Mikey witnesses some immoral behaviour, things start to get crazy...
"Hey Shane, how come you're in Belleville so often? You don't even live in New Jersey!" I asked as soon as I realised that. The car shook as we passed over a dodgy bit or tarmac, making the passenger seat I sat on jolt a little. I had a slight headache but luckily had no nausea: I knew exactly who planned to get drunk that night.
"Oh, well I'm in the band so I... Got a flat now nearby." he gloated, carefully wording his sentences. Shane gripped the steering wheel, racing down the tight roads. It was surprising how good at driving he actaully was.
"Really?! That's awesome!" I congratulated, my wariness disappearing for a moment.
"Yeah..." Shane set off into the heavy late night traffic, bringing the speed down dramatically. I prayed nobody like Gerard was driving at this time.
I looked out the window, trying to ignore everyone else and let my thoughts run away with me. The inky black sky dotted with piercing, brilliant white-yellow stars looked like it lasted forever. I became agitated as I kept loosing my train of thought, getting distracted and fogetting my original panics and questions.
Shane... Who is he, really? Frank said he met him at the mall or someplace. Why'd a guy from so far away come to such a small place? There isn't much to do in Belleville and it's far away from any truly interesting places that I know of. You may as well skip this dump and head striahgt on to New York if you want to be in a band with any chance of setting off. And, why is he hanging out with people our age. If I was in some place alone, I'd be aiming for higher ages.
Aagh, it makes no sense. Why'd you make friends and become pretty commited when you'd have to leave? It's like Shane knew he would get into that band. He must've, it's such a huge gamble otherwise!
With all these thoughts circling around in my head, I started to become nervous once more. Maybe Gerard was right to not let me see Shane after all, maybe Shane had another reason to be in Belleville.
I tapped my fingers along the dashboard quietly, pouting unintentionally when suddenly Shane grabbed my hand. I was suprised how quick he was actaully.
"Mikey." Again, his voice erased all doubts about him. No matter who he is, Shane's a guy who treats me nice... Yet I still felt nervous.
He held my hand on the dashboard for a while. I didn't know what to do. I don't really want him in the same way I want, say, Frank perhaps. But he's holding my hand. It was flattering, to be noticed like that, being treated so (seemingly) gentle at the smae time.
"Don't do that. There's a better thing you can do with those..." Laced with innuendo again. He stopped between Ray and Frank's houses and got a little closer to me.
Shane won't hurt me unlike Gerard or Frank, would he?
The voices from the back were muffled and Frank and Ray didn't get out for a few minutes. They were arguing in muffled tones, slipping in trashy comments about one-and-other. I shivered for how cold the car was, the air-con was on full blast and Shane's heat was pretty nice, at first. I tried to move my hand but Shane held strong, refusing to budge and inch.
"Don't be annoying." Shane whispered. "It detracts from your sweet-ness."
Shane suddenly hauled me over with both hands, pulling me out the seat and I cursed myself for undoing the seatbelt only seconds before. I made little attmept to fight him off and perched on the side of the dirver seat, unsure of what was to become of me.
He pressed both his and my hands into my lap. To be more precise; crotch, hands pressing harder bit by bit. He got closer again, resting his head on my shoulder and stroked around the top of my shirt with another hand, his breath warm and reminiscent of Gerard's in those so fond moments we seldom shared. I shivered, frozen in a state of confusement and a hint ecstacy, despite it being what I shouldn't have wanted.
Shane unzipped my pants, gritting his teeth as if to stop laughter. As soon as I felt my zipper start to slide down I knew it was wrong, and fear began crawling over my skin, that dirty feeling of worthlessness catching up with me. A hand was working at the bottom but I wouldn't allow it: I squirmed and did my best to stop him getting any further.
I yelped and tried fighting him off. Shane hardly moved an inch. Shit, that bastard is strong. I did manage to free my hand from his but Shane carried on. I'm sure this is what 'molesting' is....
"Shane! Get off!" I demanded after silent struggles, and to my surprise he did. Shane let go of me suddenly, gasping and cursing under his breath, rubbing his temples. He returned to grasp the steering wheel slwoly and almost mechanically and I practically jumped back to my seat, half tempted to take Gerard out the car and walk, or at least hide in his protective hold for a while.
Shane rubbed an eye wearily and replied,
"Ah, crap, Mikey I... I thought you wanted to...."
What the fuck is he on about? I never came onto him, did I? Maybe because I hadn't tried to fight him off in the first place...
"Shane! What the fuck were you -"
"No, I'm sorry Mikey. That was so bad of me. I hope -" Shane fired up the engine again with an aggressive twist of the key. "You'll forgive me."
I thought Shane was being genuine. It may well have been my fault.
I didn't say anything as I got Gerard out at our house, he wouldn't even take it all in in his terrible state.
I concentrated on getting Gerard to bed, helping him up the stairs and sitting with him for a while.
"Do I have to?" Gerard whined unhappily, still grinning at me.
"Yes, c'mon, I know you can take off your top when you're pissed."
"Ughh, fine!" Gerard peeled his top of, falling back onto his bed. I brought him the biggest flask of water I could find and put in on his bedside cabinet and literally tucked him into bed.
I was too tired to dwell on it, too tired to deal with it at the time and crashed on my own with a heavy sigh, thinking, 'what the fuck now?'.