"Shh... You won't remember any of this, not me, not anything. And you'll not be able to move." I added the last note as if it were something trivial, trying to keep my gaze form his.
"What?!" Clay exclaimed. "Let go!" He was already becoming weak, his eyes were reddening up as well.
"There's a bonus though. You'll be able to feel me." I ravished his neck with kisses and lay him down. A few minutes until he was completely immobile.
"What's happening?!" He was trying to sit up again.
"I'm going to give you one last experience before you go. It's a favour really." I smiled, but not really at the quaking boy before me. It was a sad smile. One last nice thing, then he'd be gone.
I undid his jeans and pulled them off.
"You won't remember anything of me." I pulled down his undies. He yelled in startled protest but I took no notice. This was to be the last time with him, reasonably sober too. I smiled a grim little grin and without further warning took him into my mouth.
I always be nice to guys before I let 'em go. For once, I be nice to them, and let them feel good in thier last day of blackouts and pain....
He sat rigid in my front car seat, staring blankly. He'd given up, well and truly. Just accepting cruel fate.
I'd drive around near his house until he fainted, then sit him by a tree, holding a bottle. The perfect way to hide evidence.
"Shane..." He croaked.
"What is this all about? The ... The pills and......" I stroked his cheek.
"...It's just business to me. I liked you Clay, you liked me. Therefore, you have to leave." I have never been more sad to see somebody off. I tried not to let it on but was failing. I had fallen in love with him, if love can be so contradictory and onesided that is.
"Business? What business?!"
"You were my favourite." I gave in too, into pity for him. I only pitied Clay. Out of all my targets. Just him. That was love to me. When we were out together, just doing normal things, he was the closest thing I had to a proper friend in months. I could feel normal at times too.
Now I was just waiting until he blacked out. He'd never know me but I'll always know him.
This won't change my ways, it was simply because I'd become attached to him. Nobody comapared. More than a whore to me....
"I really loved you Clay. I hope that if you remember anything, it's that." I kissed him on the forehead and held him close. I heard soft sobs and wanted to add to them myself.
I wished we could meet again. I could imagine him walking down the street, he could walk right past me too, and never notice. To start again... No, I shouldn't ever love someone properly, not someone llke Clay, someone who I treat so oddly.
But I can't. I'm a pervert and love isn't something I can do. It could get me in prison. I've chosen my fate and hey, I enjoy all of the stalking and shit. Love shouldn't be natural to me, it really shouldn't. Yet that is the most human thing about me at all anymore. Supressed lvoe is so much more hungry.
I held him to me, praying he'd forget everything. All the times I'd decieved him, abused him. We were good friends too. Now this was the last time I'd allow myself to see him. Clay isn't just any of my.... my 'people', we started as real friends, I didn't mean for it to end up like all the other boys and girls. But, it was too tempting, I enjoyed the dominance over him even more than I do with the others.
Clay's head sunk and I knew this was it. I watched his motionless body for mintues,cherishing the last moments I could have him all to myself. He was out cold on a double overdose by my standards. I carried him to a tree, made him clutch an empty bottle of brandy to frame him, so he'd look like he'd got drunk. Nobody would ever find out. Everyone would assume he was at fault...