Categories > Original > Poetry
Imperfect
1 ReviewsPerfect becomes imperfect, but in the end it's all okay
Reviews
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Imperfect
(#) LiveLikeLaughter 2011-01-14 03:33:26 PM
This is really good, with the imagery and the metaphors. I might suggest playing around some with line breaks (some just seemed a bit odd to me; if you'd like me to I can point them out) and a couple of the images (like the clipped wings; clipped wings are an image that's already been used, maybe not enough to be cliche, but too much to still be new either; I might try weights for wings or stone wings or something like that), but overall it's great, and I especially like the ending.