chapter title from 'scars by papa roach'
I woke up in the morning, my head heavy with the sadness of the night that preceeded it. I looked at the Fresh forming scar on my arm and the tears started again. I spent the day alone, and fell back into another sleep fuel by tears. An immersurable number of days passed like this. I faintly heard the sound of my phone ringing every now and again, but I never made an effort to answer it. I heard the doorbell ring, but I didn't get up. Probably someone trying to sell something.
"EMMA YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR NOW OR I WILL KNOCK IT DOWN" I heard Ellie yell. I sluggishly got up and opened the door.
She wrapped me in her arms and I broke down. After I'd stopped crying she looked right into my eyes.
"Emma, I need you to go see Frank" She said
"Why would I want to see him" I asked
even though I truley wanted to see him again...
"Im worried about him. He hasn't been out of his room since he got back from the cinema. He hasn't spoke to anyone, he hasn't eaten, and every time I got past his room all I can hear is him sobbing your name. I'm asking you, as his sister, to come and get him to come out of his room. Even if you chose not to speak to him again, just help me please. I feel like I've lost my best friend, I don't want to lose my brother as well. With this whole pregnancy, I'm gonna need you guys" She said. I nodded and wiped my eyes.
I ran upstairs and quickly had a shower. It's amazing how a shower can clear your head and make you feel more human. My thoughts were becoming easier to figure out. I had jumped to conclusions. I didn't give him a chance to explain. I should at least hear him out.
I got changed quickly into some skinny jeans and one of Franks t-shorts before going back downstairs to Ellie. She drove me to her and Franks house, and Gerard was in the living room. He hugged me, almost looking like he was glad I was alive.
"Dont you ever scare me like that EVER again" He said and hugged me tightly.
I slowly walked up the stairs towards Franks room. I slumped outside his door and leaned my head against it. I listened to the sound coming from his room intently. Ellie was right, all I could hear was faint sobbing. I felt a tears slide down my cheek. It hurt me to hear my Frankie in pain. I knocked on the door and heard some shuffling in the room until the sobbing started again.
"Frankie..." I said, and heard every sound in the room Freeze. "Frankie, it's Emma... look, I wanna talk. I'm sorry, I should have listened to you, please Frankie. We're all worried about you. Please Frankie. I love you" I whispered through my tears. Suddenly I heard movement and I stood up.
I saw the door open and Frank stood in the doorway. He was ghostly pale, his eyes misted over with tears. I saw his arms and there were faint signs of scars, similar to the ones on my own arms. His hair was a mess and he looked deathly skinny. Seeing him like this made me breakdown crying again. I fell into his arms and sobbed against his chest as his arms wrapped around me. His hands stroked my hair and I felt tears that didn't belong to my own eyes fall onto me. I moved us into his room and we sat down on the floor, backs against the wall.
"Emma. You have to believe me. I didn't kiss her. She's a girl I used to know, and she saw me and just threw herself at me. I ran after you, for so long. I just kept looking for you, and when Gerard called me to tell me he'd picked you up, I was almost relieved. I'd worried that something had happened to you, I was just happy you were safe. My I couldn't stand to thinkthat I'd hurt you. You trusted me and I felt like I'd let you down. So I, you know, decided I wasn't worth being free of pain so..." He said and held out his wrists to me. I stroked my hands over the scars and held his hand as he carried on talking
"I know this sounds totally farfetcged, but she really did kiss me. I didn't kiss her back at all. God you probably don't believe me, I'm wasting my time but... I'm sorry..." he opened his mouth to continue but I pressed my lips to his. I let my hands escape into his hair and moved myself onto his lap. He held me closely to him as his Tongue ran across my bottom lip. I gladly let him in and leaned closer into him. I pulled away from him suddenly and looked straight into his eyes.
"Never, EVER hurt yourself ever again. Never even think of it. Don't scare me like that. I'm sorry I ran away, I should have waited to hear you out, so I'm sorry. But please, promise me you'll never hurt yourself" I said and felt more tears escape onto my cheeks.
"Only if you don't" He whispered and pulled me wrist out gently and ran his thumb over the scar there. I nodded and saw him smile for the first time since I'd got there. His lips crushed mine again and I knew just from the way he kissed me that he loved me. He started kissing me deeper and trying to pull my shirt off. I pulled away from him and gave him a stern look.
"First, you eat" I said and he sighed.
"Sure thing, I'm hungry" He said
"Then why didn't you eat!!!"
"Because I didn't wanna face anyone. They would just try and comfort me, or yell at me. It's just, look that doesn't matter, let's just go" He said and stood up. I only just realised what he was wearing. He had on some black jogging bottoms, a t-shirt and a scarf that looked oddly familiar.
"Hey, is that my scarf?" I asked
"Erm, yeah... I wore it because it kinda, smells like you" He said and blushed.
I smiled and hugged him
"Ive been wearing your boxers and t-shirt for the same reason" I whispered and he giggled.
I lead him downstairs, he was still pretty weak after not eating, so I held his hand the whole way into the kitchen. He sat down at the breakfast bar and leaned his head on the counter.
"You tired?" I asked him sofly.
"Mmh, I hasn't slept for about 6 days" he said and I hugged him and kissed his cheek
"Well, eat something, and then you can go and have a sleep" I said and e held onto me
"You won't leave me will you" He said. He looked so innocent, like a child
"Never" I said and kissed him softly.
"So, what do you want to eat honey?" I asked him.
"Ermmm, pancakes, like the morning after we first..." he said and trailed off blushing
"Pancakes coming right up" I smiled at him.
An hour and a fair few pancakes later, Frank gently pulled me up the stairs.
"Do you want something to sleep in?" He asked and I nodded. He threw me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. I smiled and quickly got changed in his en suit bathroom. When I walked back in Frank was tucked under the covers, eyes closed, breathing steadily.
I gently got under the covers and wrapped my arms around him from behind. He turned around and wrapped his arms around me.
"Dont leave me..." he whispered
"Im not going anywhere. I love you Frankie" I whispered back
"I love you to baby" He whispered and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled closer into his chest and fell asleep