1. Unawareness of something, often of something important
Brendon stared at the plain roof of Spencer’s basement that lay above the couch. His mind was completely filled, nothing more than a jumbled mess of confusing feelings and thoughts.
“Brendon, what are you doing?” Spencer asked as he sat himself down by the other boys feet.
“Nothing,” Brendon sighed. Spencer looked at him questioningly. Brendon was never doing nothing, he was always a constant blur. Something had to be wrong, very wrong.
“Something wrong Bren?” Spencer asked, voicing his worries.
Brendon shook his head, not just answering but also trying to shake the confusing thoughts away. Spencer watched as Brendon stood up silently, heading towards the stairs. The band had been previously practising in Spencer’s basement yet again, but they had taken a little brake. Jon was in the corner muttering to himself about a new idea he had, needless to say he was going to be busy for awhile. No one really new where Ryan went at the time, he always seemed to be disappearing.
Brendon went up the stairs and down the hallway towards the kitchen, focussing on nothing as he tried to solve the jigsaw puzzle in his mind. He turned into the kitchen doorway and went rigid. The one person that had been consuming his mind was sitting at the counter on the bar stools. He had been reading a book but glanced up to see Brendon, frozen mid-step.
“Hey,” Ryan said before looking back down to his book. In truth Ryan hadn’t flipped the page for over ten minutes. He had been reading the same sentence, trying to find his focus. He’d had to leave the band practise, unable to keep focused on just the music. Ryan’s mind had become a labyrinth of feelings and unorganized thoughts. When he had escaped to the kitchen he’d tried to read, so as to get his mind off things. It hadn’t worked in the slightest. His mind wouldn’t stop thinking about the one person he knew he could never have. The one who was still standing in the doorway.
“Brendon, Brendon come on. Time to wake up now.”
Brendon felt someone slightly shaking his shoulder. Opening his eyes slightly he saw the face of the one and only, Ryan Ross. Shutting his eyes Brendon groaned and rolled onto his side, his back now facing his friend. Ryan sighed and pulled on his shoulder, flipping the boy him onto his back again.
“Nooo,” Brendon mumbled, “sleep time.”
Ryan couldn’t help but to smile slightly at the younger’s protests, he was so adorable.
“You can sleep when you get home, in your own bed,” Ryan told him.
Brendon huffed and threw his arms up in the air. “Help," he muttered.
With a sigh Ryan dragged the half asleep boy off of the couch, putting one arm around his waist and putting Brendon’s around his shoulder. Brendon leaned heavily on the smaller boys frame, barely able to keep his eyes open.
“So tired…” He mumbled before yawning.
“Come on big boy, time to get you home,” Ryan said as he lead Brendon out of Spencer’s house and to the car.
It was half past three in the morning. For some reason Spencer thought it would be a great idea to get together and have a little ‘fun’. Said ‘fun’ turned out to include a lot of alcohol. Ryan had decided not to join in, telling the others that if something happened there had to be a person who could drive to the hospital, or call the fire department if need be. They others had tried to get him to join in but after a few rounds themselves they seemed to forget about it.
Ryan eased Brendon into the passenger seat and reached over to buckle him up. He tried to calm his butterflies in his stomach but it was no use, whenever he got close to Brendon he felt them. All he could do was try to ignore it, and fail. After closing Brendon’s door he walked around and fell into the drivers seat and did his own seat belt before starting the car. When he glanced over he found Brendon already asleep.
It didn’t take long to reach Brendon’s house since he lived in the same neighbourhood as Spencer. Ryan went over and opened the door, looking down at Brendon. His face was almost child like, calm and relaxed in his state of unconsciousness. Ryan didn’t want to wake him so he knelt down and undid the seat belt before lifting Brendon into his arms. After kicking the car door closed he walked up to the small apartment building and stepped in. Brendon had of course left the door unlocked, being the trusting neighbour that he was.
Ryan made his way to Brendon’s room, laying him on the bed. Ryan hesitated for a moment, wondering if there was anything else he should do. He knew that waking up in jeans was not in the least bit comfortable, but it would be awkward if Brendon woke up while he was stripping him down to his boxers. Then again it was something he had definitely wasn’t something that he hadn’t seen before, it was the same as swim shorts anyways. Sighing Ryan decided to just do it, knowing Brendon would thank him later. He pulled Brendon’s pants down and threw them into the laundry bin before also taking his hoodie off for him, leaving Brendon in his boxers and shirt.
Ryan got him under the covers and was just tucking him in when Brendon shifted in his sleep. He mumbled something under his breath that Ryan couldn’t make out, he decided to ignore it and continued tucking him in. He stood up and walked towards the door, making it to the foot of the bed before he heard Brendon mumble again. This time he could make it out.
Ryan froze, wondering if he had heard right. He turned to face Brendon and saw that he had opened his eyes a little.
“Ryan,” he said again, “don’t leave.” They came out barely as whispers but Ryan’s heart seemed to skip a beat when he heard them. He slowly walked back to the side of the bed and looked down at Brendon. Brendon reached towards him but his arm came short barely an inch from Ryan’s body.
“Stay,” he muttered. Ryan looked at him for a moment, wondering if Brendon Urie had really just asked him to come into his bed. Slowly he took off his shoes before climbing in besides Brendon. As soon as he was settled in he felt arms wrap around his waist, he looked down to see Brendon up next to him as if he was a giant teddy bear.
Brendon nuzzled his head into Ryan’s chest and took a deep breath. To Brendon there was no greater smell than this. It was a mix of coffee, Ryan’s cologne, and just a little bit of vanilla. But beneath that there was something else, a scent that could only be described as simply Ryan.
Ryan lay there with a small smile on his face as Brendon cuddled next to him. He was just fading into sleep when he heard Brendon sigh.