Categories > Original > Poetry

Imperfect

by alloreli 1 Reviews

Perfect becomes imperfect, but in the end it's all okay

Category: Poetry - Rating: G - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2011/01/05 - Updated: 2011/01/06 - 151 words - Complete

Reviews

  • Imperfect

    (#) LiveLikeLaughter 2011-01-14 03:33:26 PM

    This is really good, with the imagery and the metaphors. I might suggest playing around some with line breaks (some just seemed a bit odd to me; if you'd like me to I can point them out) and a couple of the images (like the clipped wings; clipped wings are an image that's already been used, maybe not enough to be cliche, but too much to still be new either; I might try weights for wings or stone wings or something like that), but overall it's great, and I especially like the ending.

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