Chapter 10. oh no.
I was on my phone checking my Facebook and I walked past the stage and saw Lauren, Ella and the other dancers practicing. I stopped and watched and Lauren was freaking hot.
She looked like she was leading them and directing them how to move. After a while, they all got up and walked backstage and Lauren smiled at me “like what you see?” and smacked my ass as she walked past and I followed her down the hall, oh this girl had me on a hook
“are you girls ready for tonight?” I asked
“we should be” she said “cant wait to see you play”
I smiled and she just laughed “I’ll see you after the show?”
I nodded “sure”
I then went off to our dressing room
Cassadee came upto me in the corner and hugged me
“oh hey Cass” I smiled
“you know I really like Ray right” she said and I nodded “its kinda obvious”
She nodded and hugged me even tighter
“we can be friends right?” she asked quietly
“…yeah. sure” I said
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and continued hugging “I’ve missed you Mikey”
I laughed a little “I can see that. Want a piggy back ride?”
She let go immediately “YES!”
I got down and she jumped onto my back
I was on the stage helping set up the microphones as the crowds were coming in and people were running epically to the front, I grabbed a microphone and held it to my lips “hey watch where you’re running, save the energy for the mosh pit” I smiled and continued setting up and went backstage and walked past Ryan and patted his shoulder and he smiled at me. Spencer was drumming on boxes and stopped when he saw me
“whatever you’re thinking, no” I said and gave him a hug
“I could go for some sex right now” he said and I smiled “you’d go for that anytime”
“pre-show luck?” he asked
“no way, I’d rather do Brendon right now” I said and of course, he was behind me
“awesome, let’s go do Brendon” he smiled and held my hand and I smacked my forehead “I wasn’t serious”
“come on” Brendon said taking me to the bathrooms
“no no I don’t wanna!” I frowned
“well where do you wanna do it then?” he asked
“you’re disgusting” I said
“hey, the words came out of your mouth” he smiled “I know a place”
We went out the back and onto their bus, I was hoping we weren’t going into the area where I slept with Spencer.
“okay I locked the door” he said pulling me to the couch and unzipping his pants and turning off the light.
When I told Spencer I’d do Brendon, I wasn’t really kidding. He helped me undress and we made out for the first time in about 1 year and 8 months.
“we gotta be quick” he added “I don’t have a condom either”
We started having sex and my legs were far from closed, it felt a lot different to how I remembered, but Brendon sure liked kissing more that what he used to. I realised how much I missed him that a tear fell from my eyes
“am I hurting you?” he asked and I shook my head and wiped my eye
“no, I’m fine” I smiled
“okay, well I’m about to go a little harder since I have to be on stage soon” he said softly
I was steadying my breathing “I regret you not having a condom”
“sorry” he said “I’ve only been dreaming of doing this again”
“while you were with Ryan?” I asked
“…maybe” he said
I pulled his head to mine and forced him to kiss me as I let out a moan and his phone was vibrating and going off on the floor and I squeezed the cushion on the couch
“shit” Brendon breathed “I’m coming”
“so am I, so am I” I squealed and Brendon kissed me passionately and I felt him squirting on my pelvis, which was gross but at that moment I didn’t care. It was the only thing I hated about sex, the mess.
“I gotta go, really fucking bad” he said jumping up and putting his clothes on
“can you get that off?” he asked in the moonlight pointing to my pelvis
“I’ll find a way, you go ahead” I said getting tissues and water
“no, it was my mess” he said helping me by using his phone as a torch
“Brendon, go!” I said
“I’m not leaving you here” he said helping me get dressed and I thought about how I left him.
Too many memories.
We jumped off the bus and ran into the venue and Brendon messed his hair
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Jon yelled running with his guitar and we were at the side of the stage
“have fun” I smiled and Brendon kissed me “I’ll have a guitar to hide my erection for a while”
I laughed and hugged him and they had 5 minutes to go
“Juliet, I love you” he said and I looked into his eyes but he had to go on stage and I waved but he was already pleasing the crowd.
We thanked the crowd and got off stage and Ella was watching
“oh hey” I smiled
“you did a really good job. It was excellent” she said
“thanks” I nodded and she did too and was about to walk away
“hey” I said grabbing her arm and she looked at me “what did I do?”
“nothing” she smiled a little
“no, something is up” I said
“I came to watch you play, as promised” she said
I didn’t know what to say.
