Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters associated.
Once a heart is consumed in darkness, it breaches a point of confusion. Should it fade into nothingness, or should it leave something behind? Feelings are not omitted, and love carries on into the next division, but can it last in someone who is not meant to exist? Can it begin to return if another heart triggers it?
Take not and want not. I could have desired nothing more than living out my life at Xemnas's side, and he declared to feel the same. How could I have been such a fool? It was a ruse; he did not love me; he hated me. I was a tool, and now I am nothing. My child did not have an opportunity to even exist, and my heart no longer resides within my breast.
The man I passionately loved betrayed me...but is a heart so different? It sends feelings of disgust; hatred, but you really don't see the love behind it. In addition, it deceives us by taking a shine to the wrong person. If the right man still exists, I want him to know that I am looking for him, and that I am so, so sorry.
As for my regards to Demyx- my dearest friend, I fear I could not have survived without you. The "days" were brighter with you there, and I didn't mean to let you down. I hope, that if we find each other again, that we may start over and forget everything that ever came between us. I could never ask for a better friend than you, and it is my deep regret that I told you otherwise.
Luxord, if I discover you tracking me down, I do not lie in saying that I will cut it off. No, I am not bluffing; your manhood shall be no more. So keep your British, sex-loving ass away from me. Oh...and give Axel hell in your spare time if I'm not there to do it. Thanks, buddy.
Xaldin, I appreciate all you have done for me- you supported me when I needed it most, and behaved like the older brother I never had, but always wanted. Thank you so much for always being there when I needed you. Now lay off the Sake and quit stabbing people! Ahem...
Xigbar, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Even though some of your pranks are pretty funny- that is to say, when I was not the target- you are a fucking bastard and I hope your wrinkly, pedophile ass rots in Hell. This isn't over, buddy boy.
Roxas, I did not know you well, but your friends considered me to be one of them. I hope Olette is doing all right, and that she finally found someone to love her for everything she is and can be. Did Axel find you? If so, you guys are probably throwing some crazy party at the clock tower with sea-salt ice cream. Never forget who you are, and always hang onto your friends- you have some good ones.
Saïx, you're an asshole. Even though I hate you for torturing me, I will give you some credit- you are a freaking HOTT asshole. How's that? Now keep your scary eyes off my back.
Xemnas, there is not much I want to discuss. You betrayed me, and all I can say is that, if you finally find the heart you're looking for, I hope it gives you killer guilt to know what you did. I will not seek revenge, not even to make justice for our child. I loved you, trusted you, and now I wish I had listened to Axel when I had the chance. Do not expect things to be okay between us, for I might have still loved you when my last breath escaped me, but death is cruel. It makes us realize who has let us down, who to hate, and who not to trust.
Axel...there are so many things I wish to say, but I fear a few short words will not cover it. You were there for me when I needed it most, ready to put a smile on my face and give me a hug when it wouldn't work. You left, but came back for me...and you loved me; truly loved me, and that's what counts.
I should have seen the truth from the beginning, and now my mistakes are costing me. I understand now, what you said in Twilight Town- you're my heart too. I am so sorry that for one moment, I made you believe you weren't good enough. The truth is so evident now; you are more than satisfactory. I was able to be your heart because mine chose you and split itself between us. You have half my heart, Axel; do not lose it.
Wherever you are, please be well. Don't be setting things on fire without me. I'll be watching...waiting for a sign, just any sign that you're alive. I love you. I miss you.