting over bread, Cassadee found it really amusing
“I wish I had bread to feed them all, they look so hungry with how they’re biting each other” she said
“they’ll find it from some other old person” I laughed as I smoothly put my arm around her
She looked at me and smiled before looking back into the river
“so… at the moment we’re really coming along as a band” I said “and we’re thinking about going on tour soon…”
I woke up with no clothes on whatsoever and groaned. Gerard’s face appeared infront of me and he kissed my neck “are you alright?”
“good god I don’t even remember anything last night” I said holding my head
“so we may have done it around the hotel room a few times“ Gerard said and I groaned louder and started to remember bits of it
“I have to leave” I said getting up and finding my clothes
“what, why?” he asked
“I need to make my decision” I said “I can’t take it”
“okay okay, I’ll drive you home” he said
“thank you” I said going into the bathroom
Gerard drove me back to the apartment and grabbed my hand before I could go inside
“do you remember what I said last night?” he asked
“…huh?” I said and he looked upset “nevermind”
Why did I have to be slightly tipsy last night?
I kissed his cheek and went up the lift to our room, Alejandro greeted me and I gave him a pat and went to my room and thought for hours.
I then wrote reasons why and why not I should be with the two boys.
Ryan came home and came into my room “hey Jules”
“hi” I replied
“woah, whats with the tree wasting?” he asked picking one up “Gerard is good in bed” he read outloud and gave me an odd look “what the… OH YOU’RE NOT PICKING NOW ARE YOU”
“I have to” I frowned and he hugged me
“be wise” he smiled a little
After three hours I remembered what Gerard had asked me when he dropped me off
“what did he say to me?” I said outloud and shut my eyes and tried to piece everything together and then pow. “I think I love you.”
I sat up and covered my mouth “oh shit” I said quietly
An hour later, I emailed them both letting them know I’d make my decision at 2pm tomorrow by visiting their house. I then tried to eat and kept changing my mind until I fell asleep.
1.30pm. I feel sick. I’m about to throw up.
I sat on the staircase in perfect view of the front door, trying not to hold my breath or pass out.
I felt like Juliet was part of my life at the moment, and I don’t know how I’d feel if that was taken away from me.
1.45pm. the guys were over playing the xbox and I was watching whilst fiddling with my fingers frantically
“confident?” Mikey asked
“kinda” I said scratching the back of my neck nervously
Telling her I loved her would either be a bonus or a good reason to not stay with me.
“either way you’ll be fine. hopefully. With our tour and all” Frank said and I nodded
It was 1.55pm, I was in my car driving to his house.
Today I was breaking someones heart but gaining someone elses.
This was possibly the hardest thing I was ever going to do, but I didn’t want to lead him on forever and feel like it was okay.
I pulled up in his driveway and knocked on the front door, butterflies flying through my stomach. I looked at my shoes before the door opened and I smiled at Gerard and handed him a rose
“oh my fuck” he said holding his heart and hugging me tight and we started making out until I heard clapping from behind him to see the boys all lined up applauding
“okay that’s just embarrassing” I said and Gerard put his hands on the sides of my head and kissed me more and I laughed
“I need to tell you something” he said “we’re going on tour away from home for awhile, we’re gonna try and get big. You have to come with me”
I nodded “of course” I smiled
“okay good” he smiled back
“I have to go see Brendon now” I said
“okay, but come back here after?” he said and I nodded
I got in my car and drove to Brendon’s house and he was walking to his car, I jumped out pretty quickly
“Brendon, wait where are you going?” I asked but he didn’t look like he wanted to see me
I grabbed his arm and he stopped and turned to look at me
“where are you going?” I repeated and he shrugged “I dunno, somewhere”
I didn’t know what to say after that
“I’m sorry…. But I didn’t want to drag it on and hurt you more” I said and he nodded “okay. I’m leaving now, can you please move your car?”
I nodded sadly and lightly hugged him for a while and he sighed and eventually patted my back.
I hopped back into my car and drove home, once I got there I texted Gerard saying I went home and he called me while I was in the lift, before I even got a word in
“hey, as if you’d go home after I got the best news in the world?” he said
“I feel fucking awful” I said “I wanna be alone”
“no, you don’t mean that” he said
“yes, I do.” I said “I’m sorry”
I hung up and opened our door and went into my room and cried on my bed.
Moments later, Gerard walked into my room and sat on my bed and tried to look at my face but I was being difficult
“hey babe, don’t be down” he said lying down with me “it was bound to happen, we both understood that but of course he’s mad, you’re just amazing”
I shook my head and he turned me around so I was facing him and he put his arms around me.
He was wearing uncomfortable clothes but was lying beside me anyway.
“as your official boyfriend, it’s my duty to make you happy” he said kissing my forehead, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Brendon.
“Ray… I cant go with you” I said holding my arms
“why not?” he frowned
“I have my whole life here, I’m not ready to just go off with you like this…” I said with my voice trembling
“…so what do we do?” he asked
“we just… can’t do this… anymore” I said with tears filling my eyes
He looked pretty down too and hugged me really tight “I’ll have to come home eventually”
“but the fact that I won’t be in the same town, state or maybe even country as you… it’s not good enough for me. I need to be with you, to be with you” I said and he nodded
Right about here I started wailing and crying like crazy and he was trying to make me stop
“I’ll miss you. Even though it hasn’t been long” he said
“I’ll miss you too” I said quietly
“come on” he said taking my hand and we went inside his house and into his room and slept together.
I was saying my goodbyes to Cassadee and Ryan, but of course Brendon didn’t show. It was pretty hard especially to Ryan who’s been with me for years.
“promise me, you’ll write and text and email and Facebook and tweet me” he said in tears and I laughed “promise”
Cassadee had been crying for a few minutes now, but it was enough to make me start
“thank you for being my Starbucks buddy” she said “you were awesome”
“nawww” I laughed and kissed her cheek “alright I better go, but I’ll get in contact when I’m back”
She nodded and hugged me tight.
I got in the van and waved, prepared to meet the record label and start my adventure.
Holy Whale. So sorry this has taken me weeks! hahaha I've nearly finished high school :) 4 exams to go, then I won't be neglecting so much of this fanfiction :)
Hopefully you like this. Juliet chose Gerard and I REALLY wanted Cassadee and Ray to stay together, but I needed the drama :(
Let's now skip to... over a year later?
Love, SareBear XoXo