“I have to go” she said and walked away, from that moment on, I felt a large hole in my heart
That night on the bus, Spencer was trying to get Juliet in his bunk, but I managed to pull her away for a moment “stay with me” I said quietly and she smiled “Spencer is drunk, I don’t think I can stop him”
I nodded in agreement and she started laughing “I’m not exactly sensible right now either”
I smiled and cuddled her and she gave me a peck on the cheek.
Later, I went to my bunk alone and fell asleep. I woke up later when the bus stalled and everything shook and I freaked out.
I got out of my bunk and checked on the dogs that were going crazy, I calmed them down by giving them pats and Ryan came and helped. I then went to the front of the bus where Jerry, our driver was outside and the bus was pulled over.
“hey, what happened?” I asked
“I hit a deer” he said and I saw the body of the animal on the road and Jerry looked shaken and I rubbed his back
“I called the ambulance who’re getting someone to get the deer” he said
“hey” Juliet said in her pyjamas “what…” she said and gasped
Jerry looked even worse after that
“shh” I said and she put her arms around me
“the poor thing” she said quietly
“go back to bed” I said but she shook her head “I’m not leaving”
“I better clean the blood off the bus” Jerry said
“I’ll help” I said
He came back with water and sponges and I let go of Juliet and she made an upset noise
“go inside” I said softly
“no” she said “I’ll help”
We got most of it off and a vet came and they took the deer and thanked us for calling.
We got on the bus and Jerry took a deep breath
“it’ll be okay” I said “our stop isn’t far away”
He nodded and took off the breaks and drove. I sat near him on the couch to make sure he was okay. Juliet stayed with me and rested her head on me
“go to bed” I repeated with a small smile
“I’m not leaving you” she said quietly
Once we arrived, Jerry went to his hotel with My Chemical Romance’s bus driver and I took Juliet with me to the back and closed the door
“I’m not sleepy” she said
We laid in bed together and I held her tight “I’m pretty shaken, I hit my head in that bunk”
“poor thing” she said rubbing my head “you know, I really liked it how you were all manly before.. it was kinda hot”
I laughed and gave her a kiss “are you sobering up on me?”
She nodded and kissed the front of my neck and it was a nice, little quiet moment
“when you told me you loved me, did you mean it?” she asked
“I did” I said breathlessly “every word”
“will you say it to me again?” she asked quietly and I looked down at her and laughed a little “why?”
“I just wanna hear it again” she smiled
I looked into her eyes and gently stroked her face with my hand, I moved my head closer so our noses brushed and whispered “I love you”
We started making out but she stopped for a moment and ran her fingers through my hair “I love you Brendon”
I smiled and held her tight and we fell asleep.
After a week of ignoring Frank, he started to get really impatient with me and I started to miss him. During our one day break, I decided to ignore Emma’s advice, I liked Frank and nothing was stopping that. When the sun was setting, I opened the door to their bus and climbed on, I smiled when I saw Frank but it went away as soon as I saw Emma on his lap and she had just started kissing him but he pushed her off when he saw me
“Ella?” he said and Emma turned and stood up “Ella-”
I shook my head and got off the bus and walked away but she followed me
“Ella wait” she said
“YOU SAID THEY WERE ALL THE SAME” I turned and screamed in her face
“I know I know” she said “but I like him”
“you saw me kiss him Emma! Do you have no respect? You obviously knew I liked him and I fucking trusted you, I believed in your words and you just stab me in the back?!” I said with tears welling in my eyes “I fucking hate you” I whispered and ran away. I hated my life, I hated everyone.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” I yelled
“I…” Emma started but couldn’t continue and I ran off to try and find Ella. I looked everywhere, asked everyone and tried to call her. I was wondering why she was acting so strange, after I thought we had something going on. I started calling out her name but I couldn’t see her anywhere. All I remembered was she was wearing a brown hoodie, but it was starting to get dark and I was getting worried.
I sat down alone for a while as it started to get dark, the tears wouldn’t stop falling, but I just needed to be alone. I decided to try and man up and talk about it. I got up from where I was sitting and started to walk back to the venue. I got to the path up the hill and kept wiping my eyes, I had feelings for Frank, very big feelings infact. The betrayal kept coming back into my mind, and the tears kept flowing, it got to the point where I couldn’t actually see where I was walking, and like a deer in the headlights, I was hit by a car. Goodnight.
One day I will write a sex scene and not cringe.
Love, SareBear XoXo